Author Topic: things youve done (sexual) (Read 4842 times)

rubberpumpthecloth · « **on:** May 09, 2011, 07:52:33 AM »

Other than human bodies, what kinds of objects have you fucked? Condoms, pies, fish, melons, cups, plastic bags, this, that, heard what?

No jokes please guys...

Perro Mojado · « **Reply #1 on:** May 09, 2011, 08:05:43 AM »

when younger i fucked raw meat

nice weather · « **Reply #2 on:** May 09, 2011, 08:24:18 AM »

Put food on my bright red teenage boner while watching stargate SG1 to see what the warmth of a woman would feel like. Turns out it was the exact same feeling.

Beeda Weeda · « **Reply #3 on:** May 09, 2011, 09:32:15 AM »

put my dick in a hot dog bun and got a blow job from a fat chick.

Alan · « **Reply #4 on:** May 09, 2011, 10:00:00 AM »

Paging Eric Logan!

Narcissus · « **Reply #5 on:** May 09, 2011, 12:10:02 PM »

Quote from: simon on May 09, 2011, 08:05:43 AM

when younger i fucked raw meat

Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!

Hercules Rockefeller · « **Reply #6 on:** May 09, 2011, 12:55:26 PM »

Quote from: Beeda Weeda on May 09, 2011, 09:32:15 AM

put my dick in a hot dog bun and got a blow job from a fat chick.

thats a dangerous game you?re playing there.

The Twilight Zone · « **Reply #7 on:** May 09, 2011, 01:20:00 PM »

>be 12
>horny as all hell
>always looking for something to hump
>found it.
>big juicy fish my dad caught
>if i close my eyes i know it will feel great
>steal the fish in the middle of the night
>tip toe back to my room
>open through the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur

H8R part 4 · « **Reply #8 on:** May 10, 2011, 07:08:09 AM »

i busted on nut on my friends sister pillow. i was just marking my territory.

sparksandblood · « **Reply #9 on:** May 10, 2011, 07:30:01 AM »

Quote from: Alan on May 09, 2011, 10:00:00 AM

Paging Eric Logan!

COUCH FUCKER

Beeda Weeda · « **Reply #10 on:** May 10, 2011, 07:51:53 AM »

i jacked off with vicks vapo rub as lube.

Kab · « **Reply #11 on:** May 10, 2011, 01:07:32 PM »

Quote from: Beeda Weeda on May 10, 2011, 07:51:53 AM

i jacked off with vicks vapo rub as lube.

Hmm that didn't start to burn after a while?

I wouldn't consider this sexual, but once I sprayed AXE on my balls when I was in middle school - big fucking mistake.

loose girlfriends · « **Reply #12 on:** May 10, 2011, 08:51:08 PM »

I fuck dolphins.

swllbo · « **Reply #13 on:** May 10, 2011, 10:35:05 PM »

Quote from: Kab on May 10, 2011, 01:07:32 PM

Quote from: Beeda Weeda on May 10, 2011, 07:51:53 AM
Expand Quote
i jacked off with vicks vapo rub as lube.
[close]

Hmm that didn't start to burn after a while?

I wouldn't consider this sexual, but once I sprayed AXE on my balls when I was in middle school - big fucking mistake.

I had a friend who accidently used some sort of exfoliation cream as lube. Watching him run through the house with his road rash dick while screaming " My dick is on fire " was hilarious.

StabMasterArson · « **Reply #14 on:** May 10, 2011, 11:19:40 PM »

A few years back, a friend of mine bought me some sort of cheap "pocket pussy" back from Europe. I think he got it in one of those machines by the mens room. All it really was was a bag you filled up with warm water and lubed up the tight hole in the front. Drunk and lonely on a new years, I came home from striking out and gave it a shot. Filled it up with not too hot of water, but not too cold. I shot for body temp. Put on a pretty good adult film and went to fucking town on the thing. It broke, I dropped it on the ground, soaked my floor and almost fried my computer. Still boned up, I finished the old fashion way, this time, with wet socks.

friendly dave · « **Reply #15 on:** May 11, 2011, 12:57:31 AM »

One time I was fooling around with this girl in a stairwell, dododo, I beat off on a church.

CUDDLEMONSTER · « **Reply #16 on:** May 11, 2011, 01:01:09 AM »

i beat off to flintstones porn this morning.

the ragamuffin · « **Reply #17 on:** May 11, 2011, 05:53:21 AM »

Quote from: swllbo on May 10, 2011, 10:35:05 PM

Quote from: Kab on May 10, 2011, 01:07:32 PM
Expand Quote
Quote from: Beeda Weeda on May 10, 2011, 07:51:53 AM
Expand Quote
i jacked off with vicks vapo rub as lube.
[close]

Hmm that didn't start to burn after a while?

