Author Topic: real confessions  (Read 1734832 times)

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lazer69

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10470 on: March 20, 2022, 08:27:55 AM »
I dont know If I mentioned it before. But life seems hard and I dont feel like im progressing in life and society and can connect like everyone else. Besides being difficult to make or keep friends its been hard in the job/career world. All I know is failure. At least before I had the motivation to keep trying, and applying, but hope and motivation has dwindled away.  I came to the realization that Im likely on the spectrum. The weird thing is I feel like I have been progressively getting worse.

On a positive note I guess.. I started smoking weed more regularly and it kind helps for a few hours. I diamond handed my stocks, during the downturn and have faith my portfolio will grow. I feel like its almost my child, plant,or pet I check up on often; sounds regular, I know.

iKobrakai

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10471 on: March 20, 2022, 11:09:49 PM »
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Have had only one drink in the last five weeks. thanks for kind words guys. head feels clearer
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That‘s not a confession, that‘s an achievement. Do you plan on staying sober?
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Yeah... Do not plan to get drunk ever again. Trying to detach drinking from relaxing/socializing/decompressing/dealing w emotions. Shift my attitude, I guess. Be more present for myself and for my loved ones, radiate kindness, all that jazz. Baby steps though, alcohol's the only thing I'm abstaining from right now

I'm in group and individual therapy right now and they're doing good for me

Kinda getting into God right now lol. (that's my confession)
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Great. This sounds very promising.

God helped me overcome many bad habits. To be honest I never thought I could quit drinking, smoking, and a few other things, but He made it possible.
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Damn, I used to think you guys were cool.

Just kidding. Do what you gotta do.

Wrong. That's why we're here.

PuffinMuffin

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10472 on: March 22, 2022, 09:37:39 AM »
I used to rip away the covers from my poor husband so violently he switched to sleeping in a sleeping bag. No longer an issue, but sometimes kick and punch in my sleep. I'm not a violent person, what gives...
i’m 80% skateboarder 20% atlantic puffin enthusiast

DaleSr

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10473 on: March 22, 2022, 12:24:38 PM »
I used to rip away the covers from my poor husband so violently he switched to sleeping in a sleeping bag. No longer an issue, but sometimes kick and punch in my sleep. I'm not a violent person, what gives...

That's just being a true warrior. Your body fights back at its most vulnerable stage. I wish i had this much power

Sharp-o

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10474 on: March 22, 2022, 02:03:08 PM »
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I read this thread from the start over an over again to feel better about my self
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Post a confession, bro.
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-Cheated on my girl and i could not be happier. That got me away from that relationship. Im much happier when i can be free.
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Bhahah lil man lurks to feel better then gets #1 spot for shittiest thing to do in a thread that includes a dude having a designated cum box.

It’s all good but made me laugh hard.
Yea im a piece of shit for that. Told her the next moring tho and we broke up with pretty good terms. I couldnt really handle a relationship too well anyway so breaking up was a good move. But yea im bummed it ended that way.

Slikk

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10475 on: March 23, 2022, 09:32:48 AM »
from ages 8 to 13 I went to a different public school every year because my mother was mad at my father over money. we moved to different cities, living near relatives, surviving off my dad's money and mom's part time job and sometimes sleeping on couches, or there would only be room for adults on the one bed so I would get the futon in the living room. the older i got the more i found out my mom liked to shop and use my dad's money for her and my older half brother, they both used to abuse me physically and emotionally. i resented my mother and brother for this, still do. my father is now elderly, still working, no savings or anything he really values or cherishes besides his 'favorite child' me. i also found out that my father had lied to business partners blaming me for why he had money problems or for missing inventory. i don't like either of my parents but i feel i don't have a choice as a man in his early 30s, as i dont know how much time left i will have with them. i've tried to kill myself but always chicken out. the only thing that has remotely helped me is being able to skate for the past 15 years. im tired of living the double life - one person that loves their parents and holds no grudges, and the other person that cant forget everything that has happened.

