Author Topic: Pick-Up Artistry  (Read 65541 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Donkey Lips

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 8471
  • Rep: 1019
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #60 on: September 27, 2010, 09:29:19 AM »
Needing a book to learn how to pick up chicks is stupid. Having 'making out' as your motivation is stupid. Making out is wasting time. A precursor to fucking. That's like saying your end goal is unwrapping a delicious sandwich. Fuck the delicious sandwich.

H8R part 4

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 5070
  • Rep: -301
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #61 on: September 27, 2010, 10:47:48 AM »
don't run out of shit to talk about and make them laugh.
no one needs a book to figure this out. 

FrenchFriedClownFingers

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 799
  • Rep: 117
  • evensteven
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #62 on: September 27, 2010, 12:10:30 PM »
You suck. You are shit. Your head is so crammed with garbage that you have no idea. You posted twink porn of yourself on a public forum. And now you're in here endorsing dating techniques practiced by this idiot:



You sir, are a rare combination of douchiness. I salute you!

Damn
even the steven

sametelt

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 607
  • Rep: 17
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #63 on: September 27, 2010, 02:06:13 PM »
I love slap.

Commercial D

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2347
  • Rep: -670
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #64 on: September 27, 2010, 05:00:54 PM »
Needing a book to learn how to pick up chicks is stupid. Having 'making out' as your motivation is stupid. Making out is wasting time. A precursor to fucking. That's like saying your end goal is unwrapping a delicious sandwich. Fuck the delicious sandwich.

I agree. I didn't get past making out in the car because right when I was about to seal the deal a newspaper delivery van pulled up across the street beaming through the windshield which was a total cock block.
Skate videos have been downhill ever since 411VM #20

sven thorkel

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2032
  • Rep: 476
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
    Bronze Topic Start Bronze Topic Start : Start a topic with over 1,000 replies.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #65 on: September 27, 2010, 07:33:15 PM »
so you were pretty much a deer caught in headlights, Ahhhh huck chuck huck a luck
"Front row tickets to a bomb ass play"

Quote from: PonyFAP
I don't know where you get your facts. The first generation of My Little Ponies were made by Hasbro, not the Khmer Rouge. And Hasbro hasn't made toys out of human skulls since the 1960's.

Tom Penny says: My 'ed systems!

Bobby Peru

  • Mods
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 4154
  • Rep: 615
    • Community Push avatar image
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
    Bronze Topic Start Bronze Topic Start : Start a topic with over 1,000 replies.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #66 on: September 27, 2010, 09:47:23 PM »
Dress up in a suit, visit the girl at work and present her with a Fossil watch.

That didn't work at all. You have to coax other women into fighting her, then tell her she looks like Rob Kardashian.

The worst in Commercial D brings out the best in everybody else. Thanks for the thread, guys.

layzieyez

  • Mods
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 9904
  • Rep: 1474
  • Illusion Flip
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #67 on: September 27, 2010, 09:59:43 PM »
Expand Quote
Needing a book to learn how to pick up chicks is stupid. Having 'making out' as your motivation is stupid. Making out is wasting time. A precursor to fucking. That's like saying your end goal is unwrapping a delicious sandwich. Fuck the delicious sandwich.
[close]

I agree. I didn't get past making out in the car because right when I was about to seal the deal a newspaper delivery van pulled up across the street beaming through the windshield which was a total cock block.
Holy shit!  You mean light can fuck up your game?  What the fuck happened, she got a good look at your face?  Next thing you know you're going to tell us how you're macking all the hot blind girls in your area.

bentmode

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 6925
  • Rep: 211
  • Da$h
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #68 on: September 27, 2010, 10:00:52 PM »
free pdfs!?!?

Total hunky abdominal make over!?!?!?

Dallas, have you been in prison?
Han solo blew up the Death Star in Episode 4.  Heard it from a friend.  Reliable source.

