Awkward/Awful Roommate Stories

[posguy]

So we've all had awkward/awful roommates at one time or another. Post up your stories here! I've got quite a few but I will leave two here to start out.

1) So this was awkward at the time but looking back, pretty awesome. My two roommates who moved into the apartment in Philly became great friends. One was gay and the other was bi and had a girlfriend. This didn't stop them from being amazing roommates. One time when I was in my room they committed to standing outside my door for a good 5-10 minutes before I walked out and to my surprise, one was on his knees in front of the other one who was completely naked. They just looked up at me and laughed and walked back into their room.


2) Fuck this guy. I knew this guy Andrew for a bit before moving in with him. Looking back all the warning signs were there and I was an idiot for not seeing them. Bottom line is this guy was possibly the biggest piece of shit in the world. I should've expected everything that followed due to his looking like an abercrombie model as well as working there... what the fuck was I thinking?! Quick rundown of the shit he pulled
- broke up with his girlfriend on a weekly basis. The breakups got progressively worse. First was a simple door shut. Then a mild hard closing of the door. Then a hard slam. Then a hard slam so hard it shook the frame. She would sit outside and kick our door. She slept outside our door a couple times. All a while he would tell me not to go out for fear of her getting in. She probably knew he was cheating on her. She ended up breaking our door frame.
- He was an absolute pig. Never cleaned up his room or his dishes, which were mine, and continually brought them into his room so I would end up not having any dishes. I came back to grab some stuff after moving out and peeked around his room, he had fruit flies in his closet from chinese food containers that were moldy, stains all on the carpet, the management said he had completely ruined the carpet in there and they had to re-carpet the whole room.
- He put some weird brown foundation kind of stuff all over his body and then proceeded to use my towels, which were white of course. Then denied it and blamed it on his girlfriend.
- shit in the bathtub one night, denied it was him, blamed it on me.
- Never moved his shit out.
-

Kicker was since I was the more "repsonsible" (right?! haha) person, I headed up the contract and put my forwarding address. Well they sent me the security deposit minus what they paid to fix the room/get his stuff out of there but they didn't fine us for breaking the lease, so the end amount was $700-$800. I had established that I wanted out of this situation as quickly as possible and his parents were MIA and he would mediate between us but I didn't trust him so I kept logging reports with out apartment. Guess they felt bad for me and were disgusted by him so they rewarded me. The check had his name, my name and our parents names. I went and deposited that shit in the ATM and tell him it never arrived. He talked to the management and they outed me and he got all bitchy claiming fraud till I said my name was on it too and I had deposited it via ATM so he had nothing on me. Tried to give me some money a little bit later but I didn't give a shit and didn't meet up. I heard he went to jail for insurance fraud or something. Karma was kind to me that day.

[dillanharp]

When I was 19, my roommate was 24 and refused to buy me beer.

My last roommates grew pot when the lease and pg&e were in my name, hiked the bill way up.

One of them would go to the gym everyday, come home and put his sweaty ass clothes in the dryer. 

I'm glad I'm married.

[YeRpSTAinZ]

awhile ago ole gipper posted something about having a suicidal roommate

go figure, id kill myself if i were with him too

[The Nose Face]

- He put some weird brown foundation kind of stuff all over his body and then proceeded to use my towels, which were white of course. Then denied it and blamed it on his girlfriend.

"...Well you watched me wash em!"
"I watched you get em' wet!"

[cookieboy]

awhile ago ole gipper posted something about having a suicidal roommate

go figure, id kill myself if i were with him too

I also had a "lesbian" housemate who threatened to kill herself several times. So glad she left.

[Cadillac Ranch Dressing]

I had a roommate who would blast "Brick House" on repeat at 8:30 in the morning. He would also cough until he threw up, all while there was a TB scare on my campus.

[get gnarly]

One night freshman year I got black out drunk and was acting stupid so my friend put me to bed in my dorm room. He was worried I may have had alcohol poisoning or drown in my puke so he came to check on me a few hours later. He opened the door and saw my roommate pulling his pud in the dark with me passed out in my bed. Never felt completely comfortable falling asleep from that point on.

