thx for the response behavorial guide. i actually considered buying it but i could never skate it for the reason it resonates so much with me. i still considered buying it as a wall hanger and i might even do so, luckily i've found a few shops carrying the board.
also i totally didn't read sir pizza slayers post that way, although i can see how you did. i thought him sharing his almost was adopted story and him being happy about being with his real mom is because i brought this up and reminded him, so he shared it. i am also not jealous about not knowing my real parents and happy for everyone that still has them. and i agree with him, growing up with your real parents is always better, unless they are physically and psychologically abusive. then it would be better to be with cool strangers that are down to care for you. i was happy to get the ladder.
for the record, my parents(adoptive, but they are just my parents for me) rule. i wrote a lot about them already on this forum, too. apparently i have the same problems a lot of adopted people have, which is basically being on a lifelong existential guilt trip, which is not their fault, but just something that comes with the fact and then family dynamics and social norms do their thing in this as well.