Having kids

[ChuckRamone]

For Pals with kids: How do you balance having children and skating? Do you get out as much as you'd like? I'm wondering if you can have a kid and still get out a decent amount.

[iKobrakai]

Wanted to start a similar topic.

I'm 33 and kind of not feeling the whole having kids thing.  To be honest, I don't feel like trading my funds, time and convenience. Will probably be a shitty parent, too. Raised in Russia in the 90's, don't think my "parenting style" would fit in Gay Sweden.

[ChuckRamone]

Wanted to start a similar topic.

I'm 33 and kind of not feeling the whole having kids thing.  To be honest, I don't feel like trading my funds, time and convenience. Will probably be a shitty parent, too. Raised in Russia in the 90's, don't think my "parenting style" would fit in Gay Sweden.

Most of my life I didn't really want kids and even complained about how annoying parents and their kids were. But something has happened to me in my 40s where my balls are telling me to reproduce or something else is happening that's making me want a kid, but there's still some nagging doubt about how expensive, time-consuming and tiring it would be. And this makes me wonder what it's like for people who skate and have children.

[iKobrakai]

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Wanted to start a similar topic.

I'm 33 and kind of not feeling the whole having kids thing.  To be honest, I don't feel like trading my funds, time and convenience. Will probably be a shitty parent, too. Raised in Russia in the 90's, don't think my "parenting style" would fit in Gay Sweden.

[close]

Most of my life I didn't really want kids and even complained about how annoying parents and their kids were. But something has happened to me in my 40s where my balls are telling me to reproduce or something else is happening that's making me want a kid, but there's still some nagging doubt about how expensive, time-consuming and tiring it would be. And this makes me wonder what it's like for people who skate and have children.

Oh, I see.
 
As I type this, one of the dudes at work talking about his moth old girl. The conversation is so foreign and strange to me. Like, "Damn, that sucks, bro..."

[Level 60 Dwarf Rogue]

Having kids won’t keep you from skating. Having a partner that’s not in to letting you be independent will. I mean it’s not like I can skip dinner and go drink tall cans with the boys after skating, but you can get out there if you really want to.

[DirtyCheddarKids]

I love that the topic "Having kids" is in whatever, cause to me having kids is whatever.

[pugmaster]

I love that the topic "Having kids" is in whatever, cause to me having kids is whatever.

It's kids a priori, otherwise it would be under "Help!!!"

[Sila]

It's a tough one. Some people say it's the best feeling in the world and they wouldn't trade it for anything. Personally I can't do it. For one i'm not financially secure enough. And two i'm also worried that a possible child will inherit my own shitty issues and don't think I could live with that.

[iKobrakai]

It's a tough one. Some people say it's the best feeling in the world and they wouldn't trade it for anything. Personally I can't do it. For one i'm not financially secure enough. And two i'm also worried that a possible child will inherit my own shitty issues and don't think I could live with that.

Yepp, wouldn't wish my fucktard issues upon anyone, either.

[AitchBeeGayBuh]

It depends on many factors... what your job hours are, your old lady’s hours, is there someone else like a family member to help out? Do u have a car?

I don’t get out as much as I want I but I also have more hobbies n interests than I did 10 years ago so those can eat up some time. Don't have a car which is a huge inconvenience but I work all night. On nights off I usually ride my road bike around to empty parking lots, hills, or spots I would normally get booted from real quick.

The other night at 3am I skated this Irvine motel plaza that’s basically a skatepark for a while n after that skated a diy quarterpipe next to the water.

Next night off I learned frontside half cab noseslides on a ledge in a parking lot at 37.

U gotta wanna skate.

[Tenterhooks]

It pretty much depends on balancing things with your partner because, even though it sounds obvious, one of the first things you learn is that you can't each be doing something at the same time when you have a kid. I try to give my wife as much free time as I can so that going for a skate a couple of times a week feels fair.

Finding time that it's not any inconvenience for the other person goes a long way too, so in the evening when the kid is asleep and my wife just wants to watch a movie or something anyway works out great. Early mornings too. If you can be bothered getting out and back before either of them wake up, you can skate every day. There's a reason you see old dudes at the skatepark at 6am - it's the beginners and dads session.

