The Losing Weight Thread

[jack burton]

last december i had mono and that seemed to work pretty well. id recommend that. either that or a tape worm.

[WWD4D?]

I've always been one of those people who could eat whatever the fuck they want, as much as they want and never gain a pound. I'm sure when I get older that's gonna change though.

[popeyesfriedchicken]

listening to fat people tell other fatties how to lose weight is one of the funniest things ever.  i've been skinny my whole life, but i've lived with lots of fat retards so i know exactly what you all do.  being fat doesn't mean you're dumb, it just means you're parents are dumb and they fucked you up.

this is how not to be a fatass:

1) drink water - stop drinking soda/diet soda/weird sugar free energy drinks/gross sugary fake iced tea/all that bullshit.  where do you fat fucks even find this shit?  it's disgusting and gives you cancer.  if you're craving sugar, drink fruit juice or eat a piece of fruit you stupid fat whore.  also, if you think vitamin water is good for you b/c it has the word "vitamin" in it, then just give up now.  stop reading.  you're going to be fat forever b/c you're way to regular to ever be helped.

2) eat a piece of fruit or a vegetable with every meal - you may be confused right now.  fruit ≠ sour skittles, twizzlers, gummy bears, or cherry coke.  when you eat a grapefruit w/ your eggs in the morning, then later in the day you don't crave all that sugary bullshit you're always cramming down your disgusting throat.  when you make a sandwich, put some mixed greens or spinach on it or eat some baby carrots on the side or have some tomato soup, etc.  and no, iceberg lettuce is not food.  stop eating it, idiot.  this shit is not that hard.  when you make dinner, eat some broccoli or asparagus or any vegetable.  it's fucking delicious.  you just don't know how to cook it b/c you're fat parents screwed you.

3) learn how to cook - it's very easy and tastes a million times better than the disgusting garbage you're eating right now.  you're literally eating shit right now.  stop.  you're disgusting.  put down the mountain dew and ps3 controller and take some time to prepare a meal.

4) snacks - here are the snacks you're allowed: mini carrots, apple w/ almonds or peanut butter (and make it real peanut butter).  i know you fat fucks will take any chance you can to fuck this up by eating skippy or some other faggot shit.  i know all your tricks.  other acceptable snacks include: beef jerky, cheese slices (REAL cheese, dumbfuck.  american cheese = plastic), any nuts, bean burrito, tuna fish and crackers, etc.  basically anything that's REAL FOOD. 

5) eat real food - this is definitely the most important overriding element.  fat people have the most insane ability to always choose the most crazily processed crap ever.  all these crackers and chips, and fake cheese and fake peanut butter, fake lettuce, fake mayonaise, fake butter (margerine), fake everything.  STOP.  this also includes anything w/ a "diet," "reduced fat," "low fat," or anything like that in front of it (w/ the one exception of maybe milk).  see, when you drink water and eat real food regularly, then the deserts you eat and everything else can actually be real.  it doesn't have to be some fake half ass disgusting low fat bullshit that leaves you unfulfilled and scarfing down everything in sight afterwards.

i could go on but i know you fat morons won't even follow the simple advice i've just given, so i'm just going to stop now.

you're a jackass.  i'm not fat but i was used to being a skinny mother fucker my whole life.  definitely gave me a lot more confidence with the ladies.  now i'm about 5'10", 175-180 pounds, not comfortable with it.  all i do is yardwork for money, literally 2 to 3 hours a day of it minimum.  some of it is the equivalent of heavy weight lifting (shoveling and moving wheelbarrows of it for hours at a time).  i eat a third of what i used to when i was skinny.  hardly ever drink soda.  and i can't lose an ounce.  if you talked this shit to someone like me to their face our chubby fists would knock your teeth out.  there will come a day when you can't sit on your ass and enjoy being skinny when your metabolism decides to shit on itself.  with your attitude i hope it comes soon, because i definitely bet i eat healthier than you and am a lot more active. 

[Commercial D]

I've always been one of those people who could eat whatever the fuck they want, as much as they want and never gain a pound. I'm sure when I get older that's gonna change though.

Guaranteed. When I think of my binges in high school—my most remarkable achievment: 13 slices at a Pizza Hut buffet—I don't know how it took me until 30 to hit 200 lbs.

