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General Discussion => WHATEVER => Topic started by: sexualhelon on September 19, 2019, 12:03:27 AM
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Does this deserve it's own "whatever" thread? I'm curious to hear everyone's thoughts or experiences on this. I'll start with my current situation:
Background:
So my lady - now wife - and I have been together for 6 years now. It's never really been your typical marriage. We met when I was traveling through Europe, she then had an internship in NYC, and then we had a discussion on how to best be together which resulted in us getting married. It was between me moving London at the time or her to NYC. Since we chose NYC the green card took a year and half. During which we talked about allowing each other to hook up with other people. I did, she didn't. Once we were physically together - the last 4 years - I obviously quit. But the desire was historically there, albeit different than now.
Currently:
- Edited, wrote a book the first time -
Long story short, trying one out now. Closest we got to this before was us being okay with each other hooking up with other people when we were apart for 1.5 years (visa stuff). I took advantage of it, she didn't. My wife started the discussion and didn't know what she really wanted so things started off weird, confusing, and unclear. First she wanted to make out with a girl, then hook up with a coworker. Neither happened.
She met some dude clubbing, disappeared to meet him a few times, and she seemed to get attached super quickly. we talked more, clarified things, made rules, then guy broke it off with her. She was bummed, cried. Meanwhile, over these 3 months, I've been aware I could hook up with people but don't really care. After the last thing, she said maybe we could hit pause. Seems like she's confused and figuring shit out. We'll see where it goes. I'd like to think this is just one of those strange, turbulent bits in our relationship. Because, by normal standards, I guess our relationship has always been pretty intense with strange situations and what not.
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I’m drunk and it was too long to read but listen, I wish you the best.
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From the 3 seconds I tried to read this it sounds like a fucking mess.
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From the 3 seconds I tried to read this it sounds like a fucking mess.
Ha, it is pretty fucking long and I'm aware. Maybe I should just shorten or delete my long ass story.
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Sounds like she wants this open thing more than you do... if thats the case its not going to work man, ticking time bomb. If you're not feeling it, you have to tell her how you feel and if she values banging other dudes over something real with you then it might be time to move on....
I was seeing a girl who was poly for a while, told me shes always been in open things, i didnt really give a shit cause i wasnt super invested anyway and knew it was just some fun for the time but i knew it wouldnt work long term. If i love someone, i dont want to share them, if my current chick suggested open relationship, id say if you want to see other people go for it but i wont be around.
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Sounds like she wants this open thing more than you do... if thats the case its not going to work man, ticking time bomb. If you're not feeling it, you have to tell her how you feel and if she values banging other dudes over something real with you then it might be time to move on....
I was seeing a girl who was poly for a while, told me shes always been in open things, i didnt really give a shit cause i wasnt super invested anyway and knew it was just some fun for the time but i knew it wouldnt work long term. If i love someone, i dont want to share them, if my current chick suggested open relationship, id say if you want to see other people go for it but i wont be around.
This is the truth. Unless you’re into that sort of thing and I gather you aren’t.
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Sounds like she wants this open thing more than you do... if thats the case its not going to work man, ticking time bomb. If you're not feeling it, you have to tell her how you feel and if she values banging other dudes over something real with you then it might be time to move on....
I was seeing a girl who was poly for a while, told me shes always been in open things, i didnt really give a shit cause i wasnt super invested anyway and knew it was just some fun for the time but i knew it wouldnt work long term. If i love someone, i dont want to share them, if my current chick suggested open relationship, id say if you want to see other people go for it but i wont be around.
Thanks for the replies, nice to hear other peoples takes and feel like I'm not crazy.
TBH, the poly thing bothers me more than an open relationship. But, I mean, I hooked up with other people during our relationship when we were apart. I'd feel slightly contradictory to just say no to "trying" an open relationship. She's a little younger and didn't have as many partners as me. So I can get that she'd be curious about hooking up with other people but if she started doing it all the time then I'd probably get bummed. If she needs to get it out of her system, go for it.
I'd like to think, that she just thinks this is what she wants or needs to get some release then be over it. It works for some people, not a hard no for me on "trying" it, but yeah I don't think either is for me long term. So we'll see.
