jokes

[StabMasterArson]

What do you tell a black Jew?

to the back of the oven sir.

[StabMasterArson]

why do jews have such big noses?


because air is FREE!

[Ronald Wilson Reagan]

why did it suck being a black jew during the holocaust.... because you had to stand in the back of the furnace.

What do you tell a black Jew?

to the back of the oven sir.

we get it.

[xi3388]

Expand Quote

why did it suck being a black jew during the holocaust.... because you had to stand in the back of the furnace.

[close]

Expand Quote

What do you tell a black Jew?

to the back of the oven sir.

[close]

we get it.

i was going to say the same thing so i'll just say... diddo?

[brent]

how many turkeylukerys does it take to screw in a light bulb?




   well first, locate a burned out light bulb. turn off any power flowing to the light bulb. remove batteries, turn the switch to off, unplug it, whatever. grasp burned out light bulb and twist counter-clockwise (lefty loosey) to remove. the bulb may be difficult to access, depending on location and B.A.C. you may need to use a ladder.

   if the bulb is stuck, or the retainer turns with the bulb (which is easy to notice if after turning the bulb one turn and releasing it, it turns back a bit) you will need to either hold the retainer with the other hand or disassemble the lamp. for that you need to either unplug the lamp or shut down electricity in your house. keep in mind that normally roof lights and electrical sockets are managed by different fuses, so in case of doubt shut down the electricity for the whole house. Have a flashlight handy if necessary. if the bulb is still stuck, see article How to Change a Stuck Lightbulb.
   
   properly dispose of burned out light bulb. take fresh, non-burned out compact flouresent (CFC) light bulb and gently twist it clockwise (righty tighty ) until it seats with light but firm pressure in the socket. be sure the switch to the light is off when you do this. the CFC bulb will save you money AND each CFC bulb saves about 500 pounds of coal.

[StabMasterArson]

Expand Quote

why did it suck being a black jew during the holocaust.... because you had to stand in the back of the furnace.

[close]

Expand Quote

What do you tell a black Jew?

to the back of the oven sir.

[close]

we get it.

didn't see it, my bad.

[Ronald Wilson Reagan]

how many turkeylukerys does it take to screw in a light bulb?




   well first, locate a burned out light bulb. turn off any power flowing to the light bulb. remove batteries, turn the switch to off, unplug it, whatever. grasp burned out light bulb and twist counter-clockwise (lefty loosey) to remove. the bulb may be difficult to access, depending on location and B.A.C. you may need to use a ladder.

   if the bulb is stuck, or the retainer turns with the bulb (which is easy to notice if after turning the bulb one turn and releasing it, it turns back a bit) you will need to either hold the retainer with the other hand or disassemble the lamp. for that you need to either unplug the lamp or shut down electricity in your house. keep in mind that normally roof lights and electrical sockets are managed by different fuses, so in case of doubt shut down the electricity for the whole house. Have a flashlight handy if necessary. if the bulb is still stuck, see article How to Change a Stuck Lightbulb.
   
   properly dispose of burned out light bulb. take fresh, non-burned out compact flouresent (CFC) light bulb and gently twist it clockwise (righty tighty ) until it seats with light but firm pressure in the socket. be sure the switch to the light is off when you do this. the CFC bulb will save you money AND each CFC bulb saves about 500 pounds of coal.

Please put me on ignore. Your crying is getting annoying. You have an unhealthy hatred that just comes out of you without any agitation on my part. Its annoying. Don't like my posts? Don't read them.

[baxty]

I heard a good joke today but I can't really spell the sound you make.

but hear it is anyways.

Say pussy back words. 

s-h-u-r-l-p

[Wizard Fuck]

lol

[AfroSheen]

I seriously have nothing against black people but:

whats long and hard on a black man? (don't take it the wrong way)





first grade.

[Diesel]

STOP FUCKING POSTING

[skaterdavid]

I heard a good joke today but I can't really spell the sound you make.

but hear it is anyways.

Say pussy back words. 

s-h-u-r-l-p

? i don't get it

[AfroSheen]

STOP FUCKING POSTING

WTF? why?

[baxty]

Expand Quote

I heard a good joke today but I can't really spell the sound you make.

but hear it is anyways.

Say pussy back words. 

s-h-u-r-l-p

[close]

? i don't get it

Id have to talk to you in real life to really get the joke.

[wuust]

post it on youtube

[mr. otsu]

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods.  The bear turns to the rabbit and says "Excuse me, do you have problems of shit sticking to your fur?"  The rabbit answers "No".  So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

[heckler]

What does a deadhead say when he doesn't have any drugs?

This music sucks.

[crapface]

That sucked so much it went over and turned good.

[xi3388]

It's one of those jokes that's better to tell in person.  You can embellish it all you want then.  The only time I can tell it though is in a room full of white dudes, or if Deaf Paul is there then it's cool too.

sounds like a good joke to tell descendants of john smith...

[brycickle]

Why?  Was he gay?

[rocklobster]

a woman leave the womens battery clinic with 2 black eyes, wheres the first place she goes?



the kitchen if she knows whats good for her




whats the best part about dating a homeless girl??



you can drop her home anywhere




how do you starve a hippie??



hide his money under the soap....

[McDuff]

a guy and his giraffe go into a bar. both of them get shitfaced, and the giraffe ends up passing out on the floor. the guy gets up to leave and the bartender says "hey, you cant just leave that lyin' there". so the guy says "thats not a lion, its a giraffe."

kinda corny, but i love it.

[Wizard Fuck]

2 gay guys named Tom and Earl are having ass sex. When they stop, Tom says "I'm gonna go use the bathroom, don't jack off till I come back." So Earl agrees. When Tom comes out of the bathroom he looks  and sees cum all over the bed and he says "I told you not to jack off." And Earl says "I didn't, I farted."

[cahl]

2 gay guys named Tom and Earl are having ass sex. When they stop, Tom says "I'm gonna go use the bathroom, don't jack off till I come back." So Earl agrees. When Tom comes out of the bathroom he looks  and sees cum all over the bed and he says "I told you not to jack off." And Earl says "I didn't, I farted."

....wat

[xi3388]

Why?  Was he gay?

no but that makes about as much sense as the joke did...

[tonycoxhox]

a kid just graduated highschool and his grandpa comes to visit him and asks his parents where the kid is. "hes in his room using that darn computer again". the grandfather goes upstairs and knocks on the door. there is no answer. he goes into the room and he finds his grand son stroking his steaming cock of justice with earphones on, looking at latina big boob porn.

a forty year old man is in his room, and his mom comes to tell him to get a job for god sakes. she opens the door to find her 40 year old son using a pink fake pussy flopping away his purple boner while watching a big black cock entering a latinas asshole on his computer and the room smells like squid and cheese.

a 13 year old boy loves icys. he likes peach ones. he likes to eat them in the bath because he gets to touch the icy and then wash off the stickiness right after. his mom gets home from a hard days work and is feeling pretty good. she sees her sons cloths right out side of the bathroom, and thinks it would be a happy idea to bring her son a peach icy. she goes and gets one, puts it on his favorite plate, and goes and opens the bathroom door with a credit card to surprise her son that is doing good in school. she opens the door and finds her son with a peach icy already in his hand and he is sticking it in and out of his lubed asshole, while stroking his teeny boner that will one day bloom into one like his moms husband.

[BriDen]

^^^^^
That is a pretty terrible joke, but I'm nevertheless laughing my ass off.

[wake and bacon]

so stupid

[chuck d]

i know, right?  fuck hilary.

[picklesickshuv-it]

he likes to eat them in the bath because he gets to touch the icy and then wash off the stickiness right after.