Surfing is to Skateboarding as Judaism is to Christianity

[skunty]

The story of surfing and the story of skateboarding, seen as the mythic origin stories of Judaism and Christianity.


God creates mankind and boards and makes a testament with mankind saying, "All of you ride the boards and be gnarly, and don't be a kook, and I the Lord will keep you all ripping". The first surfer is Abraham in mythic terms, and the native Hawaiians would be analogous to early Jews. Like Jews are the chosen people, Hawaiians are the chosen few to live in the sickest surf spot, and they all did surf, and God kept them ripping. In real life time line, when Captain Cook and colonizers come and nearly wipe out surfing in the 1800s, this is analogous to the period when the Hebrews are slaves in Egypt in religious mythology. George Freeth in real life is like Moses in the myth, bringing surfing back to the promised land, no longer marginalized where it can thrive. King David conquers Jerusalem and the Jews rule the holy land, in the surfing story this would be the time of Duke Kahanamoku being an absolute beast on a surfboard and surfing's earliest spread in the California. According to the Christian myth, mankind did not keep his testament with the god so eventually there had to be a new testament. Mankind's failure to keep his oath would be equivalent to the creation of judging subjective style in surf competitions - a total Kook move. In Christian myth, God sent his son known as Jesus. Skateboarding came to redeem surfing's broken promise, but like how Christianity is for anyone who accepts Jesus, not just a chosen people, skateboarding is for anyone because concrete is everywhere, not just the chosen few who live by a beach. Jesus was born into a humble Jewish family, the way that skateboarding was born into the surfers world. Jesus revealed himself to be the son of God, the king of the Jews, and started amassing a following of Jews, just like how skateboarding' s earliest devotees were surfers. One of Jesus's followers betrayed him and Jesus was killed. This is equivalent to the skateboarding industry basically collapsing in the 70s. But Jesus rises from the dead and so does skateboarding. And just like Christianity only offers personal salvation for your personal devotion, skateboarding is the same.

[SneakySecrets]

How high are you?

[skunty]

super fucking high

[SneakySecrets]

My man 

[roomservice]

Im super hungry

[the big apple]

would catholicism be street skating?

[Lifer]

This is odd and really doesn’t seem worth trying to make this make sense

[j....soy.....]

Shalom?

[skunty]

would catholicism be street skating?

The analogy for the main sects is as follows

orthodox, catholicism, protestantism

pools, vert+freestyle (80s progressions), street skating

[Dwyck]

Not reading but yes your absolutely right




Or sorry that happened

[versacekid420]

i feel like this is a great thread to say i’m feeling dope as f*ck off this pinot grigio.



also i didn’t read any of that, it was too much but props for typing it

[Madam, I'm Adam]

And skiing is to snowboarding as Episcopalianism is to Baha’ism .

I’m enjoying this Dos Equis right now.

[RossDailey]

Don't correlate skateboarding to the abrahamic death cults

[cucktard]

So is Braille what, a mega church?

I kinda see corporations in that role, with people like Nyjah as a Falwell.

And Duane, is he like the head of the Westboro Church?

Who’s the Pope?


 Grosso?

[skunty]

So is Braille what, a mega church?

I kinda see corporations in that role, with people like Nyjah as a Falwell.

And Duane, is he like the head of the Westboro Church?

Who’s the Pope?

 Grosso?

https://images.app.goo.gl/NT3bXezuA1q8ABbo8

first 2 are on point... im not getting the Peters to Westboro connection.... he's OG enough in the skateboarding timeline he'd be more like a character in the new testament of the bible.

Gonz is Martin Luther

[Mr. Stinky]

This thread is right up my alley, we need more increasingly tendentious analogies around here.

[S.]

The story of surfing and the story of skateboarding, seen as the mythic origin stories of Judaism and Christianity.


God creates mankind and boards and makes a testament with mankind saying, "All of you ride the boards and be gnarly, and don't be a kook, and I the Lord will keep you all ripping". The first surfer is Abraham in mythic terms, and the native Hawaiians would be analogous to early Jews. Like Jews are the chosen people, Hawaiians are the chosen few to live in the sickest surf spot, and they all did surf, and God kept them ripping. In real life time line, when Captain Cook and colonizers come and nearly wipe out surfing in the 1800s, this is analogous to the period when the Hebrews are slaves in Egypt in religious mythology. George Freeth in real life is like Moses in the myth, bringing surfing back to the promised land, no longer marginalized where it can thrive. King David conquers Jerusalem and the Jews rule the holy land, in the surfing story this would be the time of Duke Kahanamoku being an absolute beast on a surfboard and surfing's earliest spread in the California. According to the Christian myth, mankind did not keep his testament with the god so eventually there had to be a new testament. Mankind's failure to keep his oath would be equivalent to the creation of judging subjective style in surf competitions - a total Kook move. In Christian myth, God sent his son known as Jesus. Skateboarding came to redeem surfing's broken promise, but like how Christianity is for anyone who accepts Jesus, not just a chosen people, skateboarding is for anyone because concrete is everywhere, not just the chosen few who live by a beach. Jesus was born into a humble Jewish family, the way that skateboarding was born into the surfers world. Jesus revealed himself to be the son of God, the king of the Jews, and started amassing a following of Jews, just like how skateboarding' s earliest devotees were surfers. One of Jesus's followers betrayed him and Jesus was killed. This is equivalent to the skateboarding industry basically collapsing in the 70s. But Jesus rises from the dead and so does skateboarding. And just like Christianity only offers personal salvation for your personal devotion, skateboarding is the same.

Which dirty rotten surfer killed our savior? Who is surf Judas? And uh who is our saviour? The gonz or Jay Adams (he was born a Jew I.e. surfer and later converted, he was also a known racist. Is that a problem?)
Is rollerblading Islam (slightly newer) and scootering Scientology?

