Awkward Sexual Experiences

[Goblinshark]

i fucked a chick while watching the room a few weeks back....

[mandibleclaw]

i fucked a chick while watching the room a few weeks back....

were you tearing her apart?  ....lisa?

[justis14]

through up and then made out with a chick that watched me throw up...












shit was so cash

[Goblinshark]

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i fucked a chick while watching the room a few weeks back....

[close]

were you tearing her apart?  ....lisa?

anything for my princess!

[EricLogan]

When I was 5 or 6, while foraging for christmas presents I stumbled upon my dad's Playboy collection in his room on that upper shelf above where your shirt hanger is. Being a good friend, I chose to share the wealth, and next time I saw my buddy, this next door neighbor kid named O'Dell, I told him about said treasures. We snuck into my house and made our way downstairs to my parents room, and fanned out all of the playboys on their bed. O'Dell and I had then went through the selection, and set out our personal favorites, and then for some reason opened the centerfolds, layed them down on the bed, pulled our pants down to our knees and began smearing our limp, sweaty little 6 year old cocks all over the centerfolds. This went on for a little while before the jig was up. My mom came in to witness the ghastly visage. Whilst getting my ass handed to me, my buddy narrowly escaped.

I also gave the back cover of the vhs sleeve for Roger Rabbit the same treatment, but spacifically rubbing my nuts all over Jessica Rabbit.

I think this Playboy scenerio was the first of my many attempts at fucking inanimate things, or maybe this is the first moment I began actually remembering things.

[Diogenes]

When I was 5 or 6, while foraging for christmas presents I stumbled upon my dad's Playboy collection in his room on that upper shelf above where your shirt hanger is. Being a good friend, I chose to share the wealth, and next time I saw my buddy, this next door neighbor kid named O'Dell, I told him about said treasures. We snuck into my house and made our way downstairs to my parents room, and fanned out all of the playboys on their bed. O'Dell and I had then went through the selection, and set out our personal favorites, and then for some reason opened the centerfolds, layed them down on the bed, pulled our pants down to our knees and began smearing our limp, sweaty little 6 year old cocks all over the centerfolds. This went on for a little while before the jig was up. My mom came in to witness the ghastly visage. Whilst getting my ass handed to me, my buddy narrowly escaped.

I also gave the back cover of the vhs sleeve for Roger Rabbit the same treatment, but spacifically rubbing my nuts all over Jessica Rabbit.

I think this Playboy scenerio was the first of my many attempts at fucking inanimate things, or maybe this is the first moment I began actually remembering things.

Aha, Freudian much.

[Donkey Lips]

Eric Logan speaking up for the child(pervert) in all of us.

[jimi420]

My first girlfriend made me roar each time after i nutted. The first time was just strange. I was going and just busted and awkwardly looked down and said "roar?" after a while i got used to it and add some showmanship to it but it was just awkward the first time.

My most recent ex didn't tell me she was on her period. imagine my surprise when i pull my dick out and there's blood all over it. That still didn't stop me the other times though.

Another time i was having sex with this girl, and out of nowhere she said "Fuck me Nigger!" I later found out she was dating someone that i knew. we had been fuck buddies for a month before i found this out.

[gmgscigmgsci]

I just remember my tongue stumbling upon the wrong hole during a 69

[jack burton]

^ The vagina?

[LloydChristmas]

I just remember my tongue stumbling upon the wrong hole during a 69

no such thing...i don't get it.

[Joe Pesci]

dick hole? i just dont get how you can suck your own dick while trying to 69

[oldcasual]

through up and then made out with a chick that watched me throw up...

This happend once, was talking with her, started hurling into a fountain, someone said there were fish in there, then the next thing I know we're makin out. I need to be a dick more cause I'm always nice and that don't get a man nowheres

[Bobbito]

The girl I was seeing towards the end of summer decided to come to town for her bf's birthday. After some drinks and her bf going home early, we somehow ended up at her buddy's house. To make a long story short, we fucked on some sofa cushions set up on the floor and then I had to nut off into an empty beer bottle. The beer bottle part was the awkward part.

[saucy ragu]

The girl I was seeing towards the end of summer decided to come to town for her bf's birthday. After some drinks and her bf going home early, we somehow ended up at her buddy's house. To make a long story short, we fucked on some sofa cushions set up on the floor and then I had to nut off into an empty beer bottle. The beer bottle part was the awkward part.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you left that part out earlier. Did you get it all in? 'Cause that'd be some precision gunslinging.

