real confessions

[ill_Murray]

Doing this for my own therapy, Was with a women for the last hmm 4 years, she has a son who was 1 when i met her and i raised him like my own now the rad little guy is 6. Anyway she told me one morning in February that she just needed me to leave...was invited back a few weeks later then asked again to have me just move out a week after that. Got a place and then went out to dinner one evening that turned into us hooking up and then since then till now it was 2 weeks hot 1 week cold or any pattern of me staying there doing family stuff then boom cut off again. The whole time she was hanging with a guy who is her brothers wife bother Lets call him "E"...who was/is married and is going through a divorce right now and going through some shit with his own emotions. I asked her over and over if anything is going on between them and to just let me know and i will walk away.

Monday night comes and she has been weird for about a week and has been hanging with another guy from her work...i ask her again just tell me whats up and if there is anything going on as i just need to know so i can break my stupid cycle of always being there for her and the kid, again its nothing is going on. Monday night texts were weird..nice but not her.. like saying just good night and i don't know hard to explain but  my gut was like nope i need to go and find out...i go to our old place..her place now and yeah shes banging the new guy she was hanging with. I was crushed... confronted her and yeah... just tears from her and what else could she say...man fucking crushing finding out that way.

I take off and get back to my place and collect my thought and do what i know I have to. This chick is great but she has a pattern of going down the wrong road and I broke that for years but her old ways are coming back but I also know that her and "E" had never hooked up, he's too much like me, a silly nice guy to do anything although i know they are both truly into each other but its so weird with devorce, family and a few other factors that they are hesitant. So i call her and make her pick up the phone after calling a few times..and i tell her i can not forgive her but she can't go back to her shitty ways of random hook ups to try and feel something and that she has to promise me that she tells "E" tomorrow about how she feels and they sort it out. I then call him in the morning and he is kinda scared at first..this dude is going through some shit I know but i tell him he has to tell her how he feels and to take care of her as i know he is a good man.

Fucking hell...i don't know why I still needed to protect her after all this shit..maybe its due to her son that I care for so much but man..since all that i have been sad, angry, confused and anything in between. Went a drank with a rad homie chick last night and she like fucking cut that shit...no more..you have done enough..more then enough and this weekend I'm taking off to hang with another chick about 4 hours away..just cruise down random roads and camp out.

 Its scary and weird not being there anymore with them and just looking after me..but that's reality and just facing that is going to have some ups and downs, but it's what I'm faced with.

Damn dude, super harsh.  Like Twitch said though you sound like a pretty good human being, obviously it'll take some time to get passed a 4 year stint of constantly having those people in your life.  Soon you'll find yourself somewhere else with someone else and this shit won't matter.  Don't wallow, get out there and live, it's the only way to move forward.

[JB]

sorry to hear that kingpinuser. i think all i can say is "thats life" man. you can only do so much to help out the people you know and love, and even when you give them the world, that might not be enough for them to stick around with you. im sure the intentions you have for this girl and her son are the best for them both, but shes always going to make decisions for herself and they might not always be what you think is best. honestly, this might be one of those situations thats just really shitty. an end to something that was once great.

going off what you wrote, this girl doesnt sounds like someone whos going to be down with you the way you might need her to be if you two ended up sticking together. im sure youre super bummed, and i know if i get bummed out on my girlfriend i can talk sort of badly about her just because im upset, so for all i know she could actually be a really great girl. but i think what you need to think about is if shes going to be a good influence on your life in the long run, and not just you being the good influence in hers. right now it sounds like shes just stressing you out, and you dont need that.

id give it a little bit of a break for now. its always really hard to make a clean break, and id never tell anyone to just drop everything and forget about the person they were in a relationship with because i know thats practically impossible to do. shit sucks man, but dont let it consume you.

[kingpinuser]

sorry to hear that kingpinuser. i think all i can say is "thats life" man. you can only do so much to help out the people you know and love, and even when you give them the world, that might not be enough for them to stick around with you. im sure the intentions you have for this girl and her son are the best for them both, but shes always going to make decisions for herself and they might not always be what you think is best. honestly, this might be one of those situations thats just really shitty. an end to something that was once great.

going off what you wrote, this girl doesnt sounds like someone whos going to be down with you the way you might need her to be if you two ended up sticking together. im sure youre super bummed, and i know if i get bummed out on my girlfriend i can talk sort of badly about her just because im upset, so for all i know she could actually be a really great girl. but i think what you need to think about is if shes going to be a good influence on your life in the long run, and not just you being the good influence in hers. right now it sounds like shes just stressing you out, and you dont need that.

id give it a little bit of a break for now. its always really hard to make a clean break, and id never tell anyone to just drop everything and forget about the person they were in a relationship with because i know thats practically impossible to do. shit sucks man, but dont let it consume you.