[Maccat]

It pretty much depends on balancing things with your partner because, even though it sounds obvious, one of the first things you learn is that you can't each be doing something at the same time when you have a kid. I try to give my wife as much free time as I can so that going for a skate a couple of times a week feels fair.

Finding time that it's not any inconvenience for the other person goes a long way too, so in the evening when the kid is asleep and my wife just wants to watch a movie or something anyway works out great. Early mornings too. If you can be bothered getting out and back before either of them wake up, you can skate every day. There's a reason you see old dudes at the skatepark at 6am - it's the beginners and dads session.

This. Early morning sessions go off. Typically sleeping at this time, don’t feel bad at all catching a coffee and a curb. And for anyone out there who thinks kids are expensive, barring anything medical, they’re really not unless you can’t control your own spending. 90% of what you’ll buy or others will is so extra. Untouched and straight to goodwill.

Wouldn’t recommend if you don’t have a partner who is down for life. Double-teaming a toddler doesn’t sound fair but your also dealing with toddler logic. They’re sweet and rewarding but god damn it can be frustrating.

[Hyliannightmare]

For Pals with kids: How do you balance having children and skating? Do you get out as much as you'd like? I'm wondering if you can have a kid and still get out a decent amount.

You don't. Just don't have kids it sucks

[Gray Imp Sausage Metal]

I take my my kids skating with me!

[OldieButFrenchie]

let's be real, the first 2 years, you probably won't skate much. Depending on how much the baby lets you sleep.

Once they are over say, 6, you have so much more time, cause they start being independent.

I'd be a mess without my sons I think. I always wanted kids cause I wanted to experience that biological connection (I was adopted). and yes, it's so much work and responsability. But the rewards are just as huge.

[GardenSkater77]

When my wife was pregnant with our first in 2008-09 I was out skating in January in NJ. I remember sitting against a wall in a tunnel I built a box for thinking that this is the last time I will be free to skate w/o concern when I return home.

I have 2 kids and my 11 year old daughter does not like when I go skating. She worries. Now I have two women worried I will be hurt and this is the downer of having children and skating. I feel guilty coming home with scraps so I don’t skate as agro as I would like cause I don’t want my wife and daughter worrying about me.

My wife has seen me in the hospital twice from skateboarding (broken leg and ruptured spleen) and she thinks I’m too old to keep skating. Now my daughter is like wifey 2.

So, the answer depends on the wife that you have and whether you have a daughter who will worry about you or a son, like mine, who doesn’t think about you the moment you leave the house.

[theSketchLord]

42 years old, not having kids, never having kids.
My fiance is a childcare worker so that's enough for her.

If I want a reminder how much I don't want them I'll go and stand in the toy section of Big W on a Saturday.

[layzieyez]

My wife was a pre-K teacher so it's like she was a professional mom. If you value skateboarding, you'll find a way to keep doing it when the kids show up.

I just want to encourage all the smart and empathetic people to have kids so idiocracy doesn't become an even bigger reality than it already has become. The morons of society seem to breed incessantly and get by while the thoughtful people overthink it and then we're outnumbered and wondering how that happened.

[Deputy Wendell]

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I love that the topic "Having kids" is in whatever, cause to me having kids is whatever.

[close]

It's kids a priori, otherwise it would be under "Help!!!"

it's statements like this that continue to replenish my faith in Slap

i see you Pug

[The Drew]

I take my my kids skating with me!

me too.. I drag them to park with me every weekend... even if they don't want to go...
(i don't get to skate during the week because of ... life... so i just weekend warrior it for an hour or so... )

[Gray Imp Sausage Metal]

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I take my my kids skating with me!

[close]

me too.. I drag them to park with me every weekend... even if they don't want to go...
(i don't get to skate during the week because of ... life... so i just weekend warrior it for an hour or so... )

yep, we are the same! My wife doesn't mind because it gives her some time alone at home. If she wants to get out of the house too I bring her and she can read a book in the car or go for a run or whatever. Sometimes she'll get the urge and do tick tack races with my eldest too. If the kids aren't feeling the skatepark, just a regular park with some marble curbs is my other go to; kids can run around on the grass, hang on the swings or whatever and dad can play on curbs and get glanced at by old angry Japanese men.