[Fongstarr.]

I roommated with a girl for a year. Let's just say she got made every month for no reason. Fucking drove me insane. I brought a girl home once and she went off on me just yelling how rude it was. As payback, she literally brought a guy home and was extra loud for no reason.

[Mr. Kamikazi]

This thread rules:

So I went to Community College for two years and got an associates degree in Fine Arts, only to decide that being an art teacher is impossible these days, due to the fact that the GOP puts little value in education in general, and since "art is hardly a subject"�

I am currently a Social Work Major at a state school, and my first year here, I roomed with a friend and three other people I did not know. To tell you the truth, I had it really good. These roommates were people that were either working on their Masters degree or about to graduate, except one fuck, who basically went to school to party and be a slag in every shape and form.

So to make a long story short, when the time came for the electric to be put in someone's name, I agreed, as I knew that it would get done, blah blah blah, and this guy, barely knowing me, began to immediately short me or ask for money to cover him, but he would always be smoking weed, making steaks, and drinking beer.

My idiot manager called me the pussy and said that kid is doing the right thing, living it up, but I lost it. When the time came to move out, he shorted me 70.00, and never returned my texts, so him being the last one to move out and room unlocked, I poured a bunch of trash in his room, that he left around the house, and kindly left the landlord a note.

The best part is that I did get my security deposit back.

All in all, fuck roommates, no matter what, live by yourself, commute like I do, and you'll maintain sanity.

[straight]

Long story short: I had a roommate that dated this slutty chick. Fucking annoying bitch thinking her shit don't stink. They would fuck in his room and she was so obnoxiously loud. His bed was super squeaky and by the sound of the squeak, he must of been humping at the speed of light. Also his bed was on wheels and you could hear it rolling around the room on the wood floors. Must have been kind of fun for him I guess but it really irked me. They would break up on the daily and he would lock her out and she'd be yelling screaming and crying Nd banging to let her in. This was every other day until one time she got the nerve to dookie on our front door mat. My other roommate takes a pic of it and posts it on Facebook and tags her in it with the caption "I think my roommate just got dumped". And I haven't seen her since.

[posguy]

Long story short: I had a roommate that dated this slutty chick. Fucking annoying bitch thinking her shit don't stink. They would fuck in his room and she was so obnoxiously loud. His bed was super squeaky and by the sound of the squeak, he must of been humping at the speed of light. Also his bed was on wheels and you could hear it rolling around the room on the wood floors. Must have been kind of fun for him I guess but it really irked me. They would break up on the daily and he would lock her out and she'd be yelling screaming and crying Nd banging to let her in. This was every other day until one time she got the nerve to dookie on our front door mat. My other roommate takes a pic of it and posts it on Facebook and tags her in it with the caption "I think my roommate just got dumped". And I haven't seen her since.

Bahaha was his name Andrew? That sounds too similar to the shit my shitty ex roommate was.

[Fongstarr.]

All in all, fuck roommates, no matter what, live by yourself, commute like I do, and you'll maintain sanity.

Totally agree. I live in SF and if I didn't have rent control, I'd probably rather live far away by myself rather than live with a roommate.

[straight]

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All in all, fuck roommates, no matter what, live by yourself, commute like I do, and you'll maintain sanity.

[close]

Totally agree. I live in SF and if I didn't have rent control, I'd probably rather live far away by myself rather than live with a roommate.

You never know how shitty a person is until you live with em

[EXTRA SPICY]

On behalf of bentmode, I'll turn this thread around from being full of people bitching to owning up to myself being a shitty roommate.

Bentmode and I lived together for like 3 or so years i think? Maybe more?
Lemme begin

1.) Homeboy would work at 6am and would ride his bike a solid 8 miles to work, so you factor in awaking, showering, and ride time you've got to be out the door no later than 515am. My sole means of income was selling pot and I had very little financial responsibilities outside of rent, I would stay up loud as fuck constantly until 2 in the morning. My bad dude.