I wouldn't consider this sexual, but once I sprayed AXE on my balls when I was in middle school - big fucking mistake.
[close]
I had a friend who accidently used some sort of exfoliation cream as lube. Watching him run through the house with his road rash dick while screaming " My dick is on fire " was hilarious.

Once I convinced my brother that putting icy hot cream on your balls was the best feeling a man could have so he tried it. Hilarity ensued.

barkeep11 · « **Reply #18 on:** May 11, 2011, 01:24:06 PM »

Mom's comfy couch. I went by there years later and stuck my finger between the cushions... it was still a little crispy.

FandomCereal · « **Reply #19 on:** September 22, 2023, 10:06:11 AM »

this is the worst thread i've ever seen in my life

double fakie ollie grind · « **Reply #20 on:** September 22, 2023, 12:12:04 PM »

Quote from: FandomCereal on September 22, 2023, 10:06:11 AM

this is the worst thread i've ever seen in my life

Thanks for reviving a thread from 2011 to let us know

Ankle_Lift · « **Reply #21 on:** September 22, 2023, 02:06:42 PM »

Quote from: Beeda Weeda on May 09, 2011, 09:32:15 AM

got a blow job from a fat chick.

I gave her a wink and she gave me a gummer...
I LOVE fat chicks in the summer!!

FandomCereal · « **Reply #22 on:** September 25, 2023, 08:43:59 AM »

Quote from: double fakie ollie grind on September 22, 2023, 12:12:04 PM

Quote from: FandomCereal on September 22, 2023, 10:06:11 AM
Expand Quote
this is the worst thread i've ever seen in my life
[close]

Thanks for reviving a thread from 2011 to let us know

no problem bro

Uncle Flea · « **Reply #23 on:** September 25, 2023, 11:22:18 AM »

I once banged a whole family for room and bloard. It sucked.

I'm big on receiving blowjob's. Especially outdoors or while driving.

Might be fun to 69 ( favorite shit ever) in a 68 El Camino. My family had one but was too young to enjoy that at the time. I did try to steal the car once tho.

Was California af. Blacked out with a 327 vet swap. Shaved door handles. My mom's ex built it in Fresno.

I almost moved there in 92 but nope.

Like 5 years later or so I had a ford e250 camper with a tall top and all the fixings. Was a rolling acid orgy. Then it became a stationary coke cave surrounded by discarded Tampax and Trojans.

My dad told everyone in town how many pairs of underwear he found in it when he cleaned it out.

Everyone fucked in it. Not much gay stuff tho. People was still too afraid to be themselves at that time.

I didn't get to do gay stuff really until my 20s. I'm still ticking boxes on my bucket list though it's been rough since COVID started.

I've got that don't touch me unless you're a stranger and I'll probably not see you again attitude rn.

Sometimes I try to shed it but most of the bathroom goers around here are on some weird shit.

I miss living in Boston so badly

I'm horny for subway/commuter rail encounters. Something about the rhythm of the train. It's good. I'm an outdoors men looking for a chubby lil hubby with a 5- 6" piece of awesome who love to 69 their life away.. one who is safe and does not mind wandering.

Maybe they wanna get some too.

formula420 · « **Reply #24 on:** September 25, 2023, 06:49:37 PM »

I'll just say the pleasures on west colfax is the best arcade in denver

layzieyez · « **Reply #25 on:** September 26, 2023, 07:29:54 AM »

I think I touched my wang with my hand once and bleach came out of it.

Dojsha Abuser · « **Reply #26 on:** October 09, 2023, 08:07:33 AM »

Nothing.

addie pray · « **Reply #27 on:** October 09, 2023, 08:37:08 AM »

IUTSM · « **Reply #28 on:** October 09, 2023, 08:43:41 AM »

Quote from: layzieyez on September 26, 2023, 07:29:54 AM

I think I touched my wang with my hand once and bleach came out of it.

Find the antivax rallies and you’ll be catching some serious dome!

Uncle Flea · « **Reply #29 on:** October 09, 2023, 08:46:16 AM »

Looking back not all of it is worth talking about.

Some friends don't like it when you bring drugs and a hooker sex show to visit with out warning

It drove one friend from his closet. Unfortunately I think he was just hoping from frying pan to frying pan because he got married and divorced later.

Now he plays pokemon go and watches TV.

This makes me wanna say that if you SECRETLY gay do not delay go out and get some play before you're too old to do so ok

Author Topic: things youve done (sexual) (Read 4842 times)

Beeda Weeda

The Twilight Zone

Beeda Weeda