Most pathetic/lame things you pretended to be into to get a girl/guy to like you

[TwisT]

when i was 17, my first girlfriend was really into the band MSI, so i acted like i was all down for it.

my best friend dated this vegan who made US go to this horrible vegan place. She was one of those people who couldnt eat anything in the kitchen and couldn't see how her lifestyle choice was inconvenient. only she liked to bake, and she would make these gross mushy eggless, butterless, milkless & refined sugarless cupcakes. I couldn't just not go or not eat her shit, cause she would whine to the homie about me being a jerk and insensitive and what not. So being the good friend i was, i tolerated her when she was around and gave my friend shit later.


my last girlfriend liked TLC which is generally bad programming. Breaking amish and Sister wives in particular. Id put up with it with no complaints, she was well aware id rather be watching something else.

[dillanharp]

With my ex it was a lot of "indie" music and tighter clothes, I pretended to be vegetarian for a month, shit i think I even own a cardigan.  As the years wore on I started turning back in to my old self and making her listen to Wu and Slayer.  That was back in like 05.   When I started dating my now wife I bought some polo shirts at Target so I could be somewhat presentable

[GOOD BLOKE]

basically just lying about my job. saying im a graphic designer or something, i'm sure there are more.

blind fisherman you need to get yourself laid son , it is than you will realise it doesn't matter how you get da poontang.

[GOOD BLOKE]

besides rape, rape no good blind fisherman

[JB]

basically just lying about my job. saying im a graphic designer or something, i'm sure there are more.

blind fisherman you need to get yourself laid son , it is than you will realise it doesn't matter how you get da poontang.

Did it work? I'm a graphic designer and I've never impressed any women with my job title.

When I was single I would tell girls I was studying astronautical engineering, hoping they would ask what that meant and I would say rocket science (I don't even know if that's correct terminology). I usually pulled it at parties sort of hoping to just find some girl stupid enough to believe me. It never worked and I never got laid.

[GOOD BLOKE]

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basically just lying about my job. saying im a graphic designer or something, i'm sure there are more.

blind fisherman you need to get yourself laid son , it is than you will realise it doesn't matter how you get da poontang.

[close]

Did it work? I'm a graphic designer and I've never impressed any women with my job title.

When I was single I would tell girls I was studying astronautical engineering, hoping they would ask what that meant and I would say rocket science (I don't even know if that's correct terminology). I usually pulled it at parties sort of hoping to just find some girl stupid enough to believe me. It never worked and I never got laid.

didn't really use it to impress them more to elude them away from my shitty job having, scumbag persona

[Yu Dum]

basically just lying about my job. saying im a graphic designer or something, i'm sure there are more.

blind fisherman you need to get yourself laid son , it is than you will realise it doesn't matter how you get da poontang.

I don't really care about getting laid all the time. I'm still young and will have more opportunities. I'd rather be myself and be with a chick that's genuinely stoked on me instead of some fa?ade that's been built up for one night of fun.

[shark tits]

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basically just lying about my job. saying im a graphic designer or something, i'm sure there are more.

blind fisherman you need to get yourself laid son , it is than you will realise it doesn't matter how you get da poontang.

[close]

I don't really care about getting laid all the time. I'm still young and will have more opportunities. I'd rather be myself and be with a chick that's genuinely stoked on me instead of some fa?ade that's been built up for one night of fun.

good for you, guy. stay golden ponyboy.

[Exposure]

For the majority of my college years I would pretend to be religious to get that good ole former ho pussy.

This is some real shit. I know so many "born again" girls that used to be super ho's and now they're "pure" and shit. The trick is to act like a gentleman and innocent so that when their ho instincts clash with their new found celibacy, the ho part justifies fucking you by convincing itself it's not like she's fucking a scumbag like a ho.

[Lenny the Fatface]

^ Exactly, most religious gatherings is slut central when you are a college kid. The biggest advantage that tweens who only go to church functions for pussy have over the other guys of the same age is that they aren't kooks or closet homosexuals. Reformed hoes are DESPERATE to find dudes like that in those environments.

[Mark Renton]

When I was single I would tell girls I was studying astronautical engineering, hoping they would ask what that meant and I would say rocket science (I don't even know if that's correct terminology). I usually pulled it at parties sort of hoping to just find some girl stupid enough to believe me. It never worked and I never got laid.

Telling girls you're doing engineering will make you look like a dork 90% of times. It just does not work.

I don't really care about getting laid all the time. I'm still young and will have more opportunities.

That's what I've been telling myself my whole life, worst approach ever, and not necessarily (read never) true.

[nice weather]

I think I've lied about pretty much everything at some point. Fell in with a group of necrophile holocaust deniers that way - they do decent bbqs.
Since I've grown to become one of the most boring people I know I resort to outrageous lies a lot now too when meeting new people. Just to see how far I can take it before I contradict myself. It's infantile but I feel like I've exhausted all other topics.

[lampshade]

I went to a super preppy college in the south east at a time before skateboarding was cool.  The girls were amazing, but mostly stereotypical southern sorority types.  I wouldn't lie about skating, but I definitely didn't advertise it.   

[Wizard Fight]

I bought some polo shirts at Target

HA YOU LAME

[captainfalcon69]

met this really cute hipster chick at a party last night who is in a "indie folk" duet band. almost want to pretend to like it just to try and get with her but the music is really shitty imo, too much effort not enough reward.

[shark tits]

met this really cute hipster chick at a party last night who is in a "indie folk" duet band. almost want to pretend to like it just to try and get with her but the music is really shitty imo, too much effort not enough reward.

was her name kimya?

[captainfalcon69]

Expand Quote

met this really cute hipster chick at a party last night who is in a "indie folk" duet band. almost want to pretend to like it just to try and get with her but the music is really shitty imo, too much effort not enough reward.

