Author Topic: Hobo Showdowns and other random residence-less madness (Read 4070 times)

pugmaster · « **on:** August 06, 2011, 08:04:46 PM »

On my way to the liquor store tonight, I came across a drunken homeless man. Men like this are, in my opinion, the salt of any urban society.

In a stupor already, he inquired as to whether or not I was a cop. And proceeded to tell me he was a Millionaire with an old retirement home, that he only rented out to young women.

Being that skateboarders come into contact with the homeless on a regular basis, I was hoping some PALS could share some stories.

Hobo showdowns, defecation glimpses, etc are welcome.

David · « **Reply #1 on:** August 07, 2011, 09:07:16 AM »

The homeless have it brutal in Texas. Scorching hot in the summer and freezing in the winter. I had to do labor detail during the winter and they made some people go to spots where the homeless hang out and take everything they had. Mattesses, blankets, cooking pots, all of it was tossed onto the back of a truck and hauled off. They take everything these people owned and used to survive and simply threw it into the trash. Without those blankets the winter must have been unbearable. Was not stoked. Luckily I was never in the group that had to that sort of thing.

My friend collects poetry written by a homeless guy named 'Mean Gene'. His poetry goes something like, "Run amok and don't give a fuck" and "...pussy is the key to your humanity". There's pages of the stuff.

In Brazil I've seen a lot more homeless children in the streets than in the states. Much sadness and misery.

On a lighter note I have seen a homeless couple have sex in public, which was pretty spectacular.

Hobo Paradise -->

thugnificent · « **Reply #2 on:** August 07, 2011, 09:31:29 AM »

Quote from: David on August 07, 2011, 09:07:16 AM

The homeless have it brutal in Texas. Scorching hot in the summer and freezing in the winter.

wat

David · « **Reply #3 on:** August 07, 2011, 09:49:49 AM »

In North Texas it freezes and snows briefly. roads will get iced over.
It's not Fargo, but it still gets cold.

Paper Crane · « **Reply #4 on:** August 07, 2011, 10:18:52 AM »

this dude named bingo lived behind a loading dock spot in a shagwagon. i guess the cops/owners never tripped on the van being parked there. one day we were skating the dock and bingo rolls up from around the corner on a motorized wheelchair. he was so psyched on it and kept yelling 'bad n rad, bad n rad!' he took the damn thing off the dock and hit the cement face-first. beer and glass everywhere. while getting up he mumbled, 'shit, biff!' and a tire rolled away.

Locbrew · « **Reply #5 on:** August 07, 2011, 10:52:45 AM »

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Harrill

This guys story is pretty cool up to the point that someone murdered him.

e.d. · « **Reply #6 on:** August 07, 2011, 11:14:45 AM »

Had a rental car window get smashed and some guy called the cops for me and my friends (we were in a foreign country). While he was on the phone we found a bum jacking off in the stairwell. We just thought it was weird, and were talking about why he was facing the window, why he wasn't more hidden, etc. Somehow the cops ended up coming becasue of the bum, but didn't care about our situation. I guess the guy on the phone told them about him? Either way, it sucked driving a car with broken glass all over it right in front of the bum that was asked to leave before he could finish.
not a very good story, sorry.

Donkey Lips · « **Reply #7 on:** August 07, 2011, 02:23:58 PM »

Had a regular guy named "Jungle" that would sleep on the benches we skated. He got free coffee from dunkin donuts every day. He lost his foot in 'nam. He told us to fuck as many girls as we could before we lose a limb, because it's harder after that.

pugmaster · « **Reply #8 on:** August 07, 2011, 08:47:03 PM »

Maybe this dude I came across isn't homeless. I saw him again at the liquor store and talked for 2 hours about how fucked up America is. He told me he was a musician and I found some vids online

*He made it perfectly clear to pronounce his name BO-man and not BOW-man

Rafiki · « **Reply #9 on:** August 07, 2011, 10:15:59 PM »

This homeless man named bull lives in a shack behind the tattoo shop I go to,ive had many a good conspiracy talks with him.
Me and my girlfriend even brought him dinner on thanksgiving

popsiclesandskatin · « **Reply #10 on:** August 08, 2011, 11:25:56 AM »

Me and some friends were skating a bench to bench spot and some hobos sat on one of the benches and watched us skate then one started talking to me asking how the board stays to our feet and stuff like that, then they gave us an unopened 2 liter of mountain dew and headed out.

We have this one bum Bernie who collects cans all day. He lives in a decent house and has a trailer he pulls around on his bike. Hes always washing at Mcdonalds.

