Awkward Sexual Experiences

[jgonzalez]

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Any stories from this cuffing season?

Myself, no luck. Maybe some tales will alleviate the maladie of dryness

[pugmaster]

Bump

Any stories from this cuffing season?

Myself, no luck. Maybe some tales will alleviate the maladie of dryness

I had my fist inside of a turkey yesterday, if that counts

[FUBAR]

Expand Quote

Bump

Any stories from this cuffing season?

Myself, no luck. Maybe some tales will alleviate the maladie of dryness

[close]

I had my fist inside of a turkey yesterday, if that counts

I’ll allow it.

[behavioralguide]

As a teen, first time I bought condoms at the grocery store;
 This hot(-ish) girl clerk who was selling them from behind the counter - they have to keep them there so all the awkward teens (like meself) don't just pocket them - , asked me if I wanted them large or small.
I mumbled, asking if she also had like a medium or something in between.
She didn't really get what I was saying so I had to repeat my question; she then explained they only had 24 or 6 packs and how big of a pack I wanted.
I don't think she understood/noticed my confusion/relief/pain

[RoaryMcTwang]

As a teen, first time I bought condoms at the grocery store;
 This hot(-ish) girl clerk who was selling them from behind the counter - they have to keep them there so all the awkward teens (like meself) don't just pocket them - , asked me if I wanted them large or small.
I mumbled, asking if she also had like a medium or something in between.
She didn't really get what I was saying so I had to repeat my question; she then explained they only had 24 or 6 packs and how big of a pack I wanted.
I don't think she understood/noticed my confusion/relief/pain

This is adorable!

[9inchdeck]

I was having sex with this girl one time doggy style on her couch. I pulled out and came on her butt cheek and went to get a towel to wipe it off. After I walked away, her dog jumped up onto the couch and started licking the cum off her ass. She started screaming “Oh my god ew!!” So I ran over and had to push the dog off the couch to get him to stop. I think we only hung out like one more time afterwards

[ok boomer]

Wonder if she nicknamed you “doggy cummer “

[ok boomer]

I have a lot of heinous stories. A little buzzed right now so I’ll hit you with a quick one.

Had my girlfriend over in high school. My basement had a separate entrance so I used to sneak her in regularly. For whatever reason my dad ends up coming home, hears me watching portlandia in the basement, grabs a bowl of cereal and heads down to check up on me. I’m panicking telling her to hide somewhere. She can’t find a spot so I throw her a blanket and she gets like next to the couch and hides under the blanket on all fours, trying to get super small and lean up against the back of the couch. My asshole dad sees her, I see him crack a little smile, goes “oh this is portlandia, sick” and watches two full fucking episodes with me while this poor girl is huddled up trying to be quiet.

Lol. I can’t wait to do this to my son now