Things you are not stoked on

[tag_king]

from what I understand it was a "cool party trick"

[Lance]

While making motorcycle noises, do you wear a helmet?

helmet is completely optional, but this could be a challenge for the next KOTR...

[max power]

do you think he charges for appearances? i have a party coming up soon

[ahlee]

Expand Quote

While making motorcycle noises, do you wear a helmet?

[close]

helmet is completely optional, but this could be a challenge for the next KOTR...

fucking with a cape on, could potentially be awesome.

[tag_king]

I think you just need to buy him the wine. He prefers 1.75 litre bottles.. it hurts him more, but he gets more to drink after.

[Lance]

"Big Butt Parade" is one of my redtube go to's, and the ass of naomi, oh naomi how i would make sweet sweet dirtbike noises all night for your ass in my face

[Matze]

i let you know if i'm bleeding

[ahlee]

"Big Butt Parade" is one of my redtube go to's, and the ass of naomi, oh naomi how i would make sweet sweet dirtbike noises all night for your ass in my face

i watched one of her vids, where this black dude threw her the lamest fuck. dude was such a chump. its like the dude had a huge plane and didnt know how to fly it.

[Lance]

speaking of wine bottles in the ass, this chick in high school got wasted and sat on a goldshlager bottle in front of half the school, she never heard the end of it....that bitch was smokin hot too, we saw her out a couple months ago she had a kid, she was asking me and my friend who went to H.S. together the basic small talk and what not and then I proceeded to ask her if she remebered that night and she walked away, guess she wasnt backing me. She still looked good as hell, kid and all

[ahlee]

did the child resemble a bottle of gnarly head? the relationship could have gone further.

[Lance]

no but it would've been ill if it did...oh Naomi

[artichoke]

This just furthers my case that any girl named Naomi is attractive, if not also a freak.  Seriously, do a google image search for Naomi and see what comes up.  All hot.

[Lance]

This just furthers my case that any girl named Naomi is attractive, if not also a freak.  Seriously, do a google image search for Naomi and see what comes up.  All hot.

i knew there was a reason fruit was so good, look at those melons...

[max power]

This just furthers my case that any girl named Naomi is attractive, if not also a freak.  Seriously, do a google image search for Naomi and see what comes up.  All hot.

my friends ex was a naomi and she was awful. also, on the third page of the naomi google search there's a tranny with a giant cock. you may need to re-think that theory.

[ahlee]

well i mean cmon man, its never going to be %100.

80% of all susans are duds

[fatcockXL]

have a story about my friend, chan. chan really makes up for her boring last couple albums with her zest for anal related practice. take a little dive in the nose candy, not much, save it primarily for the tip of your penis. chan taught me that. early in the morning when we were just tired niggas kissing on the couch, watching the wild ride epicly laterds. im trying to remember what i can, but i clearly remember her pulling a row of anal beads out of her purse (i figured her ass had a deathwish). she took 3 almost 4. maybe it was heath talking on the television in the background, or the yay on wee wee, or the fact that she had 3 almost 4 beads in her ass, kissing me on the couch. then she wanted to suck on the beads, womp womp womp womp. i can deal with listening to her cover of wonderwall on repeat and her unruly toenails when we hang out, but suck your ass beads? not with my favorite vest glaring at me from across the room. no way no how. sorry on lack of details, i am in a rush right now.

[artichoke]

I just choked on a pretzel because I was chewing it while reading that.

[Lance]

have a story about my friend, chan. chan really makes up for her boring last couple albums with her zest for anal related practice. take a little dive in the nose candy, not much, save it primarily for the tip of your penis. chan taught me that. early in the morning when we were just tired niggas kissing on the couch, watching the wild ride epicly laterds. im trying to remember what i can, but i clearly remember her pulling a row of anal beads out of her purse (i figured her ass had a deathwish). she took 3 almost 4. maybe it was heath talking on the television in the background, or the yay on wee wee, or the fact that she had 3 almost 4 beads in her ass, kissing me on the couch. then she wanted to suck on the beads, womp womp womp womp. i can deal with listening to her cover of wonderwall on repeat and her unruly toenails when we hang out, but suck your ass beads? not with my favorite vest glaring at me from across the room. no way no how. sorry on lack of details, i am in a rush right now.

no need to apologize, your contribution to the assthread was enough for me, Chan sounds like a dirty lil thang, lickin those beads damn girl....get gnaughty

[tag_king]

did I say litre? I meant gallon.

[sven thorkel]

well i mean cmon man, its never going to be %100.