[Mein Fuhrer! I can walk!]

Expand Quote

The girl I was seeing towards the end of summer decided to come to town for her bf's birthday. After some drinks and her bf going home early, we somehow ended up at her buddy's house. To make a long story short, we fucked on some sofa cushions set up on the floor and then I had to nut off into an empty beer bottle. The beer bottle part was the awkward part.

[close]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you left that part out earlier. Did you get it all in? 'Cause that'd be some precision gunslinging.

I hope you tried to shoot in from a distance, would multiply the radness of that situation

[Bobbito]

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The girl I was seeing towards the end of summer decided to come to town for her bf's birthday. After some drinks and her bf going home early, we somehow ended up at her buddy's house. To make a long story short, we fucked on some sofa cushions set up on the floor and then I had to nut off into an empty beer bottle. The beer bottle part was the awkward part.

[close]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you left that part out earlier. Did you get it all in? 'Cause that'd be some precision gunslinging.

[close]

I hope you tried to shoot in from a distance, would multiply the radness of that situation

haha most of it went in. This is saying a lot because it was super late at night, I was drunk, and I'm basically blind without my glasses on especially in the dark. That'd be an amazing feat to do it from a distance! Reminds me of another story actually....

I was fucking this other girl from behind, kinda trying to rush the nut because I was gonna be late for work otherwise. This chick loved to get dirty so I told her straight up "I'm nutting on your ass" to which she responded with a moaned and muffled 'yes'. Pull out and (once again, glasses off = Bob blind) aim a little too high and it shoots out to the back of her neck.....then the next one a little lower....then finally get a few shots on her ass. While this is happening, I can't help but start cracking up while she's still bent over not knowing what to do in an effort to not get her hair in the nut. I was poorly containing my laugh for the following 10 minutes while getting dressed and walking out her door. There's so many stories with this girl it's hilarious haha I'll post another one real soon.

[Donkey Lips]

She sounds like a definite winner? Got a pic of this champion so I can place a face to the story?

[Jack Klompis]

there should be a preteen edition of this thread, cause you know everybody gets a little wierd in their youth......i definitely have multiple memories of making girls touch my dick through my pants on the school bus........and then one time getting in trouble for showing my dick to some girls in a 5th grade game of truth or dare by a their mother, who of course called to tell my parents, wasn't hangin out over there anymore.......

[TheFreshSC]

She sounds like a definite winner? Got a pic of this champion so I can place a face to the story?

[Magic Pizza]

there should be a preteen edition of this thread, cause you know everybody gets a little wierd in their youth......i definitely have multiple memories of making girls touch my dick through my pants on the school bus........and then one time getting in trouble for showing my dick to some girls in a 5th grade game of truth or dare by a their mother, who of course called to tell my parents, wasn't hangin out over there anymore.......

That reminds me of this time when I was maybe 5 or 6, I was in school and I left class to go to the bathroom. When I was in there looking at the mirror I realized that I could pull me pants and underwear down a little bit, then let the shirt I was wearing cover my exposed self (because the shirt went down to my knees almost.)

So for the rest of that day I would flash people when they had their back to me, I think it just made me feel free and liberated, but there was something erotic about it too, because I wanted the other kids to see me, but I just didn't want to get in trouble.

[BriDen]

Expand Quote

there should be a preteen edition of this thread, cause you know everybody gets a little wierd in their youth......i definitely have multiple memories of making girls touch my dick through my pants on the school bus........and then one time getting in trouble for showing my dick to some girls in a 5th grade game of truth or dare by a their mother, who of course called to tell my parents, wasn't hangin out over there anymore.......

[close]

That reminds me of this time when I was maybe 5 or 6, I was in school and I left class to go to the bathroom. When I was in there looking at the mirror I realized that I could pull me pants and underwear down a little bit, then let the shirt I was wearing cover my exposed self (because the shirt went down to my knees almost.)

So for the rest of that day I would flash people when they had their back to me, I think it just made me feel free and liberated, but there was something erotic about it too, because I wanted the other kids to see me, but I just didn't want to get in trouble.

5 or 6? I did that just last week.

[GISM]

...bump. I have nothing to contribute. May this thread never die.