I wish I could roll during the week too but such is life! I get long-ish summer and winter breaks so I try to roll as much as possible during those times...

[The Drew]

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I take my my kids skating with me!

[close]

me too.. I drag them to park with me every weekend... even if they don't want to go...
(i don't get to skate during the week because of ... life... so i just weekend warrior it for an hour or so... )

[close]

yep, we are the same! My wife doesn't mind because it gives her some time alone at home. If she wants to get out of the house too I bring her and she can read a book in the car or go for a run or whatever. Sometimes she'll get the urge and do tick tack races with my eldest too. If the kids aren't feeling the skatepark, just a regular park with some marble curbs is my other go to; kids can run around on the grass, hang on the swings or whatever and dad can play on curbs and get glanced at by old angry Japanese men.

I wish I could roll during the week too but such is life! I get long-ish summer and winter breaks so I try to roll as much as possible during those times...

My wife works most weekends so its just me and the kids... this summer has been pretty brutal so it has been an inside watching doraemon and anpanman kind of summer... (I don't want to be inside... but my youngest is 2 & a 1/2 so she is too little go out and play for too long in 35+deg weather)

bring on autumn (plus new car... so i can take my eldest to ride motorbikes in the morning again)

[WobbleHeadBob]

having kids is rad but i get its not for everyone. the first couple years i didnt skate much.. maybe once a week- but i think hat was down to other obligations, i had bands and stuff going on too.

Im skating more than i have in years!

my dude is 5, hes in school and at least once a week he asks me to take him to the local park wheni pick him up - he rips around on his bike and i get a little skate.
 my wife is super chill to so if i fancy a roll with the bros she is happy fto give some alone time. and vice versa -- that is the key. you cant be selfish. if you wanna go skate for 4 hours on saturday, you gotta let your lady get some alone time too so she can do what she wants.

it is as difficukt/easy as you make it for yourself.

[ChuckRamone]

Thanks for the replies. Really helpful for thinking this through. My wife is pretty chill and we're both at that age now where we don't care about going out to party and shit like that so I think we'll be able to figure out ways of trading off child watching and free time, and our parents might be able to lend a hand from time to time. And other than skating I'm pretty much a homebody anyway. As for the expense, I plan on being pretty frugal about it. I'm not gonna buy all that hyped up baby and kid stuff that people waste their money on. I really value a simple life where spending time together and not being part of the rat race is important. My parents were always working, so we didn't spend as much time together as we could have. I'd rather work less and be with my kid more, if I do end up having one.

It would be ideal if my hypothetical kid got into skating and we could skate together. But whatever they get into I will support them and not pressure them. I just really hope it's not scootering. As for layzieyez's idiocracy comment: That's one reason I want to have kids. I'm sure the people I don't like in this world think I'm an asshole and an idiot too but I don't want to leave the world to just their spawn. It feels like a form of giving up, which I don't want to do. A lot of childless people would probably actually make pretty good parents because they are usually the thoughtful and chill type.

[j....soy.....]

I don't have kids because my wife never made me....I mean if she made me I don't think I'd be bummed but it's pretty easy to just carry on my life without them.....it's not like I stay up all night....'oh shit...I don't have kids...'

There are people who plan and really wrestle with this stuff...not me....

[OldieButFrenchie]

Thanks for the replies. Really helpful for thinking this through. My wife is pretty chill and we're both at that age now where we don't care about going out to party and shit like that so I think we'll be able to figure out ways of trading off child watching and free time, and our parents might be able to lend a hand from time to time. And other than skating I'm pretty much a homebody anyway. As for the expense, I plan on being pretty frugal about it. I'm not gonna buy all that hyped up baby and kid stuff that people waste their money on. I really value a simple life where spending time together and not being part of the rat race is important. My parents were always working, so we didn't spend as much time together as we could have. I'd rather work less and be with my kid more, if I do end up having one.

It would be ideal if my hypothetical kid got into skating and we could skate together. But whatever they get into I will support them and not pressure them. I just really hope it's not scootering. As for layzieyez's idiocracy comment: That's one reason I want to have kids. I'm sure the people I don't like in this world think I'm an asshole and an idiot too but I don't want to leave the world to just their spawn. It feels like a form of giving up, which I don't want to do. A lot of childless people would probably actually make pretty good parents because they are usually the thoughtful and chill type.

that's a good mindset. I remember watching a guy my age at the park who came with his kid and totally ignored him. He skated real good and was obviously focused on practicing his tricks and shit....while his 6 year-old or something skulked in the corner. And I just thought what an asshole....totally lost respect for him. Kinda well-known guy in the Paris scene.

