Awkward Sexual Experiences

[EAT PUSSY!]

my ex shared a room with her older brother and also a bunk bed, her brother always sleep in the upper bed.

I always banged her while he was sleeping, he even caught her blowing me once. Fucking awkward but still awesome. I still talk to him sometimes...

[YoungChum]

funniest thread ever! anyways

I was at a sushi bar with my ex gf and she decides she wants to give me a blow job in the bathroom after we eat , i was like fuck yeah so we go. she wasnt that good as she was pretty new to sexual experiences (17 yr old) so it took a while before i could nut, about 5 minutes into it some asshole knocks on the door telling us to hurry up. i yelled back "occupied" thinking he would leave. 20 minutes later after what was probably some loud deepthroating I open the door and the dude is standing outside the door quickly whipping his hand out of his pants. we kinda just looked at eachother awkwardly and didnt say anything and parted ways.. was pretty awkward the guy was like mid 40s and i was 19

[castillo's curls]

funniest thread ever! anyways

I was at a sushi bar with my ex gf and she decides she wants to give me a blow job in the bathroom after we eat , i was like fuck yeah so we go. she wasnt that good as she was pretty new to sexual experiences (17 yr old) so it took a while before i could nut, about 5 minutes into it some asshole knocks on the door telling us to hurry up. i yelled back "occupied" thinking he would leave. 20 minutes later after what was probably some loud deepthroating I open the door and the dude is standing outside the door quickly whipping his hand out of his pants. we kinda just looked at eachother awkwardly and didnt say anything and parted ways.. was pretty awkward the guy was like mid 40s and i was 19

[givecigstosurfgroms]

no doubt, thanks JB

[KING TUT]

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My ex-girlfriend, her mom, her sister and I were all watching a movie in the living room. Long story short, they all passed out, and I boned my ex in front of her passed out family under the blankets.

[close]

Hj at the most you loaf

how dare you insult a man who has performed such a valiant act .

 well done soldier.

[pencil]

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I remember peacing out of girls' houses in the am with a pubic hair stuck in my throat - trying to cough that shit out and its hard to do!

[close]

if its just at the back of your throat, just use a toothbrush and scrape that shit out. further back than that, eat a piece of bread.
hope that helps homie.

[close]

i had no clue this struggle was so real... my girl didnt shave this week and blechhhhh

[kookboi]

so i used to work at journeys at our local mall, and on Valentine's Day this girl walked into the store and asked my manager to see "the guy with the long hair" (aka me 2 years ago). So i come out of the back room to see whats gouda. To my surprise there's a random girl i've never seen before asking my questions (hitting on me). This girl is a solid 7, pretty face, kind of chubby. She asks me for my number and my boss is right next to me throughout all of this, so i give it to her and she leaves. Not even 5 minutes pass and i have a text from her. I didn't want my boss to think i was interested in this girl so i just didn't respond until i got off work. So i get home and i realize that my friend had left his tent set up in my backyard and he also left his bong in there too. So i go in the tent and hit this girl up. I ask here if shes game for coming to my place and getting high and kick it. She is super down and says shes on her way. So i start to go inside the house and grabbing my condoms and other sexual necessities (jam-box,candles,weed,etc..) She shows up and i walk her back to the tent and shes ready to hang. We both get pretty high and start to go at it. I tried to avoid making out as much as possible because this girl is a 7, which means her grill isn't quite up to par either. So we make out a little and then she starts to suck me off, she's killing it too, just going for it, all of a sudden my stoach just clenches so hard and i look down and my nuts are in her throat. This was my first experience of having my balls sucked by a girl and it was the craziest feeling. Like, it felt good but it felt way too good like getting tickled feels way too good. So i wrap it up with this girl and i ask where to cum and she just opens her mouth and i shoot and score. She swallowed it and i come up with a lie about why she needs to leave and that was that. About a week later i'm putting up shoes for the display rack and she shows up. Luckily enough she didn't see me so i crept back to the stockroom and told my manager that if anyone asks, I'm not here. So i avoided her and that night i got a text message from the girl saying "hey i ahvent heard from you in a while but i was thinking we should be friends with benefits because the sex was great."Although i was honored by the compliment i also did not accept the offer. Sorry if this isnt awkward enough for you guys but i felt pretty awkward having to dodge this chick at work.