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I've been pounding the same vag for the passed going on 17 years, so I don't know what to tell ya.
I looked at your blog and IG and I'm jealous of your life.
Good luck with your "being able to fuck whoever you want" issue. I hope it heals up soon.
Shalom
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Sounds like she wants this open thing more than you do... if thats the case its not going to work man, ticking time bomb. If you're not feeling it, you have to tell her how you feel and if she values banging other dudes over something real with you then it might be time to move on....
I was seeing a girl who was poly for a while, told me shes always been in open things, i didnt really give a shit cause i wasnt super invested anyway and knew it was just some fun for the time but i knew it wouldnt work long term. If i love someone, i dont want to share them, if my current chick suggested open relationship, id say if you want to see other people go for it but i wont be around.
Thanks for the replies, nice to hear other peoples takes and feel like I'm not crazy.
TBH, the poly thing bothers me more than an open relationship. But, I mean, I hooked up with other people during our relationship when we were apart. I'd feel slightly contradictory to just say no to "trying" an open relationship. She's a little younger and didn't have as many partners as me. So I can get that she'd be curious about hooking up with other people but if she started doing it all the time then I'd probably get bummed. If she needs to get it out of her system, go for it.
I'd like to think, that she just thinks this is what she wants or needs to get some release then be over it. It works for some people, not a hard no for me on "trying" it, but yeah I don't think either is for me long term. So we'll see.
I have had a few polyamorous ladies a few times in my life some were open about it some were just liars who snuck around my back. My times with them wasn't for me. Call it me being needy and lonely but when dealing with gals like that it is one of the reasons I had self value issues and have tried but failed lasting relationships.
Could be me cheating on them or...... hearing or being around someone who knows your lady stepped out on the side gets into your head which I try not to be jealous of buttttt.....
We are all animals and we want to be with one vagina no matter what the world tells us from threesome fantasies with some big titties ass for days with baby oil you know to some other type of shit.
It's better to self evaluate and as what you want in this world to hell with getting your feelings and heart broken when she steps out, to me that hurts worse then giving your all no way you should stand for it. I think you might need to draw a line in the sand not only for yourself worth but to give you peace of mind.
Look man I am a sex addict and have been caught up in some strange more than a few times also I'm a serial cheater. (not proud of it just stating a fact that has haunted me for years[
Just know you can't tame someone who wants to play the field of dicks, sooner you get that in you head the better you'll feel and you'll realize hey if you got it like that with ladies who want to fuck other chicks go for it, but make sure you state guidelines so not to get yourself in some bullshit you can't get out of.
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If you both can separate sex from feelings then it would work. Judging by her crying when the dude broke it off with her, she might not be there.
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I've been in casual relationships where that has been fine, if they became more serious there was a drop off in seeing other people without there being spoken thing. Once that becomes normal the rules have changed and if there is a third party on the cards it needs to be agreed beforehand, no just hooking up with randoms from the club or if you've had a fight.
If you don't want a relationship like that you have to say, perhaps she is looking for a reaction, wanting you to be possessive and protective of her.
People are crazy, and women doubly so.
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I feel like "open relationships" even when started with the best of intentions always get weird, especially if you're married. When I was in college me, my girl at the time and one of her friends had a three way and we were broken up probably a month afterwards. My girlfriend was the one pushing for it to happen and I was whatever about it so I just went with it and she ended up being the one who couldn't handle it afterward. Talking about shit is one thing but doing it is a completely different story, hope shit works out for ya'll bro.
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Open relationships are like "Tricks With Willy Santos". "Bend you knees, pop, flip the board and ride away clean."
Sounds good, does not work.
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Open relationships are like "Tricks With Willy Santos". "Bend you knees, pop, flip the board and ride away clean."
Sounds good, does not work.
lol/thread.
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solid thread to read, open relationship sounds like no relationship to me
*mentally gnared, iKobrakai
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Yea I couldn't do it. Just too much extra shit to have on your mind all the time. Just be single and fuck whoever you want or just stay with one chick.
If you can do the whole open relationship thing though more power too you. Still i'd just rather be single and have no attachments if you just wanna slay ass.
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I think they can work. Depends a lot on the people.
