real confessions

[doublesteveburger]

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That’s hardly a confession, dude.  If we’re gonna simp over right wing women let’s at least pick unconventionally sexy ones… MTG or Roseanne or someone.

[close]

Ew.

How about some Kayleigh McEnany.

[close]

Lauren Boebert for me.

[close]

MY MAN. I just want to lay back with her in a field of green grass on a spring day wearing nothing but linen robes. I’ll yell at the sky for being blue with her.

[close]

That’s deep. I’d be content with cumming all over her glasses.

hahahaha jesus christ dude hell yeah

[Jim and Dan]

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That’s hardly a confession, dude.  If we’re gonna simp over right wing women let’s at least pick unconventionally sexy ones… MTG or Roseanne or someone.

[close]

Ew.

How about some Kayleigh McEnany.

[close]

Lauren Boebert for me.

[close]

MY MAN. I just want to lay back with her in a field of green grass on a spring day wearing nothing but linen robes. I’ll yell at the sky for being blue with her.

[close]

That’s deep. I’d be content with cumming all over her glasses.

[close]

hahahaha jesus christ dude hell yeah

OMG I forgot this was the woman who's mom claimed Stan Lane was her father! But I'm not going to lie, I'd definitely be content with cumming on her glasses... If I had the time or talent, I'd make a photoshopped compilation of pixelized cum on her face while the Midnight Express theme plays in the background, the WCW version in particular.

[Esquivel]

Tonight I watched the new Jordan Maxham and Moose parts back to back. Maxham's was better, but I enjoyed Moose's too.

[matt_2993]

I think I got spiked with Adderall tonight of all things.  And thanks to tinder i later had a rich lady in the Hollywood hills eating my ass. Now I got high and almost having a panic attack thinking through all of tonight's events. 

[Dental Dan]

Hope your feeling better numbers matt. Shout out to ass eating Tinder ladies.

Things feel like a whirlwind these days but I'm happy? Can hardly tell which way is up. I'm surprised I can still tie my shoes. I think on some low level I'm succeeding and I'm terrified.
And the worst confession of them all - I used to post on here as abudabi...

[Sativa Lung]

Tonight I watched the new Jordan Maxham and Moose parts back to back. Maxham's was better, but I enjoyed Moose's too.

Im an unashamed moose sub on the tube. Always thought dude was gnarly (back 3 at Hollywood high) but it's cool to watch him do all the tech shit now. He's obviously reached a point where he's realized skating isn't gonna pay the bills unless he does it on his own and is trying to find his way in the new world, so I'm down with supporting that.

Just maybe stop skating with Jeff won song... I know you want to use his notoriety for views but that is not the right dude to be "collabing" with if you want anyone to take you seriously.

[adam22savage]

Hope your feeling better numbers matt. Shout out to ass eating Tinder ladies.

Things feel like a whirlwind these days but I'm happy? Can hardly tell which way is up. I'm surprised I can still tie my shoes. I think on some low level I'm succeeding and I'm terrified.
And the worst confession of them all - I used to post on here as abudabi...

I thought you were alright, no? Hooman was the lame one. what was wrong, you just overposted? I do remember people hating abudabi but not really why.

[Esquivel]

I think I got spiked with Adderall tonight of all things.  And thanks to tinder i later had a rich lady in the Hollywood hills eating my ass tongue-punching the life gnar button. Now I got high and almost having a panic attack thinking through all of tonight's events.

[SneakySecrets]

I’ve never owned an umbrella

[doublesteveburger]

I’ve never owned an umbrella

no joke had this exact thought like two days ago


i've never done so many things

[matt_2993]

Never had a gf then eh?

[doublesteveburger]

matt please stop yelling at me

[Dental Dan]

You really shouldn't use your girlfriend as an umbrella matt

[GnarAlarm]

I'm sexually attracted to Casey Anthony

"Three-way with Casey Anthony and Jodi Arias" is a thought that has flashed through my mind more than once.

[secretvape]

i quit skating and it feels nice, but now, who am i? is what i feel

[Peter Zagreus]

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I’ve never owned an umbrella

[close]

no joke had this exact thought like two days ago


i've never done so many things

I've also never owned an umbrella. Walking around in the rain with a bare head gives me a sense of pride.
Up until this year, I'd also never worn a suit (I'm 33).

[Bill Salt]

you should be out skating

[OneMore]

i quit skating and it feels nice, but now, who am i? is what i feel

You quit skating so you could join SLAP?

[SneakySecrets]

about 3 years ago me and 3 of my friends got very fucked up on redbull vodkas and xanax,(we were all underage at the time about 19-20) we were walking around outside at like 4 am and we came across a lone car parked in an empty dark parking lot. it was a piece of shit like 2004 nissan maxima and it had a paper in the windshield that said they broke down and would be back for the car tomorrow. my friend ended up taking a shit on the hood of the car and slashing all of the tires on the car. ive never laughed so hard in my life.  dont lecture me i know its terrible

I also went through this phase at about this time.  My buddy and I would launch golf balls into a crowded mall parking lot and listen to the windshields shatter.  Took a couple dumps on some windshields.  Stuffed roadkill into the exhausts of people we thought deserved it.  Think about how bad a week-old possum smells inside a muffler of a 98 civic.  I was also stealing people’s mail and rummaging through unlocked vehicles at the time. 

