Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On

[jack burton]

I'm wishing I was in Hawaii so I could help my parents out.

They're eligible for the virus money, but they haven't been filing taxes since they're both retired. The only way for them to submit info is via computer since my mom's phone is really old, but my mom isn't very computer savvy.

They usually wait for me to visit when the kids get out of school for the summer and I fix everything computer/electronics related for them (i.e. - hooking up a roku in their bedroom so they don't have to share a tv).

I moved home three years ago to go back to school but I'm moving cross country some time in May. Before I moved back I only lived 45 minutes from my fam so this move is much larger. All of this corona shit has really put into perspective just how far away I will be from my family. Im stoked for the opportunity to be doing this but didn't fully anticipate how sad I would feel.

[Yu Dum]

Gaining weight. Finally no longer a malnourished beanpole, but I'm getting a muffin top.

[Banned from the room]

Last night I saw trump telling his supporters to huff Lysol

This morning I was told that people are shooting bleach? Wtf!

I did that once by accident and I was horrendous.

I don't like you maga man but I don't want you to suffer

[Dr-Feelgood]

Out of a job come this thursday.... looking forward to some time off and having a breather but also gonna feel weird not waking up at 5:30 going to work every day....the uncertainty of the future is scary

[Bata]

Gained like 30 lbs in the last two weeks just eating out of boredom so my butt and thighs are bigger which i think looks better but now a lot of my pants don't fit. Can't decide whether I should lose the 30 lbs or just buy bigger clothes.

It's rough for me cuz I'm tall and like things to fit a certain way so buying new clothes usually means a lot of sending things back which I hate doing because it's bad for the environment.

[Hmmmm Nice Bike]

I could relate to those here with weight issues during the lockdown. My issue is I had recently lost a ton of weight, I'm almost embarrassed to admit how much honestly because I should have never let myself get so big in the first place, but I used to be in a bad place mentally and let myself go for almost an entire decade due to not caring about myself anymore. I dropped 100lb within the last year finally, however now I keep bouncing back and fourth between 210lb and 215lb ever since the lockdown. I'm glad I've made so much progress but I can't afford to start fucking it up now because I still would like to lose at least another 40lb.

I just got at a comfortable enough weight to start skating again, and I was hoping I'd be able to keep skating and it would contribute to more weight loss, but now with the lockdown I haven't even had the chance to do so for the past two months. I'm still working out at home but I've finally hit a plateau that hasn't been broken yet.

[50mm]

 I bought a $400 video card and installed it on Saturday. Only used it for like 45 minutes because my girlfriend was over. I drop her off Sunday and figure I'll play a couple matches of Modern Warfare before bed. It's like 11pm Sunday night. As soon as I sit down I reach for something and knock over a glass of milk (I was eating brownies earlier) and it poors directly on top of my PC case that offers just about no protection from liquids because the top of the case has several hundred ventilation holes.

I turn it off immediately but I wasn't sure if I did or the liquid had just fried it. The milk pretty much missed all my old parts but a puddle I could see was sitting on the graphics card I had had for less than 36 hours.

Since I am working from home and need a working computer the next morning or I would have to drive into town to my shitty office I got to work. Took the shit all apart, cleaned everything looked everywhere I could for moisture and finished cleaning everything at about 2:30am. Put everything back together, take it to my room, hook it up, magically it works. By this time its like 3:30am, I have to be up in like 2 hours and just decided not to sleep. Stayed up all night, yesterday was a fucking blur.

Imagine being really tired late at night, laying your head on the pillow but then immediately having to get back up and do hours of very tedious cleaning.

It fucking sucked, but everything works, and amazon is sending a replacement thank god. Dumbest shit ever, need to find a better place for my PC.

[Mog]

I'm super paranoid with drinks near electronic equipment, never spilt on anything important yet though! My desk has cup-holders which i use occasionally.

PC gaming is good training for not spilling drinks cuz sometimes you need to chug half a beer during a heated match of League

[fakie nollie]

I bought a $400 video card and installed it on Saturday. Only used it for like 45 minutes because my girlfriend was over. I drop her off Sunday and figure I'll play a couple matches of Modern Warfare before bed. It's like 11pm Sunday night. As soon as I sit down I reach for something and knock over a glass of milk (I was eating brownies earlier) and it poors directly on top of my PC case that offers just about no protection from liquids because the top of the case has several hundred ventilation holes.

