Author Topic: Physically Deformed Child Molester  (Read 8867 times)

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Des Esseintes

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Re: Physically Deformed Child Molester
« Reply #30 on: March 25, 2011, 04:16:26 AM »
What happened to the days when dudes like that would become super villians?

If he just wore a costume he could call himself 'Uncle Long Fingers' and earn a bit of respect.

Now he has to spend the rest of his time crawling round the air vents of prison giving all the mass murderers nightmares.

All because of a lack of imagination.

Des Esseintes

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Re: Physically Deformed Child Molester
« Reply #31 on: March 25, 2011, 05:09:29 AM »
Whoever he molested is fucked though.  There's no coming back from getting fingered by the offspring of Corky from the show Life Goes On and a melted candle.
It's difficult man. I've been thinking recently about how we can help the victims of these sort of crimes.

I think as a society we should club together and create something which puts his kiddy fiddling into some logical perspective for the poor child.

Maybe, and this is just a first draft, the molested child is visited in the night by a talking dragon that we've paid for. A friendly talking dragon. And the dragon tells the little lad that Uncle Long Fingers is an evil wizard who steals children's ears in order to maintain his power. And as the only child who has been able to resist his ear stealing magic, the dragon whisks the kid away into it's magical world in order to end the evil Potato heads reign of terror. Along the lines of a Neverending story type adventure.

It would probably cost alot of money but I think most people would be willing to cast a few quid aside for this cause.

Cthulhu!

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Re: Physically Deformed Child Molester
« Reply #32 on: March 25, 2011, 08:24:19 AM »
Nightmare fuel

Inbred Jed

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Re: Physically Deformed Child Molester
« Reply #33 on: March 25, 2011, 09:23:20 AM »
Nightmare fuel

Coming from you that says a lot

LloydChristmas

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Re: Physically Deformed Child Molester
« Reply #34 on: March 25, 2011, 09:28:19 AM »
speaking of child molesters, so this michael woodmansee character is supposedly getting out of jail on good behavior.  he lived in the town over from where i grew up.  abducted and CANNIBALIZED his victim.  kept the skull in his room.  i'm losing all faith in our justice system, but it's typical rhode island



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Re: Physically Deformed Child Molester
« Reply #35 on: March 25, 2011, 11:57:58 AM »
speaking of child molesters, so this michael woodmansee character is supposedly getting out of jail on good behavior.  he lived in the town over from where i grew up.  abducted and CANNIBALIZED his victim.  kept the skull in his room.  i'm losing all faith in our justice system, but it's typical rhode island

Brutal. I just looked him up. The father of the victim recently vowed to kill him if they let him out early.

kevbo999

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Re: Physically Deformed Child Molester
« Reply #36 on: March 25, 2011, 12:23:46 PM »
feel good thread of the year...

Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Re: Physically Deformed Child Molester
« Reply #37 on: March 25, 2011, 12:24:34 PM »

Shit man, it looks like the machine that can turn cartoon characters into real humans still needs work. Ziggy looks like he's in pain.
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Re: Physically Deformed Child Molester
« Reply #38 on: March 25, 2011, 09:04:15 PM »
You'd think someone with an auto-tuner attached to his throat could do more with his life.

Nick Bruno

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Re: Physically Deformed Child Molester
« Reply #39 on: March 25, 2011, 11:25:06 PM »
Bear Grylls swag


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Re: Physically Deformed Child Molester
« Reply #40 on: March 26, 2011, 03:44:53 AM »
His diet consists solely of stale cabbage.