Uh fuck, pretty much everything you can do is more trouble than it's worth.
My honest advice is just to go read a book. Being sober isn't awful, just chill til you can pick up another sack.
But if you're dead set on getting fucked up, I can think of at least four things that I've learned from dumb friends.
Firstly, if you have any Robotussin with dextromethorphan in it, you can chug that if you're feeling adventurous. Just google "Robotripping" for more info.
I don't feel like explaining it, but google "getting high off nutmeg."
Sounds silly, but it's legit, provided you wanna ingest some awful tasting shit and feel awful for days afterward.
You can take a bunch of Dramamine (I think they call them gravol in Canada).
Again, use google for more info.
And lastly, and what I recommend if you truly can't stand being sober, is just to drink a bunch of Listerine or whatever mouthwash you have that has a high alcohol content. Again, I don't think you should do this, but if you must do one of these things, this is probably the one that hurts your body the least.
So yeah, don't do any of these things, but whatever...