Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On

[JB]

So my girl came over tonight and we watched one of her movies, insidious 2 and it fucking freaked me out. She rarely distracted me which i was pissed about, she didnt start to fool around till like an hour later but i was super anxious. Then we went to my bed to make me less stressed and im naked on the bed and she comes on top of me, im inside her and my fucking cat jumps on the bed. Now i love my cat hes my homie but i couldn't preform and he was like rubbing my head and shit. So i kind of pushed him off the bed i mean i couldn't really get up and pick him up and drop him down but then my boner went away but she got back in to it and i came. Total times we fucked was 6 and she made me cum 4 of those times even when im on my meds. I think shes a keeper. But now im freaked out cause of the movie but i just took my meds to help me sleep so hopefully ill be good in a little

thats funny. i remember times when my girl had a dog and we would be having sex and he would just be sitting next to the bed watching and panting. it was kind of funny, but i always had to kick his ass out of the room, then listen to him claw at the door until we were finished. animals are fucking pervs sometimes.

[shark tits]

Expand Quote

So my girl came over tonight and we watched one of her movies, insidious 2 and it fucking freaked me out. She rarely distracted me which i was pissed about, she didnt start to fool around till like an hour later but i was super anxious. Then we went to my bed to make me less stressed and im naked on the bed and she comes on top of me, im inside her and my fucking cat jumps on the bed. Now i love my cat hes my homie but i couldn't preform and he was like rubbing my head and shit. So i kind of pushed him off the bed i mean i couldn't really get up and pick him up and drop him down but then my boner went away but she got back in to it and i came. Total times we fucked was 6 and she made me cum 4 of those times even when im on my meds. I think shes a keeper. But now im freaked out cause of the movie but i just took my meds to help me sleep so hopefully ill be good in a little

[close]

thats funny. i remember times when my girl had a dog and we would be having sex and he would just be sitting next to the bed watching and panting. it was kind of funny, but i always had to kick his ass out of the room, then listen to him claw at the door until we were finished. animals are fucking pervs sometimes.

my buddy's dog jedi [RIP] came in and licked my ass mid coitus. i called it a 3some.

[EXTRA SPICY]

Expand Quote

So my girl came over tonight and we watched one of her movies, insidious 2 and it fucking freaked me out. She rarely distracted me which i was pissed about, she didnt start to fool around till like an hour later but i was super anxious. Then we went to my bed to make me less stressed and im naked on the bed and she comes on top of me, im inside her and my fucking cat jumps on the bed. Now i love my cat hes my homie but i couldn't preform and he was like rubbing my head and shit. So i kind of pushed him off the bed i mean i couldn't really get up and pick him up and drop him down but then my boner went away but she got back in to it and i came. Total times we fucked was 6 and she made me cum 4 of those times even when im on my meds. I think shes a keeper. But now im freaked out cause of the movie but i just took my meds to help me sleep so hopefully ill be good in a little

[close]

thats funny. i remember times when my girl had a dog and we would be having sex and he would just be sitting next to the bed watching and panting. it was kind of funny, but i always had to kick his ass out of the room, then listen to him claw at the door until we were finished. animals are fucking pervs sometimes.

 If you have the availability to do it, try being primally loud during consensual engagements. As soon as I passed have flaccidity I just start letting out chimpanzee howls; accordingly, my cats run in fear, and will not return until I'm exhausted.

[Hash Slinging Slasher]

Not stoked on starting school again. Stoked on no Wednesday or Friday classes and it being senior year.

[foureyedjim]

Started dissection on a human cadaver for the first time today.  It was pretty cool.
Wish there was less fat to clean up, but grateful for their contribution to science 

[Rusty_Berrings]

Started dissection on a human cadaver for the first time today.  It was pretty cool.
Wish there was less fat to clean up, but grateful for their contribution to science 

oh wow. studying to be a mortician?

[ice nine]

Expand Quote

Started dissection on a human cadaver for the first time today.  It was pretty cool.
Wish there was less fat to clean up, but grateful for their contribution to science 

[close]

oh wow. studying to be a mortician?

idk if ur joking but jim is actually a pretty  famous murderer

[Rusty_Berrings]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Started dissection on a human cadaver for the first time today.  It was pretty cool.
Wish there was less fat to clean up, but grateful for their contribution to science 

[close]

oh wow. studying to be a mortician?

[close]

idk if ur joking but jim is actually a pretty  famous murderer

Ah, gotcha, take it he's studying forensics in the race to convict himself.

[Rusty_Berrings]

I can't wait to be 50+ with silver hair still street skating and drinking red wine in New England but I'm only 28.

[foureyedjim]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Started dissection on a human cadaver for the first time today.  It was pretty cool.
Wish there was less fat to clean up, but grateful for their contribution to science 

[close]

oh wow. studying to be a mortician?

