Author Topic: Awkward Sexual Experiences (Read 464467 times)

Omamori · « **Reply #570 on:** August 11, 2011, 08:33:40 PM »

These queef stories remind of something

I was fucking my ex from behind and I laid her down on her back (missionary is the only position she could climax in and it was her favorite)...right when I rammed my dick in her, she queefed. This queef was different that usual, it was like someone blew air on my balls. She chuckled and I just kept fucking her until she climaxed. For some reason the next day I asked her about the strong queef and she told me it was a fart, that's why she laughed. My only though was she farted on my balls.

InternetDaddy · « **Reply #571 on:** August 11, 2011, 08:38:02 PM »

Quote from: Tommy on August 11, 2011, 08:13:08 PM

hahah man I havent logged into this website in a long time.....I clicked on this thread first and was fuckin laughing at every story!! you guys are killin it ha
a few years ago i was with my girl (ex girl now!!!) and we went back to her place to fuck around....anyway we got inside and went straight to her room, the whole time i had to piss so bad i felt like my dick was going to explode. so we are on the bed and pretty much getting it on....my dick is like rigid firm cuz i have to piss so bad....and shes just riding on top of me. i turn her over to hit from the back and i was pounding her and shit but still had to piss hella bad so here where it gets kinda fucked up ha ha . i fuckin started to piss while im inside of her and she JUMPS off my dick fast and my hard dick is just spraying piss EVERY WHERE!! we were both wasted but needless to say we were both feelin awkward in the morning haha

you can piss when you're hard? I thought that was impossible.

saucy ragu · « **Reply #572 on:** August 11, 2011, 09:07:11 PM »

Quote from: InternetDaddy on August 11, 2011, 08:38:02 PM

Quote from: Tommy on August 11, 2011, 08:13:08 PM
Expand Quote
hahah man I havent logged into this website in a long time.....I clicked on this thread first and was fuckin laughing at every story!! you guys are killin it ha
a few years ago i was with my girl (ex girl now!!!) and we went back to her place to fuck around....anyway we got inside and went straight to her room, the whole time i had to piss so bad i felt like my dick was going to explode. so we are on the bed and pretty much getting it on....my dick is like rigid firm cuz i have to piss so bad....and shes just riding on top of me. i turn her over to hit from the back and i was pounding her and shit but still had to piss hella bad so here where it gets kinda fucked up ha ha . i fuckin started to piss while im inside of her and she JUMPS off my dick fast and my hard dick is just spraying piss EVERY WHERE!! we were both wasted but needless to say we were both feelin awkward in the morning haha

[close]
you can piss when you're hard? I thought that was impossible.

Dog.. you've never woken with morning wood and had your welcoming-the-day spray? The "myth" of queefs, pissing when hard.. such boys.

Donkey Lips · « **Reply #573 on:** August 12, 2011, 04:31:36 AM »

Pissing with a boner is your first challenge of the day. If you can work that situation out comfortably, you're on you way to having a swell morning.

finknoos · « **Reply #574 on:** August 12, 2011, 04:33:11 AM »

Quote from: Donkey Lips on August 12, 2011, 04:31:36 AM

Pissing with a boner is your first challenge of the day. If you can work that situation out comfortably, you're on you way to having a swell morning.

piss in the shower, problem avoided

Tale Crab · « **Reply #575 on:** August 12, 2011, 04:52:06 AM »

I go for the superman.

Prison Wallet · « **Reply #576 on:** August 12, 2011, 07:35:22 AM »

Quote from: finknoos on August 12, 2011, 04:33:11 AM

Quote from: Donkey Lips on August 12, 2011, 04:31:36 AM
Expand Quote
Pissing with a boner is your first challenge of the day. If you can work that situation out comfortably, you're on you way to having a swell morning.
[close]

piss in the shower, problem avoided

The real problem is taking a dump with the morning bone. Tucking it down for the after poo pee sucks.

My go-to morning pee is in the back yard where aim isn't an issue.

Beeda Weeda · « **Reply #577 on:** August 12, 2011, 08:17:13 AM »

i also prefer to pee outside. its quite primal

InternetDaddy · « **Reply #578 on:** August 12, 2011, 08:23:02 AM »

I can't believe I've gone my whole life without pissing with a boner. Shit just seems too hard.

pun intended.

skate_bored · « **Reply #579 on:** August 12, 2011, 09:50:04 AM »

Quote from: Beeda Weeda on August 12, 2011, 08:17:13 AM

i also prefer to pee outside. its quite primal

i probably pee outside at least 5 times a week.

saucy ragu · « **Reply #580 on:** August 12, 2011, 01:51:57 PM »

Whenever I come home drunk, I'm too filled up to wait until I punch in the garage door code, go up the stairs, take off my shoes to avoid waking anyone up and then get to the bathroom to finally unload. So I go against the wall, and attempt to construct figures like skyscrapers or giant wallflowers with my urine. I tried to get a picture last time but the roll had ended already. One day.

pollutedvision · « **Reply #581 on:** August 12, 2011, 05:17:10 PM »

Quote from: macgruber on August 11, 2011, 12:07:35 PM

yeah queefs happen. just don't laugh when it does. if the queef didn't kill the mood, the laughter will.

haha wise words man, but sometimes if you both laugh about it, it lightens the mood.

