Author Topic: good excuses to miss work (Read 1276 times)

fattygay · « **on:** August 25, 2009, 08:25:43 AM »

so i want to go to this 4 day festival that's from Friday to Monday, I've already used all of my paid holiday and my boss is a cunt so the only thing i can do is pretend to be sick or pretend someone died, what kinda excuses have you guys used?

Sleazy · « **Reply #1 on:** August 25, 2009, 08:26:46 AM »

4 days is rough, not sure you'd be able to do that without your boss knowing you're faking

Cthulhu! · « **Reply #2 on:** August 25, 2009, 08:35:47 AM »

"I have swine flu"

brent · « **Reply #3 on:** August 25, 2009, 08:40:19 AM »

mah butt hurt

MexicanSpaniard · « **Reply #4 on:** August 25, 2009, 08:43:59 AM »

Usually diarrhea is fool proof but 4 days of it might be hard to believe.

kilgore. · « **Reply #5 on:** August 25, 2009, 08:45:29 AM »

tell em' your mom shit the couch again, and you'll be cleaning all weekend.

EXTRA SPICY · « **Reply #6 on:** August 25, 2009, 08:51:13 AM »

Quote from: fattygay on August 25, 2009, 08:25:43 AM

so i want to go to this 4 day festival that's from Friday to Monday, I've already used all of my paid holiday and my boss is a cunt so the only thing i can do is pretend to be sick or pretend someone died, what kinda excuses have you guys used?

know a friend in the medical field?
i used to cop out of my bank job with falsified doctors notes for strep throat and a rx for antibiotics.
if they fire you for it you can collect unemployment too, good luck.

Des Esseintes · « **Reply #7 on:** August 25, 2009, 09:10:37 AM »

Quote from: MexicanSpaniard on August 25, 2009, 08:43:59 AM

Usually diarrhea is fool proof but 4 days of it might be hard to believe.

Usually the best excuse to use, yeah.

Alternatively, say you caught AIDS. No one will believe you but they'll be too scared to bring it up.

crailtapper · « **Reply #8 on:** August 25, 2009, 09:20:28 AM »

death in the family, you have to fly out to whatever city... i'll be your "relative" if you're that desperate for realism. i don't mind helping someone cheat their boss.

odp · « **Reply #9 on:** August 25, 2009, 09:24:25 AM »

leaving town for the family usually works

sprained ankle is ok too.

the best one though comes into play if you wear glasses. I've used this a few times. All you've gotta do is say that your glasses got broken and you can't see enough to even drive safely without them, therefore you can't come to work. It takes at least 4 days to get a new pair.......

anblue · « **Reply #10 on:** August 25, 2009, 09:25:26 AM »

helping your mom move out of state

crailtapper · « **Reply #11 on:** August 25, 2009, 09:26:31 AM »

Quote from: odp on August 25, 2009, 09:24:25 AM

leaving town for the family usually works

sprained ankle is ok too.

the best one though comes into play if you wear glasses. I've used this a few times. All you've gotta do is say that your glasses got broken and you can't see enough to even drive safely without them, therefore you can't come to work. It takes at least 4 days to get a new pair.......

thats a good one. i've actually had to miss work years ago for this very reason.

H8R part 4 · « **Reply #12 on:** August 25, 2009, 09:28:36 AM »

food poisoning can work but 4 days is pushing it.
flying out because of a death in the family is a good one but realistically that shouldn't take 4 days either.

why not just go for a couple of days instead?

Star Whores Episode I: The Fellatio Menace · « **Reply #13 on:** August 25, 2009, 09:31:37 AM »

tell the boss your busy fucking his wife and it takes four days of hard fucking for her to climax

rawbertson. · « **Reply #14 on:** August 25, 2009, 09:31:58 AM »

i would jsut be honest and say you really want to go and when you come back you wont use any more holiday time for a long ass time and if you cant go you are just going to quit and go anyway. if your boss says no still then id say its not worth working there in the first place.

odp · « **Reply #15 on:** August 25, 2009, 09:44:07 AM »

Quote from: crailtapper on August 25, 2009, 09:26:31 AM

Quote from: odp on August 25, 2009, 09:24:25 AM
Expand Quote
leaving town for the family usually works

sprained ankle is ok too.

the best one though comes into play if you wear glasses. I've used this a few times. All you've gotta do is say that your glasses got broken and you can't see enough to even drive safely without them, therefore you can't come to work. It takes at least 4 days to get a new pair.......
[close]

thats a good one. i've actually had to miss work years ago for this very reason.

yeah, man, it's a good one. fail proof, so long as they wont fire you.