But it's not hard to reverse. Today I'm wearing a leather belt I bought when I was 18, on the center notch where it's never in my life sat comfortably.

[popeyesfriedchicken]

Expand Quote

I've always been one of those people who could eat whatever the fuck they want, as much as they want and never gain a pound. I'm sure when I get older that's gonna change though.

[close]

Guaranteed. When I think of my binges in high school—my most remarkable achievment: 13 slices at a Pizza Hut buffet—I don't know how it took me until 30 to hit 200 lbs.

But it's not hard to reverse. Today I'm wearing a leather belt I bought when I was 18, on the center notch where it's never in my life sat comfortably.

when i was 12 and had the craziest metabolism known to mankind i ate 28 slices at a cici's buffet...  over a two hour period.  including crust. 

[kevbo999]

My folks are supposed to bring me up a blender this weekend, stoked to get on a smoothie kick.  I mostly eat meat and potatoes either panfried or baked in canola oil.  It's the beer that's packing the pounds on though.  Gotta start brewing some herbal hooch.

[skate_bored]

drink water all day, switch to whiskey or vodka at night. eat smaller portions more often and NEVER skip breakfast.

[Prison Wallet]

if you talked this shit to someone like me to their face our chubby fists would knock your teeth out. 

Hahaha. Fat kids talking shit on the internet.

[blankbutbranded]

I've gain fucka weight...i'm 6'1 and i'm 185 pounds of fat fuck even if i dont look that fat at all i need to step ma game up to reduce it and lose 10 pounds...so this thread appeal me.

So the thing is,you need to stop looking at yourself in the mirror and shiaots...you need to step your self confidence game uop...swim on some lake and try to over played your slappy 50-50 backside 180 out like point your fucka face in the wrong direction when you land and twist that fat shit...look at Jason Dill gee when he landed that 180 out on a roll-to-grind he twist those foot and point the shit up like a ballerina...no need to homo up just try to shape around but goofying shits...like jump over planters and run for no reasons...over react when you talk to someone,like use your fucking face to interpret words and feelings and your fat fuck face will become slimmer...Look at Jim Carrey,do like that.

And avoid sniffin those fuck fake Burger Wingy,McDonalds and those retards are only good when you feel great in life...Try to eat some vegetable game again its fucka good with a trampette (find some hummus gee nothing else,its good as hell,just combo up)...its a fucking meal if you can reduce a side meal with vegetables like a quarter of a chicken pie no need to ketchup up too.

drink homebwayemade limonade,no sugar adding like a little USA bungalow kiddo (see Fred Savage how lame he is now,avoid being recluse,go to India and swim in the ocean)...so,if you want a sugar shit just make some smoothies with fresh cherries,an egg,milkybwaye and bananas for break fast and if you can skip lunch just do it by eating some fucking nuts...
avoid jujubes.
avoid chips just hook up with some bags of roasted plantin from Haitian mob necca wun.
Go to a concert and drink too much and skip 2 meals...repeat every week end,make new friends and shit too...stimulate your dreams,skip schools too...rebel up to not think about food but to find solutions about this fucking society we live blindly in.

try to hook up a girl and do love...(best meal ever...just dont stress about it,take your time...doing love its not like fucking)

edit : im just 'bout to cook 4 hot dogs now...roasted,mustard ketchup,nothing else...watching TV too.

[camel filters]

I've gain fucka weight...i'm 6'1 and i'm 185 pounds of fat fuck even if i dont look that fat at all i need to step ma game up to reduce it and lose 10 pounds...so this thread appeal me.

So the thing is,you need to stop looking at yourself in the mirror and shiaots...you need to step your self confidence game uop...swim on some lake and try to over played your slappy 50-50 backside 180 out like point your fucka face in the wrong direction when you land and twist that fat shit...look at Jason Dill gee when he landed that 180 out on a roll-to-grind he twist those foot and point the shit up like a ballerina...no need to homo up just try to shape around but goofying shits...like jump over planters and run for no reasons...over react when you talk to someone,like use your fucking face to interpret words and feelings and your fat fuck face will become slimmer...Look at Jim Carrey,do like that.