I turn it off immediately but I wasn't sure if I did or the liquid had just fried it. The milk pretty much missed all my old parts but a puddle I could see was sitting on the graphics card I had had for less than 36 hours.

Since I am working from home and need a working computer the next morning or I would have to drive into town to my shitty office I got to work. Took the shit all apart, cleaned everything looked everywhere I could for moisture and finished cleaning everything at about 2:30am. Put everything back together, take it to my room, hook it up, magically it works. By this time its like 3:30am, I have to be up in like 2 hours and just decided not to sleep. Stayed up all night, yesterday was a fucking blur.

Imagine being really tired late at night, laying your head on the pillow but then immediately having to get back up and do hours of very tedious cleaning.

It fucking sucked, but everything works, and amazon is sending a replacement thank god. Dumbest shit ever, need to find a better place for my PC.

If there’s one good thing that came from this it’s that you know how to quickly disassemble/ reassemble your machine quickly.

I’ve been live streaming my mom’s Sunday services for the past month due to her congregants not being able to, well, congregate. I (and now frustrated connecting external video card and crossing my fingers during events) use a Mac mini and a bunch of other external devices.

Sunday morning around 10am, my router starts flipping out. Hardwire and WiFi keep dropping every 10 minutes. I had to tear down my entire setup (massive monitor+(2) video capture cards+ (2) audio capture cards+ all network switches/cables+ 4 MacBook pros), load it into my car and set it back up in my sister’s spare bedroom in under 30 minutes. Thankfully it all worked out but that sucked.

[50mm]

I'm super paranoid with drinks near electronic equipment, never spilt on anything important yet though! My desk has cup-holders which i use occasionally.

PC gaming is good training for not spilling drinks cuz sometimes you need to chug half a beer during a heated match of League

Dude a day before I got a new desk and planned on moving my PC for this exact reason. Will be doing tomorrow when I swap the GPU's.

Expand Quote

I bought a $400 video card and installed it on Saturday. Only used it for like 45 minutes because my girlfriend was over. I drop her off Sunday and figure I'll play a couple matches of Modern Warfare before bed. It's like 11pm Sunday night. As soon as I sit down I reach for something and knock over a glass of milk (I was eating brownies earlier) and it poors directly on top of my PC case that offers just about no protection from liquids because the top of the case has several hundred ventilation holes.

I turn it off immediately but I wasn't sure if I did or the liquid had just fried it. The milk pretty much missed all my old parts but a puddle I could see was sitting on the graphics card I had had for less than 36 hours.

Since I am working from home and need a working computer the next morning or I would have to drive into town to my shitty office I got to work. Took the shit all apart, cleaned everything looked everywhere I could for moisture and finished cleaning everything at about 2:30am. Put everything back together, take it to my room, hook it up, magically it works. By this time its like 3:30am, I have to be up in like 2 hours and just decided not to sleep. Stayed up all night, yesterday was a fucking blur.

Imagine being really tired late at night, laying your head on the pillow but then immediately having to get back up and do hours of very tedious cleaning.

It fucking sucked, but everything works, and amazon is sending a replacement thank god. Dumbest shit ever, need to find a better place for my PC.

[close]

If there’s one good thing that came from this it’s that you know how to quickly disassemble/ reassemble your machine quickly.

Well I've known how to do that, but what sucks I passed on doing this the other day because I'm doing a new build anyways. I was going to order thermal paste to do a full cleaning but didn't and just blew out all the dust instead, then this happened.

[Saint Coke]

The girl I'm seeing atm...

I really like her. She's cool and fun to hang out with but I feel like I have to be the leader in the relationship. Like she won't ever ask me to hang out but I have to. Everything has to be my idea.
It's been dry between us and it's been stressing me out because I feel like I'm responsible for everything when I shouldn't be. Things should be equal in a relationship but it doesn't feel that way.
She got mad that I went fishing without her but didn't make any effort to show up.
Why must I be a fool in love?

[quadcuff]

The girl I'm seeing atm...

I really like her. She's cool and fun to hang out with but I feel like I have to be the leader in the relationship. Like she won't ever ask me to hang out but I have to. Everything has to be my idea.
It's been dry between us and it's been stressing me out because I feel like I'm responsible for everything when I shouldn't be. Things should be equal in a relationship but it doesn't feel that way.
She got mad that I went fishing without her but didn't make any effort to show up.
Why must I be a fool in love?

just break up with her

[Saint Coke]

Expand Quote

The girl I'm seeing atm...