[close]

idk if ur joking but jim is actually a pretty  famous murderer

[close]

Ah, gotcha, take it he's studying forensics in the race to convict himself.

Physical Therapy program 

[straight]

I can't wait to be 50+ with silver hair still street skating and drinking red wine in New England but I'm only 28.

Dude you look late 30s you're almost there

[Baron Samedi]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Started dissection on a human cadaver for the first time today.  It was pretty cool.
Wish there was less fat to clean up, but grateful for their contribution to science 

[close]

oh wow. studying to be a mortician?

[close]

idk if ur joking but jim is actually a pretty  famous murderer

[close]

Ah, gotcha, take it he's studying forensics in the race to convict himself.

[close]

Physical Therapy program 

That's pretty gnarly you gotta hang out with dead bodies to become a phys therapist.

[foureyedjim]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Started dissection on a human cadaver for the first time today.  It was pretty cool.
Wish there was less fat to clean up, but grateful for their contribution to science 

[close]

oh wow. studying to be a mortician?

[close]

idk if ur joking but jim is actually a pretty  famous murderer

[close]

Ah, gotcha, take it he's studying forensics in the race to convict himself.

[close]

Physical Therapy program 

[close]

That's pretty gnarly you gotta hang out with dead bodies to become a phys therapist.

Yeap, just remembering what muscles look like in books is not enough to cover the amount of variability you'll see in patients.

It's honestly not too bad.  Bodies have already gone through "fixing" from a 3rd party (funeral home, then cadaver distributors) so they're not very "life-like" once you get em.

[Spitfire4life]

Expand Quote

Four Wheels was at my local park hockey rink today, but I only know this because of someone I know posting an instagram video of him

[close]

Ah the hockey rink down there's a spot too I see. There's some shit to skate over at the hockey rink here but you gets kicksted out.

Stoked: I'm completely functional, down to a size L t-shirt, I have a good haircut, not entirely a mess
Not Stoked: I believe I've gone completely mad and am completely unrepairable via medication/therapy.

Pretty much my exact situation; only difference is I got a shitty haircut and I'm bummed on it. Also bummed about just about everything else.

[Rusty_Berrings]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Four Wheels was at my local park hockey rink today, but I only know this because of someone I know posting an instagram video of him

[close]

Ah the hockey rink down there's a spot too I see. There's some shit to skate over at the hockey rink here but you gets kicksted out.

Stoked: I'm completely functional, down to a size L t-shirt, I have a good haircut, not entirely a mess
Not Stoked: I believe I've gone completely mad and am completely unrepairable via medication/therapy.

[close]

Pretty much my exact situation; only difference is I got a shitty haircut and I'm bummed on it. Also bummed about just about everything else.

oh. honestly I've taken up having ~3 drinks a day since I posted that (well 2 tallboys on average to be fair) and the whole "gone mad" thing is a little more under control. I can't honestly tell you what I was thinking about when I typed that. i'll gladly cut your hair for ya next time if you like. i'm pretty good.

[Spitfire4life]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Four Wheels was at my local park hockey rink today, but I only know this because of someone I know posting an instagram video of him

[close]

Ah the hockey rink down there's a spot too I see. There's some shit to skate over at the hockey rink here but you gets kicksted out.

Stoked: I'm completely functional, down to a size L t-shirt, I have a good haircut, not entirely a mess
Not Stoked: I believe I've gone completely mad and am completely unrepairable via medication/therapy.

[close]

Pretty much my exact situation; only difference is I got a shitty haircut and I'm bummed on it. Also bummed about just about everything else.

[close]

oh. honestly I've taken up having ~3 drinks a day since I posted that (well 2 tallboys on average to be fair) and the whole "gone mad" thing is a little more under control. I can't honestly tell you what I was thinking about when I typed that. i'll gladly cut your hair for ya next time if you like. i'm pretty good.

Thanks Rusty. Next time you're in AZ hit me up. We'll get a tempe park sesh in.

[shark tits]

went to court today. stoked/not stoked that i meet the 3 criteria for 'donkey brain'. stoked i took a shower, cut off my beard and set up a new deck and shoes. not stoked on new deck/shoes.
not stoked i got bed bugs in my chair but stoked that every time i catch and squeeze the life outta one of the fat fucks after it's had a blood meal on old shark tits i tell it 'fuck you my man' and envision undertaker and paul bearer arriving to take it's soul to hell.

[Gray Imp Sausage Metal]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

For some reason I get stoked when I get fucked up skating and get a bunch of bruises and scrapes and shit but I'm also not stoked on it because it almost seems like a form of self-harm :/
I don't know. It can be pretty cathartic to jump down a bunch of stairs sometimes.

[close]

if you're thinking about harming yourself give me a call hash slasher. there's people out here who care. even ted bundy answered phones at the suicide hotline.
depression and self harm are anger pointed in. what you need to do is point that anger outwards. push someone else down a bunch of stairs. friends don't let friends jump down big stuff.