[kingpinuser]

so i used to work at journeys at our local mall, and on Valentine's Day this girl walked into the store and asked my manager to see "the guy with the long hair" (aka me 2 years ago). So i come out of the back room to see whats gouda. To my surprise there's a random girl i've never seen before asking my questions (hitting on me). This girl is a solid 7, pretty face, kind of chubby. She asks me for my number and my boss is right next to me throughout all of this, so i give it to her and she leaves. Not even 5 minutes pass and i have a text from her. I didn't want my boss to think i was interested in this girl so i just didn't respond until i got off work. So i get home and i realize that my friend had left his tent set up in my backyard and he also left his bong in there too. So i go in the tent and hit this girl up. I ask here if shes game for coming to my place and getting high and kick it. She is super down and says shes on her way. So i start to go inside the house and grabbing my condoms and other sexual necessities (jam-box,candles,weed,etc..) She shows up and i walk her back to the tent and shes ready to hang. We both get pretty high and start to go at it. I tried to avoid making out as much as possible because this girl is a 7, which means her grill isn't quite up to par either. So we make out a little and then she starts to suck me off, she's killing it too, just going for it, all of a sudden my stoach just clenches so hard and i look down and my nuts are in her throat. This was my first experience of having my balls sucked by a girl and it was the craziest feeling. Like, it felt good but it felt way too good like getting tickled feels way too good. So i wrap it up with this girl and i ask where to cum and she just opens her mouth and i shoot and score. She swallowed it and i come up with a lie about why she needs to leave and that was that. About a week later i'm putting up shoes for the display rack and she shows up. Luckily enough she didn't see me so i crept back to the stockroom and told my manager that if anyone asks, I'm not here. So i avoided her and that night i got a text message from the girl saying "hey i ahvent heard from you in a while but i was thinking we should be friends with benefits because the sex was great."Although i was honored by the compliment i also did not accept the offer. Sorry if this isnt awkward enough for you guys but i felt pretty awkward having to dodge this chick at work.

I like a chick that goes for it and plus asked to be friends with benefits even though you were not her friend to begin with. If I was you I would have banged her a few more times she seemed down to do whatever-then seen if she had any cute friends that would have been into a 3 way, since you're not really friends before you can get away with being blunt and asking, if it was a no go then bounce...but give her a high 5 and say it was a good time.

[j....soy.....]

Oh dude....I fucked the hottest chick....then I forgot where my car was......then I got into a black corolla the realized it wasn't my corolla....

SO EMBARASSING......

[Gray Imp Sausage Metal]

She doesn't really sound like a "7" by they way you are describing her

[posguy]

She doesn't really sound like a "7" by they way you are describing her

To each their own. Your "7" is probably someone else's 4.

[kookboi]

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She doesn't really sound like a "7" by they way you are describing her

[close]

To each their own. Your "7" is probably someone else's 4.

very true. haha maybe i did give her a few extra points just to soften the blow of realizing how bad she really was .

[kookboi]

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so i used to work at journeys at our local mall, and on Valentine's Day this girl walked into the store and asked my manager to see "the guy with the long hair" (aka me 2 years ago). So i come out of the back room to see whats gouda. To my surprise there's a random girl i've never seen before asking my questions (hitting on me). This girl is a solid 7, pretty face, kind of chubby. She asks me for my number and my boss is right next to me throughout all of this, so i give it to her and she leaves. Not even 5 minutes pass and i have a text from her. I didn't want my boss to think i was interested in this girl so i just didn't respond until i got off work. So i get home and i realize that my friend had left his tent set up in my backyard and he also left his bong in there too. So i go in the tent and hit this girl up. I ask here if shes game for coming to my place and getting high and kick it. She is super down and says shes on her way. So i start to go inside the house and grabbing my condoms and other sexual necessities (jam-box,candles,weed,etc..) She shows up and i walk her back to the tent and shes ready to hang. We both get pretty high and start to go at it. I tried to avoid making out as much as possible because this girl is a 7, which means her grill isn't quite up to par either. So we make out a little and then she starts to suck me off, she's killing it too, just going for it, all of a sudden my stoach just clenches so hard and i look down and my nuts are in her throat. This was my first experience of having my balls sucked by a girl and it was the craziest feeling. Like, it felt good but it felt way too good like getting tickled feels way too good. So i wrap it up with this girl and i ask where to cum and she just opens her mouth and i shoot and score. She swallowed it and i come up with a lie about why she needs to leave and that was that. About a week later i'm putting up shoes for the display rack and she shows up. Luckily enough she didn't see me so i crept back to the stockroom and told my manager that if anyone asks, I'm not here. So i avoided her and that night i got a text message from the girl saying "hey i ahvent heard from you in a while but i was thinking we should be friends with benefits because the sex was great."Although i was honored by the compliment i also did not accept the offer. Sorry if this isnt awkward enough for you guys but i felt pretty awkward having to dodge this chick at work.