80% of all susans are duds

its true. i use susans as a name for all mid life women who use the phrase "think of the children" and think anything bad is the work of the devil

[max power]

i hope he likes a challenge

[kilgore.]

have a story about my friend, chan. chan really makes up for her boring last couple albums with her zest for anal related practice. take a little dive in the nose candy, not much, save it primarily for the tip of your penis. chan taught me that. early in the morning when we were just tired niggas kissing on the couch, watching the wild ride epicly laterds. im trying to remember what i can, but i clearly remember her pulling a row of anal beads out of her purse (i figured her ass had a deathwish). she took 3 almost 4. maybe it was heath talking on the television in the background, or the yay on wee wee, or the fact that she had 3 almost 4 beads in her ass, kissing me on the couch. then she wanted to suck on the beads, womp womp womp womp. i can deal with listening to her cover of wonderwall on repeat and her unruly toenails when we hang out, but suck your ass beads? not with my favorite vest glaring at me from across the room. no way no how. sorry on lack of details, i am in a rush right now.

i'm seeing chan this next weekend...maybe i'll yell some anal slurs from the crowd.

[colin]

I think you just need to buy him the wine. He prefers 1.75 litre bottles.. it hurts him more, but he gets more to drink after.

Fuck, man, so much good shit in this thread. Haha! ahlee, that story is so good. Speaking of wine bottles in bums:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0203052sherry1.html

[Lance]

damn dude, i heard janet jackson fucks with coffee enemas, all this ass talk throughout the day makin me wanna get some tonight...but i know that aint happenin'

[NEVER BACK DOWN]

YOU PUSSY!

You wont get any with that losing mentality

[Lance]

YOU PUSSY!

You wont get any with that losing mentality

thank you, i know i wont because i won't break the ice, but if they initiate a convo with me, im in like sin...

[rocklobster]

have a story about my friend, chan. chan really makes up for her boring last couple albums with her zest for anal related practice. take a little dive in the nose candy, not much, save it primarily for the tip of your penis. chan taught me that. early in the morning when we were just tired niggas kissing on the couch, watching the wild ride epicly laterds. im trying to remember what i can, but i clearly remember her pulling a row of anal beads out of her purse (i figured her ass had a deathwish). she took 3 almost 4. maybe it was heath talking on the television in the background, or the yay on wee wee, or the fact that she had 3 almost 4 beads in her ass, kissing me on the couch. then she wanted to suck on the beads, womp womp womp womp. i can deal with listening to her cover of wonderwall on repeat and her unruly toenails when we hang out, but suck your ass beads? not with my favorite vest glaring at me from across the room. no way no how. sorry on lack of details, i am in a rush right now.

the past 3 pages have been insanely funny, but this takes the cake....  gnar'd....

[EricLogan]

My penis must be an pinworm, the only time I've gotten bung is when we're both half asleep

fuck the pinworm talk, i want to know more about you guys eating out a girls asshole....why?? does it taste exactly like i'd imagine(sweat and shit mixed)? i've always been curious as to why people did this.

sweat n' shit? maybe if she shit, didn't whipe and then ran a mile.

That's a no brainer, man. Get it clean first, then it's all gravy (not literally, that'd be awful).

Though if anal play has no appeal whatsoever to begin with, why bother?

I went through a phase where I was way into it, but my girlfriend wasn't. It sucked, I could talk her into it, but I just felt guilty and selfish after, and she also got all bummed like her butthole and vag were in a sibling rivalry over my tongue and penis, and also, she now gets to use it as a bargaining chip against you when the innevitable delegation comes along.

"Oh, you don't wanna take out the trash? Well, who took a dick into their unwilling asshole, hmm?"

Fight over, there's no topping that.

MexicanSpaniard, I know you feel me, dawg.

[Bill]

i imagine getting fingered in the butt is similar to the feeling you get when you're really constipated and you try to push a shit out and you push really hard, but then you like stop for one second and the shit like sucks itself back up your butthole really fast and it feels really unpleasant. am i right?

If it was that unpleasant, why would anyone do it? Men have a g spot in there which is the prostate. If it is massaged correctly, it will make you cum without ever touching your dick. If its anything like the female g spot, then it must feel pretty good. Its becoming pretty common in normal life. I remember girls back in high school doing it. And its getting pretty big in porn, with tons of series devoted to it.

The thing I don't get is that anytime I've talked to anyone about it, the first thing they say is "no way, its gay." Even people in this thread jump out and say that its gay. How can it possibly be gay if its a girl doing it? Yes, gay guys fuck each others asses, but they also suck each others dick. You don't think a girl sucking dick is gay, so why do you think a girl playing with a guys ass is?

[EricLogan]

wait, who said getting your dick sucked by a girl's straight?