[close]

Hahahaha yeah I don't know. It's not like it's all the time but there's definitely some anger, frustration, etc. here and there. I think I just woke up in sort of a bad mood today and was thinking about it too much. Also on the topic of Loving Hut, I looked at their menu once and got weirded out because they have stuff called ocean nuggets and ocean tenders.

[close]

you do realize it's all vegan, right? anything that's 'meat' is soy. it's not 100% faithful to meat but damned if it ain't tasty either way. you need an older brother to tell you 'stop being a pussy, put some ocean nuggets in your mouth'.

[close]

No no no I know it's all vegan. Just doesn't sound very appetizing is all

All hail Master Ching Hai ... well not really, but I'm not gunna hate on his restaurants

[Rusty_Berrings]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

For some reason I get stoked when I get fucked up skating and get a bunch of bruises and scrapes and shit but I'm also not stoked on it because it almost seems like a form of self-harm :/
I don't know. It can be pretty cathartic to jump down a bunch of stairs sometimes.

[close]

if you're thinking about harming yourself give me a call hash slasher. there's people out here who care. even ted bundy answered phones at the suicide hotline.
depression and self harm are anger pointed in. what you need to do is point that anger outwards. push someone else down a bunch of stairs. friends don't let friends jump down big stuff.

[close]

Hahahaha yeah I don't know. It's not like it's all the time but there's definitely some anger, frustration, etc. here and there. I think I just woke up in sort of a bad mood today and was thinking about it too much. Also on the topic of Loving Hut, I looked at their menu once and got weirded out because they have stuff called ocean nuggets and ocean tenders.

[close]

you do realize it's all vegan, right? anything that's 'meat' is soy. it's not 100% faithful to meat but damned if it ain't tasty either way. you need an older brother to tell you 'stop being a pussy, put some ocean nuggets in your mouth'.

[close]

No no no I know it's all vegan. Just doesn't sound very appetizing is all

[close]

All hail Master Ching Hai ... well not really, but I'm not gunna hate on his restaurants

I think the "grand puba" of loving hot spirituality is a woman actually.

[Gray Imp Sausage Metal]

I had sex with two aliens in disguise when I was a teenager, first one was awesome second one not so much, but anyways I'm pretty sure that's why I got schizophrenia and they won't leave me alone.

Oh and let me tell ya- Alien pussy gets the little "a-okay" emoticon from Facebook. At least when you're not using a condom.

wait, can we just revisit this for a few seconds

[Rusty_Berrings]

Expand Quote

I had sex with two aliens in disguise when I was a teenager, first one was awesome second one not so much, but anyways I'm pretty sure that's why I got schizophrenia and they won't leave me alone.

Oh and let me tell ya- Alien pussy gets the little "a-okay" emoticon from Facebook. At least when you're not using a condom.

[close]

wait, can we just revisit this for a few seconds

oh yeah. that was during my crack phase that i wrote that. i'm pretty sure neither of those chicks is frriends with me n e way.

edit: to be fair i was on a bunch of psychedelics with both of em. Terrence McKenna believed that aliens brought psychedelics to earth maybe? I don't know.

[Rusty_Berrings]

Stoked I tried to get away, not stoked that i couldn't get far cause man with a tow-truck repossessed my car

[shark tits]

Stoked I tried to get away, not stoked that i couldn't get far cause man with a tow-truck repossessed my car

why they put the subaru in lockdown?

[Rusty_Berrings]

Cause it's all about money ain't a damn thing funny, you gotta have a car in this land of milk and honey.

[shark tits]

Cause it's all about money ain't a damn thing funny, you gotta have a car in this land of milk and honey.

well you had to have style
got a gold tooth smile
put a girl on the corner
so you can make a pile

[Rusty_Berrings]

"Hey gigolo, what's new? Gigolooooo"
https://youtu.be/Ia-t_qUt8eI?t=2m29s

[Rusty_Berrings]

Marc McKee did an amazing graphic for Ishod and it's on a slick even but I have absolutely no use for it because it's just not the right size/something for how I am. Not that I've ever skated a REAL before I hear they're good. Anyways, appreciate:

[Green Bastard]

Going back to college. I hate all the anxiety I'm getting going back but pretty hyped to awkwardly stare at girls during class

[Tay]

I'm probably moving to an outskirt of Seattle; Bremerton in two months. On one hand I could quit working shitty factory jobs and get a job a skateshop or something, but I'm going to miss all my friends here in the Baltimore/DC area. The skate scene around here is amazing and I have love for almost everybody. Part of me is hoping I don't relocate but I feel it's for the best.   

Plus, west coast demeanor fucks with my head. Almost like they're being sarcastic in a positive way constantly, although they're speaking genuinely? 

[johnes]

Jenkem mag offered me $100 (on instagram) to eat a piece of my old dirty Es Scheme shoe. I thought about it but said no and I threw away the shoe.