[close]

I like a chick that goes for it and plus asked to be friends with benefits even though you were not her friend to begin with. If I was you I would have banged her a few more times she seemed down to do whatever-then seen if she had any cute friends that would have been into a 3 way, since you're not really friends before you can get away with being blunt and asking, if it was a no go then bounce...but give her a high 5 and say it was a good time.

yeah it was an experience thats for sure but she just wasn't the greatest looking girl. I just had to call it quits

[posguy]

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so i used to work at journeys at our local mall, and on Valentine's Day this girl walked into the store and asked my manager to see "the guy with the long hair" (aka me 2 years ago). So i come out of the back room to see whats gouda. To my surprise there's a random girl i've never seen before asking my questions (hitting on me). This girl is a solid 7, pretty face, kind of chubby. She asks me for my number and my boss is right next to me throughout all of this, so i give it to her and she leaves. Not even 5 minutes pass and i have a text from her. I didn't want my boss to think i was interested in this girl so i just didn't respond until i got off work. So i get home and i realize that my friend had left his tent set up in my backyard and he also left his bong in there too. So i go in the tent and hit this girl up. I ask here if shes game for coming to my place and getting high and kick it. She is super down and says shes on her way. So i start to go inside the house and grabbing my condoms and other sexual necessities (jam-box,candles,weed,etc..) She shows up and i walk her back to the tent and shes ready to hang. We both get pretty high and start to go at it. I tried to avoid making out as much as possible because this girl is a 7, which means her grill isn't quite up to par either. So we make out a little and then she starts to suck me off, she's killing it too, just going for it, all of a sudden my stoach just clenches so hard and i look down and my nuts are in her throat. This was my first experience of having my balls sucked by a girl and it was the craziest feeling. Like, it felt good but it felt way too good like getting tickled feels way too good. So i wrap it up with this girl and i ask where to cum and she just opens her mouth and i shoot and score. She swallowed it and i come up with a lie about why she needs to leave and that was that. About a week later i'm putting up shoes for the display rack and she shows up. Luckily enough she didn't see me so i crept back to the stockroom and told my manager that if anyone asks, I'm not here. So i avoided her and that night i got a text message from the girl saying "hey i ahvent heard from you in a while but i was thinking we should be friends with benefits because the sex was great."Although i was honored by the compliment i also did not accept the offer. Sorry if this isnt awkward enough for you guys but i felt pretty awkward having to dodge this chick at work.

[close]

I like a chick that goes for it and plus asked to be friends with benefits even though you were not her friend to begin with. If I was you I would have banged her a few more times she seemed down to do whatever-then seen if she had any cute friends that would have been into a 3 way, since you're not really friends before you can get away with being blunt and asking, if it was a no go then bounce...but give her a high 5 and say it was a good time.

there was a stunner who did this to me. We met in class the first day and she immediately started flirting. She was a 10 for me and after a few weeks of flirting in class we hooked up a few times before calling it quits because she had a boyfriend and was feeling guilty. When I saw him at the end of the quarter I understood why she did it, he was fat and I was a skater. She was the first girl I went down on too. Not awkward at all when I gave her a hug good bye and skated out the door while he was waiting at the car for her. I'm probably going to hell for that one.

[poorlatino]

Last week I was hooking up with this girl i've known for awhile. We fucked in the pool then she started to give me head on the lawn chairs while we were air drying, as she is deepthroating me I see a Mexican worker doing his rounds around the gated community. We both just waved at eachother then I went back to this girl from Brooklyn sucking my dick. Then we fucked in her bed and while i was doing her from behind her dad comes in and says good night to us then shuts the door (obviously seeing our bare bodies in motion) 2 hours later I asked him for a ride home and I spilled a bunch of sour patch kids on his car floor.. this night could have been way more awkward.

[Nosferatu]

feel free to continue posting similar stories poorlatino. you could fill the void that jimi left.

