So John doesn’t like Bill anymore because he thinks he’s got the oogly googly eyes for his girl, but meanwhile Bill’s like “what I don’t even like yo bitch” and then I’m like dude it’s 2022 you can’t refer to women with those crass words anymore but now she overhears this and dontcha know I think she’s got a little something for me. Now I wouldn’t tell that to either of those two knuckleheads but I did tell it to Kevin who I think stole like 3 cigarettes from Gary but that’s a whole ‘nother story but anyways I’m like “Hey Kevin I think Louise has a thing for me because I showed my chivalric side to her” and this dumb motherfucker is like “what the fuck does chivalric mean?” and I’m like dude read a fucking book for once in your fucking life. He thought I was talking about my scrotum or some shit and I’m like no dude it’s got nothing to do with scrotums; it’s about like some idealized code of conduct from the middle ages I’m pretty sure. So then he’s like “oh I thought you showed her your nutsack, my bad”. So this dumbass goes and tells Gary’s sister who knows Bill’s mom because they work at the same tire shop as John’s baby mama and if “loose lips sink ships”, she’d be the German U boats in WWI just wrecking shit because she’s the biggest gossip in town so now I’m here thinking “gee I wish I never said that” because you KNOW it’s going to get back to John and now he’s probably not going to want to skate because he thinks there’s some sort of mass conspiracy just like when he thought he was getting abducted by aliens even though that was when he was drinking like 2 bottles of cough medicine trying to get a cheap trip which, I’m not a doctor, but I think is probably doing some sort of damage to your internal organs, I mean the guy called 911 on that cough syrup one time talking about the manta rays coming to get him.