Awkward Sexual Experiences

[matty_c]

Ask her to put it on with her mouth, everyone’s different I just happen to think that’s hot as fuck

[lazer69]

man tinder seems like such a waste of time. usually either get nothing, or theres few messages and then ghost. Granted ive dated a few girls off there. But never really been a hookup app to me.

How do you go from match to instant hookup like that?

[matty_c]

Banter

[Fongstarr.]

man tinder seems like such a waste of time. usually either get nothing, or theres few messages and then ghost. Granted ive dated a few girls off there. But never really been a hookup app to me.

How do you go from match to instant hookup like that?

I don't know form experience but my boy tells me by the end of it, it's still can just be dating. I think if any, it cuts through the bullshit of seeing if someone is sort of into someone. By the time you are on the date, you still have to put some moves on a girl. My boy went on one date with a girl but later found out she got off a bad relationship. He trying banging her on so many occasions but she just didn't feel comfortable but oddly allowed my friend to eat her out. Like 5 dates in, all he is doing is eating her pussy and then she tells him she can't go any further. The fuck! At least he dropped her and found a Mexican girl with a kid that was all about fucking on the same date.

[matty_c]

Wow I’m supposed to be the rough cunt on here
Fuck me

[Freelancevagrant]

Expand Quote

Sounds more like an IUD

[close]

Ah yes, Improvised Urethra Device

Them joints are dangerous, lost a lot of good men to IUD and VBIDS (Vaginal Based Implanted Dissolver of Sperm).

[Idk]

man tinder seems like such a waste of time. usually either get nothing, or theres few messages and then ghost. Granted ive dated a few girls off there. But never really been a hookup app to me.

How do you go from match to instant hookup like that?

You have to do some sort of activity but if she invites you over you pretty much just wait for a sign sometimes it’s nonverbal like a lingering look. Sometimes I just ask if I can kiss her.

[h00man]

How do you go from match to instant hookup like that?

It happens....

Met a girl on there, picked her up on new years eve, went to a bar, and did the deed at 1am

[Freelancevagrant]

I was with a girl for like 2 or so years, and on my deployment she was cheating on me, so I did too after I got back. I would say we were in an open relationship but neither of us knew it, because we were too chicken shit to break up or tell each other. 

This is around 2014, and my good friend was on tinder and just swiping and sorting later (as one does) and he sent me a screen shot asking if I knew my girlfriend was on tinder, I was heated she matched with my buddy. But, he text me that while I was in tinder and about ten minutes later I swiped yes on her tinder and we didn’t match.

[Dr-Feelgood]

man tinder seems like such a waste of time. usually either get nothing, or theres few messages and then ghost. Granted ive dated a few girls off there. But never really been a hookup app to me.

How do you go from match to instant hookup like that?

yeah i actually missed the whole tinder thing, never had it myself. When it first became popular i was always seeing a girl or didnt really have enough dry spells to consider tinder and ive been in a relationship for almost four years now so its looking like ill never get the experience the instant tinder hook ups

[Idk]

Expand Quote

man tinder seems like such a waste of time. usually either get nothing, or theres few messages and then ghost. Granted ive dated a few girls off there. But never really been a hookup app to me.

How do you go from match to instant hookup like that?

[close]

yeah i actually missed the whole tinder thing, never had it myself. When it first became popular i was always seeing a girl or didnt really have enough dry spells to consider tinder and ive been in a relationship for almost four years now so its looking like ill never get the experience the instant tinder hook ups

I just hooked up with another tinder match. I think it was obvious when she said she’s very toned from running so when we hung out I just waited to for any physical signs and she just seemed to get closer to me. At some point she got real close and that’s when you kiss her.

[ungzilla]

but when do you tell her that you're still dating a youtube video of extremely aesthetically satisfying skateboarding

[Idk]

but when do you tell her that you're still dating a youtube video of extremely aesthetically satisfying skateboarding

My tinder bio says in an open relationship with my skateboard so they already know.

[Larry]

couple of years ago I was applying to an art school in the Netherlands. (Im not Dutch)

Anyways we kind of had this open relationship going on with my gf and she said that during my trip if I happened to meet up and hook up with somebody it would be fine for her.

Blessed with this opportunity I ended up spending a night at my friends classmate. I was pretty interested on her and so on, I felt that there was some flirting goin on.