And avoid sniffin those fuck fake Burger Wingy,McDonalds and those retards are only good when you feel great in life...Try to eat some vegetable game again its fucka good with a trampette (find some hummus gee nothing else,its good as hell,just combo up)...its a fucking meal if you can reduce a side meal with vegetables like a quarter of a chicken pie no need to ketchup up too.

drink homebwayemade limonade,no sugar adding like a little USA bungalow kiddo (see Fred Savage how lame he is now,avoid being recluse,go to India and swim in the ocean)...so,if you want a sugar shit just make some smoothies with fresh cherries,an egg,milkybwaye and bananas for break fast and if you can skip lunch just do it by eating some fucking nuts...
avoid jujubes.
avoid chips just hook up with some bags of roasted plantin from Haitian mob necca wun.
Go to a concert and drink too much and skip 2 meals...repeat every week end,make new friends and shit too...stimulate your dreams,skip schools too...rebel up to not think about food but to find solutions about this fucking society we live blindly in.

try to hook up a girl and do love...(best meal ever...just dont stress about it,take your time...doing love its not like fucking)

edit : im just 'bout to cook 4 hot dogs now...roasted,mustard ketchup,nothing else...watching TV too.

whoa im not sure i got everything you just said but it was awesome.

[ROCKxADIO420]

milkybwaye

[Watson]

Duuuuuuuuuuuuude are you fucking kidding me?! No one's commented on this yet? First you make a thread asking how Chris turned from an RDS jock dude into some raw food hippy, then you go and turn into some raw jock body builder dude posting a picture of your hawt bod while at the same time talking about how good the raw food diet is? What the fuck dude?! AND to top it all off you post the picture of yourself with the comment "How did I do it? Let me tell you!" Goddamn dude, you need your own fucking infommerical! "Getting Ripped With Sexy D!"

Damn dude, what's Slap come to when some dude can post before and after pictures of himself that he posed for with a fucking sock in his sexy undies where he's all ripped and jocked out and his nipples cast a fucking shadow and NO ONE MAKES FUN OF HIM?!

Fuck dude. Good job on losing the weight for real. But posting those pictures sort of just proves what a fucking douchebag you are.

Second hand embarrassment to the fucking MAXIMUM, Dallas!

[crunk juice]

Expand Quote

listening to fat people tell other fatties how to lose weight is one of the funniest things ever.  i've been skinny my whole life, but i've lived with lots of fat retards so i know exactly what you all do.  being fat doesn't mean you're dumb, it just means you're parents are dumb and they fucked you up.

this is how not to be a fatass:

1) drink water - stop drinking soda/diet soda/weird sugar free energy drinks/gross sugary fake iced tea/all that bullshit.  where do you fat fucks even find this shit?  it's disgusting and gives you cancer.  if you're craving sugar, drink fruit juice or eat a piece of fruit you stupid fat whore.  also, if you think vitamin water is good for you b/c it has the word "vitamin" in it, then just give up now.  stop reading.  you're going to be fat forever b/c you're way to regular to ever be helped.

2) eat a piece of fruit or a vegetable with every meal - you may be confused right now.  fruit ≠ sour skittles, twizzlers, gummy bears, or cherry coke.  when you eat a grapefruit w/ your eggs in the morning, then later in the day you don't crave all that sugary bullshit you're always cramming down your disgusting throat.  when you make a sandwich, put some mixed greens or spinach on it or eat some baby carrots on the side or have some tomato soup, etc.  and no, iceberg lettuce is not food.  stop eating it, idiot.  this shit is not that hard.  when you make dinner, eat some broccoli or asparagus or any vegetable.  it's fucking delicious.  you just don't know how to cook it b/c you're fat parents screwed you.

3) learn how to cook - it's very easy and tastes a million times better than the disgusting garbage you're eating right now.  you're literally eating shit right now.  stop.  you're disgusting.  put down the mountain dew and ps3 controller and take some time to prepare a meal.

4) snacks - here are the snacks you're allowed: mini carrots, apple w/ almonds or peanut butter (and make it real peanut butter).  i know you fat fucks will take any chance you can to fuck this up by eating skippy or some other faggot shit.  i know all your tricks.  other acceptable snacks include: beef jerky, cheese slices (REAL cheese, dumbfuck.  american cheese = plastic), any nuts, bean burrito, tuna fish and crackers, etc.  basically anything that's REAL FOOD. 

