Awkward/Awful Roommate Stories

[silhouette]

My new housemate has taken to playing guitar and singing in our house with paper thin walls while I'm trying to work from home.
My other housemate keeps turning the heat off to save oil when the house is freezing cold.
My other housemate keeps dropping shit on my ceiling and waking me up.
My neighbours have 3 small children that scream on the other side of my paper thin walls. The housemates didn't tell me about this before I moved in.

I also live in one of the most expensive cities to rent in the entire world and in a country that's experiencing a housing crisis that the government isn't taking seriously.

I'm going to snap.

I can sort of relate to the other side because I also play the guitar and sing in my apartment, but I'm also super conscious about if neighbors are in the building and the time of the day when I do it, still I'm always a bit paranoid that that's not enough. In a way it's similar to when you're skating a spot that's super close to offices or houses and since no one is saying anything, part of you keeps hoping they can't hear you when they probably can and just internalize which usually turns into more animosity once the occasion to speak minds arises. But in real life things never have to reach that point, since right now you're stuck living with those dudes maybe there could be a way to amicably talk those simple things out before they take insane proportions? In situations like this I always feel like the person not communicating about their trouble is at least equally to blame, to be honest. I know some people will take anything straightforward as a provocation or confrontation, but then that's really them projecting their own issues which is not on you to work out; maybe you've been there with those guys in particular before. There are times when reasoning people is just impossible because they are the only ones making it so, and so it's frustrating how you can't do shit, but that shouldn't become the default assumption before you've even tried with them I don't think.

[Grind King Rims]

^ I hope you have a way to find some peace at the moment. I mean it. I had a bad run of about 4-5 different share houses at one point and never wanted to come home, but only ever wanted a 'home' ya know? Living in undesirable housing for that amount of time crushed me, I lost a lot of time dissociating because of my circumstances. So when people share troubles like this I feel it in my core. Much love.

Thanks pal. I know exactly what you mean. Working from home has its own challenges, but it has happened to me where I've stayed late in work on a Friday and realized I just don't want to go "home". It can weigh really heavy sometimes.

I'm extremely sympathetic. I've got undergrads below who go to bed late and a fitness freak above who gets up and runs around from 5 AM... then the major construction works carry on throughout the day while I'm working from home. Some noise cancelling headphones have stopped me from going postal and I endorse them if you can afford some.

That sounds tough, too. Growing up in suburbs and always wanting to live in the city, I never thought that noise would affect me this badly. Funny you should mention it, but yesterday after posting I immediately went and bought ear plugs. I'm well used to sleeping with them in at this stage.

I can sort of relate to the other side because I also play the guitar and sing in my apartment, but I'm also super conscious about if neighbors are in the building and the time of the day when I do it, still I'm always a bit paranoid that that's not enough. In a way it's similar to when you're skating a spot that's super close to offices or houses and since no one is saying anything, part of you keeps hoping they can't hear you when they probably can and just internalize which usually turns into more animosity once the occasion to speak minds arises. But in real life things never have to reach that point, since right now you're stuck living with those dudes maybe there could be a way to amicably talk those simple things out before they take insane proportions? In situations like this I always feel like the person not communicating about their trouble is at least equally to blame, to be honest. I know some people will take anything straightforward as a provocation or confrontation, but then that's really them projecting their own issues which is not on you to work out; maybe you've been there with those guys in particular before. There are times when reasoning people is just impossible because they are the only ones making it so, and so it's frustrating how you can't do shit, but that shouldn't become the default assumption before you've even tried with them I don't think.

I get what you mean, and I agree. If I don't vocalize that I have an issue then I can't really fault them for continuing whatever behavior that's getting to me.

The issue here is that I'm wondering if it's my place to tell them off for certain things. Like my one housemate obviously doesn't mean to drop things on the floor, she's not doing it on purpose, it's an accident. The housemate with the guitar and the singing is only in the house less than a week so I might have to say to her, "Listen, you're well within your rights to play music in your room, but maybe you haven't noticed that the walls are particularly thin, please try and choose what time you play a bit more considerately." The kids next door are something else entirely. I can hardly go next door and tell them to tell the kids to shut the fuck up. Kids are going to scream, there's not much that can be done about it, which makes that feel a bit stressful.

Anyway, I've got earplugs and I've taken to playing white noise videos on youtube, but I don't think I'll be here in a year's time.

