When I was in highschool, I gathered up all my friends with their girlfriends for a movie screening. I went out and rented Porno Bloopers v. 1. I told them it was a quadruple date, and that I'd rent Titanic, even though I only had my right hand as a girlfriend. I thought it'd be like America's Funniest Home Porno's or something, but instead it was just 10-15 minutes of fucking, and then the guy goes for the $hot, and then a little drizzle falls out. It totally sucked.
I hate watching porn in front of people. I really fucking hate it. It's gay times a million. The only time I enjoy the company of others in front of Peter North is if it makes other people more uncomfortable than me. And to that, some dudes at "my screening" got into fights with their girlfriends. I saw a girl walk downstairs, and her boyfriend follow. A few minutes later, in the driveway, I could hear, "You fucking told me we were going to a double date movie!" An engine started, a car drove, and I could see him running after a car.
Porno Bloopers v. 65, or whatever it is today is just kinda gross. With the whole A-spot revolution in this generation, most bloopers are pee pee and deuce making related. Mostly deuce related. If you're laughing at the big brown camper at the end of a guy's weiner, while a greener shade of that brown is staining the couch, you've got a problem. It's not funny. Poo is only funny when animals do it.
Now, the only different blooper I've seen this past year was the one where the girl is standing on two sides of the top of the tub in high heels, while the guy is laying down naked below her. There is no water running, meaning the only time a porn scene isn't a shower scene, is if it is a pee pee scene. She slips off the top of the tub and almost punctures his scrotum. They laugh, and Sasha Grey walks off the scene. Cut.
Pee pee porn watchers to Poo poo porn watchers are what rollerbladers are to skateboarders. They are posers and can't handle going all the way without having their shit strapped to them because they can't jump properly. The only porn bloopers that should be acceptable is if a girl thinks the scene is over and then one of those giant Freaks of Cocks dudes, comes out with their big fake weiners and shoves it up their ass while spraying their fake jizz into their butt. The director, the camera man, and even the BFA Film Student Grad of a Grip laughs and they end scene. The girl limps slowly out of the room and slams the bathroom door. Cut.
Topic: for the love of god................the porn blooper thread (Read 7960 times)