I have to keep a beard to hide my weak chin, but I'm pretty hairy so it grows pretty well.
My only problem is that after a while, especially after the beard's over 1 cm, I start finding all these super split hairs, with like 5 branches, and then I'm always pulling them out obsessively until I pretty much have a bald spot somewhere and then I have to trim it down to get rid of all the fucked up split ends.
So I never reach the really burly manly beard I would like. It seems my beard was growing a lot better when I was younger.
And Watson's "buttfucking biker" reminds me of one of my most artful experiments. I had like a handlebar that connected to my sideburns all nicely trimmed, but then I also had a long tuft of beard in the middle of my chin. I had to MSPaint it so you could grasp the awesome.