I have family members who are racist and I still love em, it is what it is. Family is different.
Also, I don't speak for all queers but it's annoying as fuck when straight people use fag or faggot. I've gotten called fag and spit on at the same time. If you haven't experienced it's impact, the word is not for you. Gay people can use it all they want. Not going to preach on that but if I hear it in person, I'm going to embarrass the fuck out of you for being an imbecile.