I could never be in a polyamorous situation because emotions and casual sex are 2 very different things to me (and because it seems strangely culty and weird for whatever reason), but I know plenty of people make it work. But I've been in open relationships that have worked and I liked it. There is always jealousy and weirdness but it's only human to have those feelings and they pass quickly.
Younger people seem to be more comfortable with non-monogamy than us older folks. I think open relationships are cool, because they satisfy a very primitive animal instinct while maintaining a meaningful relationship, but honesty (to yourself, your partner and your casual encounters) is key.
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Sounds like she wants this open thing more than you do...
It sounds to me the the OP wants sex with multiple partners and the wife wants a deeper relationship with other men.
OP was the one who was taking advantage of the “open” feature of the relationship and then when his wife found someone it was more serious for her and “rules” needed to be “clarified”.
Ideally, both partners want the same things in their dalliances, have the same rules, etc. but if you get what you really want and she doesn’t get what she really wants under a uniform rule system, then the rules aren’t really fair.
I think for this to work you need a really need a strong relationship or joint home ownership or kids or something that keeps the bond between you two the strongest gravitational force in your orbit. Otherwise it’s like you’re constantly test driving new cars and eventually one of you will find one you like better.
Good luck.
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Is there any other kind
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Sounds like she wants this open thing more than you do...
It sounds to me the the OP wants sex with multiple partners and the wife wants a deeper relationship with other men.
OP was the one who was taking advantage of the “open” feature of the relationship and then when his wife found someone it was more serious for her and “rules” needed to be “clarified”.
Ideally, both partners want the same things in their dalliances, have the same rules, etc. but if you get what you really want and she doesn’t get what she really wants under a uniform rule system, then the rules aren’t really fair.
I think for this to work you need a really need a strong relationship or joint home ownership or kids or something that keeps the bond between you two the strongest gravitational force in your orbit. Otherwise it’s like you’re constantly test driving new cars and eventually one of you will find one you like better.
Good luck.
Domt listen to this guy. Dont have kids, your situation is fucked up and always will be.
Doesnt sound like a serious "relationship" in any way shape or form. What youse have is convenience.
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Sounds like she wants this open thing more than you do...
It sounds to me the the OP wants sex with multiple partners and the wife wants a deeper relationship with other men.
OP was the one who was taking advantage of the “open” feature of the relationship and then when his wife found someone it was more serious for her and “rules” needed to be “clarified”.
Ideally, both partners want the same things in their dalliances, have the same rules, etc. but if you get what you really want and she doesn’t get what she really wants under a uniform rule system, then the rules aren’t really fair.
I think for this to work you need a really need a strong relationship or joint home ownership or kids or something that keeps the bond between you two the strongest gravitational force in your orbit. Otherwise it’s like you’re constantly test driving new cars and eventually one of you will find one you like better.
Good luck.
Domt listen to this guy. Dont have kids, your situation is fucked up and always will be.
Doesnt sound like a serious "relationship" in any way shape or form. What youse have is convenience.
Wasn't telling him to have kids. I was saying that unless there are some serious anchors in their relationship (didn't he say they were married?), this fucking around thing is probably going to blow the fuck up.
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Case by case with this topic. I know couple that have been together for decades and they swing around. You need to ask yourself what you actually want from the relationship. Sex is important, but it is not the most important part. If a sexual issue causes a breakup, that relationship was probably not on solid foundation in the first place.
But who am I kidding. I haven't had a gf in a decade, I really shouldn't give advice.
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It always looks and sounds good on paper. Almost never is once materialized.
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Case by case with this topic. I know couple that have been together for decades and they swing around. You need to ask yourself what you actually want from the relationship. Sex is important, but it is not the most important part. If a sexual issue causes a breakup, that relationship was probably not on solid foundation in the first place.
But who am I kidding. I haven't had a gf in a decade, I really shouldn't give advice.
Not entirely, say you and your partner haven't had sex in months, maybe even years. You come to grips with it because you love that person and its not the only thing they have to offer even though you still want/need sex in your life. They come home from work one day and tell you they want to have an open sexual relationship. I at least would take issue with this, like you want to have sex just not with me?