[JB]

Last week I was hooking up with this girl i've known for awhile. We fucked in the pool then she started to give me head on the lawn chairs while we were air drying, as she is deepthroating me I see a Mexican worker doing his rounds around the gated community. We both just waved at eachother then I went back to this girl from Brooklyn sucking my dick. Then we fucked in her bed and while i was doing her from behind her dad comes in and says good night to us then shuts the door (obviously seeing our bare bodies in motion) 2 hours later I asked him for a ride home and I spilled a bunch of sour patch kids on his car floor.. this night could have been way more awkward.

about half way through i skipped to the end to make sure she wasnt the locke ness monster asking for tree fiddy.

[kookboi]

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so i used to work at journeys at our local mall, and on Valentine's Day this girl walked into the store and asked my manager to see "the guy with the long hair" (aka me 2 years ago). So i come out of the back room to see whats gouda. To my surprise there's a random girl i've never seen before asking my questions (hitting on me). This girl is a solid 7, pretty face, kind of chubby. She asks me for my number and my boss is right next to me throughout all of this, so i give it to her and she leaves. Not even 5 minutes pass and i have a text from her. I didn't want my boss to think i was interested in this girl so i just didn't respond until i got off work. So i get home and i realize that my friend had left his tent set up in my backyard and he also left his bong in there too. So i go in the tent and hit this girl up. I ask here if shes game for coming to my place and getting high and kick it. She is super down and says shes on her way. So i start to go inside the house and grabbing my condoms and other sexual necessities (jam-box,candles,weed,etc..) She shows up and i walk her back to the tent and shes ready to hang. We both get pretty high and start to go at it. I tried to avoid making out as much as possible because this girl is a 7, which means her grill isn't quite up to par either. So we make out a little and then she starts to suck me off, she's killing it too, just going for it, all of a sudden my stoach just clenches so hard and i look down and my nuts are in her throat. This was my first experience of having my balls sucked by a girl and it was the craziest feeling. Like, it felt good but it felt way too good like getting tickled feels way too good. So i wrap it up with this girl and i ask where to cum and she just opens her mouth and i shoot and score. She swallowed it and i come up with a lie about why she needs to leave and that was that. About a week later i'm putting up shoes for the display rack and she shows up. Luckily enough she didn't see me so i crept back to the stockroom and told my manager that if anyone asks, I'm not here. So i avoided her and that night i got a text message from the girl saying "hey i ahvent heard from you in a while but i was thinking we should be friends with benefits because the sex was great."Although i was honored by the compliment i also did not accept the offer. Sorry if this isnt awkward enough for you guys but i felt pretty awkward having to dodge this chick at work.

[close]

I like a chick that goes for it and plus asked to be friends with benefits even though you were not her friend to begin with. If I was you I would have banged her a few more times she seemed down to do whatever-then seen if she had any cute friends that would have been into a 3 way, since you're not really friends before you can get away with being blunt and asking, if it was a no go then bounce...but give her a high 5 and say it was a good time.

[close]

there was a stunner who did this to me. We met in class the first day and she immediately started flirting. She was a 10 for me and after a few weeks of flirting in class we hooked up a few times before calling it quits because she had a boyfriend and was feeling guilty. When I saw him at the end of the quarter I understood why she did it, he was fat and I was a skater. She was the first girl I went down on too. Not awkward at all when I gave her a hug good bye and skated out the door while he was waiting at the car for her. I'm probably going to hell for that one.

haha oh well, someone had to please her, lucky enough for you it happened to be you. Props my guy 

[sweat stains]

This isn't so awkward, but it's pretty awesome.

I was visiting my girlfriend at her college last week. One of the nights I was there, we had half a bottle of bourbon, and we drank it all. I hadn't been drunk in almost a year, and she's a total lightweight, so it was a good time. We ended up getting into it and after having sex for a while, we quickly switch to her giving me a blowjob.

So, I should mention that she gets nosebleeds very easily. If she rubs it the wrong way, or gets lightheaded, blood just starts flowing out. So when she got up really fast she started gushing from her nose. I was about to get up and stop so she could clean herself up, but she just kept going and started rubbing the blood all over my chest. I've never seen so much blood in my life. Luckily, I'm not grossed out by much, so she kept going for a minute until there was so much blood all over us, that it looked like she bit my dick off. Definitely the best / funniest sexual experience in my young life.



Had to crop out my junk, sorry GAY 

[ill_Murray]

This isn't so awkward, but it's pretty awesome.

I was visiting my girlfriend at her college last week. One of the nights I was there, we had half a bottle of bourbon, and we drank it all. I hadn't been drunk in almost a year, and she's a total lightweight, so it was a good time. We ended up getting into it and after having sex for a while, we quickly switch to her giving me a blowjob.

