Post 999 guys
So many awkward moments in this story. It's pretty long but pretty funny. Read if you want.
I was in Byron Bay and this one Australian friend of mine invited me to come up to Surfer's Paradise with him for a couple days. He was going to stay with some friends of his that he grew up with. So we get up there...and three of his friends all live in the same apartment complex. One upstairs with his girlfriend, the other two downstairs. Just after we got there, and whole bunch of their friends showed up and basically the night turned into this kinda mini high school reunion for all these Australian dudes that all grew up together. There was like 10 of them and I was the odd guy out. Already kind of a socially awkward situation.
They were pretty rad guys though, and we all started getting drunk so it was alright. One last dude shows up with this girl. She was like the only girl there, and the way she was standing with the dude, I just assumed she was his girlfriend. She's pretty good looking but I figure she's taken...no chance.
So we're all pretty drunk at this point...and we decide to go out. It was a looooooong hilarious pretty rad night (Australians party fucking hard) so basically we went a bunch of places and caused a ruckus all night long. The bars all closed at 4 am and we all start walking home. At this point I've said no more than like 3 sentences to this girl. But as we're walking back, she stays right beside me, letting the dude she came with get in front of us a bit. Turns out she's his SISTER not girlfriend. So better chances, but we're still hanging out with her older brother and all his friends.
We get back to the apartment, and everyone decides they're gonna go visit their neighbor a few blocks away and smoke some weed. I don't really smoke weed so I'm like, "I'll just stay here." She's like, "Yeah...I'm staying here too." So everyone leaves but me and her. The door was shut for less than 5 seconds and she has me on the floor making out with me. She starts rubbing my dick and shit. At this point, I'd only fucked 2 girls in my life and my mind was blown that this all happened with virtually no work on my part. So I start reaching into her pants...when all the sudden we hear a different chick's voice coming from the bedroom.
"WHO THE FUCK IS OUT THERE? I CAN HEAR YOU! I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY APARTMENT??"
It's the that other dude's girlfriend (who turned out to be a huuuuge bitch and was not hanging out with us at all that night). AWWWWWKWAAAARD!! We get up as fast and quiet as we can and get the fuck out of there. So we go downstairs to other friend's apartment. No one there. There's an air mattress in the main room, and we got right down to business. Except she was wearing this fucking corset thing with a million buttons. I tried for like 3 minutes to take it off, and she's basically just laughing at me. She finally takes off her own clothes...I throw on a condom...and boom...GETTING LAID!! I was stoked. A little too stoked actually. This was my first time in so long and lets just say I put up a disappointing performance. More awkwardness.
I tossed the condom in the garbage and just pulled on my pants when the door swings open and in piles 10 more dudes...including her older brother. I CANNOT FIND THE DAMN CONDOM WRAPPER!! Everyone is drunk though and passes out shortly, including me.
I wake up to a hand job...surrounded by a bunch of large Australian guys...one of whom is her older brother. I'm stressin, but no one seems to notice. Everyone wakes up and we're all just hanging out talking about the night before. Then someone finds the missing condom wrapper. I think I'm dead. But everyone starts bugging the dude who lives there, thinking it must be a left over from some other time. I'm safe. Until my only friend there, the guy who invited me, is like "Hey...let me see that." They pass him the wrapper. He takes a look at it, smiles at me, and says, "Hmmmm...we don't have this brand of condoms in Australia."
I made it out alive. In fact, all the dudes (minus her brother) were fucking stoked on me and a few of them became good friends. But it was a VERY AWKWARD afternoon hanging out with her AND her brother all day long.