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I feel for you, man. Dr. Drew fielded this question frequently on Loveline and he always made it clear that, basically, open relationships just aren't worth it for a married couple. There are varying degrees (like sharing the same partner in a threesome, but never without you; or, you're both on the road a lot and just want a casual hook-up) but I'd imagine that the issue of trust would constantly be hanging over your relationship in some way.
Kudos for sharing your story, though. You described this messy situation perfectly.
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I feel like "open relationships" even when started with the best of intentions always get weird, especially if you're married. When I was in college me, my girl at the time and one of her friends had a three way and we were broken up probably a month afterwards. My girlfriend was the one pushing for it to happen and I was whatever about it so I just went with it and she ended up being the one who couldn't handle it afterward. Talking about shit is one thing but doing it is a completely different story, hope shit works out for ya'll bro.
Yeah that's weird how that happens?
One of my ex's was like oh I am bisexual and I was like ok... kept it cool on the outside on the inside I was like yeah son now I have that rare unicorn!!!!
So we're girl shopping at local punk shows and at Victoria Secret's various other shops where someone might be into it she's doing all the talking btw and macking on chicks sussing them out whatnot.
I had a friend who came into town whom I hadn't seen for a while and was living in SF for a bit I pick her up from the ATL airport.
It's just me and her mind you and she's asking me what's up with you and so and so..... I use to fool around with my friend but it was a platonic we've never considered being together as we were going in different directions in life me being into punk/metal she's was/is into raving/hippie culture goal oriented me I just like working and skating.
Well I just hint at what has been going down in regards of sexual frustration and asking her opinions of you think I should go through with this? Or should I say something or try to bring in another gal?
Longstory short she said to me the reason she's doing this is for her own interests so she can find a connection with the lady hence why she's doing the talking when girl shopping. (I had no clue) as most threesomes I've had were just like oh you want to hook up and you too? cool let's do this and that's that.
So as I tell my current gf at the time hey my friends in town hope you don't mind she sleeps on the couch? She says it's cool in a passive way.
So one day as I'm coming home from a telemarketing job I hear giggling and noises and screaming, I walk in my friend and gf are going down on each other. I say alright so this is happening and get naked the action was heated and awesome but as soon as I complete and watching them they're going at it like rabbits and you know how there's fucking and making love as way of showing passion and feelings this was going on, I admit with certain reluctant feeling I got jealous but they reached at me and we went for round two.
Fast forward after the events I am stoked but there's tension between the two ladies like unspoken sniping at each other and my gf is getting pissed at me for relatively nothing. Here I am young and naive I said something stupid y'all were banging like rabbits 3 days ago now you guy's are ready to swing at each other?
Needless to say I had to get a motel with my friend that night, I asked my lady friend wtf?! did I say something wrong? she went into a long sordid history of how women can switch like a lightbulb and even when they have sex. which led me to believe you can have hate sex with someone you despise but that's a different story.
It just boggles my mind when ladies are like that, if I was gay I'd hope the same respect of ok lets get down and not call each other afterwards and that'd be that. Sadly ladies are a whole other landmine of hoops and bullshit one has to deal with when adding another lady in the mix too much to deal with.
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Open relationships are like "Tricks With Willy Santos". "Bend you knees, pop, flip the board and ride away clean."
Sounds good, does not work.
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If you're doing the open thing why don't you tell your partner about your good ol' pal L33T and have her drop me a line? Tell her it's for charity.
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Well thanks for all the insights and voices of reason. She's been pretty torn up about it all day, cried a fair amount. If I comment on anything she gets bummed, doesn't wanna talk about it. I said if she was so torn up and cared more about being friends why not just text him that they can just be friends. Seems kind of in denial about the reality, doesn't want my advice on the matter.
Anyway, that may have been it. She said she doesn't want this anymore so we're putting it on indefinite pause. So, yeah, I value the honesty but I guess for us shit got weird/shitty real quick. I feel like I could sorta manage, I don't get attached like that, but don't care for it atm. It feels like this is something she thought she wanted to try but now realizes she gets feelings too quick. I'll say, from my experience, good that we opened up about all our wants/needs/desires but this shit requires way too much talking.