[silhouette]

^ Earplugs can kind of work, when I lived in Bordeaux my flat was right above one of the busiest night party streets and it also had paper thin walls so getting any kind of sleep before 4 am was next to impossible without them, but I'm not even sure if sleeping with them is exactly healthy or recommended, I'm not too sure my ears were liking it although my sanity was. For the housemate dropping stuff I would probably plant a seed by joking about buying her a thick carpet or something, and see how that goes. Situation with the guitar person should be easily to work out, you guys could just agree on certain hours (personally, spontaneously I never play outside in between 11 am to 10 pm on week days and my neighbors seem to be putting up just fine), in fact the person is probably subconsciously waiting for someone else in the house to direct them on that so might as well break the ice. For the kids I agree there is nothing you can do, just like there was nothing I could do in my flat when for a while, one particular homeless guy had chosen to make it his thing to gather every garbage can in the neighborhood in the dead middle of random nights to improvise a drum set and start jamming out loud for hours complete with singing, and I'm talking several nights a week anytime in between 2 and 6. The random element to it made my nights absolutely traumatizing for a while, everytime I'd be going to sleep I was never sure whether I'd be able to or if the guy would suddenly start jamming out of nowhere. People were regularly calling the cops on him but they rarely showed up and whenever they would, the guy didn't have any documents on him and so they would quickly just give up. I almost really lost it on him once on a night my mother was staying over recovering from chemotherapy because any dialog was impossible to the point of really feeling like snapping, but violence on the poor guy would have been pointless as all fuck (and is generally something I never condone; plus I'm a skater, art being a possible nuisance, I get it), in the end I just accepted it as part of the nightlife in that city and rapidly moved anyway. On the other hand, you probably have ways to talk to these people and solve the two thirds of your problem, which may be better than nothing. Hang in tight!

[IUTSM]

I moved back to the east coast and was looking for a place in one of the city neighborhoods that wasn't too far from my job. I ended up getting a nice room in a house with a yard for a steal. $550/month. I was looking cleaner and more professional than usual because I was working in a high school and feeling stoked on not being a dirtbag for once, so moving into this house of "young professionals" didn't seem so bad. Social worker, designer, tech guy, and me (teacher). Figured tech guy might be cool because he at least played in a ska-pop-punk band, but he never once played at home in the year I lived there. he instead did shit like put my cast iron pan in the dishwasher, eat adderrol and play video games all the time. Not the worst dude, but not particularly cool either. The Social Worker was a decent roommate, kinda stressed out all the time but easy to deal with. The designer wasn't around much but when she was, she was drunk (I usually was too) but her man was the problem. He was from Spain and his name was Juan. He would get drunk and say some pretty nasty shit to her, which her and the social worker would excuse by saying "oh, it's because he is from Spain. Machismo..." I bit my tongue for a while until the night some anarchists affiliated with BLM blocked the highway in and out of Boston on a cold as fuck day. This dude was in the house and the 3 roommates were watching the news, drinking, and this dude starts saying stuff like "blocking highway for dead n*****s, causing problems..." repeatedly using the N word. Mind you, the social workers BF is also a black dude, and no one is saying anything to this menace, they're just sitting there. He says it again and I said "get the fuck out of my house with that shit. seriously, get the fuck out." He starts going off on me. his GF, the designer, is trying to get him to chill out and he says "shut the fuck up you dumb fucking slut. shut up." (I can hear his say it to this day, the way the s rolled off his tongue). I went into my room, put my bike away, and walked to the bar to avoid a fight. After that incident, the dude wasn't around much but his gf and my other female roommate tried to tell me it was all good, that he was drunk that night, etc and I told them I didn't want him around and because I was on the lease, he wasn't, and was an abusive, aggressive person, he could fuck right off. Well, he didn't come around for about a month but then one night designer, boyfriend, and two friends came in from some club at like 2 am. I'm leaving for an 18 day trip with a student to Salamanca  at 6am the next morning, so I'm trying to catch some zzz's. The whole house knew I was leaving but these fools brought the party home to the living room. I'm laying in bed, fuming when homeboy bangs on my bedroom door and says "AYYYYYYE! MAN! Have fun in Spain. blah blah blah blah" before passing out in the GF's room. I'm heated but trying to rest, so I don't purse anything but the 2 girls that came home with them, who I don't know, are taking shots of vodka in the living room, listening to music and watching TV. I go out there and ask them to chill out, but of course since they're wasted, it has no effect. 30 minutes later, they're ordering a pizza and I just can't handle it anymore. I walk out of the room, bare ass, and start yelling "no fucking way. you don't fucking live here. I don't know you. Your friend is sleeping, go sleep in her room or get the fuck out." they're saying shit like "she invited us. we have a right to be here." I'm standing there, cold as fuck, naked as a jay bird and start yelling. Social Work roommate comes out and offers to call them a cab/uber but they refuse and end up walking out to whatever bridge they lived under. I ended up being kind of blacklisted with the rest of the roommates after that but the Designer ended up moving out about a month later. It was a pretty awful situation.