5) eat real food - this is definitely the most important overriding element.  fat people have the most insane ability to always choose the most crazily processed crap ever.  all these crackers and chips, and fake cheese and fake peanut butter, fake lettuce, fake mayonaise, fake butter (margerine), fake everything.  STOP.  this also includes anything w/ a "diet," "reduced fat," "low fat," or anything like that in front of it (w/ the one exception of maybe milk).  see, when you drink water and eat real food regularly, then the deserts you eat and everything else can actually be real.  it doesn't have to be some fake half ass disgusting low fat bullshit that leaves you unfulfilled and scarfing down everything in sight afterwards.

i could go on but i know you fat morons won't even follow the simple advice i've just given, so i'm just going to stop now.

[close]

you're a jackass.  i'm not fat but i was used to being a skinny mother fucker my whole life.  definitely gave me a lot more confidence with the ladies.  now i'm about 5'10", 175-180 pounds, not comfortable with it.  all i do is yardwork for money, literally 2 to 3 hours a day of it minimum.  some of it is the equivalent of heavy weight lifting (shoveling and moving wheelbarrows of it for hours at a time).  i eat a third of what i used to when i was skinny.  hardly ever drink soda.  and i can't lose an ounce.  if you talked this shit to someone like me to their face our chubby fists would knock your teeth out.  there will come a day when you can't sit on your ass and enjoy being skinny when your metabolism decides to shit on itself.  with your attitude i hope it comes soon, because i definitely bet i eat healthier than you and am a lot more active. 

am i hallucinating or did someone called popeyesfreidchicken just tell me their diet was healthy?

commercial d, i'm pretty sure you'd creep jeffrey dahmer out.

[Bantam]

I'm backin what Watson said.  He didn't come out of post retirement for nothing.

[Prison Wallet]

How'd I miss those Dallas pictures first time around? WTF??

Love the facial expressions. Before: "Fuck I'm fat." After: "You know you want this"

[everypennyfedcar]

Expand Quote

[close]

Duuuuuuuuuuuuude are you fucking kidding me?! No one's commented on this yet? First you make a thread asking how Chris turned from an RDS jock dude into some raw food hippy, then you go and turn into some raw jock body builder dude posting a picture of your hawt bod while at the same time talking about how good the raw food diet is? What the fuck dude?! AND to top it all off you post the picture of yourself with the comment "How did I do it? Let me tell you!" Goddamn dude, you need your own fucking infommerical! "Getting Ripped With Sexy D!"

Damn dude, what's Slap come to when some dude can post before and after pictures of himself that he posed for with a fucking sock in his sexy undies where he's all ripped and jocked out and his nipples cast a fucking shadow and NO ONE MAKES FUN OF HIM?!

Fuck dude. Good job on losing the weight for real. But posting those pictures sort of just proves what a fucking douchebag you are.

Second hand embarrassment to the fucking MAXIMUM, Dallas!

You can change your body all you want, but you will always look like a predator.

[Flume]

planning on losing 10-15 pounds this summer

[Prison Wallet]

Hey D where do you even get undies like those?

[floop]

if i stopped drinking beer i would be a skeleton

[Commercial D]

Expand Quote

[close]

Duuuuuuuuuuuuude are you fucking kidding me?! No one's commented on this yet? First you make a thread asking how Chris turned from an RDS jock dude into some raw food hippy, then you go and turn into some raw jock body builder dude posting a picture of your hawt bod while at the same time talking about how good the raw food diet is? What the fuck dude?! AND to top it all off you post the picture of yourself with the comment "How did I do it? Let me tell you!" Goddamn dude, you need your own fucking infommerical! "Getting Ripped With Sexy D!"

Damn dude, what's Slap come to when some dude can post before and after pictures of himself that he posed for with a fucking sock in his sexy undies where he's all ripped and jocked out and his nipples cast a fucking shadow and NO ONE MAKES FUN OF HIM?!

Fuck dude. Good job on losing the weight for real. But posting those pictures sort of just proves what a fucking douchebag you are.

Second hand embarrassment to the fucking MAXIMUM, Dallas!

I'm just sharing documentation of my accomplishment for the benefit of the OP and any other Pals who want to slim down. I could say "oh I lost 35 lbs. eating raw food" but the before/after photo juxtaposition tells a better story. I'm not a jock in the least—I don't follow any sports at all. I began strength training because I was a fatass and a weakass and lifting weights was the simplest way to fix both problems. The best part is that this has helped my skating so much to the point where I can do stuff that seemed impossible months ago.