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I don't see anything wrong with polyamory as long as both parties consent, but most of the people I know who have done it never seem particularly happy about it. If it isn't to try and revitalize a failing relationship it's usually one partner who wants to do it with the other begrudgingly agreeing to it. One of my friends will constantly try and tell me how freeing and beautiful it is, but then will always complain when her partner does it even within their agreement.
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It will never work if it’s any sort of serious relationship
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Yea I couldn't do it. Just too much extra shit to have on your mind all the time. Just be single and fuck whoever you want or just stay with one chick.
If you can do the whole open relationship thing though more power too you. Still i'd just rather be single and have no attachments if you just wanna slay ass.
This is it, too much extra stuff going on that you don't need. I think it was fine when you were apart for 1.5 years figuring the green card out but once your together, I think it only adds problems if your not completely "together"
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Yea I couldn't do it. Just too much extra shit to have on your mind all the time. Just be single and fuck whoever you want or just stay with one chick.
If you can do the whole open relationship thing though more power too you. Still i'd just rather be single and have no attachments if you just wanna slay ass.
This is it, too much extra stuff going on that you don't need. I think it was fine when you were apart for 1.5 years figuring the green card out but once your together, I think it only adds problems if your not completely "together"
That's why it's not worth it to me. I feel like there's so many more things I should be spending my time on rather than worrying about other women and swiping on tinder. Being in two different relationships, starting a new one, would be way too much time and effort. Maybe if I just hooked up with someone on a solo holiday but I can refrain - don't really need it. It made more sense to me during that 1.8 years apart and part of that was also before our relationship was really solidified.
She brought it up, we talked way too much about it, decided to give it a go, she had a couple of crushes, got oddly attached to a dude after hanging out for 3 days who broke it off, and then we ended the open thing. Nothing really happened aside from emotional baggage. I think she thought that wanted another strong emotional intimate connection but realized it's too much for her/us and not worth it.
But yeah, I'd say that sucked but it does feel like it surprisingly brought us closer together in the end. I value her being honest about it rather than cheating.
Kudos to whoever's in an open or poly relationship though if that works for you.
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I don't see anything wrong with polyamory as long as both parties consent, but most of the people I know who have done it never seem particularly happy about it. If it isn't to try and revitalize a failing relationship it's usually one partner who wants to do it with the other begrudgingly agreeing to it. One of my friends will constantly try and tell me how freeing and beautiful it is, but then will always complain when her partner does it even within their agreement.
I feel like similar to your friend it's one sided. It becomes selfish and I've seen people wanting to have a person they can see as a "homebase" without giving the opportunity to go out and mess around. A figure that will care for them and be almost parental in some situations.
I personally, feel like I may be territorial and if I like someone it's just me and them and I put in and hope to give back what I've put in the relationship.
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No way. Especially with a wife. Think about this- Almost any woman can have sex/hook up anytime she wants, but it can be difficult for a guy to get with a quality chick, especially if she knows the guy is married and just wants sex.
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I read it all and read through some of the responses. Everyone (that I read) said the same thing but in different ways. I’d say you do whatever makes you the happiest and won’t jeopardize your happiness in the long run if things go bad. Like some people have said, if she values the sexual company of other people more than a real relationship/marriage with you, move on. It sucks, especially if you’re invested in her, but I promise the emotional toll that has is way less of a pain that it’d be if you drag it along. Maybe what she needs is for you to say ‘if you’re gonna be with other people, I’m not gonna be around’ and it’ll make her snap out of whatever headspace she’s in. If it doesn’t then that’s all you need to know. Although I dont know you, I hope it all works out for you man, I really do. If needed, my inbox is always open to talk through these things. Goes for anyone.
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Also really glad I took the time to come to this section of slap. Never really took the time to check it out, but it’s sick. Just people talking about everything unrelated to skateboarding (for the most part). I love skating with everything in me but the ‘skate skate skate’ mentality seems to turn me off from time to time. Just regular people talking about regular shit
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Yea I couldn't do it. Just too much extra shit to have on your mind all the time. Just be single and fuck whoever you want or just stay with one chick.
If you can do the whole open relationship thing though more power too you. Still i'd just rather be single and have no attachments if you just wanna slay ass.