Ronald Wilson Reagan

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 24537
  • Rep: -937
  • I own Malibu? I am going to fuck you.
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #69 on: September 27, 2010, 11:15:11 PM »
Expand Quote
Needing a book to learn how to pick up chicks is stupid. Having 'making out' as your motivation is stupid. Making out is wasting time. A precursor to fucking. That's like saying your end goal is unwrapping a delicious sandwich. Fuck the delicious sandwich.
[close]

I agree. I didn't get past making out in the car because right when I was about to seal the deal a newspaper delivery van pulled up across the street beaming through the windshield which was a total cock block.
what? I don't even get it. Were you planning on fucking in the car? I mean, couldn't that just be a cue to take it on inside? Have you gotten to that chapter?
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

Donkey Lips

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 8471
  • Rep: 1019
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #70 on: September 28, 2010, 05:12:44 AM »
Expand Quote
Needing a book to learn how to pick up chicks is stupid. Having 'making out' as your motivation is stupid. Making out is wasting time. A precursor to fucking. That's like saying your end goal is unwrapping a delicious sandwich. Fuck the delicious sandwich.
[close]

I agree. I didn't get past making out in the car because right when I was about to seal the deal a newspaper delivery van pulled up across the street beaming through the windshield which was a total cock block.
I would use this situation to my advantage. Light up the target. Let the newspaper delivery watch the magic unfold. They can choose to stay or leave, but it's fucking happening either way.

rawbertson.

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 8870
  • Rep: 651
  • yo yo, yo yo yo yo
    • my youtube avatar image
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
  • User is on moderator watch listWatched
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #71 on: September 28, 2010, 06:47:52 AM »
back seat fucking aint that good anyway
ONTARIO CANADA

Narcissus

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 3061
  • Rep: 301
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #72 on: September 28, 2010, 09:42:03 AM »
The trick to picking up girls is grilled cheese. If you stock your fridge with nothing else, make sure you've got some cheese and some bread. Then, when you're out at the club, bar or seasonal pumpkin festival and you come across some fine young women that you want to seduce, just approach them and talk casually while steering the conversation to the topic of grilled cheese. Invite them over for some grilled cheese sandwiches. I guarantee they will come home and have sex with you. Guarantee.

Holy shit. We have discovered the same kernel of truth! In all absolute seriousness, I have employed this tactic time and again with near-perfect effectiveness. You get yourself some whole wheat and a decent cheddar and you hold the key to a veritable fount of moist vagina.
i saw my grandma bail off a 4 set once in my house and she even got up and came to red lobster after.
Quote from: The Kitten!
get wasted and pass out.

rawbertson.

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 8870
  • Rep: 651
  • yo yo, yo yo yo yo
    • my youtube avatar image
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
  • User is on moderator watch listWatched
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #73 on: September 28, 2010, 11:07:35 AM »
pussy fountain'd be tite
ONTARIO CANADA

DOOMERSANDSKULLS

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 118
  • Rep: -28
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #74 on: December 11, 2010, 02:23:00 AM »
Expand Quote
wow, Dallas, you are a huge douche, but you make slap so awsome with these threads.
just ask a girl if she is aware of the benifits of raw foods, if she doesn't know, show em whats up, and you should be good, why even start a thread?
[close]

"you know the benefits or raw foods?"

"no, what are they?"

"only one way to find out," then you jam her mouth down on your raw dick




works every time, thank me later
MAN this thread is killing me and my game       dallas what should i do if a girl is a 10 but she all into  conspiracies  and raw foods?           

bakingsoda

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1468
  • Rep: 20
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #75 on: December 11, 2010, 03:05:43 AM »
Fuck you DOOMERSANDSKULLS. You suck, stop posting shitty youtube videos that aren't funny in things that made you laugh today, stop bumping old threads.

Stop posting or close your account, you suck.

essal

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1678
  • Rep: 80
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #76 on: December 11, 2010, 08:33:14 AM »
Pro tip: Don't look or act like a fucking bum or hippie. Unless you want to score a bum or a hippie.