2.) After waking up at like 4:30am, working all day, and riding home, I would still harp home boy to go skate every fucking day. Understandable anyone would be tired, but I was a delinquent at the time and had not experienced working mornings. Not comprehending his exhaustion I would talk mad shit about the lack of skating being done over other activities such as watching laker games. Douche move on my part, whoops!

3.) Dude dated this older college chick who was really into the more refined things in life: theatrical performance, poetry, independent movies, photography, etc gayness. Instead of complimenting and encouraging happiness being found for a friend, I would showcase the amount of gayness going down at the time (beyond this though i still think all that shit is lame as all fuck). Blowing it on my part again.

4.) Inb4 more regular shit I did/do. Sorry in advance bro.



Who else is going to own up?

[givecigstosurfgroms]

one roomate admitted raping a chick he piked up at a bar -threw his shit outside moved him out.   I have another story thats funny tho I had a beautiful italian roomate and i got home and she was happily cleaning the kitchen and she asked me, "hey what are these little tiny brown things and the bottom cuboard?" and she holding some of it and I said, "thats mouse shit" and the look on her face was priceless.

[Tracer]

I lived with Germans a few years ago and they would put their shoes in the dryer, asking is that annoying?  Yeaah it's annoying considering if you clog your shoes with newspaper it's dry. They also spoke German which is annoying in any language, I picked it up a bit but still. Plus side they were organized, and hardworkers, I would recommend Germans over most foreign cultures.

Living with a black guy from Grenada was awful. He smelled like crap and actually did shit in a bag at work and tossed it because he didn't want to stink up the break room (who the fuck cares?)

Fools talking about live by yourself, not everyone has $900 monthly to rent a city apartment, it's much better if you can split a house with actual breathing room and freedom. Bigger it goes more cost effective it gets. I would rather live with 6 peeople in a 4 bedroom than 3 in a 2 bedroom

[shark tits]

you got lucky tracer. i seen germans on the internet putting glass jars up they ass and shit. shoes in the dryer and not ass blood on the linoleum? i'd say  you got off light.

[Tracer]

you got lucky tracer. i seen germans on the internet putting glass jars up they ass and shit. shoes in the dryer and not ass blood on the linoleum? i'd say  you got off light.

That's a bad roomy no doubt. There's 80 Million Germans so there's no equal there, I've seen polar opposites on both ends.

On the whole Germans work hard and are smart. Caribbean residents though, lazy and unsanitary. I could care less about your bodily health just keep the place clean.

[Chris Hansen is back]

Tracism.

[ohhyess]

I found kiddy porn on my ex roommates computer one time while he was at work. A whole hard drive dedicated to that shit. It made me sick to my stomach when I finally realized what it was. I ended bailing at the end of the month and haven't seen this dude for over a decade now. Everything about this dude's personality started to make sense after that whole episode. I've been on the solo tip ever since.

[Rusty_Berrings]

i banged my first college roommates girlfriend after she dumped him. guess that probably makes me a pretty terrible roommate.

[shark tits]

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you got lucky tracer. i seen germans on the internet putting glass jars up they ass and shit. shoes in the dryer and not ass blood on the linoleum? i'd say  you got off light.

[close]

That's a bad roomy no doubt. There's 80 Million Germans so there's no equal there, I've seen polar opposites on both ends.

On the whole Germans work hard and are smart. Caribbean residents though, lazy and unsanitary. I could care less about your bodily health just keep the place clean.

80 million guys, 80 million jars

[Willie]

Freshman year of college I had a roommate called B-Dog from Dorchester, MA. Total Southie who would say shit like "yeah, I hate all minorities, I once pushed a black kid in front of a train" and "is he a fuckin Jew?!" and "are you tryin ta kike me?".


He could put away a 20 beers in a night, which eventually led to me coming home one morning with him standing there naked saying "I pissed my fuckin bed!", an event that was repeated a handful of times. I'd come home from an early class and see his black comforter hanging over the dorm balcony steaming in the frigid winter air.