I really like her. She's cool and fun to hang out with but I feel like I have to be the leader in the relationship. Like she won't ever ask me to hang out but I have to. Everything has to be my idea.
It's been dry between us and it's been stressing me out because I feel like I'm responsible for everything when I shouldn't be. Things should be equal in a relationship but it doesn't feel that way.
She got mad that I went fishing without her but didn't make any effort to show up.
Why must I be a fool in love?

[close]

just break up with her

Maybe. Maybe i'll just stop putting effort in and let her do her own thing.

[Hmmmm Nice Bike]

I landed a 360 flip today for the first time in like 10 years, it was ugly as hell but still... 

[Saint Coke]

Decided to call things off with her. I just din't know if I want to be alone again.
Should I say something or just let her go and disappear?

[Krile]

let your heart decide~

[EXTRA SPICY]

I am single for the summer. Queue the snoopy dance gif.
Yet, I live in a smaller locality and also covid. Shit!

[Saint Coke]

I am single for the summer. Queue the snoopy dance gif.
Yet, I live in a smaller locality and also covid. Shit!

Should be gone before then.

[TheLurper]

I enjoyed my date last night and I thought it went really well but now I'm stuck in that weird moment unsure if she thought the same.

Dating is weird. Dating is hard.

The girl I'm seeing atm...

I really like her. She's cool and fun to hang out with but I feel like I have to be the leader in the relationship. Like she won't ever ask me to hang out but I have to. Everything has to be my idea.
It's been dry between us and it's been stressing me out because I feel like I'm responsible for everything when I shouldn't be. Things should be equal in a relationship but it doesn't feel that way.
She got mad that I went fishing without her but didn't make any effort to show up.
Why must I be a fool in love?

Good luck. I did this for 8 years and by year 5 I was exhausted and beyond over it.

Maybe, she just needs to come out of her shell or you need to ask her to be in charge every now and again (maybe it is better to find out if she can ever step up sooner rather than later).

[FrenchFriedClownFingers]

i'm skating more than i have ever been and making serious progress. it means a lot to me since i skate by myself in a parking lot. since my last relationship ended about three years ago i got really serious (in the right ways) about skating and other things in life. it used to be so hard to get motivated to skate, i'd skate for 15 minutes and look at my phone constantly. i broke my phone a week ago and now the time flys by. it's like everything is starting to make sense and i've built up the physique to be able to do the shit i always imagined.

like every time i was just making serious progress into my skating i'd go and fuck it all up by getting into a shitty relationship with some hag who i thought was gonna be the one but all it did was make me soft and fall off

not stoked on my mental health.

before the unpaid bullshit furlough i had just got my manager to cut my hours down to 30 per week so i could get medical and get some shit sorted out finally or just get a new perspective. i am sure it's worsening and i fear a collapse of my mental faculties is imminent.

if i do have any friends they don't reach out much and for some reason i find it so hard to initiate things socially and people often misinterpret this. i feel it helps to alienate me even further

[Krile]

As tough as it is to accept, your friends aren't your therapists. No one likes to see their buddy down in the dumps but sometimes the only person who can help someone is themselves. Your friends should get the "best you" they shouldn't have to deal with your ups and downs psychologically.

In my experience it's best to keep your friends friends and turn to social services, family, or message boards/online communities to help with mental distress. 

[Krile]

I've been waiting my whole life for someone to say "hey are you alright in there? anything you want to talk about? do you need help with something?"

It's not going to happen you have to seek help if you really think you need it.

[TheBoognish]

I'm stoked it's super nice outside, however I skated a lot yesterday and my back is killing me today and I know I'll be fucked for a few days.

Getting old sucks.

[Saint Coke]

I enjoyed my date last night and I thought it went really well but now I'm stuck in that weird moment unsure if she thought the same.

Dating is weird.

Expand Quote

The girl I'm seeing atm...

I really like her. She's cool and fun to hang out with but I feel like I have to be the leader in the relationship. Like she won't ever ask me to hang out but I have to. Everything has to be my idea.
It's been dry between us and it's been stressing me out because I feel like I'm responsible for everything when I shouldn't be. Things should be equal in a relationship but it doesn't feel that way.
She got mad that I went fishing without her but didn't make any effort to show up.
Why must I be a fool in love?