Thanks twitchflip, ill_Murray and JB Everything for all that has been said and it is all very spot on. The sickness feeling and anger of what i walked in on is pretty much hitting me now. The stress has been crazy and my parents have been super worried about me with everything that was going on...they saw the stress eating away, my mom was the first person to say I don't think you really did want to marry her... as amazing, rad, and serious a beautiful women she has some huge highs which are great times but the lows are hard to deal with and has taken a toll on me, she has a hard time opening up, Usually during these times i would bring the kid out to the park or solo adventures and just play ninja missions and yeah..going to miss that shit a lot. Anyways I'm rolling through the punches in me at this moment while at work. I got two tickets to see Deer Tick that we were planning on going to...Two options now..find another person which i should do or give the tickets up...i got a day to decide.

[ill_Murray]

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sorry to hear that kingpinuser. i think all i can say is "thats life" man. you can only do so much to help out the people you know and love, and even when you give them the world, that might not be enough for them to stick around with you. im sure the intentions you have for this girl and her son are the best for them both, but shes always going to make decisions for herself and they might not always be what you think is best. honestly, this might be one of those situations thats just really shitty. an end to something that was once great.

going off what you wrote, this girl doesnt sounds like someone whos going to be down with you the way you might need her to be if you two ended up sticking together. im sure youre super bummed, and i know if i get bummed out on my girlfriend i can talk sort of badly about her just because im upset, so for all i know she could actually be a really great girl. but i think what you need to think about is if shes going to be a good influence on your life in the long run, and not just you being the good influence in hers. right now it sounds like shes just stressing you out, and you dont need that.

id give it a little bit of a break for now. its always really hard to make a clean break, and id never tell anyone to just drop everything and forget about the person they were in a relationship with because i know thats practically impossible to do. shit sucks man, but dont let it consume you.

[close]

Thanks twitchflip, ill_Murray and JB Everything for all that has been said and it is all very spot on. The sickness feeling and anger of what i walked in on is pretty much hitting me now. The stress has been crazy and my parents have been super worried about me with everything that was going on...they saw the stress eating away, my mom was the first person to say I don't think you really did want to marry her... as amazing, rad, and serious a beautiful women she has some huge highs which are great times but the lows are hard to deal with and has taken a toll on me, she has a hard time opening up, Usually during these times i would bring the kid out to the park or solo adventures and just play ninja missions and yeah..going to miss that shit a lot. Anyways I'm rolling through the punches in me at this moment while at work. I got two tickets to see Deer Tick that we were planning on going to...Two options now..find another person which i should do or give the tickets up...i got a day to decide.

You find another person and you go enjoy that god damn concert is what you do!
Seriously though, there should be more people like you man, that kid was lucky to have you for the years that he did for sure. 
You've got tons of time to skate now though.

[arthurspooner]

That blows kingpin. I hope this start to look up really soon for you.

I'd say go to the Deer Tick concert! Don't give them up. Deer Tick rules. That'll get your mind off of things at least for a few hours.

[JB]

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sorry to hear that kingpinuser. i think all i can say is "thats life" man. you can only do so much to help out the people you know and love, and even when you give them the world, that might not be enough for them to stick around with you. im sure the intentions you have for this girl and her son are the best for them both, but shes always going to make decisions for herself and they might not always be what you think is best. honestly, this might be one of those situations thats just really shitty. an end to something that was once great.

going off what you wrote, this girl doesnt sounds like someone whos going to be down with you the way you might need her to be if you two ended up sticking together. im sure youre super bummed, and i know if i get bummed out on my girlfriend i can talk sort of badly about her just because im upset, so for all i know she could actually be a really great girl. but i think what you need to think about is if shes going to be a good influence on your life in the long run, and not just you being the good influence in hers. right now it sounds like shes just stressing you out, and you dont need that.

id give it a little bit of a break for now. its always really hard to make a clean break, and id never tell anyone to just drop everything and forget about the person they were in a relationship with because i know thats practically impossible to do. shit sucks man, but dont let it consume you.