[j....soy.....]

I just remember my tongue stumbling upon the wrong hole during a 69

her ear?

[Dr Steve Brule]

Alright so...

this chick wanted to fool around in the back of my station wagon (the car i also used for delivering plants for my greenhouse job). We get kissin and move into the back, i folded the seats down.

It was after a grad party so i was not in the best of conditions, ya know.. So I made the terrible decision of going down on her. Her vag wasn't bad, trimmed up and didn't smell like a korean fish market.

Suddenly i have something in my mouth.. what the hell. Its fuzzy and hard - then i remembered I had some dried broom corn in the back of my car for work. I relaxed, pulled that thing out of my mouth.. and kept truckin.

Once again something else in my mouth.. poo chunk perhaps? Gross. I don't know what it was... but I then remembered i cleaned my car up after I delivered that broom corn. There wasn't and plant remainder in my vehicle, it was all poo remainder of her anus. How did it get to her va-jay-jay? I don't know.

Then the greatest thing happened to me.. a cop drove by with his search-light on, seein if anyone was around in our cars. Luckily we didn't get caught, but it gave me a great excuse to kick out the girl who doesn't wipe her poop chute.

[finknoos]

Alright so...

this chick wanted to fool around in the back of my station wagon (the car i also used for delivering plants for my greenhouse job). We get kissin and move into the back, i folded the seats down.

It was after a grad party so i was not in the best of conditions, ya know.. So I made the terrible decision of going down on her. Her vag wasn't bad, trimmed up and didn't smell like a korean fish market.

Suddenly i have something in my mouth.. what the hell. Its fuzzy and hard - then i remembered I had some dried broom corn in the back of my car for work. I relaxed, pulled that thing out of my mouth.. and kept truckin.

Once again something else in my mouth.. poo chunk perhaps? Gross. I don't know what it was... but I then remembered i cleaned my car up after I delivered that broom corn. There wasn't and plant remainder in my vehicle, it was all poo remainder of her anus. How did it get to her va-jay-jay? I don't know.

Then the greatest thing happened to me.. a cop drove by with his search-light on, seein if anyone was around in our cars. Luckily we didn't get caught, but it gave me a great excuse to kick out the girl who doesn't wipe her poop chute.

[saucy ragu]

You sure you just weren't performing annalingus? Gotta be able to take a few mortor shots if you're gonna run through the trenches.

[Diogenes]

Alright so...

this chick wanted to fool around in the back of my station wagon (the car i also used for delivering plants for my greenhouse job). We get kissin and move into the back, i folded the seats down.

It was after a grad party so i was not in the best of conditions, ya know.. So I made the terrible decision of going down on her. Her vag wasn't bad, trimmed up and didn't smell like a korean fish market.

Suddenly i have something in my mouth.. what the hell. Its fuzzy and hard - then i remembered I had some dried broom corn in the back of my car for work. I relaxed, pulled that thing out of my mouth.. and kept truckin.

Once again something else in my mouth.. poo chunk perhaps? Gross. I don't know what it was... but I then remembered i cleaned my car up after I delivered that broom corn. There wasn't and plant remainder in my vehicle, it was all poo remainder of her anus. How did it get to her va-jay-jay? I don't know.

Then the greatest thing happened to me.. a cop drove by with his search-light on, seein if anyone was around in our cars. Luckily we didn't get caught, but it gave me a great excuse to kick out the girl who doesn't wipe her poop chute.

I call bullshit.
Corn is a shit stereotype.

[skate_bored]

ive been with many vaginas and even explored the asshole and have never ever found anything aside from a string. gnarly, yes, but enough of a warning sign to avoid anything below the clit. chicks are pretty clean usually...you sure it was shit? did it taste like shit?

and along with the tasting like shit subject, you guys ever wonder if maybe it doesnt taste like it smells? sometimes food smells weird and tastes great. never eaten shit, so i guess ill never know.

[steve]

ive been with many vaginas and even explored the asshole and have never ever found anything aside from a string. gnarly, yes, but enough of a warning sign to avoid anything below the clit. chicks are pretty clean usually...you sure it was shit? did it taste like shit?

and along with the tasting like shit subject, you guys ever wonder if maybe it doesnt taste like it smells? sometimes food smells weird and tastes great. never eaten shit, so i guess ill never know.