So, I should mention that she gets nosebleeds very easily. If she rubs it the wrong way, or gets lightheaded, blood just starts flowing out. So when she got up really fast she started gushing from her nose. I was about to get up and stop so she could clean herself up, but she just kept going and started rubbing the blood all over my chest. I've never seen so much blood in my life. Luckily, I'm not grossed out by much, so she kept going for a minute until there was so much blood all over us, that it looked like she bit my dick off. Definitely the best / funniest sexual experience in my young life.


Had to crop out my junk, sorry GAY 

It's nice that you can laugh about the situation but the smearing part and the fact that you look like a starving Ethiopian are both pretty disconcerting. 

[skate_bored]

This isn't so awkward, but it's pretty awesome.

I was visiting my girlfriend at her college last week. One of the nights I was there, we had half a bottle of bourbon, and we drank it all. I hadn't been drunk in almost a year, and she's a total lightweight, so it was a good time. We ended up getting into it and after having sex for a while, we quickly switch to her giving me a blowjob.

So, I should mention that she gets nosebleeds very easily. If she rubs it the wrong way, or gets lightheaded, blood just starts flowing out. So when she got up really fast she started gushing from her nose. I was about to get up and stop so she could clean herself up, but she just kept going and started rubbing the blood all over my chest. I've never seen so much blood in my life. Luckily, I'm not grossed out by much, so she kept going for a minute until there was so much blood all over us, that it looked like she bit my dick off. Definitely the best / funniest sexual experience in my young life.



Had to crop out my junk, sorry GAY 

by far the best post in a while on Slap. great photo btw

[ill_Murray]

As a teenager I once fingerblasted a chick at a concert as a David Bowie-look a like took photos of us from a row back. 

[shit_for_brains]

Sweet bone shadow dude.

My wife jerked me off today and it made me really nostalgic. Last time I got a straight hand job with no other action was in like 1997. 9/11 really changed things.

[KING TUT]

a hand job can be a beautiful thing

[Lance]

a hand job can be a beautiful thing

This is so true, and I hate that most people don't understand this fact.

[poor alice]

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a hand job can be a beautiful thing

[close]

This is so true, and I hate that most people don't understand this fact.

The only time's I've had decent handjobs has been when the girl is whacking me off into her own mouth, other than thit they have been shit.
A shit blow job is way better than a shit hand job.

[tobey]

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a hand job can be a beautiful thing

[close]

This is so true, and I hate that most people don't understand this fact.

[close]

The only time's I've had decent handjobs has been when the girl is whacking me off into her own mouth, other than thit they have been shit.
A shit blow job is way better than a shit hand job.

i hate blow jobs, i never been able to cum with just a blow job so i feel bad for the girl going at it for like 10 minutes. I usually fake moan saying i like it but i just feel bad for them so i usually say like "oh you got me so turned on i want to fuck you" that always works by the way

[essal]

you need to relax tobey...

[Rusty_Berrings]

i hate blow jobs

kinda weird.

[poor alice]

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i hate blow jobs

[close]

kinda weird.

I don't think it's weird, probably just not had very good ones.
I had a killer one last weekend, I woke up with.... a bit of a hangover

In a friends house beside an old ex of sorts who claims to be a lesbian these days (Worst lesbian ever by the way, this is the second time in a month that I've fucked her). We had fucked the night before and ended up going at it again that morning. At one stage she starts blowing me and fuck, if that wasn't one of the wettest, deepest blow jobs I've ever had. The only downside was I was so close to blowing my load in her mouth and she reverts back to wanting to fuck me, in my delicate state this did NOT seem like a win.

I suppose this isn't awkward, but it did GET awkward. See, I had left her with a serious hickey in a very prominent position on her neck as well as few scrab marks on her shoulder. Earlier this week, a group of us was meeting up for some drinks but little did this girl know that her girlfriend would be there. I didn't know untill after the deed had been done that this was infact her girlfriend and now I feel all sorts of weird seeing as I get on with her gf quite well, we both study at the same uni and a similar degree. So while I'm sitting talking to people, including her girlfriend it only clicks at the end of the night that the reason the girl was sitting with a scarf on, in this ridiculously warm bar, nervously tightening it and touching it every 2 minutes to make sure it's still tied tight is because of my "marking" of her.
'Twas a good night all the same.