Eschaton · « **Reply #11 on:** August 08, 2011, 11:51:28 AM »

That Robert Harrill guy lived a crazy life. If our economy crashes harder, we'll all be living like him. We should just start some big skate house squat house.

Donkey Lips · « **Reply #12 on:** August 08, 2011, 11:57:06 AM »

No way I wouldn't want to live with any of you.

vegan*shawn · « **Reply #13 on:** August 08, 2011, 01:42:40 PM »

I got chased by a homeless guy with a knife one time, he was pissed I woke up him with my skating (it was 3 in the morning), I just skated away laughing at him. Last time I was in SF I saw a women walking down the st with only a tank top on and diarrhea running down the back of her legs.

beef stroganoff · « **Reply #14 on:** August 21, 2011, 06:41:15 PM »

Quote from: e.d. on August 07, 2011, 11:14:45 AM

Had a rental car window get smashed and some guy called the cops for me and my friends (we were in a foreign country). While he was on the phone we found a bum jacking off in the stairwell. We just thought it was weird, and were talking about why he was facing the window, why he wasn't more hidden, etc. Somehow the cops ended up coming becasue of the bum, but didn't care about our situation. I guess the guy on the phone told them about him? Either way, it sucked driving a car with broken glass all over it right in front of the bum that was asked to leave before he could finish.
not a very good story, sorry.

bentmode · « **Reply #15 on:** August 22, 2011, 08:27:05 AM »

Quote from: tough omelette on August 07, 2011, 10:18:52 AM

this dude named bingo lived behind a loading dock spot in a shagwagon. i guess the cops/owners never tripped on the van being parked there. one day we were skating the dock and bingo rolls up from around the corner on a motorized wheelchair. he was so psyched on it and kept yelling 'bad n rad, bad n rad!' he took the damn thing off the dock and hit the cement face-first. beer and glass everywhere. while getting up he mumbled, 'shit, biff!' and a tire rolled away.

Foo, tell them about the wheelchair shadowboxer the night I got schmittied.

pinche gringo · « **Reply #16 on:** August 22, 2011, 03:18:21 PM »

Quote from: Donkey Lips on August 07, 2011, 02:23:58 PM

Had a regular guy named "Jungle" that would sleep on the benches we skated. He got free coffee from dunkin donuts every day. He lost his foot in 'nam. He told us to fuck as many girls as we could before we lose a limb, because it's harder after that.

Sound advice.

Edit: Might as well contribute. In Visalia there was a homeless dude named August/Auggie. As the story goes, he saved enough money to put his children through college, put it in a bank account for them, and chose to be homeless. He would fix people's TV's and electronics, you would see him walking everywhere with something on a rolling cart or just lounging in the grass on a random corner. He would flip you off if you waved to him or acknowledged him in any way. One day my friends and I were in Taco Bell and Auggie was behind us in line. Straight faced my friend Glen turns to him and says, "Hey Auggie, you got a quarter?" He pulled out a quarter and gave it to him without saying a word.

BraveUlysses · « **Reply #17 on:** August 22, 2011, 03:55:16 PM »

I don't know if he was homeless but some old dirty dude just started pissing right where I was trying to skate. I was bummed. The same dude said something to me one time while I was on my way home but I couldn't understand him and just assumed he said a joke or something like that so I laughed

Spike Hawke · « **Reply #18 on:** August 22, 2011, 04:14:07 PM »

middle of winter in a freezing Scotland, skating this grotty underground carpark, the kinda place that gives you black bogeys from the grime and pollution. noticed that one of the huge wheely bins had the lid propped open like an inch, didnt think much of it untill some rummaging starts coming from it and the lid opens up and some gnarly bearded dude sticks his head out and starts "h'min, fuck off, i'm tryin tae fuckin sleep". most the homless dudes around here are to smacked up to hassle you, just ask for money

morbidly obese tortoise · « **Reply #19 on:** August 23, 2011, 07:14:40 AM »

A couple years ago in NYC, I was standing at a crosswalk at 2 AM, waiting for the light to change. Everyone was running across the street even though the light was green. I looked over to my right and some Hispanic guy with a beard and axe was yelling, "You killed my children!"

finknoos · « **Reply #20 on:** August 23, 2011, 07:38:03 AM »

theres a guy who lives in a boat near my house so technically not homeless but he is still a bum.

the boats royally fucked up and he lives with about 20 cats, ive been told by his neighbours that he is only alive because he eats squirells and rats that he sees- seen him chasing after them with a meat cleaver and a net.