[close]

was her name kimya?

nah, close though. it's kayla

lol edited cause i fucked up the quotes, shit bugs me.

[Beer Keg Peg Leg]

adventure time

[perverted super otaku!]

"Whatever you want to hear, I can say
Forget the bitch the next day, instant replay"

"Cause when I was lackin, bitches made me want to roll over and die
So now I lie, cause bitches are like flies {why?}
They attract to the best shit {oh!}
You gotta play Max Julian's role unless you plan on being celibate
Cause bitches want the money clip and whatever dick that comes with it
{The bitch} saw me in the Lex and didn't know it came from Avis
Now she's on the Tip like my name was John Davis"

 shouts to FTC's penal code 100a

 

[.dilla]

one time I told a strangely clingy MSN girl that she smelled like my dad so she'd get away from me.

Haha, that's pretty good

[Bloody Matt]

That I was single.

[Wizard Fight]

met this really cute hipster chick at a party last night who is in a "indie folk" duet band. almost want to pretend to like it just to try and get with her but the music is really shitty imo, too much effort not enough reward.

Man it's a huge bummer when people you're into are in shitty bands.

[captainfalcon69]

Man it's a huge bummer when people you're into are in shitty bands.

forreal dude, she told me about one of her shows but its at a fucking coffee shop so im assuming its just gonna be one big hipster cluster fuck. If i see her around campus ill try and go for her, but seeing how im an engineer and shes an english major its pretty unlikely. just hyped for spring break next week!

[Jared]

I pretended to like Dr. Who and bbc stuff for this girl once. I still love her....

[Candygirl]

I went to a super preppy college in the south east at a time before skateboarding was cool.  The girls were amazing, but mostly stereotypical southern sorority types.  I wouldn't lie about skating, but I definitely didn't advertise it.   

Same here. My first real girlfriend was behaving more "mature", so talking about skateboarding(or simply the act, dressing etc.)
was off the table.
I didn't even skate that much during the 10 month, which I regret.
When we broke up, it made me appretiate skateboarding more than ever.

[perverted super otaku!]

I pretended to like Dr. Who and bbc stuff for this girl once. I still love her....

even Top Gear?? u sick man! lol

"I still love her...." you'd do it again

I pretended to be somewhat interested in that Long Island psychic show once, even though my inner dialogue could be depicted by this painting   didn't hit it that night but had before so I knew what I was missing, most likely still in love with her, would watch that Long Island psychic shit daily and pretend I love it if it would make things between us work #realtalk   #facadelife

[poopnutsupreme]

I don't even know where what I'm about to say should go but whatever it popped in my head and I figured this was the best spot for it. In high school I was making out and dry humping this chick (does anyone still do this after highschool?) and awhile into it she put her hand on my dick, I was wearing tight pants so my boner couldn't really go up. Right when she felt it, her eyes lit up and told me this is the biggest dick I've ever felt it's like pornstar big! I didn't know how to react cause I'm pretty sure she thought I didn't have a boner since it wasn't sticking up. She was all stoked and then my parents came home so we never went any further that night. I ended up hanging out with her more and she'd only give me bjs but I pretty much pretended I was hung like a horse until I finally got to pull it out in front of her. I can't imagine the letdown that happened in her head when she realized I wasn't. Or maybe she was just saying that so I'd be stoked to hang out with her more? I dunno, what would you guys have done?

[Exposure]

I don't even know where what I'm about to say should go but whatever it popped in my head and I figured this was the best spot for it. In high school I was making out and dry humping this chick (does anyone still do this after highschool?) and awhile into it she put her hand on my dick, I was wearing tight pants so my boner couldn't really go up. Right when she felt it, her eyes lit up and told me this is the biggest dick I've ever felt it's like pornstar big! I didn't know how to react cause I'm pretty sure she thought I didn't have a boner since it wasn't sticking up. She was all stoked and then my parents came home so we never went any further that night. I ended up hanging out with her more and she'd only give me bjs but I pretty much pretended I was hung like a horse until I finally got to pull it out in front of her. I can't imagine the letdown that happened in her head when she realized I wasn't. Or maybe she was just saying that so I'd be stoked to hang out with her more? I dunno, what would you guys have done?

How did she give you head without seeing your dick 

[poopnutsupreme]

Expand Quote

I don't even know where what I'm about to say should go but whatever it popped in my head and I figured this was the best spot for it. In high school I was making out and dry humping this chick (does anyone still do this after highschool?) and awhile into it she put her hand on my dick, I was wearing tight pants so my boner couldn't really go up. Right when she felt it, her eyes lit up and told me this is the biggest dick I've ever felt it's like pornstar big! I didn't know how to react cause I'm pretty sure she thought I didn't have a boner since it wasn't sticking up. She was all stoked and then my parents came home so we never went any further that night. I ended up hanging out with her more and she'd only give me bjs but I pretty much pretended I was hung like a horse until I finally got to pull it out in front of her. I can't imagine the letdown that happened in her head when she realized I wasn't. Or maybe she was just saying that so I'd be stoked to hang out with her more? I dunno, what would you guys have done?

[close]

How did she give you head without seeing your dick 

I probably should of put the part where said I finally pulled it out in front of her before I said I got head from her. It was kinda unclear, my bad.

[EXTRA SPICY]

When i first met Bentmode as a kid on the school bus i told him i skated vert because he skated. I didn't even skate yet, and ended up skating just to keep up with the lie. Good looking out bruh.
Two years later i told him chris haslam was my cousin in relation to skating deca boards.

In high school i forced myself to listen to kings of leon and researched fair trade to bang this chick on the water polo team. totally worked!