My buddy would pick out the biggest, baddest dude he could and, like a field goal kicker, kick him in the ass as hard as he could and then run away through a maze of parked cars.

The adult mind recoils at all of this, but at the time it felt like fighting against the system.  I couldn’t even imagine habitating the mind of the person that would do this, but it was me. The follies of youth.

[L33Tg33k]

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about 3 years ago me and 3 of my friends got very fucked up on redbull vodkas and xanax,(we were all underage at the time about 19-20) we were walking around outside at like 4 am and we came across a lone car parked in an empty dark parking lot. it was a piece of shit like 2004 nissan maxima and it had a paper in the windshield that said they broke down and would be back for the car tomorrow. my friend ended up taking a shit on the hood of the car and slashing all of the tires on the car. ive never laughed so hard in my life.  dont lecture me i know its terrible

[close]

I also went through this phase at about this time.  My buddy and I would launch golf balls into a crowded mall parking lot and listen to the windshields shatter.  Took a couple dumps on some windshields.  Stuffed roadkill into the exhausts of people we thought deserved it.  Think about how bad a week-old possum smells inside a muffler of a 98 civic.  I also stealing people’s mail and rummaging through unlocked vehicles at the time. 

My buddy would pick out the biggest, baddest dude he could and, like a field goal kicker, kick him in the ass as hard as he could and then run away through a maze of parked cars.

The adult mind recoils at all of this, but at the time it felt like fighting against the system.  I couldn’t even imagine habitating the mind of the person that would do this, but it was me. The follies of youth.

Ok, the rest I could abide, but as a federal employee of the United States Post Office, I can’t let this one slide. I’ve already contacted the postal inspection office and your local police department. Just turn yourself in with some dignity still intact.


I’m other news: Hi guys, I’m still the hopeless guy you know, love, hate, and/or are apathetic towards. Just saying I’m alive and still striking out on dating apps.

[tuesday]

Good to see you post, L33t!

[Jim and Dan]

I've got a crush on Nicole Hause.

[matt_2993]

2am on a Saturday, 30 years old, playing lil uzi vert, playing fall guys. I confess

[Dante Bichette]

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I'm sexually attracted to Casey Anthony

[close]

"Three-way with Casey Anthony and Jodi Arias" is a thought that has flashed through my mind more than once.

As crazy as that sounds I agree. As horrible as a person she may be can’t lie she looks good.

[fineslime]

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I'm sexually attracted to Casey Anthony

[close]

"Three-way with Casey Anthony and Jodi Arias" is a thought that has flashed through my mind more than once.

[close]

As crazy as that sounds I agree. As horrible as a person she may be can’t lie she looks good.

Big ol white trash sugarcane fed Florida booty... take it from a Floridian, there's nothing quite like it.

[L33Tg33k]

Something about nighttime makes me more sad and I don’t know what to do about it. The internet is the only place I can share the feeling and it leads to more self destructive thoughts. I just don’t want want to be alone anymore. Also sex. I guess that would be nice too. Seriously thinking about creating a fund just for Tijuana hookers. Hopefully I can get through the emotional stuff with just my therapist. Maybe one of the prostitutes has a heart of gold and will listen to me. I don’t know how I feel about falling in love with a pro though.

[GnarAlarm]

Something about nighttime makes me more sad and I don’t know what to do about it. The internet is the only place I can share the feeling and it leads to more self destructive thoughts. I just don’t want want to be alone anymore. Also sex. I guess that would be nice too. Seriously thinking about creating a fund just for Tijuana hookers. Hopefully I can get through the emotional stuff with just my therapist. Maybe one of the prostitutes has a heart of gold and will listen to me. I don’t know how I feel about falling in love with a pro though.

Damn. You ever try Tinder or anything? I guess it sounds obvious and corny but it could work? I dated a girl I met on Tinder for 3 years, it's only a hookup app if you want a hookup, you can find relationships on there too.

[switchfakie]

Something about nighttime makes me more sad and I don’t know what to do about it. The internet is the only place I can share the feeling and it leads to more self destructive thoughts. I just don’t want want to be alone anymore. Also sex. I guess that would be nice too. Seriously thinking about creating a fund just for Tijuana hookers. Hopefully I can get through the emotional stuff with just my therapist. Maybe one of the prostitutes has a heart of gold and will listen to me. I don’t know how I feel about falling in love with a pro though.

stop watching porn dude, that will improve your life and confidence 1000%

if you have a hard time quitting, that just proves my point that its a problem in your life

talking to hookers is literally the dumbest thing ive ever heard. i know theyre people but thats some holden caulfield type depressed shit bro. and ive come to the conclusion that most men of this internet era are socially anxious/depressed due to their porn addiction

[breezy_again]

i just pooped out a softball

[doublesteveburger]

nice