the water at our house is fucked up right now. Keeps making the drain in the shower back up and leave crud behind on the floor, and the toilets dont flush so great as of late.
Money is looking pretty tight coming towards the end of this month, not a great way to go into an 18 day trip back east. Its my own fault though, money is tight normally, but I just HAD to order this cheap printer/scanner and ink, and a pair of kicks to skate while on vacation.
I CANT FUCKING WAIT TO HAVE THIS LEASE WITH MY EX DONE WITH. the last strand can be severed and I won't have to throw 300+utilities out the window every month for a place i don't even live in anymore.
I've been experiencing extremely high highs and very low lows lately.
and this weird sort of, looming fear of whats to come.
Every once in a while, I give myself the proper perspective that everything I feel, I'm making myself feel. Its an internal thing, and the answer to my suffering is to just stop bringing it upon myself, stop self sabotaging, stop over-investing, stop worrying, stop doubting, and loosen my grip on trying to control anything but myself and my perspective.
But that is really hard to be constantly aware of.
Feels like depression.