[close]

Thanks twitchflip, ill_Murray and JB Everything for all that has been said and it is all very spot on. The sickness feeling and anger of what i walked in on is pretty much hitting me now. The stress has been crazy and my parents have been super worried about me with everything that was going on...they saw the stress eating away, my mom was the first person to say I don't think you really did want to marry her... as amazing, rad, and serious a beautiful women she has some huge highs which are great times but the lows are hard to deal with and has taken a toll on me, she has a hard time opening up, Usually during these times i would bring the kid out to the park or solo adventures and just play ninja missions and yeah..going to miss that shit a lot. Anyways I'm rolling through the punches in me at this moment while at work. I got two tickets to see Deer Tick that we were planning on going to...Two options now..find another person which i should do or give the tickets up...i got a day to decide.

go to the show. if you dont have anyone to go with, just go alone. fuck it, you might be surprised how much fun you have going by yourself. maybe hit the bars a bit early, if you see someone who looks like they might be down, toss the ticket to them. you dont even have to hang out with them at the show, but you might make their day by just being the guy who gave them a free ticket.

[kingpinuser]

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sorry to hear that kingpinuser. i think all i can say is "thats life" man. you can only do so much to help out the people you know and love, and even when you give them the world, that might not be enough for them to stick around with you. im sure the intentions you have for this girl and her son are the best for them both, but shes always going to make decisions for herself and they might not always be what you think is best. honestly, this might be one of those situations thats just really shitty. an end to something that was once great.

going off what you wrote, this girl doesnt sounds like someone whos going to be down with you the way you might need her to be if you two ended up sticking together. im sure youre super bummed, and i know if i get bummed out on my girlfriend i can talk sort of badly about her just because im upset, so for all i know she could actually be a really great girl. but i think what you need to think about is if shes going to be a good influence on your life in the long run, and not just you being the good influence in hers. right now it sounds like shes just stressing you out, and you dont need that.

id give it a little bit of a break for now. its always really hard to make a clean break, and id never tell anyone to just drop everything and forget about the person they were in a relationship with because i know thats practically impossible to do. shit sucks man, but dont let it consume you.

[close]

Thanks twitchflip, ill_Murray and JB Everything for all that has been said and it is all very spot on. The sickness feeling and anger of what i walked in on is pretty much hitting me now. The stress has been crazy and my parents have been super worried about me with everything that was going on...they saw the stress eating away, my mom was the first person to say I don't think you really did want to marry her... as amazing, rad, and serious a beautiful women she has some huge highs which are great times but the lows are hard to deal with and has taken a toll on me, she has a hard time opening up, Usually during these times i would bring the kid out to the park or solo adventures and just play ninja missions and yeah..going to miss that shit a lot. Anyways I'm rolling through the punches in me at this moment while at work. I got two tickets to see Deer Tick that we were planning on going to...Two options now..find another person which i should do or give the tickets up...i got a day to decide.

[close]

You find another person and you go enjoy that god damn concert is what you do!
Seriously though, there should be more people like you man, that kid was lucky to have you for the years that he did for sure. 
You've got tons of time to skate now though.

Thanks again guys, I wont give up the tickets and i know more then a few people to ask...i might try and find someone random just to have a different experience. About the skating...i am now back pushing on my board after a knee problem that lasted years and then a random Achilles injury to the same leg..had my homie shoot a pic of me just pushing as everything else is taking more time but it just feels amazing pushing again...heres the pic, i don't post on any of the main Slap pages too often, I have been lurking since damn..2002 i think..32 years old so yeah it has been that long, and its dog eat dog world on some of these topics. But again thanks so much...the head and body still hurts but i hope tonight will be a better sleep. 

[SodaJerk]

Kingpinuser, it's a harsh situation but the advice the guys have given you about a nice clean cut and getting on with life is definitely the best thing right now. If you do end up giving the Deer Tick ticket to a stranger that act of random kindness can cause an incredible feeling of stoke for both parties and will come back in good karma. Keep your head up and get ready for new experiences.

[L33Tg33k]

Took me almost 4 hours to masturbate last night.

