Dear @bolts_the_snowman on IG,
It is with great discernment and the alignment of celestial bodies that we, the Keepers of Element Completes, extend to you an invitation to the Skateboard-City forum. This privilege is bestowed upon only those whose resonance disrupts the fabric of mundane SLAP posts, instead vibrating in harmony with our over-tightened Tensor trucks.
To be ordained, you must pass the Trials of Destiny, discerned through a sacred rite known to us as Minimal Effort Posting. This ancient ritual, veiled in the shadows of forgotten lore, and facile faffing about, allows us to gauge the depth of your brainlessness, the purity of your blockheadedness, and the resonance of your soul's vibration with our core principles.
We're en route to your current location.
Yours in eternal vigilance,
Skateboard-City Moderator, Tom
P.S. Before you ask I'm 12