nevrwasben

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10476 on: March 23, 2022, 07:49:41 PM »
from ages 8 to 13 I went to a different public school every year because my mother was mad at my father over money. we moved to different cities, living near relatives, surviving off my dad's money and mom's part time job and sometimes sleeping on couches, or there would only be room for adults on the one bed so I would get the futon in the living room. the older i got the more i found out my mom liked to shop and use my dad's money for her and my older half brother, they both used to abuse me physically and emotionally. i resented my mother and brother for this, still do. my father is now elderly, still working, no savings or anything he really values or cherishes besides his 'favorite child' me. i also found out that my father had lied to business partners blaming me for why he had money problems or for missing inventory. i don't like either of my parents but i feel i don't have a choice as a man in his early 30s, as i dont know how much time left i will have with them. i've tried to kill myself but always chicken out. the only thing that has remotely helped me is being able to skate for the past 15 years. im tired of living the double life - one person that loves their parents and holds no grudges, and the other person that cant forget everything that has happened.
Yo @Slikk, no answers here, just empathy and unsolicited advice.
If you can afford it, pay therapy.
If not, there are affordable/free resources available as well that can help alleviate some of the issues if you’re willing to put in the mental/emotional work.
I’ll reply with links if you’d like.
Godspeed…

Slikk

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10477 on: March 24, 2022, 06:56:49 AM »
Yo @Slikk, no answers here, just empathy and unsolicited advice.
If you can afford it, pay therapy.
If not, there are affordable/free resources available as well that can help alleviate some of the issues if you’re willing to put in the mental/emotional work.
I’ll reply with links if you’d like.
Godspeed…

I've been in therapy for three years. It really boils down to just not confronting my father and being afraid he will resent me for bringing up his mistakes, I don't know how he will react. And you don't know my mother... refuses to go to docs, believes nothing is wrong with her mentally, anti-vax type. I wish it was cut and dry for me to understand but I don't know how to get through to people who never think they are wrong, never apologize, always making excuses for their short comings. As long as I try to be a better parent I think that will make me feel better sometimes. Thanks for your suggestions.

DaleSr

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10478 on: March 24, 2022, 11:02:01 AM »
Have you considered cutting off contact? Sometimes you have to cut toxic people out of your life but i understand why you may be hesitant with them being your parents and being in their twilight years

nevrwasben

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10479 on: March 24, 2022, 12:55:37 PM »
Have you considered cutting off contact? Sometimes you have to cut toxic people out of your life but i understand why you may be hesitant with them being your parents and being in their twilight years
I had a friend that had to do that recently with his Mom. A lot of people have a hard time with that, but it really is the best decision in some circumstances…

PuffinMuffin

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10480 on: March 24, 2022, 08:41:42 PM »
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Have you considered cutting off contact? Sometimes you have to cut toxic people out of your life but i understand why you may be hesitant with them being your parents and being in their twilight years
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I had a friend that had to do that recently with his Mom. A lot of people have a hard time with that, but it really is the best decision in some circumstances…

Hmmm yeah, my one friend's mother is a bit crazy and physically abusive. Friend said it felt like dropping dead weight when she cut her mom off.
i’m 80% skateboarder 20% atlantic puffin enthusiast

Slikk

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10481 on: March 25, 2022, 04:39:14 AM »
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Have you considered cutting off contact? Sometimes you have to cut toxic people out of your life but i understand why you may be hesitant with them being your parents and being in their twilight years
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I had a friend that had to do that recently with his Mom. A lot of people have a hard time with that, but it really is the best decision in some circumstances…

i suppose i can't get the thought outta my head that i will have abandoned my parents in their last years of life, to be miserable and alone. as much bad as they put me through intentionally or not, i don't think i would ever get over the guilt of cutting them off. it is a difficult situation, and seeing them <10 times a yr has made our relationship semi-tolerable. it just blows my mind they would ridicule me, call me faggot, worthless, you'll be just like your loser sister... and then once i'm on my feet they try to be my best friends. also haven't been diagnosed by a professional with anything because i lie to my therapist, i need to get myself help pals.

PuffinMuffin

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10482 on: March 25, 2022, 09:25:27 AM »
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Have you considered cutting off contact? Sometimes you have to cut toxic people out of your life but i understand why you may be hesitant with them being your parents and being in their twilight years
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I had a friend that had to do that recently with his Mom. A lot of people have a hard time with that, but it really is the best decision in some circumstances…
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i suppose i can't get the thought outta my head that i will have abandoned my parents in their last years of life, to be miserable and alone. as much bad as they put me through intentionally or not, i don't think i would ever get over the guilt of cutting them off. it is a difficult situation, and seeing them <10 times a yr has made our relationship semi-tolerable. it just blows my mind they would ridicule me, call me faggot, worthless, you'll be just like your loser sister... and then once i'm on my feet they try to be my best friends. also haven't been diagnosed by a professional with anything because i lie to my therapist, i need to get myself help pals.

