Things You Are Not Stoked On

[TheLurper]

@FrenchFriedClownFingers shit can be hard and, to varying degrees, I think a lot of us have some idea of what you are going through. And, I think some of the other dudes have posted some great suggestions that might help. And, harming someone else won't make anything better. Doing a few good things might help. I have a buddy who has been in a dark place, he picks up garbage when he walks from point A to point B. Usually no one notices, but it gives him a sense of pride to know that he made his neighborhood a little bit better. And, shit, as silly as it is, you've got positive rep on here, so you've got to be doing something right.





Spoke with a few friends about the skate industry over the past couple weeks. Fuck, the behind the scenes shit is just gnarly.

It makes sense why dudes like Duane Peters were able to stay in the scene for so long, skaters I used to admire became kooks, and Mikey Taylor isn't completely ostracized for his kooky shit.

[nose stalin]

@FrenchFriedClownFingers shit can be hard and, to varying degrees, I think a lot of us have some idea of what you are going through. And, I think some of the other dudes have posted some great suggestions that might help. And, harming someone else won't make anything better. Doing a few good things might help. I have a buddy who has been in a dark place, he picks up garbage when he walks from point A to point B. Usually no one notices, but it gives him a sense of pride to know that he made his neighborhood a little bit better. And, shit, as silly as it is, you've got positive rep on here, so you've got to be doing something right.





Spoke with a few friends about the skate industry over the past couple weeks. Fuck, the behind the scenes shit is just gnarly.

It makes sense why dudes like Duane Peters were able to stay in the scene for so long, skaters I used to admire became kooks, and Mikey Taylor isn't completely ostracized for his kooky shit.

care to qualify that with an explanation?

[mattchew]

@FrenchFriedClownFingers thanks for speaking up, that’s not easy to do and I’m sorry that you’re struggling so hard right now. I know it sounds so trite but these awful feelings and moments you’re experiencing right now are impermanent. Be as kind to yourself and others as you’re able to right now and know that there’s an entire community here on SLAP that cares about you, your well being, and only wants to see you succeed.

[TheLurper]

Tinder matches who don't understand how to have a conversation.

My not so awesome question 3 or 4 volleys into the convo: "Oh, wow, that is cool that you've been to x, y, and z places. What was your favorite trip?"

Shitty Tinder Response: "All of them."

My response: -__-


Honestly, are people this inept? I feel like I'm talking to a woman at the bar who doesn't want to talk to me, but we fucking matched and she sent the first message so there had to be some small amount of interest in going through the basic get to know you nonsense questions.

[Mean salto]

Tinder matches who don't understand how to have a conversation.

My not so awesome question 3 or 4 volleys into the convo: "Oh, wow, that is cool that you've been to x, y, and z places. What was your favorite trip?"

Shitty Tinder Response: "All of them."

My response: -__-


Honestly, are people this inept? I feel like I'm talking to a woman at the bar who doesn't want to talk to me, but we fucking matched and she sent the first message so there had to be some small amount of interest in going through the basic get to know you nonsense questions.

I don't think people use tinder for the convos

[Mean salto]

Fuken eating salami (not a euphemism) and feel a crunch/pain in my side teeth and spit out this little white thing. Maybe chipped my tooth but can't feel or see where. Maybe there was a bit of bone in the salami somehow.

My fault for being bored and looking at insta but on search like twenty versions of some guy saying fuck school I'd rather invest or start a business. What fucking business could anyone who didn't go to school start that society actually needs? Also ok maybe this has worked for the few but can't possibly work for the many. We will always need educated people. (I'm including trades as educated).
Also invest what into what? So you skip school get minimum wage and then invest into somebody who went to schools idea. It's like being a dickhead who never brings their wallet because their friends will probably have money. Dumb.

[Mark Renton]

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Tinder matches who don't understand how to have a conversation.

My not so awesome question 3 or 4 volleys into the convo: "Oh, wow, that is cool that you've been to x, y, and z places. What was your favorite trip?"

Shitty Tinder Response: "All of them."

My response: -__-


Honestly, are people this inept? I feel like I'm talking to a woman at the bar who doesn't want to talk to me, but we fucking matched and she sent the first message so there had to be some small amount of interest in going through the basic get to know you nonsense questions.

[close]

I don't think people use tinder for the convos

Mainly this. Be way more direct and ask them out. Like straight away.

[GardenSkater77]

@FrenchFriedClownFingers

Always liked your clips—especially the one with the lightning.

I have a few suggestions that may or may not help.