[SodaJerk]

Took me almost 4 hours to masturbate last night.

That's some intense Shake Weight workout. Hope you switched up arms or you're gonna have one mad diesel lopsided arm.

[ill_Murray]

Took me almost 4 hours to masturbate last night.

Because you masturbate too much or because you can only get off to the gnarliest shit since you've seen it all?

[L33Tg33k]

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Took me almost 4 hours to masturbate last night.

[close]

Because you masturbate too much or because you can only get off to the gnarliest shit since you've seen it all?

Because 80mg of Prozac.

[ill_Murray]

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Took me almost 4 hours to masturbate last night.

[close]

Because you masturbate too much or because you can only get off to the gnarliest shit since you've seen it all?

[close]

Because 80mg of Prozac.

That's depressing.


Irony.

[fulltechnicalskizzy]

Hahahahaha

[L33Tg33k]

Also, I like the band Mindless Self Indulgence.

[dillanharp]

Also, I like the band Mindless Self Indulgence.

And you were talking shit about NIN tickets.

[L33Tg33k]

I was joking about NIN. I like Reznor a lot actually.

[fulltechnicalskizzy]

I once tried to kill myself with a Mindless Self Indulgence CD.













I passed out 10 minutes in and woke up in the hospital two weeks later.



 

[EPetrov]

been a college student since fall of 09, now I want to switch majors because some stuff happened  Academically that I dont agree with and I hated the uni and area I was at. Haven't had math in 2 years. I'm nervous and bummed because i'm about to start my mid 20's and because I need calculus before I can transfer into the university I want and get in the business major.

[paraquat]

been a college student since fall of 09, now I want to switch majors because some stuff happened  Academically that I dont agree with and I hated the uni and area I was at. Haven't had math in 2 years. I'm nervous and bummed because i'm about to start my mid 20's and because I need calculus before I can transfer into the university I want and get in the business major.

Whoa whoa. Chill man. You have time. What's your life like now, outside of academia? You have a sustainable income? You have a lady? You have a place to live? Just set small goals and bust through them. Take less/easier classes when you take this math class. I had to do that as math is hard for me to grasp.

What i am saying is: at your age, think about the present and immediate future more. You can worry about being old when you're old.

[Mr. Lono]

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been a college student since fall of 09, now I want to switch majors because some stuff happened  Academically that I dont agree with and I hated the uni and area I was at. Haven't had math in 2 years. I'm nervous and bummed because i'm about to start my mid 20's and because I need calculus before I can transfer into the university I want and get in the business major.

[close]

Whoa whoa. Chill man. You have time. What's your life like now, outside of academia? You have a sustainable income? You have a lady? You have a place to live? Just set small goals and bust through them. Take less/easier classes when you take this math class. I had to do that as math is hard for me to grasp.

What i am saying is: at your age, think about the present and immediate future more. You can worry about being old when you're old.

Good stuff

[EPetrov]

unfortunately I have no lady, I been talking to some ladies but I guess I haven't been seriously pursuing even though I want a lady.lol Just got layed off from my summer job yesterday   . Life outside academia:I try to skate a few days a week along with playing guitar and soccer. So I am not at home playing games everyday. I just came back from a school I wasted 1.5 years at, I now live with my parents again 25 miles away from the city I love.You're right about my thinking/worrying.

[L33Tg33k]

I have an SSI medical evaluation today. Let's hope I look especially miserable today and they write me a check right there.

[perverted super otaku!]

I have an SSI medical evaluation today. Let's hope I look especially miserable today and they write me a check right there.

tell the doc your 0 for 87 in terms of wanking, prolly an amazing idea 

[Ruberov]

unfortunately I have no lady, I been talking to some ladies but I guess I haven't been seriously pursuing even though I want a lady.lol Just got layed off from my summer job yesterday   . Life outside academia:I try to skate a few days a week along with playing guitar and soccer. So I am not at home playing games everyday. I just came back from a school I wasted 1.5 years at, I now live with my parents again 25 miles away from the city I love.You're right about my thinking/worrying.

Patrick MLT on the youtube got my calculus up to scratch after 30 years off.