That's fucking terrible, it's not your fault they're selfish people. You deserve love. Have you looked into having a Found Family? I have a few friends who were disowned/cut out their parents but celebrate holidays/birthdays with extremely close friends.
i’m 80% skateboarder 20% atlantic puffin enthusiast

DaleSr

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10483 on: March 25, 2022, 11:41:41 AM »
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Have you considered cutting off contact? Sometimes you have to cut toxic people out of your life but i understand why you may be hesitant with them being your parents and being in their twilight years
[close]
I had a friend that had to do that recently with his Mom. A lot of people have a hard time with that, but it really is the best decision in some circumstances…
[close]

i suppose i can't get the thought outta my head that i will have abandoned my parents in their last years of life, to be miserable and alone. as much bad as they put me through intentionally or not, i don't think i would ever get over the guilt of cutting them off. it is a difficult situation, and seeing them <10 times a yr has made our relationship semi-tolerable. it just blows my mind they would ridicule me, call me faggot, worthless, you'll be just like your loser sister... and then once i'm on my feet they try to be my best friends. also haven't been diagnosed by a professional with anything because i lie to my therapist, i need to get myself help pals.

Damn dude this sucks. Your parents sound like transactional people, which is a total bummer. I'd recommend telling your therapist more. We're just strangers on the internet, a professional might be more helpful in this matter than us.
On the found family tip, that's probably gonna be my partner and her younger sister and nieces. Her parents are total Q wackos and her sisters are all fucked up from their mentally ill mom. All her older sisters are total weirdos who just love fighting and drama and once their kids all become older, they're probably gonna kick it with me and her and cut off contact with her wack sisters

SchizophrenicFatBoy

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10484 on: March 27, 2022, 01:37:38 PM »
Weed just isn't for me. I've been smoking it for a while, and eventually got diagnosed with schizophrenia. I stopped, got on meds, then started smoking Delta-8 distillate. I'm already a low-energy person, so it just eats up the little amount of time I actually have to do shit. It's one thing if I got high and then played guitar. I just end up listening to music and buy skateboard/guitar shit, even when I don't really need anything. This week, I spent over $1000 on pedals. I'm more motivated to learn new tricks or chords when I'm sober. I don't really get why I have the desire to smoke, when the effects (for me) aren't positive.

Uh Oh

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10485 on: March 27, 2022, 03:11:48 PM »
Weed just isn't for me. I've been smoking it for a while, and eventually got diagnosed with schizophrenia. I stopped, got on meds, then started smoking Delta-8 distillate. I'm already a low-energy person, so it just eats up the little amount of time I actually have to do shit. It's one thing if I got high and then played guitar. I just end up listening to music and buy skateboard/guitar shit, even when I don't really need anything. This week, I spent over $1000 on pedals. I'm more motivated to learn new tricks or chords when I'm sober. I don't really get why I have the desire to smoke, when the effects (for me) aren't positive.

Insightful introspection. Takes some time/trial and error to realize something just doesn’t click with you. I would often smoke when I was bored and had nothing else to do (or thought I didn’t), now I attempt to stay productive/preoccupied when I get in a slump.
I can relate to the spending money on music equipment I don’t need (especially pedals). I’m curious.. what pedals did you get?