Narcissus · « **Reply #16 on:** August 25, 2009, 10:27:47 AM »

Quote from: Star Whores Episode I: The Fellatio Menace on August 25, 2009, 09:31:37 AM

tell the boss your busy fucking his wife and it takes four days of hard fucking for her to climax

Yes!

You need to ramp up your intimidation factor. I call out sick all the time (and always on Fridays/Mondays/sometimes both) and no one says shit because they think I'm a loose cannon. Yesterday my boss caught me making a shit ton of copies for personal use and when he asked what was up, I just told him. Today I was 30 minutes late because I went to a diner for breakfast. You just can't give a fuck because there are an endless supply of shitty jobs in the world. Worst case, you get a new one. But make sure that you occassionally do a good job so that they are forced to prefer keeping you over training someone new...That's the key to succeeding in this world of shit.

RightCoastBiased · « **Reply #17 on:** August 25, 2009, 10:43:35 AM »

find a rehab facility a few hours away and tell them you have a close friend of relative who is getting checked in and you are going with them.
You won't be required to divulge info about the person and if your boss is one of those people who would actually call the facility, they won't give the info. Just be sure to remember in case anyone asks a few months down the road.

nocomply · « **Reply #18 on:** August 25, 2009, 12:06:22 PM »

For a weekender like this it's also acceptable to use two excuses. Friday you could say that you have major stomach problems. By Monday your car could be "broke down".

odp · « **Reply #19 on:** August 25, 2009, 02:04:42 PM »

whats this festival anyways?

grimcity · « **Reply #20 on:** August 25, 2009, 02:29:20 PM »

Your beloved and widowed aunt recently purchased a car off of Craigslist on the cheap, but it's out of state. You're driving her there and following her back. It'll take about four days because she's not a power driver like you. Make sure you know everything you should know about this imaginary car in case you're asked... as well as where you're getting it (private seller would be the best for your tale).

If you use the dead relative, do it sort of begrudgingly... like, "I didn't really know my great uncle, but he and my dad were close so I gotta do it." Do that so you don't have to pretend to be mourning.

MFS · « **Reply #21 on:** August 25, 2009, 03:41:56 PM »

shingles....adult version of chicken pox....very contagious and can be dangerous if the wrong person gets them....takes at least 4 days for the contagiousness to go away....this is the best one ever...

brycickle · « **Reply #22 on:** August 25, 2009, 04:16:23 PM »

Quote from: MexicanSpaniard on August 25, 2009, 08:43:59 AM

Usually diarrhea is fool proof but 4 days of it might be hard to believe.

Bloody diarrhea is even better though, no one wants to know what's up with that.

Beer Keg Peg Leg · « **Reply #23 on:** August 25, 2009, 08:01:29 PM »

Quote from: HATE! on August 25, 2009, 10:33:21 AM

If you can contact this man, he can help you. he is an ace at this sorta thing.

My step-mother's gay ex-husband who was also my teacher in high school is best friends with the dude who plays ferris bueller's best friend in the movie. Basically he is ferris bueler in real life.

Also a good excuse is new vannesa hudgens tittttaayyyssss pix

fattygay · « **Reply #24 on:** August 25, 2009, 10:02:19 PM »

Quote from: odp on August 25, 2009, 02:04:42 PM

whats this festival anyways?

its the beachdown festival in brighton, grandmaster flash is headlining
i think i'll probably just go for friday saturday and sunday using a diarrhea excuse

sergioflorez · « **Reply #25 on:** August 25, 2009, 11:02:12 PM »

i have used court dates, last minute doctors appointments, and emergency room visits as excuses. never fails.

Author Topic: good excuses to miss work (Read 1276 times)

fattygay

crailtapper

odp

crailtapper

odp

odp

fattygay

sergioflorez