Scientists have identified a new species of animals which goes by the scientific name
Bozo doofagus. Individuals of the
B. doofagus species, or more commonly known as "Chudweisers", have been known to spend most of their time searching for mates but in most occasions are unsuccessful in their attempts. In the rare event that a chudweiser finds a mate, the female companion has precisely ingested such a large amount of alcohol that she perceives the chudweiser as a gorilla or a more highly evolved species and will thus engage in the
B. doofagus' unorthodox mating rituals. Tests on a sample of 15 chudweisers, who were all caught at various house parties (of which the chudweisers were on average 6 years older then the average attendee age), indicate that this newly identified species diet consists mainly of store bought microwavable products, convenience store ready-to-go food items, various energy drinks and Bud-Light.
B. doofagus individuals tend to wear clothing which implies a level of advanced intelligence, but on the contrary, the clothing that these individuals wear tends to come from discount racks at skateboard shops and other extreme sport orientated retailers. The scientific community is thrilled to have discovered this species and anthropologist can't wait to study some of the more profane acts of their day-to-day lives.
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