Xenu?

[Garth Marenghi]

So... Noticed that another Borra discussion popped up in useless wooden toy banter. Made a topic in hopes of clearing this Xenu nonsense once and for all. To remedy this awful misconception of a beautiful and pragmatic dogma if nothing else.

According to L. Ron Hubbard (via Wikipedia) Xenu (/ˈziːnuː/), also called Xemu, "was the dictator of the "Galactic Confederacy" who 75 million years ago brought billions of his people to Earth (then known as "Teegeeack") in DC-8-like spacecraft, stacked them around volcanoes, and killed them with hydrogen bombs. Official Scientology scriptures hold that the thetans (immortal spirits) of these aliens adhere to humans, causing spiritual harm."

Good stuff indeed. All you smartypants thinking of "a good one" should take this into consideration. After all, nothing's worse than anonymous internet ridicule, right?

What's your favourite religious antagonist? Common sense is a personal favourite.

[doomstation55]

Satan is way more badass than 'common sense' you loser

[20matar]

I only accept lessons in Xenulogy from people who have paid a cool million to reach the official OT levels required for it not to melt your mind. I'm sure they know incredible details that make the story really make sense. Not to mention that they get to listen to the Space Opera. It ain't over till John Travolta sings.

[h00man]

So what do Scientologists actually worship? What is their goal? Most religions have the promise of eternal life in Heaven or hitting nirvana. What does Scientology provide in the end? Or do they just go around and show off their beliefs just cause they can?

[MintySandwhich]

So what do Scientologists actually worship? What is their goal? Most religions have the promise of eternal life in Heaven or hitting nirvana. What does Scientology provide in the end? Or do they just go around and show off their beliefs just cause they can?

You pay thousands of dollars to rid bad demons from your body so you can live peacefully
and reaching new OT levels like it's fucking farmville

[SodaJerk]

Don't get it twisted people, Watson decreed that Xenu is now the good guy and it kind of makes sense for us not paying to go clear. He's the devil and we're Satanist.

[Deucifer]

Praise Xenu

[SodaJerk]

Praise Xenu

[Tracer]

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So what do Scientologists actually worship? What is their goal? Most religions have the promise of eternal life in Heaven or hitting nirvana. What does Scientology provide in the end? Or do they just go around and show off their beliefs just cause they can?

[close]

You pay thousands of dollars to rid bad demons from your body so you can live peacefully
and reaching new OT levels like it's fucking farmville

My legal team isn't strong enough to combat scientology but here goes:

The goal is to get CLEAR status, meaning you are non toxic and rid of societal problems. It takes lifetime dedication.

It's insane how they get religion status in so many countries. Only nations that have leaders with balls keep them out (Germany, Russia)

[MexicanSpaniard]

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Praise Xenu

[close]

[h00man]

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So what do Scientologists actually worship? What is their goal? Most religions have the promise of eternal life in Heaven or hitting nirvana. What does Scientology provide in the end? Or do they just go around and show off their beliefs just cause they can?

[close]

You pay thousands of dollars to rid bad demons from your body so you can live peacefully
and reaching new OT levels like it's fucking farmville

So in other words, Scientologists have a mental problems. Damn

[tobey]

I mean its not that far fetched when it comes to other religions. Basically how I see it is all religions are dumb, but if you go to Scientology you went full person

[stabbedbywiggers]

Xenu is pretty cool, he likes to blow up volcanoes with hydrogen bombs. Thats some gangsta shit. Xenu straight gangsta.

[Cuban_Lynx]

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Praise Xenu

[close]

[close]

[straight]

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Praise Xenu

[close]

[close]

[close]

[SodaJerk]

If you guys really want the low down on how to properly praise Xenu PayPal me $5 and I'll send you instructions in Level 1 Xenu Worship. It's important you do it right otherwise you'll offend Xenu and your head might explode. Send another $15 and I'll send you Level II, that's a $10 saving so don't wait, offer ends soon.

[shit_for_brains]

What SLAP wants is to get all the thetans that have been cleared from other people crammed into them. You want as many thetans as you can get, and for a small monthly fee I can track some down for you and help you decrease your clearance levels.

[chockfullofthat]

Psychiatry is a hoax

[SodaJerk]

What SLAP wants is to get all the thetans that have been cleared from other people crammed into them. You want as many thetans as you can get, and for a small monthly fee I can track some down for you and help you decrease your clearance levels.

Suppressive gains

[fulltechnicalskizzy]

Praise Spirit Falcon.

[Garth Marenghi]

Satan is way more badass than 'common sense' you loser

Pfft, Satan's soo mainstream.