This is it, too much extra stuff going on that you don't need. I think it was fine when you were apart for 1.5 years figuring the green card out but once your together, I think it only adds problems if your not completely "together"
That's why it's not worth it to me. I feel like there's so many more things I should be spending my time on rather than worrying about other women and swiping on tinder. Being in two different relationships, starting a new one, would be way too much time and effort. Maybe if I just hooked up with someone on a solo holiday but I can refrain - don't really need it. It made more sense to me during that 1.8 years apart and part of that was also before our relationship was really solidified.
She brought it up, we talked way too much about it, decided to give it a go, she had a couple of crushes, got oddly attached to a dude after hanging out for 3 days who broke it off, and then we ended the open thing. Nothing really happened aside from emotional baggage. I think she thought that wanted another strong emotional intimate connection but realized it's too much for her/us and not worth it.
But yeah, I'd say that sucked but it does feel like it surprisingly brought us closer together in the end. I value her being honest about it rather than cheating.
Kudos to whoever's in an open or poly relationship though if that works for you.
I don't know about you guys but I've got my own issues in head that I can barely keep contained. Also adding another person or worrying about my partner and her safety in pursuit of strange would teeter my self esteem I have to new lows. Like someone else said it seems selfish unless the person they get strange from they share and it is established the new person hey we aren't going to have feelings afterwards.....
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(https://pics.me.me/i-really-thinkthis-is-a-badidea-marge-iagree-with-youlin-4710062.png)
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TRIED THIS WITH MY EX WHEN I REALLY JUST WANTED TO BREAKUP. DIDNT WORK OUT TOO WELL. WELL, IT WORKED OUT GREAT BECAUSE WE EVENTUALLY BROKE UP. PRETTY SURE SHE LIVES IN THE WOODS AND DATES A GUY WITH A CLEFT FACE NOW.
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TRIED THIS WITH MY EX WHEN I REALLY JUST WANTED TO BREAKUP. DIDNT WORK OUT TOO WELL. WELL, IT WORKED OUT GREAT BECAUSE WE EVENTUALLY BROKE UP. PRETTY SURE SHE LIVES IN THE WOODS AND DATES A GUY WITH A CLEFT FACE NOW.
jesus fucking christ 😭
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My first serious girlfriend was a slut and let me bone her and her friend. It was pretty weird. We did it like 3 times that night and never again. But we weren’t together long after that. We were already going down the tubes but even though I’m the one that got to lay pipe I still felt a weird disconnect. I think I was already over her because she was shitty and fucking her friend just made me realize how I wasn’t happy.
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TRIED THIS WITH MY EX WHEN I REALLY JUST WANTED TO BREAKUP. DIDNT WORK OUT TOO WELL. WELL, IT WORKED OUT GREAT BECAUSE WE EVENTUALLY BROKE UP. PRETTY SURE SHE LIVES IN THE WOODS AND DATES A GUY WITH A CLEFT FACE NOW.
you really are fucking loud you know that?
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TRIED THIS WITH MY EX WHEN I REALLY JUST WANTED TO BREAKUP. DIDNT WORK OUT TOO WELL. WELL, IT WORKED OUT GREAT BECAUSE WE EVENTUALLY BROKE UP. PRETTY SURE SHE LIVES IN THE WOODS AND DATES A GUY WITH A CLEFT FACE NOW.
you really are fucking loud you know that?
SORRY HARD OF HEARING MY EARS ARE SHOT AND I AM FUCKING LOUD
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yo Helon, whats up homie
so i've been in and out of a few open relationships before, and i'm no expert on anything social cause im a fuckin runt as far as society goes. but i have some thoughts and i hope they can be a little bit helpful.
hopefully im not repeating others too much. anyhow here it goes.
the open relationship will always fail if you two are not mutually stoked on doing it. that probably seems obvious, but i'll explain a little.
like, it has to excite you two. that you are together and encouraging each other to explore sex / romance with others.
more than excitement, this has got to be something that turns you two on. makes the attraction between each other stronger in a way. like it deepens the bond you have, adds some kinky magic to it. and it has to be something you are super stoked to talk about. and talk about very often! intertwining the sex-life-aspect with the communication-aspect. its like being hyped up bandmates when things are working best. communicating and interacting without missing a beat. its pretty tight and worth the communication that goes into it, when its working.