[close]

Good luck. I did this for 8 years and by year 5 I was exhausted and beyond over it.

Maybe, she just needs to come out of her shell or you need to ask her to be in charge every now and again (maybe it is better to find out if she can ever step up sooner rather than later).

I haven't talked to her in 2 days so I think it's over.

[silhouette]

i'm skating more than i have ever been and making serious progress. it means a lot to me since i skate by myself in a parking lot. since my last relationship ended about three years ago i got really serious (in the right ways) about skating and other things in life. it used to be so hard to get motivated to skate, i'd skate for 15 minutes and look at my phone constantly. i broke my phone a week ago and now the time flys by. it's like everything is starting to make sense and i've built up the physique to be able to do the shit i always imagined.

Reading this stoked me out, you're already doing the healthiest thing (at least the healthiest thing I found) by making use of your now relatively stress-free situation to focus on personal outlets. In a way that allows you to refocus on yourself, remember who you are (long relationships can make you forget at least part of that for a bit, when you spend years compromising your time and interests with the ones of another person) and get a clearer idea of what really makes you feel good and what you want to be doing. I hope you keep at it.

[Saint Coke]

Called it off with her today, she said happy bday. I told her we should see different people.

[FrenchFriedClownFingers]

Expand Quote

i'm skating more than i have ever been and making serious progress. it means a lot to me since i skate by myself in a parking lot. since my last relationship ended about three years ago i got really serious (in the right ways) about skating and other things in life. it used to be so hard to get motivated to skate, i'd skate for 15 minutes and look at my phone constantly. i broke my phone a week ago and now the time flys by. it's like everything is starting to make sense and i've built up the physique to be able to do the shit i always imagined.

[close]

Reading this stoked me out, you're already doing the healthiest thing (at least the healthiest thing I found) by making use of your now relatively stress-free situation to focus on personal outlets. In a way that allows you to refocus on yourself, remember who you are (long relationships can make you forget at least part of that for a bit, when you spend years compromising your time and interests with the ones of another person) and get a clearer idea of what really makes you feel good and what you want to be doing. I hope you keep at it.

hell yeah, it's one of the few things keeping me sane and hopeful. i knew who i was from early on but i've had a strange and difficult life so it's really great to get a clear idea of who i am. all i did was chase relationships and stray away from what i should have been doing. i hope so too. i pray to what ever is out there all the time that i will be allowed to continue. thank you for the kind words man, i really appreciate it

EDIT: overuse of the word "man"

[Saint Coke]

Got fired from my job. Didn't want to work there anyway.

[Hmmmm Nice Bike]

I just applied for a FedEx warehouse job, I know the ground work is brutal and the whole pandemic scenario even makes it risky but I need a job so fucking badly.

[silhouette]

hell yeah, it's one of the few things keeping me sane and hopeful. i knew who i was from early on but i've had a strange and difficult life so it's really great to get a clear idea of who i am. all i did was chase relationships and stray away from what i should have been doing. i hope so too. i pray to what ever is out there all the time that i will be allowed to continue. thank you for the kind words man, i really appreciate it

EDIT: overuse of the word "man"

I think we kind of all have this basic sense of identity as in who we are and what we essentially want to do in our lives to begin with, but it's a struggle to remain in touch with the self enough to actually realize those directions that we're naturally inclined to take, in a world brimming with all kinds of distractions; at least relationships are constructive experiences, one needs to go through them in order to learn about their own self first and foremost and better understand the limits of what they're really ready to give and take and do and not do in life, they help you find your current boundaries and thus definition (so that you can better perceive how to get closer to personal happiness on your own and improve your focus as opposed to tumbling around in the dark, which is important).

The only relationships that suck are the ones you get out of having learned (and/or taught) nothing, thankfully those are rare (or maybe I have an attraction to women who are likely to put me out of my comfort zone to quite extreme levels so that the both of us always end up learning new things, but that's something else). Anyway you shouldn't feel too bad for 'straying' away from yourself, it was also yourself who gave all those other things a try because at the time you needed to or for some reason had to, and the process was successful as now you are doing good and more aware of what you really want to do. What I think happened is you went through a certain phase of your life out of which you came having built upon your original person for the best is all, so you barely recognize your old self anymore looking back but it was just part of your evolution, existence seems to be all about those cycles. And yeah, my pleasure!