Like tonight, I went to this bank...



to do a backside carve/wallride. Now I realize anyone with half-decent tranny skills can do this first try but that isn't me. But I went there a couple times last year to try it, got served, and gave up. Tonight I got it, and after the first landing they just kept coming. Regardless of how much I suck, I'm still amped to be hitting up personal NBDs at my age.

So yeah I know the torso comparison is pretty gay but I don't care, roast me all you want, no shame in my game—I think it's funny.

[Commercial D]

Hey D where do you even get undies like those?

They're beach trunks from H&M.

[Prison Wallet]

Beach trunks huh.

[GnarlesManson]

im like 5'10 and weight around 140. im pretty sure its because i dont really drink or eat meat, and my main transportation is my skateboard and bike.

[Watson]

Expand Quote

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[close]

Duuuuuuuuuuuuude are you fucking kidding me?! No one's commented on this yet? First you make a thread asking how Chris turned from an RDS jock dude into some raw food hippy, then you go and turn into some raw jock body builder dude posting a picture of your hawt bod while at the same time talking about how good the raw food diet is? What the fuck dude?! AND to top it all off you post the picture of yourself with the comment "How did I do it? Let me tell you!" Goddamn dude, you need your own fucking infommerical! "Getting Ripped With Sexy D!"

Damn dude, what's Slap come to when some dude can post before and after pictures of himself that he posed for with a fucking sock in his sexy undies where he's all ripped and jocked out and his nipples cast a fucking shadow and NO ONE MAKES FUN OF HIM?!

Fuck dude. Good job on losing the weight for real. But posting those pictures sort of just proves what a fucking douchebag you are.

Second hand embarrassment to the fucking MAXIMUM, Dallas!

[close]

The best part is that this has helped my skating so much to the point where I can do stuff that seemed impossible months ago.

So... what? You can 180 a can now and not run like a sissy?

Dude, look at the fuckin pictures. No justification. You're posting pictures of yourself in sexy underwear with a sock stuffed in your crotch on the internet. ON A SKATEBOARDING FORUM! It has nothing to do with "juxtaposition". You're not posting those pictures to help other Slap Pals who want to lose weight. If you wanted to do that you could have just stated your starting weight and ending weight. No, you took a frumpy before photo and a ~~~HaWt n' SeXy~~ after photo to show of your sXe bawd and your situation of a six pack.

Total jock shit there Sexy D.

[Commercial D]

U mad Watson? Put down the 40oz. and try eating some raw fruit if you wanna ditch that over-30 beer gut. I don't see you talking trash when Kendall posts up video blogs of his shirtless playground pull-ups. Don't hate a guy for revealing the fruits [pun intended] of his labor.

This might be a skateboard forum, but you can't say my before/after pics aren't 100% on topic. If I had started a thread with those pictures, that would be another matter altogether, and you'd be justified in calling out my douchieness, but since this thread was already underway I thought I'd chime in with my experience—best illustrated with specific pictures rather than vague words. It's not even like I'm in a Speedo or anything—they're traditional men's swim trunks, stuffed with nothing more than my package, upon which you seem to have a concerningly homoerotic fixation.

And for the last time, those TV producers cut every make and kept every bail. Not that my skating's anything to brag about, but if I beat you in S-K-A-T-E maybe you'll shut the fuck up.

[nice weather]

I am 1000% backing Sex D. How idoes posting that picture of his ripped abs and shadow throwing speedo crotch make him a douchebag?
He didn't start the thread!
Hell, I've got the sickest line up of pictures of my clean shaved asshole, but I'm waiting for someone to start a thread about gooch hygiene first too.

[Alan]

He's not kidding either.

[weedpop]

I came for the fun-making of Dallas Hansen

but I stayed for the weight loss tips...

[nice weather]

He's not kidding either.

I like how we have this back to back posting thing going on now.

[Moist]

I guess I am one of the lucky ones on here with a high metabolism. I eat alot at work but I pack my own lunch and it is generally healthy stuff. But on the weekends I drink alot of beer and alot of greasy food and I can never put on weight.