http://www.newsweek.com/35000-reward-offered-find-suspect-florida-zombicon-shooting-387724http://www.winknews.com/2015/10/26/reward-for-information-on-zombicon-shooting-now-stands-at-35k/Not even really sure where to begin with this one, but it may get long, and dark. I haven't actually recapped that night since this all happened, so my apologies in advance, but holy fuck...
A little back story; this event has been happening in my hometown for the past 7 or 8 years now, and when it first started it was all about celebrating the fact that our little town in Florida had a scene from a major movie (Day of the Dead) filmed in it. It was a true, "con," where everyone dressed up and it was extremely local to begin with. It was one of the highlights of the year. Over the past few years its turned into a drunken mess where literally 20k people are crammed into 4 city blocks.
I haven't been going for the past few years, and was especially adamant about not going this year. A gathering like this can only happen so many times before some gnarly shit goes down. gnarlier than people getting drunk and passing out in the street. I recently started dating a girl who moved down here from up north, and it was her first year being here for the convention, and she was planning on going with some friends from work. I had previous engagements that night, but told her I would pick her up around midnight since she was planning on drinking and I was going to be sober.
I parked on the outskirts of downtown right at about 11:35 PM, and made my way into the fucking mess of drunken humans. I'm not kidding when I say this, the whole city smelled like B.O. and fucking desperation. Picture this; the worst music festival you could ever imagine, with no music at all, and the whole crowd is drunk/ on drugs and from Florida... I could easily spot who was fucked up on more than just alcohol, and it gave me a creepy feeling from the start. Totally skeeved. I was planning on grabbing her and her friends and getting the fuck out of there as soon as possible. I called her and she tells me to meet her in front of a certain restaurant. I reluctantly made my way down there with full intention of going home as soon as I saw her.
I met her and her friends in front of the restaurant, we exchanged hellos and talked for about 4 or 5 minutes before one of her friends suggested we go across the street to get drinks. I give my girl the look of, "lets get the fuck out of this hell hole," and she gives me the look of, "well let's just have one." keep in mind, she's been drinking all night, and is fully not able to handle something if shit were to go down. she grabs my hand and we make our way into the street.
these next events happen in about 30 - 45 seconds, but felt like a fucking lifetime. when real shit goes down, and your adrenaline kicks in like it never has before, time 100% slows down.
as soon as we make it into the middle of the street, 6 or 7 pops go off, I feel something instantly sting my leg. "what kind of asshole throws a firework into the middle of the street?" I look down, leg is fine, look up, people are running, look to my left back to where I was just standing, "HE'S SHOT! HE'S SHOT!" someone calls out standing over a body laying in it's own blood. (turns out it was the dude's brother, sadly.) I honestly think my brain blocked out seeing the actual person, as all I remember is how red the blood was in the street and how dark the figure laying on the ground was.
Fight or flight kicks in, I turn to run, I make it two steps before I realize, "oh, my girlfriend isn't with me." I turn back around and see a pair of legs on the ground with two people over them. I run over, and it's her. "I GOT SHOT I GOT SHOT!" she yells. I look at her leg, there's a hole, but it's not bleeding and it only looks like the first few layers of skin are broken. (turns out we got hit with part of the hollow tip bullet that exploded. this is about a minute after the initial gunfire goes off.) I check to see if she's okay, she's coherent. I scoop her up, Hercules this drunken zombie over my shoulder and run down the block as fast as I can as thousands of people on one street scatter in every direction. I get her about a block and a half away and set her down to check on her. I'm fully running on autopilot at this point, completely numb to what was going on, but I knew at the time the likelihood of more shots going off was probably pretty slim. It's weird that I thought that in that moment, but I can't explain it.
she's fully screaming at this point, and I mean she's freaking the fuck out. yelling about "THE CHILDREN! WHAT IF THAT WAS A CHILD!?" full on breakdown. keep in mind, there's maybe 15k people there at this time, and 500 feet away from the shooting, no one knows whats actually going on because of how many people are there. I'm dealing with this drunk mess, and people are making faces and gestures at me while I'm consoling her and trying to make sure she doesn't lose it (which she did anyway, and rightfully so.)
Word quickly spreads about what happened and full on chaos ensues. Cop cars trying to drive through thousands of people as I'm continuing to get us farther and farther away from the scene. sirens, people screaming, and literally running for their lives. me? I'm still on autopilot, completely numb to what's going on. looking back on it, thank god I fell into that mind set because it fully shielded me from actually taking in what was happening at that moment.
I get us back to the car after about 35 minutes, she calms down eventually, we get home, shower, and then I full on went blank about an hour and a half after everything happened. total shock like i've never felt before. the thousand mile stare is in full effect and I can't help it. the weight of what happened was finally hitting me. I'm not lying when I say this, 2 minutes before a man was murdered, I was standing where he took his last steps. I passed out that night, completely numb.
The next day was still spent in disbelief, but for the most part I feel okay. I'm trying to tell myself what happened must have been gang related (which it doesn't seem like that now,) and it was a once in a lifetime event that I should be thankful I survived... I've always been pretty strong willed mentally, I've lived through some "real life shit," to say the least, but that night, trying to fall asleep, my brain took me places I never want to be again. I saw every possible outcome of what could have happened that night. I'm telling myself that had I got there 5 minutes earlier, or 5 minutes later, it could have been a completely different story. I can't sleep that night, and couldn't for a few nights after that.
Slowly things return to normal, I'm not thinking about what happened as much, and honestly I'm trying to tell myself that something that traumatizing isn't going to affect me. once in a lifetime, right?
Well now, less than three weeks later, issues are manifesting itself. I'm extremely skiddish about loud noises now. In a way I've never ever been before. I was at work today, heard a loud bang in the hallway from my office, heard my office door open, and the only thought I had was that a gunman was charging into the room. no questions about it, that's what was happening. turns out, fed ex guy. who would have thought? the other day, a laundry detergent bottle had been squeezed to get the last little bit of soap out, and when it reformed and made that loud pop from across my girl's apartment, I jumped out of fear. last night, I had a dream I was being robbed at gunpoint, saw the gun to my head, I was done for.
I do a form of public speaking (so to speak LOL) that involves me being in large crowds and social settings... every time I've been in those environments since, I question if something tragic is going to happen. I'm completely turned off to the idea of being out in social gatherings now, not in a way that's agoraphobic, but in a way that could really fuck with the trajectory of my social life/ second career.
I guess I'm posting this to ask for advice, for help, and honestly, to get some of this shit off my chest. I've thought about going to a support group for something like this, but I wouldn't know where to begin. I'm not trying to get on meds to deal with this, but I have thought about seeing a therapist for the first time. dude, has anyone dealt with something similar to this??? I know that question seems kind of out there, but has anyone ever been in a mass setting and something disturbing/ life altering has gone down?
my apologies for the extremely long post, but that isn't something I could get out in a paragraph. any advice would be fucking appreciated.
tldr: was 10 feet away from a mass shooting that happened in my town and I'm pretty sure its traumatized me. help?