So we get to her place with this small group. She had a room at this anti-squat building which used to be an elementary school. She lived in a gym class and it was in a nasty condition, bit of a turn off.

But the bigger turn off ended up being the amouts of hash and weed we ended up smoking while drinking. After all that shit I could barely form sentences.

After a few hours we're left alone and we hit the bed. My head's really messed up and we end up having a small conversation about having sex but I just apologize that I don't have it in me after all that weed. We just end up spooning and I'm just thinking about my girlfriend.

 
Next morning I wake up feeling like total shit and I just wanna leave asap. So I bounce and meet up with my girlfriend later that evening. She ends up finding a single string of long blond hair off my shirt. So I tell her the whole thing later one. She just laughed it off and was cool about it.

Sometimes I still wonder, maybe the sex could have been great

[jgonzalez]

Bump

I was having sex while the TV was on and the song Word Up by Cameo came on. I really had to focus and power through while having that song play in the background.

[Frank]

Bump

I was having sex while the TV was on and the song Word Up by Cameo came on. I really had to focus and power through while having that song play in the background.

interesting. why did that song almost throw you off the track? theoretically this seems like a good song to have sex to to me.

[cky enthusiast]

Bump

I was having sex while the TV was on and the song Word Up by Cameo came on. I really had to focus and power through while having that song play in the background.

YALL PRETTY LAYDEEZ AROUND DA WERLD

[GardenSkater77]

If this guy ain’t packing heat nobody is.

[Frank]

man i love that song. i remember seeing the music video as a kid and being very impressed by that bulge. i just straight up listened to it 5 times in a row, it's still fire.

[Uncle Flea]

I got two.

Long ago me and my ex took some L plus a bunch of other stuff. It was not abnormal. We did the smorgasbord all the time. We were young and been running together for years.

So I'm going down on her and I go "WTF?"
She sits up and I picked a little piece of pink meat from my teeth.

She starts screaming something like "omg! Omg! Wtf! Am I bleeding!..."

I asked if it hurts or something.

I think quickly and say "it's ok it's ok. I've seen this before. No big deal baby." She chills out and we get back to fucking.

I had never seen anything like that ever. I bet it was a wart that was like skin tag shaped or something gross like this. We was very young and I got a few warts right after we broke up.

2016 I been fucking around with my room mate. Mostly hand jobs and light stuff. During this period I developed a hemorrhoid and I was complaining about it a ton. I had to use a special pillow and everything.
One day were in his room fucking around and he started eating my asshole. I'm like to that hurts stop.
Doesn't listen so I get up and get some pot leaving him hanging. The next day same thing. I sat down on the bed he's sucking my dick poorly. Not a very experienced lover. He says to me " do you think you can take it for a while?" I'm like "what?"  "Can you take it for a while?"
His dick is pretty fucking big and my ass is raw af. Dudes been living with me for a while and we hang out like almost everyday. I was very pissed off.

I'm like " dude no just no." He's like well you put the TV remote up your ass for a picture once.... I'm like "that was almost a decade ago and I have a hemorrhoid you know this." He says " I'm really good at it."

This is when I decide that this guy is too young for me. Complete dick for brains.

[jgonzalez]

Expand Quote

Bump

I was having sex while the TV was on and the song Word Up by Cameo came on. I really had to focus and power through while having that song play in the background.

[close]

YALL PRETTY LAYDEEZ AROUND DA WERLD

This is the reason it was difficult to stay focused lmao

Dam. He really bit off the wart. So sick.

[Jebediah]

One time decided to visit a glory hole. Looked like bathroom stalls with doors going to the floor, a nicely sized padded hole in the wall and TV's playing smut. I was just chillin in the booth and I see a tongue wagging through the waist high hole on the wall so I put my dick through. Almost immediately I feel a warm mouth wrap around me, and then teeth. Too much teeth! 

My dick was being roughly bitten by a stranger in this small dark room with 90s porno playing over my shoulder. I tried to pull back but got latched on, the teeth aggressively sinking into my sensitive flesh. I was panicking in pain, at the mercy of this deranged dick biter. I relaxed for a moment and they eased on the teeth for a moment and I took the opportunity to free my battered member from the dark mysterious hole of pain.

I yelled at whoever it was for the experience, then I zipped up and dipped out into the night. I probably wouldn't do it again.

[h00man]

Sure that wasnt a dog?