You said loosing your job really made you feel useless. I find when I’m sad that I have to force myself to be productive. Try to get out of your house and stay out during the day. Try to accomplish something. Volunteer at a food bank. Something that makes you feel part of something bigger.

Sorry about your cat. Maybe it’s time to adopt a new cat? You don’t want that absence in your life.

I have 11 years on you and I’m not the same person I was then. As the years go on things may bother you less and less.

Just keep your body and mind active and drink tea or coffee to stimulate activity.

Take it easy on yourself…

[L33Tg33k]

Read your PMs @FrenchFriedClownFingers . I'm sure you got a lot of messages from people who care.

Tinder matches who don't understand how to have a conversation.

My not so awesome question 3 or 4 volleys into the convo: "Oh, wow, that is cool that you've been to x, y, and z places. What was your favorite trip?"

Shitty Tinder Response: "All of them."

My response: -__-


Honestly, are people this inept? I feel like I'm talking to a woman at the bar who doesn't want to talk to me, but we fucking matched and she sent the first message so there had to be some small amount of interest in going through the basic get to know you nonsense questions.

This shit right here. I feel like I'm always the one responsible for making the conversation flow despite every woman on dating apps complaining about how no one knows how to hold a conversation. They're so used to relying on men to steer everything and it's fucked up. I'm pretty sure it has to do with gender roles anyway. And no, I don't have a bunch of jokes locked and loaded to go. I want to talk to you, not just entertain you. Which explains why I'm alone.

Also related to the whole dating app thing. I only get matches with people I don't find attractive mentally or physically. It makes me question my self worth. Am I not attractive and/or too shallow? It's not like I'm wading through tons of uggo matches or anything. It's just that the few I get are not exactly quality. I can't help but feel like it's partially a racial thing. Never is it a reasonably attractive woman my age and it is almost exclusively 40+ year old black BBWs. Now I want to say that I have no racial preference, but it just so happens that my personality and interests overlap with people who aren't my race. There are plenty of black girls that I find amazing, but it feels like those ones have "graduated" to dating other races and largely disregard me. Maybe it's all in my head. Either way, when I do get matches, they're not who I'm attracted to. My therapist says to try to talk to them anyway and I do. Then usually it becomes abundantly clear this match didn't read or disregarded my profile.

[TheLurper]

^^
While driving home from the park this evening I was thinking to myself, my value on the dating market hasn't really changed in the past 20 years. I feel my dating life as an adult is basically the same as it was dating in HS. I get lucky and end up dating someone where there is some chance of a future every now and again, but it takes a bit of work. I feel that I'm still working with whatever superficial style points I can add (or lose when it comes to suburban women who are not feeling the adult skater vibe) to whatever level of physical attractiveness I may or may not have.

However, one thing that makes things a bit more difficult now is that there are fewer overtly alternative girls at this age and the ones who held on to that alternative identity are often fucking crazy or too alternative for me (I'm not down for the chest tattoos and tons of piercings). I think the dating pool is pretty shallow at this age and for skate dudes, I feel it is extra shallow. There is only a certain % of women who are down with the skate vibe.

And, a lot of adults have really let themselves go due to having kids, working, education, or whatever got in the way, which reduces options in the dating pool as well.

Not to mention, these apps aren't there to get us our ideal partners, but to make money. Tinder, Bumble, etc. all know exactly who we will swipe on and who will swipe on us. But, they also want us to buy blue stars and other nonsense. Hell, Bumble wants me to pay to filter out all the conservative women (a useful feature that was once free). It knows that any match with a conservative woman goes no where fast, but it still allows us to see one another (a huge waste of everyone's time). IG has turned to shit over the years as Facebook algorithmed the shit out of it, I can only imagine the algorithms behind these dating apps.

And, location matters dramatically for me (and I imagine it'd matter for you as well). Since the pandemic began, I've lived in MTL, Vancouver, Los Angeles, and I'm heading up to Portland soon enough before returning to Van for the summer. MTL was by far the best dating scene for me, Vancouver was alright (but all the women were all 7 feet tall), and Los Angeles is a fucking roller coaster. Different cities have different vibes, which is going to change our value on the dating market and who matches with us.

Finally, to make things short, I def feel you. Dating apps are hard. When things are going well it is draining to speak with new people and when things aren't going well we feel like we have limited value on the dating market. Either way, this shit isn't enjoyable.

[PuffinMuffin]

The holy hog Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow. Wait to sow your seeds fellow slappers, it's going to be a long one. 

[Frank]

The holy hog Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow. Wait to sow your seeds fellow slappers, it's going to be a long one. 

does this have effects on europe/the world?

legit scared over here.