A couple of friends read The Game, and guess what, in some magic way they turned all into some jersey shore like monsters who got so pissed if a girl didn't want to eat their dick within 5 minutes of them meeting... They all put that crap away after realizing what they were doing...

DOOMERSANDSKULLS

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 118
  • Rep: -28
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #77 on: December 12, 2010, 01:48:49 AM »
Fuck you DOOMERSANDSKULLS. You suck, stop posting shitty youtube videos that aren't funny in things that made you laugh today, stop bumping old threads.

Stop posting or close your account, you suck.
whaasa  sorry got here from the tramp stamp thread

Expand Quote
This thread perfectly illustrates why inked chicks are unboneable.
[close]

And this thread perfectly illustrates that you don't have many choices, and should just take whatever's handed to you.
but ya  i cant explain my shitty posts ...oh wait I SUCK dam this is crazy  I'm learning all the time   knowledge is power   
     MY BAD

sk8nappreciate

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 439
  • Rep: -21
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
    Bronze Topic Start Bronze Topic Start : Start a topic with over 1,000 replies.
    Silver Topic Start Silver Topic Start : Start a topic with over 5,000 replies.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #78 on: December 12, 2010, 04:14:34 AM »
Commercial D seems like a pretty cool guy... He reads books, slays bitches, and doesn't afraid of anything.
That's real life bro, no sticking lollipops up your ass and licking jesus's butthole man. People are getting raped,murdered and visiting the berrics daily. Deal with it.

Diogenes

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 191
  • Rep: 10
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #79 on: December 12, 2010, 06:40:05 AM »

I rarely contribute to slap discussions, but I feel obliged to in this case.


1. That gif. is hilarious.
2. Commercial D., your a person.




I have nothing to ask but that you would remove to the other side, that you may not, by intercepting the sunshine, take from me what you cannot give?

-Diogenes 412 BC-323 BC
 
Upon being told by Alexander The Great if there were anything in the world he wished for, he could have it.

busey

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 5759
  • Rep: 1284
  • i can't it's a geo!
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #80 on: March 05, 2013, 07:27:20 AM »
mod request: move to classic slap

every page is gold.
I rolled my ankle jacking off on a ladder.

Generik

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 90
  • Rep: 2
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #81 on: March 05, 2013, 07:52:33 AM »
Ⓐ☭Ⓐ☭Ⓐ

Bobby Peru

  • Mods
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 4154
  • Rep: 615
    • Community Push avatar image
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
    Bronze Topic Start Bronze Topic Start : Start a topic with over 1,000 replies.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #82 on: March 05, 2013, 03:49:06 PM »
mod request: move to classic slap

every page is gold.

Request granted

pica

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 3184
  • Rep: -36
  • Bronze Topic Start Bronze Topic Start : Start a topic with over 1,000 replies.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #83 on: March 05, 2013, 04:34:28 PM »

otis shredding

  • Guest
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #84 on: March 05, 2013, 07:15:28 PM »
i watch a lot of porn, so I'm pretty sure i know how to seduce a woman, heres what I've learned:

1) stalk any woman of your choice, and then tell her you have a pizza to deliver, don't accept her saying "but i didn't order a pizza" for an answer (because you and i both know she's probably into you at this point), and then have your dick in the pizza box. simple as that

2) this next one may be a little hard to pull off depending on where you are, but I'm almost positive girls like it the most. when you see some fine lady eye fuck her until she looks back at you. once this happens she will think one of two things, a, you want to bone her, or b, your fucking regular. heres where the trick comes in to play, you should point to the bulge in your crotch indicating you have a boner, or even go full J-Lay and whip that shower serpent right out there in the open. i know this sounds risky but the last thing you want a hot babe to think your regular. after that just make a left and your at at pound town.

