Author Topic: KELCH JOKES  (Read 10074 times)

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Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #90 on: January 09, 2007, 01:34:12 PM »
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The bones brigade skates it in "The Search for Animal Chin."

And the incident you saw with Karl is what happens when a lot of big name skateboarders skate a spot in a well known area of a well known skate town that is getting coverage in every magazine and video. THEY blew it out themselves. Deal with it and try not to get to pissed at the tourists, or skate somewhere else.
Oh, and people understood this happened a while before EMB. Thats why pools were kept secret as early as the 70's. You blow out a spot, it becomes to crowded and eventually you have a cop car parked in the middle of the spot.
[close]

back on topic.

what do women and kentucky fried chicken have in common?

once you get past the legs and breast all you're left with is a dirty box.

You got the punchline wrong.

ONce you get through the breastss and thighs you got a greasy box to stick your bone in.

Thats the punchline.
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #91 on: January 09, 2007, 01:35:23 PM »
What did one tampon say to the other as they passed eachother on the street?

Nothin'

They were both stuck up cunts.

What did one condom say to the other as they passed the gay bar?

Want to go in their and get shitfaced?
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

otis b driftwood

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #92 on: January 09, 2007, 01:43:25 PM »
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The bones brigade skates it in "The Search for Animal Chin."

And the incident you saw with Karl is what happens when a lot of big name skateboarders skate a spot in a well known area of a well known skate town that is getting coverage in every magazine and video. THEY blew it out themselves. Deal with it and try not to get to pissed at the tourists, or skate somewhere else.
Oh, and people understood this happened a while before EMB. Thats why pools were kept secret as early as the 70's. You blow out a spot, it becomes to crowded and eventually you have a cop car parked in the middle of the spot.
[close]

back on topic.

what do women and kentucky fried chicken have in common?

once you get past the legs and breast all you're left with is a dirty box.
[close]

You got the punchline wrong.

ONce you get through the breastss and thighs you got a greasy box to stick your bone in.

Thats the punchline.

i don't like that version.

some redneck truck driver guy is driving though some backward part of the US at night with his cargo, he's pretty bored and see's a hitcher so he stops to pick him up.
when the guy starts climbing in he realises he's black and he doesn't want him to sit in the cab so he tells him there's no room and lets him into the trailer with the cargo.
A couple of hours later he runs into a police checkpoint and lets them into the trailer to check it forgetting to tell them about his passenger, next thing he hears some shots going off and runs round to what's going on.
"what the fuck are you shooting at?, it was only bowling balls."

"son, they weren't bowling balls, they were nigger eggs and one of them had hatched"

Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #93 on: January 09, 2007, 01:45:38 PM »
You don't want to stick your bone in a greasy box?
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

otis b driftwood

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #94 on: January 09, 2007, 01:46:41 PM »
You don't want to stick your bone in a greasy box?

yeah, i just think my version is more offensive.

Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #95 on: January 09, 2007, 01:49:41 PM »
Really? mine has penitration. But you can't argue whats funny. NOw people have both versions.
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

Sleazy

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #96 on: January 09, 2007, 01:52:39 PM »
how do you get four gay guys to sit on a bar stool?




turn it over

Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #97 on: January 09, 2007, 01:54:33 PM »
If a girl with big boobs works at hooters then where does a girl with one leg work?











IHOP
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
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Sleazy

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #98 on: January 09, 2007, 02:01:13 PM »
The Sorority chic mating call

"I'm so drunk..."

ymhy

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #99 on: January 09, 2007, 03:02:19 PM »
wow, people/fags (turkeylurkey and kev, what a surprise) are actually hating on kelch

this kind of faggotry is exactly what happens when all the kelch's are no longer around to keep wack ass fools in check

ymhy

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #100 on: January 09, 2007, 03:03:26 PM »
see, skateboarding is full of pansy assed free-thinking, peace loving, liberal faggots who dont understand how necessary vibing is

kev

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #101 on: January 09, 2007, 03:04:31 PM »
Go play football, jock.

biggums mcgee

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #102 on: January 09, 2007, 03:04:48 PM »
see, skateboarding is full of pansy assed free-thinking, peace loving, liberal faggots who dont understand how necessary vibing is

shut the fuck up

ymhy

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #103 on: January 09, 2007, 03:06:17 PM »
you only serve to illustrate my point.

ymhy

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #104 on: January 09, 2007, 03:06:31 PM »
you're all like my little pawns and you dont even know it

biggums mcgee

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #105 on: January 09, 2007, 03:16:56 PM »
your pawns? wait, where is mizzark again?

ymhy

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #106 on: January 09, 2007, 03:18:04 PM »
beginning to wonder the same thing myself, the bitch should have been here with that dutch by now

mungojerry

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #107 on: January 09, 2007, 03:23:35 PM »
My whole life Ive been ignored. If I tell them there my Pawns, Theyll only want to pay attention to me more. Finally!