[RoaryMcTwang]

Sure that wasnt a dog?

Ha, exactly what I thought!

[teabag]

WALDEN

[AssMountain]

I was with a girl for like 2 or so years, and on my deployment she was cheating on me, so I did too after I got back. I would say we were in an open relationship but neither of us knew it, because we were too chicken shit to break up or tell each other. 

This is around 2014, and my good friend was on tinder and just swiping and sorting later (as one does) and he sent me a screen shot asking if I knew my girlfriend was on tinder, I was heated she matched with my buddy. But, he text me that while I was in tinder and about ten minutes later I swiped yes on her tinder and we didn’t match.

I've been in a similar situation. Homie came over from Australia to Nottingham and was trying to find a hookup, and on new years eve he showed me my then girlfriend's tinder profile as he was swiping through. Best new years eve ever, one of those nearly blowing the house up with fireworks kinda nights.

[TheLurper]

I don't know what it is about ladies in their mid 30s but they seem to be hell bent on going crazy the first time around.

Almost got my dick broken off the other night by some lady. She was on top and not being careful at all. She was trying to go up to the tip and then slam back down. She goes too far (of course), I slip out, she slams back down and she nearly breaks my dick.

It fucking hurt and I was scared I was going to have to go to the hospital.

It doesn't have to slamming into each other as hard as possible to be fun.

[RoaryMcTwang]

I don't know what it is about ladies in their mid 30s but they seem to be hell bent on going crazy the first time around.

Almost got my dick broken off the other night by some lady. She was on top and not being careful at all. She was trying to go up to the tip and then slam back down. She goes too far (of course), I slip out, she slams back down and she nearly breaks my dick.

It fucking hurt and I was scared I was going to have to go to the hospital.

It doesn't have to slamming into each other as hard as possible to be fun.

I’ve been there, it’s definitely safer to be on top

[Sila]

I don't know what it is about ladies in their mid 30s but they seem to be hell bent on going crazy the first time around.

Almost got my dick broken off the other night by some lady. She was on top and not being careful at all. She was trying to go up to the tip and then slam back down. She goes too far (of course), I slip out, she slams back down and she nearly breaks my dick.

It fucking hurt and I was scared I was going to have to go to the hospital.

It doesn't have to slamming into each other as hard as possible to be fun.

Damn that sounds awful. I really have a heavy distaste for women that go too hard without asking and surprisingly i've encountered it a lot. I say 'surprisingly' because usually it's women that have this complaint about men.

[SLAPASONIC]

Around 3 years ago I met a girl off bumble, she was from the US and was teaching Psychology or something in Tokyo. Really hipster looking but kinda cute, I told her I was only looking for something casual and she was cool with it. We ended up meeting in the suburb she lives in (a famous hipster area) for food and drinks.

Night starts off okay, she takes me to a Mexican place and we have like 2 mojitos and some tacos, she talks a lot about relationships, guys, Japanese culture, but I didn’t mind cause I’m not much of a talker unless I’m interested in the person/topic.

She invites me back to her place for wine and I accept. Get to her house (really nice apartment) and she has a little puppy, I fucking love dogs so big win. The puppy is going nuts jumping off walls and moving like a dragon ball z character teleporting everywhere, but it’s cool I love dogs, I play with him a bit. So after chilling on her sofa and drinking some wine we’re getting cozy and things lead to her bed.

So we’re making out and the dog is in her room going fucking nuts, trying to jump on the bed. I get weirded out, and ask her if I can put the dog in the hallway/kitchen area. She says no, that he has abandonment issues and he won’t be able to jump on the bed. This really weirds me out, but her house her rules, so we progressively do more shit to the point we’re doing it.

This whole time the dog is jumping up and down trying to reach the bed. Low and behold while we’re fucking this dog levels up, and gains that extra 1 inch jump ability to finally make it on the bed, and it goes straight to licking my balls. I fucking freak out, reflexively grab the puppy and throw him off the bed, and I ask her please can we put the puppy in the kitchen. She says no, that he won’t get up on again, that it was chance. But yeah this time the dog knows it can get up, so within a minute or two he jumps up again and goes right for my balls. Again I grab him and throw him off, and this happens like once more until I just stop.

She wanted to cuddle but I tell her I have to leave, I was traumatized, I couldn’t look at her puppy while leaving due to pure shame, and I still feel shame for having that happened to me.