but i dont mean things should be exciting all the time.
granted, the second it becomes stressful and confusing its a bad sign. someone is hiding something or something is not clicking.
that being said, all good open relationships i've been in have been sustained by working thru confusion and getting back to the stoke part. if things are confusing now, talk it out. its either a sign that its time to catch up and start a new page ... or that its time to move on.
hopefully its just a new page, no turmoil for you and your ducky. but, if it is a time to move on, good luck and swag it up out there.
if its a bad open relationship, its gonna be a shitshow. god speed that does not happen for you.
anyway, peace out 8)
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I’ve been in an open relationship for 7ish years and we’ve been married for 3 now. Works for us but it’s a bit less taboo and more accepted in ths gay community. I dont really fuck with Polyamory though. I’ve seen alot of Triads(+) and most dont make it out of the first year or so. Usually ends with two splitting off from one and getting married or being in a LTR. If someone drops a hint at trying to get in on me and my Husbands relationship we both see that as a red flag and wont hook up with them.
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fuck her mom
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I've been in open relationships for the past 8-10 years. There are definitely times that are frustrating and confusing, like when i'd get up super early to go do something nice for my girl like wake her up and make an awesome breakfast, only to turn up at her house and find she's there with another person. Or if I was having a bad mental health week and needed my loved one for support, but they were busy with a different lover and not returning calls/texts as much as I hoped. There's a lot of bullshit that comes up, but I still prefer relationships to be open. It made me a better communicator and all my relationships with peole are better for it.
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TL,DR but i believe OP is looking for a bull on Slap.
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I've been in open relationships for the past 8-10 years. There are definitely times that are frustrating and confusing, like when i'd get up super early to go do something nice for my girl like wake her up and make an awesome breakfast, only to turn up at her house and find she's there with another person. Or if I was having a bad mental health week and needed my loved one for support, but they were busy with a different lover and not returning calls/texts as much as I hoped. There's a lot of bullshit that comes up, but I still prefer relationships to be open. It made me a better communicator and all my relationships with peole are better for it.
No diss to you but it sounds like a total nightmare.
By the way, how the fuck do, you people, even find multiple people willing to bang you?
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I've been in open relationships for the past 8-10 years. There are definitely times that are frustrating and confusing, like when i'd get up super early to go do something nice for my girl like wake her up and make an awesome breakfast, only to turn up at her house and find she's there with another person. Or if I was having a bad mental health week and needed my loved one for support, but they were busy with a different lover and not returning calls/texts as much as I hoped. There's a lot of bullshit that comes up, but I still prefer relationships to be open. It made me a better communicator and all my relationships with peole are better for it.
No diss to you but it sounds like a total nightmare.
Yeaaaa that sounds awful
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TL,DR but i believe OP is looking for a bull on Slap.
we need to get 1337 hooked up with op. He’s been looking for some pussy to jump on.
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I've been in open relationships for the past 8-10 years. There are definitely times that are frustrating and confusing, like when i'd get up super early to go do something nice for my girl like wake her up and make an awesome breakfast, only to turn up at her house and find she's there with another person. Or if I was having a bad mental health week and needed my loved one for support, but they were busy with a different lover and not returning calls/texts as much as I hoped. There's a lot of bullshit that comes up, but I still prefer relationships to be open. It made me a better communicator and all my relationships with peole are better for it.
No diss to you but it sounds like a total nightmare.
Yeaaaa that sounds awful
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I feel like if you peel back the layers of an open relationship you generally expose one selfish narcissist and one person caught in the web. One person fucking whoever they want, the other fucking outside of the relationship to even the scales, even against their own desire for monogamy. My last roommate was in an open relationship. It was a nightmare to witness.
I don’t mean to generalize, but from what I’ve seen and experienced, open relationships only exist because of infidelity, and only last if the involved parties have children together.
So you guys should have kids.
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So you guys should have kids.
Most of us shouldn't.
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I give props to those couplea good for them. I think most chicks arent into it tho.
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I had two girls I was seeing simultaneously with success.
I was honest that I wasn’t exclusive with either, and I occasionally saw other women too. Details were never discussed but with one we sometimes laughed about bad dates. Though I will say I don’t think either was seeing anyone else with any sort of regularity.