[IanBZHD]

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unfortunately I have no lady, I been talking to some ladies but I guess I haven't been seriously pursuing even though I want a lady.lol Just got layed off from my summer job yesterday   . Life outside academia:I try to skate a few days a week along with playing guitar and soccer. So I am not at home playing games everyday. I just came back from a school I wasted 1.5 years at, I now live with my parents again 25 miles away from the city I love.You're right about my thinking/worrying.

[close]

Patrick MLT on the youtube got my calculus up to scratch after 30 years off.

Learn your basic rules of algebra, and do your homework in Calculus and it shouldn't be too bad if its an entry level Calc class. Also, look up Khan Academy on youtubes, its basically MIT lectures about any math subject you can imagine that really helps break it down.

[Rumpleforeskin]

I don't know if I'm depressed or what but I haven't really felt any sort of emotion in long time.  I guess I don't feel anything anymore, which sucks.  Even hooking up is boring now.  I was thinking tonight how pointless it was to go out and fuck this newly-single girl.  What's the point of fucking some poor girl just to try to make you feel good about yourself?  I hooked up with a girl I've known for years as a friend two weeks ago and I couldn't even come from sex, I had to jack off while fingering her in order to do anything.  I can't sleep on a normal person's schedule anymore, sometimes I stay up until 9 in the morning and sleep until 11 the next night.  I've been frequently visiting my very small-hometown because my bestfriend is on leave after graduating from Navy basic training school.  Every time I come back it's like a surge of emotions of memories.  I hate leaving.  And to top it all off, I've listened to that Kings of Leon "Use Somebody" song over 50 times and I don't know why because I hate that band.

[rocketofftopic]

I don't know if I'm depressed or what but I haven't really felt any sort of emotion in long time.  I guess I don't feel anything anymore, which sucks.  Even hooking up is boring now.  I was thinking tonight how pointless it was to go out and fuck this newly-single girl.  What's the point of fucking some poor girl just to try to make you feel good about yourself?  I hooked up with a girl I've known for years as a friend two weeks ago and I couldn't even come from sex, I had to jack off while fingering her in order to do anything.  I can't sleep on a normal person's schedule anymore, sometimes I stay up until 9 in the morning and sleep until 11 the next night.  I've been frequently visiting my very small-hometown because my bestfriend is on leave after graduating from Navy basic training school.  Every time I come back it's like a surge of emotions of memories.  I hate leaving.  And to top it all off, I've listened to that Kings of Leon "Use Somebody" song over 50 times and I don't know why because I hate that band.

seek help immediately.

jokes aside i feel the same way but didn't really know how to word it, but yeah i feel like i feel almost no emotions either. my parents kinda bugged out about it from time to time, just being like "nothing affects you why don't you smile more" and stuff like that. i've never really thought about how many other people are like this. is it a common thing? depression? or are we just robots 

[shark tits]

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I don't know if I'm depressed or what but I haven't really felt any sort of emotion in long time.  I guess I don't feel anything anymore, which sucks.  Even hooking up is boring now.  I was thinking tonight how pointless it was to go out and fuck this newly-single girl.  What's the point of fucking some poor girl just to try to make you feel good about yourself?  I hooked up with a girl I've known for years as a friend two weeks ago and I couldn't even come from sex, I had to jack off while fingering her in order to do anything.  I can't sleep on a normal person's schedule anymore, sometimes I stay up until 9 in the morning and sleep until 11 the next night.  I've been frequently visiting my very small-hometown because my bestfriend is on leave after graduating from Navy basic training school.  Every time I come back it's like a surge of emotions of memories.  I hate leaving.  And to top it all off, I've listened to that Kings of Leon "Use Somebody" song over 50 times and I don't know why because I hate that band.

[close]

seek help immediately.

jokes aside i feel the same way but didn't really know how to word it, but yeah i feel like i feel almost no emotions either. my parents kinda bugged out about it from time to time, just being like "nothing affects you why don't you smile more" and stuff like that. i've never really thought about how many other people are like this. is it a common thing? depression? or are we just robots 

you're zach braff's character from 'garden state'. lay off the mood pills and fall in love and listen to the shins. it'll turn you into a normal person.

[BraveUlysses]

I was eating KFC yesterday and changed my shirt once I realized I had on my Smiths Meat Is Murder album cover t shirt, I felt like it was bad luck and I was gonna get salmonella or something. This is pretty much the most interesting thing I have for this thread at the moment.