[nevrwasben]

Expand Quote

The story of surfing and the story of skateboarding, seen as the mythic origin stories of Judaism and Christianity.


God creates mankind and boards and makes a testament with mankind saying, "All of you ride the boards and be gnarly, and don't be a kook, and I the Lord will keep you all ripping". The first surfer is Abraham in mythic terms, and the native Hawaiians would be analogous to early Jews. Like Jews are the chosen people, Hawaiians are the chosen few to live in the sickest surf spot, and they all did surf, and God kept them ripping. In real life time line, when Captain Cook and colonizers come and nearly wipe out surfing in the 1800s, this is analogous to the period when the Hebrews are slaves in Egypt in religious mythology. George Freeth in real life is like Moses in the myth, bringing surfing back to the promised land, no longer marginalized where it can thrive. King David conquers Jerusalem and the Jews rule the holy land, in the surfing story this would be the time of Duke Kahanamoku being an absolute beast on a surfboard and surfing's earliest spread in the California. According to the Christian myth, mankind did not keep his testament with the god so eventually there had to be a new testament. Mankind's failure to keep his oath would be equivalent to the creation of judging subjective style in surf competitions - a total Kook move. In Christian myth, God sent his son known as Jesus. Skateboarding came to redeem surfing's broken promise, but like how Christianity is for anyone who accepts Jesus, not just a chosen people, skateboarding is for anyone because concrete is everywhere, not just the chosen few who live by a beach. Jesus was born into a humble Jewish family, the way that skateboarding was born into the surfers world. Jesus revealed himself to be the son of God, the king of the Jews, and started amassing a following of Jews, just like how skateboarding' s earliest devotees were surfers. One of Jesus's followers betrayed him and Jesus was killed. This is equivalent to the skateboarding industry basically collapsing in the 70s. But Jesus rises from the dead and so does skateboarding. And just like Christianity only offers personal salvation for your personal devotion, skateboarding is the same.

[close]

Which dirty rotten surfer killed our savior? Who is surf Judas? And uh who is our saviour? The gonz or Jay Adams (he was born a Jew I.e. surfer and later converted, he was also a known racist. Is that a problem?)
Is rollerblading Islam (slightly newer) and scootering Scientology?

Furthermore, how Christian Hosoi & Tony Hawk fit in here???

[TheLurper]

Skateboarding is to surfing as :

A) The GRE is to the SAT.
B) The MCAT is to the ACT.
C) The LSAT is to the SAT.
D) The GMAT is to the SAT.
E) All of the above.
F) Only A, B, and D.

[Hedgehog In Da Fog]

Rollerblading is Scientology.

[Wheelbyte]

The Waikiki beach boys were the disciples
and Duke Kahanamoku was Jesus
and this doco is made by Jews

[frontfootimpossible]

[Youoverthere]

Expand Quote

So is Braille what, a mega church?

I kinda see corporations in that role, with people like Nyjah as a Falwell.

And Duane, is he like the head of the Westboro Church?

Who’s the Pope?

 Grosso?

https://images.app.goo.gl/NT3bXezuA1q8ABbo8

[close]

first 2 are on point... im not getting the Peters to Westboro connection.... he's OG enough in the skateboarding timeline he'd be more like a character in the new testament of the bible.

Gonz is Martin Luther

it’s funny that that went over your head.

[Jewel Runner]

The story of surfing and the story of skateboarding, seen as the mythic origin stories of Judaism and Christianity.


God creates mankind and boards and makes a testament with mankind saying, "All of you ride the boards and be gnarly, and don't be a kook, and I the Lord will keep you all ripping". The first surfer is Abraham in mythic terms, and the native Hawaiians would be analogous to early Jews. Like Jews are the chosen people, Hawaiians are the chosen few to live in the sickest surf spot, and they all did surf, and God kept them ripping. In real life time line, when Captain Cook and colonizers come and nearly wipe out surfing in the 1800s, this is analogous to the period when the Hebrews are slaves in Egypt in religious mythology. George Freeth in real life is like Moses in the myth, bringing surfing back to the promised land, no longer marginalized where it can thrive. King David conquers Jerusalem and the Jews rule the holy land, in the surfing story this would be the time of Duke Kahanamoku being an absolute beast on a surfboard and surfing's earliest spread in the California. According to the Christian myth, mankind did not keep his testament with the god so eventually there had to be a new testament. Mankind's failure to keep his oath would be equivalent to the creation of judging subjective style in surf competitions - a total Kook move. In Christian myth, God sent his son known as Jesus. Skateboarding came to redeem surfing's broken promise, but like how Christianity is for anyone who accepts Jesus, not just a chosen people, skateboarding is for anyone because concrete is everywhere, not just the chosen few who live by a beach. Jesus was born into a humble Jewish family, the way that skateboarding was born into the surfers world. Jesus revealed himself to be the son of God, the king of the Jews, and started amassing a following of Jews, just like how skateboarding' s earliest devotees were surfers. One of Jesus's followers betrayed him and Jesus was killed. This is equivalent to the skateboarding industry basically collapsing in the 70s. But Jesus rises from the dead and so does skateboarding. And just like Christianity only offers personal salvation for your personal devotion, skateboarding is the same.

I didn't quite understand it but I liked it

[Youoverthere]

So who’s pontius pilatus in this?

[ok boomer]

What's snowboarding

[CorneliusCardew]

Snowboarding would be Islam?

[SneakySecrets]

Snowboarding would be Islam?

Guaranteed first time that sentence has appeared in the course of human history.

[Pipe Dreamer]

What's snowboarding

Jehovah's witnesses

[Wheelbyte]

flowboarding would be Buddhism