The first time I had a rectal exam, I was lying atop the examination table in the fetal position awaiting the cold, slimy finger of medical science. The doctor asked if I was ready, and I said yes. But then I remembered I’d never had anything in my butt before, and it would be prudent to take a moment to prepare myself mentally for what was sure to be a novel experience.
What I meant to say was “oh no, wait a second, I’m not ready.” But it was too late. He had already entered through the gift shop. And what came out of my mouth was something more like “oh nooooooooooooo,” followed by stifled laughter and apologies.
After the examination was over and the doctor told me my colon is a hypochondriac, he noticed that I looked upset and asked if I was ok.
“I can’t believe I yelled ‘oh no,’” I said, shaking my head with embarrassment.
The doctor replied “I could have sworn you yelled ‘oh yeah!’”
Oh, how we laughed.
Would get fingered by funny doctor again.
I like stories.