There was a stretch where the remote to his TV was lost, which he accused us of doing so he would constantly harangue us with "Where's my fuckin clicka?!!" (He later sheepishly admitted finding it under his bed)

He didn't like me much but he disliked my other roommates more, emptying his ashtray on my one roommate's bed and possibly pissing on it too. Eventually my other roommates moved out.

One morning my girlfriend woke up and realized B-Dog was peeking in the door to my room watching her sleep.

Eventually, he got kicked out of the dorm for puking off the balcony onto someone's head. I ended up with a quad to myself.


While he was a terrible roommate I didnt really think he was a bad guy (virulent racism aside). He hated the school and felt out of place. He was a jock but seemed to hate most of the other jocks, had a surprisingly deep knowledge of film - which he seemed to have a passion for but was embarrassed about (probably not cool in Southie), and he would sing along with The Smiths in the shower NOTE PERFECTLY.

Maybe he's still out there crooning "Do you have a vacancy - for a - back-scrubber?"

[Yushin Okami]

I've lived with some real dirtbags.

One house I was responsible for gathering money from everyone to pay rent, bills, etc... and my friend was ALWAYS short or late. After months I finally lost it and yelled, "What the fuck, you're an adult, how do you not have $70 after a week of me harping on you" to which he responded, "because I have a cocaine problem, what do you want from me???"

Same house, different dirtag who decided to live with his girlfriend and moved out and while I was at work. I sent him a text asking if everything went ok and if his room was cleaned out and he responded with, "Yep, got everything. I left something to toss out with the trash in the living room, hope you don't mind" and I came to this...



Once I got out of that house I decided to live alone moving forward.

[okdad]

I lived with Germans a few years ago and they would put their shoes in the dryer, asking is that annoying?  Yeaah it's annoying considering if you clog your shoes with newspaper it's dry.

The dryer is much more effective than newspaper. I don't see what's annoying about that.

[rob2]

Freshman year of college I had a roommate called B-Dog from Dorchester, MA. Total Southie who would say shit like "yeah, I hate all minorities, I once pushed a black kid in front of a train" and "is he a fuckin Jew?!" and "are you tryin ta kike me?".


He could put away a 20 beers in a night, which eventually led to me coming home one morning with him standing there naked saying "I pissed my fuckin bed!", an event that was repeated a handful of times. I'd come home from an early class and see his black comforter hanging over the dorm balcony steaming in the frigid winter air.


There was a stretch where the remote to his TV was lost, which he accused us of doing so he would constantly harangue us with "Where's my fuckin clicka?!!" (He later sheepishly admitted finding it under his bed)

He didn't like me much but he disliked my other roommates more, emptying his ashtray on my one roommate's bed and possibly pissing on it too. Eventually my other roommates moved out.

One morning my girlfriend woke up and realized B-Dog was peeking in the door to my room watching her sleep.

Eventually, he got kicked out of the dorm for puking off the balcony onto someone's head. I ended up with a quad to myself.


While he was a terrible roommate I didnt really think he was a bad guy (virulent racism aside). He hated the school and felt out of place. He was a jock but seemed to hate most of the other jocks, had a surprisingly deep knowledge of film - which he seemed to have a passion for but was embarrassed about (probably not cool in Southie), and he would sing along with The Smiths in the shower NOTE PERFECTLY.

Maybe he's still out there crooning "Do you have a vacancy - for a - back-scrubber?"

I like the sound of B-dog. I think he sounds like he had potential to be redeemed

[Hash Slinging Slasher]

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Freshman year of college I had a roommate called B-Dog from Dorchester, MA. Total Southie who would say shit like "yeah, I hate all minorities, I once pushed a black kid in front of a train" and "is he a fuckin Jew?!" and "are you tryin ta kike me?".


He could put away a 20 beers in a night, which eventually led to me coming home one morning with him standing there naked saying "I pissed my fuckin bed!", an event that was repeated a handful of times. I'd come home from an early class and see his black comforter hanging over the dorm balcony steaming in the frigid winter air.