[Dr-Feelgood]

Only lived with people one time in my life...wouldnt do it again, no real horror storys, just same old shit, i was the only one who cleaned and did dishes. I also got left to clean out a room full of shit/clean the entire apartment in prep for the walk through to get the deposit back, also had to explain why one of the walls had fresh paint/a new drywall up cause i had to fix a hole that was punched through a wall, obviously lost some $$ for that one but yeah couldnt live with anyone who wasnt the misso again

[garthblader]

In college I was in a forced triple dorm room the first semester, my one roomate was pretty rad but the other was a frat boy from Mass.  He was nice but a total slob, he would fill under his bed (which was the lower bunk under me) with trash until it was completely packed in.  He had some health issue where he would fart himself awake all night, smoke weed out of a lightbulb because he thought it was a way to make a vape, and would cut his toenails only when his shoes didn't fit and then not clean up.  He was nice but almost got into a fight over breaking his friends bong in our room which is when I had to dip out.  He got accused of stabbing a girl with a needle at a party that semester so moving out was a pretty awesome way to not be associated with that shit.

[Gnarfunkell]

I don't have anything too particularly awful with the roommates I've had, but my college dorm mate was awkward to say the least. When we first met I was nice to him and it seemed like all was well, but after a few days he just stopped acknowledging my existence. I'd come in and say hi, but he wouldn't even look at me. He also never left the dorm unless he absolutely had to. I was a clean and quiet roommate, so I imagine that he just had some social anxiety, or something along those lines. It was just weird literally sleeping 5 feet away from someone for an entire year, but pretending like the other person didn't exist. It was awkward as hell, but I'd rather have a silent dorm mate that ignores me rather than some frat bro.

[Grind King Rims]

I don't have anything too particularly awful with the roommates I've had, but my college dorm mate was awkward to say the least. When we first met I was nice to him and it seemed like all was well, but after a few days he just stopped acknowledging my existence. I'd come in and say hi, but he wouldn't even look at me. He also never left the dorm unless he absolutely had to. I was a clean and quiet roommate, so I imagine that he just had some social anxiety, or something along those lines. It was just weird literally sleeping 5 feet away from someone for an entire year, but pretending like the other person didn't exist. It was awkward as hell, but I'd rather have a silent dorm mate that ignores me rather than some frat bro.

I've also had a college housemate who refused to talk to me. Soooo bizarre. Like, "Mate, I don't want to be your best friend or anything but we live together." But like your fella, I reckon my guy just had some kind of social issue. I took it personally at the time but now I know better.

Also in that house, all the other housemates had a big night out, and didn't invite me, hahaha. I went to the kitchen/sitting room one time to make food and they were all dolled up pre-drinking for a night on the town. Suuuuper awkward in hindsight.

[Bumpovertrash]

My roommates have all been pretty chill and when I was younger I was the shitty roommate. My buddy has had the worst luck with roomates ever though. First was a openly suicidal trans girl. There other roommate ended up hooking up with and they had a relashionship but he never could openly admit it said they just were playing video games or whatever. Apparently he grew up very religous and couldnt accept that he was into trans people be open about it  or whatever. They had fights that got worse and worse until he ended up punching her in the face and cops came and theres drugs in the house and the whole nine fucking yards. Dude goes on the run dissapears the whole deal. Trans girl is now even more openly suicidal and acting crazy. Eventually they convinced her parents to pick her up and get her some help. Sad. Now he has a couple with three dogs that completly ruined there backyard with digging. They dont clean anything and stole a bowl of weed. They actually are in the same duplex as there
 landlord so he knows all this shit goes on.