Both my kids are taking an interest in skating lately, but it took a long time! I bought a complete for the eldest when he was 6 and he started getting interested at 12.....

[Willie]

Thanks for the replies. Really helpful for thinking this through. My wife is pretty chill and we're both at that age now where we don't care about going out to party and shit like that so I think we'll be able to figure out ways of trading off child watching and free time, and our parents might be able to lend a hand from time to time. And other than skating I'm pretty much a homebody anyway. As for the expense, I plan on being pretty frugal about it. I'm not gonna buy all that hyped up baby and kid stuff that people waste their money on. I really value a simple life where spending time together and not being part of the rat race is important. My parents were always working, so we didn't spend as much time together as we could have. I'd rather work less and be with my kid more, if I do end up having one.

It would be ideal if my hypothetical kid got into skating and we could skate together. But whatever they get into I will support them and not pressure them. I just really hope it's not scootering. As for layzieyez's idiocracy comment: That's one reason I want to have kids. I'm sure the people I don't like in this world think I'm an asshole and an idiot too but I don't want to leave the world to just their spawn. It feels like a form of giving up, which I don't want to do. A lot of childless people would probably actually make pretty good parents because they are usually the thoughtful and chill type.

A few of my friends have justified not having kids very sensible reasons like global overpopulation, worries that there have been health issues elsewhere in the family tree, not being in the ideal financial situation yet, etc. and it bums me out because the fact they would be empathetic parents and would likely produce empathetic children seems like a loss to the world. Of course no one needs to "justify" not having kids but I'm sad that the people I love will one day cease to be and not leave a living legacy.

As far as being financially secure, I would never have had kids if I had not had an "oops!" and waited until I was in the "right" job.



As to your original question: No, you will not have as much time to skate or dick around for a while but there are really meaningful moments that will supplant that. I was a full time, stay at home dad with two kids and it wasn't a cakewalk but I still found time to do stuff I enjoyed (having a grandparent nearby who could watch the kids for a few hours once a week was huge). Anyway, it's been worth it in the long run, for me at least.

Good luck!

[whale]

Thanks for the replies. Really helpful for thinking this through. My wife is pretty chill and we're both at that age now where we don't care about going out to party and shit like that so I think we'll be able to figure out ways of trading off child watching and free time, and our parents might be able to lend a hand from time to time. And other than skating I'm pretty much a homebody anyway. As for the expense, I plan on being pretty frugal about it. I'm not gonna buy all that hyped up baby and kid stuff that people waste their money on. I really value a simple life where spending time together and not being part of the rat race is important. My parents were always working, so we didn't spend as much time together as we could have. I'd rather work less and be with my kid more, if I do end up having one.

It would be ideal if my hypothetical kid got into skating and we could skate together. But whatever they get into I will support them and not pressure them. I just really hope it's not scootering. As for layzieyez's idiocracy comment: That's one reason I want to have kids. I'm sure the people I don't like in this world think I'm an asshole and an idiot too but I don't want to leave the world to just their spawn. It feels like a form of giving up, which I don't want to do. A lot of childless people would probably actually make pretty good parents because they are usually the thoughtful and chill type.

Simply just by reading this post I think you’d be a great father, and that you’d really enjoy having a kid.
I’m not going to lie, it’s hard and frustrating at times but it’s well worth it for the priviledge to watch a human grow.

[Frank and Fred]

Skateboarding always comes before your child. It is pretty simple. When the plane runs out of oxygen, you put the mask on yourself first, then you help others.

[Seventyfrigginseven]

Having kids temporarily gets in the way of skating during their younger years, but if your partner respects your love for skating then its game on, I imagine. I have a small army of children and I think that working too much or working hard labor gets in the way of skating more than children ever will. Also making the decision to have kids right now with the current state of affairs is something to really think about before slipping one past the goalie. I stress every single day about what my children will have to encounter in their future. Sorry for the essay man, and good luck with either road you take!