There was a stretch where the remote to his TV was lost, which he accused us of doing so he would constantly harangue us with "Where's my fuckin clicka?!!" (He later sheepishly admitted finding it under his bed)

He didn't like me much but he disliked my other roommates more, emptying his ashtray on my one roommate's bed and possibly pissing on it too. Eventually my other roommates moved out.

One morning my girlfriend woke up and realized B-Dog was peeking in the door to my room watching her sleep.

Eventually, he got kicked out of the dorm for puking off the balcony onto someone's head. I ended up with a quad to myself.


While he was a terrible roommate I didnt really think he was a bad guy (virulent racism aside). He hated the school and felt out of place. He was a jock but seemed to hate most of the other jocks, had a surprisingly deep knowledge of film - which he seemed to have a passion for but was embarrassed about (probably not cool in Southie), and he would sing along with The Smiths in the shower NOTE PERFECTLY.

Maybe he's still out there crooning "Do you have a vacancy - for a - back-scrubber?"

[close]

I like the sound of B-dog. I think he sounds like he had potential to be redeemed

I know it's not that similar but I'm thinking of a Good Will Hunting type story coming on. Who's got some writing skills?

[shark tits]

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Expand Quote

Freshman year of college I had a roommate called B-Dog from Dorchester, MA. Total Southie who would say shit like "yeah, I hate all minorities, I once pushed a black kid in front of a train" and "is he a fuckin Jew?!" and "are you tryin ta kike me?".


He could put away a 20 beers in a night, which eventually led to me coming home one morning with him standing there naked saying "I pissed my fuckin bed!", an event that was repeated a handful of times. I'd come home from an early class and see his black comforter hanging over the dorm balcony steaming in the frigid winter air.


There was a stretch where the remote to his TV was lost, which he accused us of doing so he would constantly harangue us with "Where's my fuckin clicka?!!" (He later sheepishly admitted finding it under his bed)

He didn't like me much but he disliked my other roommates more, emptying his ashtray on my one roommate's bed and possibly pissing on it too. Eventually my other roommates moved out.

One morning my girlfriend woke up and realized B-Dog was peeking in the door to my room watching her sleep.

Eventually, he got kicked out of the dorm for puking off the balcony onto someone's head. I ended up with a quad to myself.


While he was a terrible roommate I didnt really think he was a bad guy (virulent racism aside). He hated the school and felt out of place. He was a jock but seemed to hate most of the other jocks, had a surprisingly deep knowledge of film - which he seemed to have a passion for but was embarrassed about (probably not cool in Southie), and he would sing along with The Smiths in the shower NOTE PERFECTLY.

Maybe he's still out there crooning "Do you have a vacancy - for a - back-scrubber?"

[close]

I like the sound of B-dog. I think he sounds like he had potential to be redeemed

[close]

I know it's not that similar but I'm thinking of a Good Will Hunting type story coming on. Who's got some writing skills?

[Clayton]

One time I came home and my good friend comes out of his room frantic, shirtless, covered in baby oil, desperately asking me if I had any sleeping pills. I was pretty fucking confused but just said "nope!" and went to my room. I probably should have let it rest at that but I told some of our mutual friends about it because it was pretty fucking funny. Next time I see my roommate he awkwardly says something like "I just got a really bad sunburn and couldn't sleep and the school nurse said baby oil was really good for it." ...

Once moved into a party house with my girlfriend at the time. It was myself and five other girls including my gf. There was a black lesbian chick from DC that lived in a weird back room of the garage. She mostly kept to herself but she kept stealing money from another girl in the house and would just deny it. One day some other random chick shows up to our house with a moving truck on zero notice and just starts packing crap into our house. We confront our "roommate" and apparently the girls that lived there before told her she was free to move out whenever she wanted as long as she had someone to move in. In her head there was no need to inform us that she found some random lady we didn't know to move in. After confronting her about it she starts yelling and getting ghetto on us. She starts talking shit to my girlfriend, I step in since I'm supposed to be the man of the house, but she just keeps raising her voice with no intention to reason with us. Eventually I leads to me telling her "Fuck you," she replies "I'll show you how hoooood I can get!" and tries to punch me in the face. I dodge the first, she tries again and barely swipes my cheek but knocks the glasses off my face. It took a lot of self control not to clock that bitch back but that was the last time I ever saw her fortunately.