Karlos · « **Reply #582 on:** August 13, 2011, 12:45:52 PM »

Quote from: pollutedvision on August 12, 2011, 05:17:10 PM

Quote from: macgruber on August 11, 2011, 12:07:35 PM
Expand Quote
yeah queefs happen. just don't laugh when it does. if the queef didn't kill the mood, the laughter will.
[close]

haha wise words man, but sometimes if you both laugh about it, it lightens the mood.

so true. i've realized it's allright to smile though. you can't really be dead serious when having sex

pollutedvision · « **Reply #583 on:** August 13, 2011, 02:36:24 PM »

Quote from: Karlos on August 13, 2011, 12:45:52 PM

Quote from: pollutedvision on August 12, 2011, 05:17:10 PM
Expand Quote
Quote from: macgruber on August 11, 2011, 12:07:35 PM
Expand Quote
yeah queefs happen. just don't laugh when it does. if the queef didn't kill the mood, the laughter will.
[close]

haha wise words man, but sometimes if you both laugh about it, it lightens the mood.
[close]

so true. i've realized it's allright to smile though. you can't really be dead serious when having sex

In Europe I heard they make music with it

GISM · « **Reply #584 on:** August 13, 2011, 05:21:42 PM »

I've watched a girl queef on command

burm · « **Reply #585 on:** August 14, 2011, 01:37:34 AM »

Yeah, girls can also suck in air and queef it out. The vagina is a mysterious and powerful thing.

solo · « **Reply #586 on:** August 14, 2011, 10:38:01 PM »

Bumped into an ex gf, who's a huge slut now, while skating the other night and she suggested we hook up. Said fuck it, cause she has some double d tits, and we meet up today. We go to the cuts to fuck; the top of some stairwell or some shit. We're chillin and decide to rollplay. She was a schoolgirl and I was a tutor. Schooled that bitch. But either way we start making out and I'm fingering her. She's feeling it and, demanding head as extra credit, I whip my dick out. She said she would show me the g spot on guys and started sucking the tip. After a hot minute of that I went for the pussy. Remembering her newly attained slut status, I bust out a condom and swipe that bitch on like a ninja. She starts tripping about it saying she didn't wanna fuck with a condom. I shake my head in disgust and hold her arms down and run that bitch. I'm pretty sure she got off on it as a fantasy of hers or some shit. A few hours later she texted me and told me she was pregnant. It isn't mine though.

weedpop · « **Reply #587 on:** August 15, 2011, 12:34:46 AM »

Sounds like she might have been looking for you to be her baby daddy dude. Good for you for keeping it wrapped.

burm · « **Reply #588 on:** August 15, 2011, 12:54:16 AM »

One of the best decisions you'll ever make

frisco · « **Reply #589 on:** August 15, 2011, 01:28:30 AM »

post the tits

solo · « **Reply #590 on:** August 15, 2011, 04:20:44 AM »

Quote from: frisco on August 15, 2011, 01:28:30 AM

post the tits

sall i still got on the phone

Donkey Lips · « **Reply #591 on:** August 15, 2011, 04:25:07 AM »

+1 for the evidence.

frisco · « **Reply #592 on:** August 15, 2011, 04:26:32 AM »

fucking gnar that man, right now, because I cant

solo · « **Reply #593 on:** August 15, 2011, 04:32:17 AM »

Quote from: frisco on August 15, 2011, 04:26:32 AM

fucking gnar that man, right now, because I cant

i will. ahah this week's gonna be fun

Quote from: weedpop on August 15, 2011, 12:34:46 AM

Sounds like she might have been looking for you to be her baby daddy dude. Good for you for keeping it wrapped.

and you're spot on haha

Hercules Rockefeller · « **Reply #594 on:** August 15, 2011, 06:42:07 AM »

fucking picture is gone. i demand (yes, demand!) a reup.

Tale Crab · « **Reply #595 on:** August 15, 2011, 07:08:32 AM »

This man's demands must be met.

solo · « **Reply #596 on:** August 15, 2011, 11:40:36 AM »

Quote from: Hercules Rockefeller on August 15, 2011, 06:42:07 AM

fucking picture is gone. i demand (yes, demand!) a reup.

this is the bitch with giant tits

saucy ragu · « **Reply #597 on:** August 15, 2011, 12:17:11 PM »

She looks like a fun time.

Karlos · « **Reply #598 on:** August 18, 2011, 08:31:55 AM »

Quote from: solo on August 14, 2011, 10:38:01 PM

Bumped into an ex gf, who's a huge slut now, while skating the other night and she suggested we hook up. Said fuck it, cause she has some double d tits, and we meet up today. We go to the cuts to fuck; the top of some stairwell or some shit. We're chillin and decide to rollplay. She was a schoolgirl and I was a tutor. Schooled that bitch. But either way we start making out and I'm fingering her. She's feeling it and, demanding head as extra credit, I whip my dick out. She said she would show me the g spot on guys and started sucking the tip. After a hot minute of that I went for the pussy. Remembering her newly attained slut status, I bust out a condom and swipe that bitch on like a ninja. She starts tripping about it saying she didn't wanna fuck with a condom. I shake my head in disgust and hold her arms down and run that bitch. I'm pretty sure she got off on it as a fantasy of hers or some shit. A few hours later she texted me and told me she was pregnant. It isn't mine though.

g spot for guys is in the ass

alrightythen · « **Reply #599 on:** August 18, 2011, 05:08:56 PM »

Fuck yes solo for keeping this thread alive. And also, receive a gnar for the evidence!