Jokes

[theSketchLord]

How'd you kill an entire circus?
Go for the juggler.

[Prince]

why didn't the hippy lifeguard save the guy that was drowning?

he was too far out man.

[matty_c]

Why wasn’t Jesus born in Australia?

They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin

[behavioralguide]

Last thing going trough a flies mind when it hits your windshield








its ass

[matty_c]

Why do you wrap guinea pigs with duct tape?

So they don’t burst when you fuck them

[SneakySecrets]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iIcWEmw3pI&feature=share

[companguero]

So they don’t burst when you fuck them

LOL

or vice-versa 

[matty_c]

Lmao yeah Richard was defz on the gere when he pulled that shit

[TracersOnlyfans]

Here's one my mum told me.

So there's this penguin, out for a drive, and he thinks "hmm there's something wrong with my car".
He sees a mechanic so he pulls in and says "hey look mate, there's something wrong with my car"
Mechanic says "oh yeh, I'm a bit busy atm but I'll have a look in a sec"
So the penguin leaves the car there, goes for a walk, he gets himself an ice-cream, and heads back.
Mechanic says "you've blown a seal"
"nah, i just had an ice-cream"

[whale]

Love a good dad joke

What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite co-ordination?

HAND-EyeeeEeee

[cucktard]

Why do women wear make-up and perfume?


Because they’re ugly and they smell bad.

(Im not a misogynist, I swear. But I find this joke hilarious. I’ll try to remember my favorite dude jokes later)

[Sedition]

Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Fuck her.

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common?
A: A ten year old crack problem.

[swellbowed]

The past, present, and future walk into a bar.

It was tense.