once when i was drunk i decides i should speak to him, turns out he thinks hes prince albert and is 3rd inline for the throne, and that there is a giant hole under the city i live in, and in his boat he has a button that can make the whole town fall into the hole like an implosion.

the next day he mustve forgotten about out little chat because he started chasing ME with his meat cleaver, good thing i can jump fences and his cleaver wasnt sharp enough to hack through them quickly

Skatan. · « **Reply #21 on:** August 24, 2011, 02:02:13 AM »

I was at Jack'n the box with a few friends when a bum named eddy came in and started talking to us.
This guy had some crazy story's... first he was talking about how he was a pro nascar/street biker racer and how he was rich,
then in the same breath told us he was a pro frisbee player and how he could spin a frisbee like a quarter on his chin and also on his teeth haha.
So after chatting with this guy for like 15 minutes i decided to buy him something to eat, needless to say he was super stoked.

So i bought him a burger and a drink, when he got his food he insisted that he also got fries and started yelling at the workers.
when they told him to leave he took the the bag of food and threw it behind the counter haha.

so much for trying to be a good guy and buying a bum something to eat ha.

pugmaster · « **Reply #22 on:** May 15, 2023, 06:12:15 PM »

Given the dramatic increase in the housing crisis, I have decided to bump this thread.

modern life is war · « **Reply #23 on:** May 15, 2023, 06:53:17 PM »

I like the alcoholic hobos who have a bit more dignity and are less deranged than the meth/fentanyl/crack addict hobos who are just on another planet. Alcoholic hobos are what this country was built on. There is one in my neighborhood who I usually give a dollar when I see him and every time he'll talk about how happy he is to be in California instead of Michigan where he was born because Michigan is so cold. One time I was getting home from work and had a 6 pack and he asked for one and I gave him one, I'm sure one extra beer wouldn't hurt him and it's at least better than the malt liquor he usually drinks.

Doom patrol · « **Reply #24 on:** May 15, 2023, 08:26:42 PM »

My old home town had a guy named Pete who has been wandering around the CBD at least 25 years. He would refuse any money or anything you offer him but if I just left food or coins on the bench next to him and didn't try to talk to him he would scoop them up. I used to be buy chicken twisties and bananas to put next to him with my change because I noticed he liked them. His hair was fussed into one big flat dreadlock that looked like a beaver tail.
I don't know if he's still alive, unbelievable he has made it this long.

Mean salto · « **Reply #25 on:** May 15, 2023, 09:27:18 PM »

One time skating a little plaza spot these two homeless guys came in and went around asking everyone for money. One was being friendly and the other getting in people's faces and being aggressive. After not really getting anything aggressive guy just drops his pants and starts taking a shit in the middle of the spot. Seeing this friendly guy is like mate wtf and just runs up and punts the guy up the ass. Now they both have shit all over their legs and are scraping it off on the benches. Ended the session and cleared out all the skaters faster than any security ever could.

Other than this one crazy thing homelessness really bums me out (altho that story def doesn't make me happy either) and I constantly think about how I'll survive if I get put in that position

ungzilla · « **Reply #26 on:** May 16, 2023, 05:10:37 AM »

the ole good bum bad bum routine

BurgerCop · « **Reply #27 on:** May 16, 2023, 10:51:14 AM »

Skating this downtown ledge spot in an alley, clearly homeless guy walks through and asks for a cigarette.
I gave him one and he started complaining that someone stole his tools and now he can't work.
We express our sympathy for his loss and he goes on to lament that he had a contract with a company that was going to pay him 31 billion dollars (yes, BILLION with a B) to build them the tallest skyscraper in all of South Carolina, but now that his tools are stolen he can't do it. (also, we are not in South Carolina, we're 1,000+ miles from South Carolina)

pugmaster · « **Reply #28 on:** May 16, 2023, 12:25:39 PM »

Perhaps he was already in Carolina in his mind.

matty_c · « **Reply #29 on:** May 18, 2023, 12:15:43 AM »

When I was a kid there was this Asian guy that would walk around town. He wore one of those conical sort of hats like those ones you see in Vietnam war movies. He would collect cans. I forget his name

Anyway he’s at the bowls club one afternoon playing the pokies and he’s lost all his money and walks out. No shit he comes back twenty minutes later with a tomahawk, just walks in doesn’t say a word to anyone and he just starts hacking at the machine he was playing. Smashes fuck out of it

Author Topic: Hobo Showdowns and other random residence-less madness (Read 4070 times)

thugnificent

BraveUlysses