i don't know why you read a book about picking up chicks, my guess is you've been the one staring at chicks and making them think your regular... well at least you got your head on straight and posted a thread about it in slap because I'm confident i just dropped some knowledge on your ass

MuchasGracias

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1462
  • Rep: -140
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #85 on: March 06, 2013, 12:50:13 AM »
i watch a lot of porn, so I'm pretty sure i know how to seduce a woman, heres what I've learned:

1) stalk any woman of your choice, and then tell her you have a pizza to deliver, don't accept her saying "but i didn't order a pizza" for an answer (because you and i both know she's probably into you at this point), and then have your dick in the pizza box. simple as that

2) this next one may be a little hard to pull off depending on where you are, but I'm almost positive girls like it the most. when you see some fine lady eye fuck her until she looks back at you. once this happens she will think one of two things, a, you want to bone her, or b, your fucking regular. heres where the trick comes in to play, you should point to the bulge in your crotch indicating you have a boner, or even go full J-Lay and whip that shower serpent right out there in the open. i know this sounds risky but the last thing you want a hot babe to think your regular. after that just make a left and your at at pound town.

i don't know why you read a book about picking up chicks, my guess is you've been the one staring at chicks and making them think your regular... well at least you got your head on straight and posted a thread about it in slap because I'm confident i just dropped some knowledge on your ass

You didn't misspell any of your words this time, is it because you were writing about porn? You usually shorten your words, this thread is intriguing.

busey

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 5759
  • Rep: 1284
  • i can't it's a geo!
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #86 on: March 06, 2013, 11:39:18 AM »
booooom, 36 still got tricks. what !
I rolled my ankle jacking off on a ladder.

UgolinoTheSignificant

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 381
  • Rep: 15
  • fuck your ottoman.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #87 on: March 06, 2013, 11:43:38 AM »
Pro tip: Don't look or act like a fucking bum or hippie. Unless you want to score a bum or a hippie.

A couple of friends read The Game, and guess what, in some magic way they turned all into some jersey shore like monsters who got so pissed if a girl didn't want to eat their dick within 5 minutes of them meeting... They all put that crap away after realizing what they were doing...

if you falling for that insecurity-exacerbating, secret-trick promising, copy-writing bullshit, you're a fucking MARK.
You should never trust a man who claims he doesn't know about free internet porn.

GAY

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 15952
  • Rep: 3289
  • Those that SLAP, can't.
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #88 on: March 06, 2013, 03:18:42 PM »
Here are some of the best tricks I've honed over the years. Oh...and they will DEFINITELY work with girls too. Don't believe me? Try one out...you'll see.

1) Take a pencil and throw it down in front of her. Then go over, turn your back to her, and bend over at the waist real slow like to pick it up. When you reach the pencil stay in the bent over position and then turn your head and look her right in the eye. Bite on the pencil and wink at her with whichever eye is facing them. Then straighten up so fast you do a little hop and walk away. She'll be wet with intrigue.

2) Wear something really tight and stretchy to the gym and do dance moves in the mirror watching yourself. If you're listening to something funky sing along to it loudly. She'll think it's neat that there's a dude in a singlet so caught up in his exercise routine that he's oblivious to everyone...but her.

3) Surprise her by pulling your penis out and slapping her in the face with it. Although she might act dismayed, secretly she's excited by this display of power and playfulness. Don't be surprised if you're nutting in her by noon.

4) Buy her something sexy like mouthwash, Midol or deodorant. Girls love gifts...why not make it something she can use? She'll appreciate the fact that you care.

5) Ask if she likes blowjobs.

Can't wait to hear how these work out on the ladies for you guys!

SheepShagger

  • Guest
Re: Pick-Up Artistry
« Reply #89 on: March 07, 2013, 09:56:43 AM »
My question is: do you ever feel bad the next morning when you wake up next to the girl and realize that you've just ruthlessly manipulated her hindbrain into sleeping with some looser who she has absolutely nothing in common with?


beta.