I used to have a gay roommate who was cool, but then he had two of his gay buddies move into another room of the house. One of them wasn't bad at all, just really quiet and basically his friends bitch, the other was a piece of shit. I ate a piece of his birthday cake in the fridge shortly after he moved in, so did everyone in the house, but for some reason he kept a grudge on me since he didn't know me that well. They would all start group text threads with their iPhones and for some reason include me in them like I was missing out on their hot roommate gossip if I wasn't involved. They'd text each other non-stop which meant my phone would constantly be blowing up with nothing pertaining to me. I'd politely ask them to leave me out of them but they'd keep doing it. Eventually I think I sent a sarcastic all caps hate text telling them to quit fucking texting me?the grudge continued. Next, these fuckers buy a puppy without asking anyone in the house if it were cool, (landlord was not ok with pets.) Instead of taking care of it and giving it the attention puppies need, they kept it locked up in their room where it would just cry, bark, piss and shit all day. When another roommate suggested they get rid of it via typical group text, fucker blows up on her telling us the dog was none of our business. I think at one point he was even ripping up house bills that came in the mail. Fuck that guy.

I could go on. I'm paying a lot more to live alone nowadays but it's so worth it.

[Senrud]

I rented a room from a woman in her 40s when I first moved out to CA who had a shrine to her (former) self in the garage. Photos of her past modeling career framed on the wall with candles and potpourri and incense beneath it all. I'd met with this certifiably insane lady the day before I met this one while searching for apartments so by comparison, this woman seemed fairly even keel. She was unemployed the whole time I lived with her. She did have this pseudo boyfriend who she would insult viciously whenever we had company and she'd inevitably be shithoused. I think she called him the Gargoyle, but definitely called him ugly and stupid to his face while people were over. BUT, she would fuck him, and then the next day he'd have left money (not a lot) for her, and cleaned our apartment. She also had this habit of sipping tequila out of shot glasses and day drinking Cahuenga beer. I worked 9-5 so by the time I was home she was usually pretty drunk. Sometimes a bit too friendly, but usually it wasn't a big deal as I'd just go to my room and ignore her. When she was really drunk she'd want an audience so wouldn't take the hint that I was in my room, so she'd barge in and punish me with inane conversation that I've since blacked out. When I needed a break, I'd walk to the bar a few blocks from our house. On one fateful instance, I was sitting at the outside portion, which had an extra tall granite slab as the bar. I was having a beer and watching a hockey game when I heard her, blocks away, chattering to herself in messy pursuit of someone to talk to. Minutes later she was at the bar in a sundress, hammered of course, and berating me for leaving her alone. She then blamed me for her sandal breaking on the way over, lifted her leg onto the bar which revealed her hairy aborted babyhead of a vagina to me, the bartender, and anyone unfortunate enough to be looking our way. Shit looked like a shower drain jammed between two potato buns.

I moved out shortly after, but before doing so, one night we were each in our own rooms sleeping or attempting to when I started hearing this muffled screaming and grunting. It wasn't just sex grunts and the shit you'd hear by the nature of properties being stacked up on one another, this shit sounded violent and potentially non consensual. We both came out of our rooms at the same time and were like, dude, what the fuck? Wasn't her. Wasn't me, so we figured out it was our downstairs neighbor. We both went downstairs to knock on the door to see what was up and kind of check to make sure no one was getting raped or something. Mind you this is at like 1:30-2ish on a weekday. We knock on the door and no one answers for a minute. Then the grunting stops and a minute later, the door opens revealing a dude in a gimp mask, leather vest, and Bart Simpson pajama pants. I lose my shit and head upstairs. My roommate, taken aback, asked if things were okay down there. The dude in the mask was super apologetic and said that they'd keep it down and that he could have his partner come to the door if we wanted to make sure everything was... not rapey. She declined and came upstairs white as a sheet, which was quite a feat considering she was very dark skinned Italian.