MAGIK INC GROUPIE

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #108 on: January 09, 2007, 06:44:16 PM »
Nah, Sleazy's on point. Jock alpha dog bullshit. Security guards should be the only ones kicking people out of spots or giving them shit. You got a problem with who is skating your favorite spot today? Skate somewhere else. Don't get agro. Also, saying that somebody is a pussy for calling somebody else out in an arena where violence is not an option is a SUPER JOCK thing to say. Its another way of saying "You are smarter than me, and are making me feel stupid/bad about myself, I wish that I could rely on my only means of defense, which is brute force." Pretty jockish.
I got nothing against joking around or being a smartass. If that's all that went down with the vibing at EMB I would be fine with it. But that shit Sanch is saying about getting clotheslined or kids boards dissapearing (I'll assume it was sponsored kids taking boards from kids who had to pay full price- a real classy move) just can not be cool at any level.
Did you guys not know that the EMB crew was just as despised as it was admired?

 Say what ya will, we were kids, NOT ADULTS!!! Of course we don't carry ourselves  like that now but back then we were sav's. It's just a funny thing to reflect on, nothing to get emo over.

stagefright

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #109 on: January 10, 2007, 01:16:31 AM »
ymhy is right, look at how good emb locals were, all of them. you need the vibing to weed out the wack ass ones. just like on here, there are so many pieces of shit that they just back each other up and never learn. its old news but some people dont get it. ronsom lambert and austen seaholm are a couple of examples of the effect.
we toked a marley and i split back to the park, minding my own busineess when a rollerblader mean mugs..i let it go.

Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #110 on: January 10, 2007, 01:57:52 AM »
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Nah, Sleazy's on point. Jock alpha dog bullshit. Security guards should be the only ones kicking people out of spots or giving them shit. You got a problem with who is skating your favorite spot today? Skate somewhere else. Don't get agro. Also, saying that somebody is a pussy for calling somebody else out in an arena where violence is not an option is a SUPER JOCK thing to say. Its another way of saying "You are smarter than me, and are making me feel stupid/bad about myself, I wish that I could rely on my only means of defense, which is brute force." Pretty jockish.
I got nothing against joking around or being a smartass. If that's all that went down with the vibing at EMB I would be fine with it. But that shit Sanch is saying about getting clotheslined or kids boards dissapearing (I'll assume it was sponsored kids taking boards from kids who had to pay full price- a real classy move) just can not be cool at any level.
Did you guys not know that the EMB crew was just as despised as it was admired?
[close]

 Say what ya will, we were kids, NOT ADULTS!!! Of course we don't carry ourselves  like that now but back then we were sav's. It's just a funny thing to reflect on, nothing to get emo over.
Thats true. I did some stupid shit when I was a kid too, it just seems super glorified, and I'd prefer it if shit like that stayed in the past
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

donnie_murdo

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #111 on: January 10, 2007, 06:37:28 AM »
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Expand Quote
Nah, Sleazy's on point. Jock alpha dog bullshit. Security guards should be the only ones kicking people out of spots or giving them shit. You got a problem with who is skating your favorite spot today? Skate somewhere else. Don't get agro. Also, saying that somebody is a pussy for calling somebody else out in an arena where violence is not an option is a SUPER JOCK thing to say. Its another way of saying "You are smarter than me, and are making me feel stupid/bad about myself, I wish that I could rely on my only means of defense, which is brute force." Pretty jockish.
I got nothing against joking around or being a smartass. If that's all that went down with the vibing at EMB I would be fine with it. But that shit Sanch is saying about getting clotheslined or kids boards dissapearing (I'll assume it was sponsored kids taking boards from kids who had to pay full price- a real classy move) just can not be cool at any level.
Did you guys not know that the EMB crew was just as despised as it was admired?
[close]

 Say what ya will, we were kids, NOT ADULTS!!! Of course we don't carry ourselves  like that now but back then we were sav's. It's just a funny thing to reflect on, nothing to get emo over.
[close]
Thats true. I did some stupid shit when I was a kid too, it just seems super glorified, and I'd prefer it if shit like that stayed in the past

I think till you reach your 20's you do, do a lot of dumb shit that you can't really justify, however, when i was about 19 after leaving school i realised that the amount of bunking school and dumb shit i had done was pretty school then went to college and re-did pretty much 90% of the education i'd missed due to not going to school or basically not caring....

Nothing like torn ligaments and a broken to fuck ankle to make you reassess stupidity
...can't believe this thread brought Donnie Murdo out of the woodwork!

Sleazy

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #112 on: January 10, 2007, 07:28:10 AM »
It kind of reminds me of that surf movie with the suft jocks who beat the shit out of non-locals for dropping in on people. I am so glad I haven't been to a spot where you can get beat down for not being a local and not knowing what time it is.

ymhy

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #113 on: January 10, 2007, 08:32:20 AM »
point break?

Sleazy

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #114 on: January 10, 2007, 08:49:58 AM »
probably that too but I was talking about an actual real surfing flick about the hawaii locals who have that one over tatted, over serious, Mike V type guy who regulates the beach and beats the shit out of tourist who don't know how things work. It's really tight because not only do the tourist get beat down, it's then shared with the whole world in popular surfing videos for added humiliation.

Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #115 on: January 10, 2007, 01:51:44 PM »
Surfers are total jock assholes. Any sort of myth about the laid back surfer dude is bullshit. Those guys are like football players in wetsuits.
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

slumper

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Re: KELCH JOKES
« Reply #116 on: January 10, 2007, 03:34:50 PM »
Kelch didn't make emb. Emb made Kelch

this is the funniest joke in the whole thread.