i've only slept with 3 girls since last november. It's like I'm a virgin again.
This summer I was awarded a residency at a local University to write poetry for 1 week. It happened to be the week of my 27th birthday. There was a girl, Lilly, also in residency while celebrating her 21st birthday. We had a romping round of birthday sex. Well, her suite mate was a delightful Pakistani, who claimed to be a former heroin user and couldn't handle being around people drinking. She wasn't thrilled about Lilly and I drinking all night and then fucking. We were loud to the point where Sarah Pakinstani packed her bags, quit the residency, and sent a scathing message to the program director that she couldn't sleep or get anything done when she wanted to puke because people were fucking all night.
Later this summer, my friend from school asked me to help move her into the apartment she is now living in for grad school. I agreed, we'd had a crush on one another during the 2 years we've been friends, but she's always had a boyfriend and, well she's 6 years younger than I. So, anyhow, shit was kinda weird putting the bed together and smoking bowls, but we're cool. We moved her stuff into the house and had yet to meet her roommates. We go out to the bars and start drinking heady beers and smoking bowls. By the time we are walking back to her pad, we're making out. Back at the house, we still haven't met her roomies, head up to her spot, and start fucking. this girl was pretty loud and I was healthy this summer to the point were I could fuck for hours, so, we stayed up banging the bed against the wall. The roommate in the next room slammed his door and walked out of the house at some point. We woke the next day, at some breakfast, and introduced ourselves. they ask, "how long have you been together?" she says "we're not. my boyfriend is still at home." to make matters more interesting, this girl tells me how small her dudes dick is and how low his balls drop. I actually kind of like the guy, so this awkward as fuck. Especially, when I'm getting a coffee in town a few days later and he says "Steve! thanks for moving her in! I appreciate it" giving me a hug.
This past weekend, I hooked up with a girl I've known for years. It wasn't really very good, she laid there and let me rail away. Might as well have been using a rowing machine. So, again, she's unbelievable loud. I'm thinking to myself "damn, i'm not even into this. chill out." but i keep on keeping on. What was weird is that she rents a room from a married couple, who are cool, but whose room is the next over and who had to work at 8am. So here we are, getting it on, with this girl moaning away, and the people she lives with are trying to sleep after going to a hall and oates concert. The awkward part is when I try to sneak out of the house in the AM and both of them are sitting on the couch looking like they hadn't slept at all. They didn't wish me good bye.
Well, I lied, because I also got laid last NYE when I was in Cambodia.
I was at the FCC with this dude I called State Department. He is a little older and had money to blow so every group of white broads who walked by, he offered drinks to them. After hours, this British girl and a Khmer dude end up hanging out with us. We're drinking and bullshitting. I'm making up stories about why I was there and this girl, Sophie, starts getting into me. Around 2am she said "where's my new years kiss?" sits on my lap, and starts making out with me (her Khmer escort had left by this time). At about 330am we hop in a tuk-tuk, score some green, and head to the Heart of Darkness. We're in there drinking whisky shots, getting pummeled. We're dancing and dry humping and I'm trying to finger blast her on the floor and this Khmer hookers keep pulling my hand from under her skirt. We decide to peace out and call up my man Borei for a tuk tuk back the Golden Gate Hotel. I told her I had a roomie but she insisted we go to my spot. We get up to the room and she says "oh, fuck me, maybe we shoulda gone to my spot." I take a shit and when I exit the commode she's completely naked on top of my bed. I'm standing there, eyes going back and forth between her and the dude sleeping, absolutely wasted snoring, in the bed 3 feet away from mine. Sophie says "well, are you gonna fuck me or what?" I drop trou and with my freshly wiped bottom, hop into the bed and start fucking. I had some mean whisky dick and she starts screaming "FUCK ME BLOODY HARDER." This goes on for a spell, I fucked her doggy, legs up the head board, and I tried the pooper, but I was pretty wiped out with jet lag (It was my first full night in the Kingdom) and stopped. The next morning she was gone and I had a bed full of hair pins. I took the kid I shared a room with out for lunch and was worried he'd be pissed. The little fucker didn't say a thing!
Topic: Awkward Sexual Experiences (Read 464488 times)