I think I got lucky in that I fulfilled a need for both of them while neither wanted anything too serious. I’m still friends with both.
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Soft swinging
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I had two girls I was seeing simultaneously with success.
I was honest that I wasn’t exclusive with either, and I occasionally saw other women too. Details were never discussed but with one we sometimes laughed about bad dates. Though I will say I don’t think either was seeing anyone else with any sort of regularity.
I think I got lucky in that I fulfilled a need for both of them while neither wanted anything too serious. I’m still friends with both.
Yeah, I've heard it work out more for people in that type of situation - being upfront when you're still dating before you get serious. I feel like it's maybe common for people to end up in that situation? When people are dating it's likely they're seeing multiple people but would probably choose the one they liked the most instead of two to try and solidify things?
Seems like if it's working out for people it's either like that or they've been together for 5/10+ years. For the latter, still seems like those people have more issues/emotions with it and they don't leave their relationship open forever.
But also, like others said, you were all happy with the situation and it fulfilled what you both wanted which is the crucial thing.
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I had two girls I was seeing simultaneously with success.
I was honest that I wasn’t exclusive with either, and I occasionally saw other women too. Details were never discussed but with one we sometimes laughed about bad dates. Though I will say I don’t think either was seeing anyone else with any sort of regularity.
I think I got lucky in that I fulfilled a need for both of them while neither wanted anything too serious. I’m still friends with both.
Yeah, I've heard it work out more for people in that type of situation - being upfront when you're still dating before you get serious. I feel like it's maybe common for people to end up in that situation? When people are dating it's likely they're seeing multiple people but would probably choose the one they liked the most instead of two to try and solidify things?
Seems like if it's working out for people it's either like that or they've been together for 5/10+ years. For the latter, still seems like those people have more issues/emotions with it and they don't leave their relationship open forever.
But also, like others said, you were all happy with the situation and it fulfilled what you both wanted which is the crucial thing.
That's the key, nothing serious. It is pretty common among my friends but not for me. Women intimidated me for a while.
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the open relationship will always fail if you two are not mutually stoked on doing it. that probably seems obvious, but i'll explain a little.
like, it has to excite you two. that you are together and encouraging each other to explore sex / romance with others.
more than excitement, this has got to be something that turns you two on. makes the attraction between each other stronger in a way. like it deepens the bond you have, adds some kinky magic to it. and it has to be something you are super stoked to talk about. and talk about very often! intertwining the sex-life-aspect with the communication-aspect. its like being hyped up bandmates when things are working best. communicating and interacting without missing a beat. its pretty tight and worth the communication that goes into it, when its working.
I don't have extensive experience with open relationships, but this was definitely the best thing about it. The communication and openness was really refreshing at the time, and it felt like we were close in a different way than before. We could joke with each other about the people we were seeing and trade advice and stories. It made us feel even more like best friends.
But - that relationship ended because she wanted to be with someone else. That was over two years ago, and they just got engaged. I feel like most people would see this as a sign to never be in an open relationship, but I think it worked out for the best. We're both happier now, and with people who fit our needs a little better. There were parts of that open relationship I regret, but most of those were little mistakes that I made along the way. I'm glad that I got the experience to do it.
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I had two girls I was seeing simultaneously with success.
I was honest that I wasn’t exclusive with either, and I occasionally saw other women too. Details were never discussed but with one we sometimes laughed about bad dates. Though I will say I don’t think either was seeing anyone else with any sort of regularity.
I think I got lucky in that I fulfilled a need for both of them while neither wanted anything too serious. I’m still friends with both.
Yeah, I've heard it work out more for people in that type of situation - being upfront when you're still dating before you get serious. I feel like it's maybe common for people to end up in that situation? When people are dating it's likely they're seeing multiple people but would probably choose the one they liked the most instead of two to try and solidify things?
Seems like if it's working out for people it's either like that or they've been together for 5/10+ years. For the latter, still seems like those people have more issues/emotions with it and they don't leave their relationship open forever.
But also, like others said, you were all happy with the situation and it fulfilled what you both wanted which is the crucial thing.
Women still intimidate me
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Everything intimidates me.
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Everything intimidates me.