SchizophrenicFatBoy

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10486 on: March 27, 2022, 07:03:49 PM »
^
I preordered the Boss Space Echo RE-202. Other than that, I got Boss Metal Zone, Blues Driver and a dual expression pedal. Also, I got a Dunlop Fuzzface mini, but won't get it for another week or so. The expression pedal is for the Space Echo and Fuzzface.

realbasedgod112

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10487 on: March 28, 2022, 03:40:56 PM »
i had about a month time period where i'd be heavy on DXM (like cough syrup). it probably completely fucked my brain and memory, but it's hard to tell because there's a bunch of other factors. while it was probably the shittiest period of my life from an onlooker's perspective, that period was the happiest i've ever been.
i often think about going back to it, and so a few days ago i figured i would have one final trip.
it was a complete mindfuck, it felt like i was everywhere i've ever been and my consciousness was fading in and out of my attention. i wouldn't say it was a bad trip, but at times were i not more knowledgeable i would have been terrified. at the same time though, i was easily happier then than i had been in months. in the days after i felt barely real, like i had gone some other timeline that night. it's coming back to normal now though.
i hope i'll manage to convince myself to stay away from it in future, but only time will tell.
y’all not fuckin with what i’m fuckin with

Prostate Exam

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10488 on: March 29, 2022, 04:23:11 AM »
I have to confess that I spent the last hour reading this thread and I wonder if there's any update on the colombian chick story @matty_c

ChuckRamone

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10489 on: June 02, 2022, 05:49:57 PM »
I was just out skating and there was a homeless woman nearby. For some reason she stripped naked while I was there. At first I was disgusted, but then I got strangely turned on by it. When I got home I jerked off to her. WTF is wrong with me.

behavioralguide

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10490 on: June 03, 2022, 03:23:29 AM »
some things, definitely

doublesteveburger

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10491 on: June 03, 2022, 06:52:52 AM »
you could have given her a home or a sandwich or something dude

Jewel Runner

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10492 on: June 03, 2022, 08:28:27 AM »
you could have given her a home or a sandwich or something dude

A cock meat sandwich?

doublesteveburger

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10493 on: June 03, 2022, 08:29:38 AM »
yup with a side of some more cock meat jk ew lol

Mark Renton

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10494 on: June 03, 2022, 01:24:22 PM »
^^

Hahahahaha fuck this is why I still haven’t focused.

<3
video tape yourself saving monks. dont just do it. make sure its caught on film.

ChuckRamone

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10495 on: June 04, 2022, 01:50:55 PM »
you could have given her a home or a sandwich or something dude

I think I at least owe her some change for inspiring a nice wank session

rawr1922

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10496 on: June 05, 2022, 07:03:25 PM »
Chuck Berry would be so proud of your actions following the encounter because he was a pervert. I’m quite amused by your whole story so I am a pervert too

Kumiko

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10497 on: June 06, 2022, 03:05:57 PM »
When I was like 5 or 6, I went over to hang at my friend's house. His mom answered the door and welcomed me in, but informed me that he was in the shower. I guess she figured I would just head to his room, but no one had ever told me that you shouldn't walk in on a person showering, so I just waltzed into the bathroom and started talking about what video games I had brought over while he panicked and yelled at me to leave. I confusedly did and just sat in his room for a bit before he came out and told me not to do that ever again. I didn't get why he was mad about it, but shrugged it off and we had a fun playing games all afternoon.
i love skateboarding all the time, but sometimes i wish i was one of those douchebags who hangs out with hot girls and parties every week

DaleSr

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10498 on: June 10, 2022, 10:45:03 PM »
When i was in my teens i was spending the night at my homies house and we were playing oblivion on his pc. My homie was changing and i was fucking around killing npcs and my homie came up behind me to give me a tip on how to play the game or whatever and he got his cock stuck in the chair. For reference, this was a Windsor style chair, (ex. below), and his cock was stuck in between the spokes? of the chair. He was super embarrassed and didn't want me to look, so i just had to sit there and try act like shit was normal while my friend attempted to free his trapped member from the chair. We also were eating corn dogs, and I'd be lying if i didn't say that i still have a subconscious aversion to them to this day because of this weird memory


Frank

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #10499 on: June 11, 2022, 08:44:16 AM »
When i was in my teens i was spending the night at my homies house and we were playing oblivion on his pc. My homie was changing and i was fucking around killing npcs and my homie came up behind me to give me a tip on how to play the game or whatever and he got his cock stuck in the chair. For reference, this was a Windsor style chair, (ex. below), and his cock was stuck in between the spokes? of the chair. He was super embarrassed and didn't want me to look, so i just had to sit there and try act like shit was normal while my friend attempted to free his trapped member from the chair. We also were eating corn dogs, and I'd be lying if i didn't say that i still have a subconscious aversion to them to this day because of this weird memory



no way, how does shit like this happen