[PuffinMuffin]

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The holy hog Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow. Wait to sow your seeds fellow slappers, it's going to be a long one. 

[close]

does this have effects on europe/the world?

legit scared over here.

That's a great question. I'm unsure, I'll have to write the Inner Circle.

[IUTSM]

^^
While driving home from the park this evening I was thinking to myself, my value on the dating market hasn't really changed in the past 20 years. I feel my dating life as an adult is basically the same as it was dating in HS. I get lucky and end up dating someone where there is some chance of a future every now and again, but it takes a bit of work. I feel that I'm still working with whatever superficial style points I can add (or lose when it comes to suburban women who are not feeling the adult skater vibe) to whatever level of physical attractiveness I may or may not have.

However, one thing that makes things a bit more difficult now is that there are fewer overtly alternative girls at this age and the ones who held on to that alternative identity are often fucking crazy or too alternative for me (I'm not down for the chest tattoos and tons of piercings). I think the dating pool is pretty shallow at this age and for skate dudes, I feel it is extra shallow. There is only a certain % of women who are down with the skate vibe.

And, a lot of adults have really let themselves go due to having kids, working, education, or whatever got in the way, which reduces options in the dating pool as well.

Not to mention, these apps aren't there to get us our ideal partners, but to make money. Tinder, Bumble, etc. all know exactly who we will swipe on and who will swipe on us. But, they also want us to buy blue stars and other nonsense. Hell, Bumble wants me to pay to filter out all the conservative women (a useful feature that was once free). It knows that any match with a conservative woman goes no where fast, but it still allows us to see one another (a huge waste of everyone's time). IG has turned to shit over the years as Facebook algorithmed the shit out of it, I can only imagine the algorithms behind these dating apps.

And, location matters dramatically for me (and I imagine it'd matter for you as well). Since the pandemic began, I've lived in MTL, Vancouver, Los Angeles, and I'm heading up to Portland soon enough before returning to Van for the summer. MTL was by far the best dating scene for me, Vancouver was alright (but all the women were all 7 feet tall), and Los Angeles is a fucking roller coaster. Different cities have different vibes, which is going to change our value on the dating market and who matches with us.

Finally, to make things short, I def feel you. Dating apps are hard. When things are going well it is draining to speak with new people and when things aren't going well we feel like we have limited value on the dating market. Either way, this shit isn't enjoyable.

How old are you? I'm 36 and really can't imagine getting on an app again.

you said something about older alternative style women being too alternative or crazy and that's something I've thought about as well. I feel like suburban areas can be murderous to the soul and psyche of those who don't fit a mold. I used to kick it with this chick who when we were like 25 would say shit like "I look forward to being 40 and being that tattooed punk lady living in (local suburb)." That comment alone was a red flag for me!

Sounds like you're moving around a lot as well, ya? I think that can make it hard too. I'm in a pretty great long term relationship but, living in the same place for numerous years, frequenting the same businesses, etc there are definitely women I meet and see on a regular basis who, were I single, I would date or attempt to.

sorry, this probably isn't any help.

[realbasedgod112]

absolute pain for the homie FUBAR

[Frank]

absolute pain for the homie FUBAR

so close to the magic combo

[TheBoognish]

Squeezed my thumb pretty bad at work today, shit turned blue in about 5 minutes.

This is going to suck for a bit.

[Mean salto]

Got two streaming apps for Australian tv so I can watch more movies and they don't even have movies on the fucking things. Seriously fuck channels 9 and 10 waste of time.
One has the og degrassi tho so that's something.

[Coastal Fever]

Work told us stay home because it was calling for freezing rain all day.  It just regular rained.  So I just lost an entire, badly needed, day’s pay just because it rained.

[Madam, I'm Adam]

Honestly, I've been stressing that my sperm is becoming less fertile as I get older. I want to have children and I'm worried that due to my age, I'm already becoming infertile and my sperm isn't as healthy. It's fucked to think and feel like this. It's the responsibility of the man as much as the woman. I don't know why I'm talking about this here...

[IUTSM]

Honestly, I've been stressing that my sperm is becoming less fertile as I get older. I want to have children and I'm worried that due to my age, I'm already becoming infertile and my sperm isn't as healthy. It's fucked to think and feel like this. It's the responsibility of the man as much as the woman. I don't know why I'm talking about this here...

get some that shit frozen, my brotha! spermsickles to share with the right lady 

But for real, man, I've wondered for a long time if I'm sterile or have weak sperm. I used to have way too much unprotected intercourse to have not knocked someone up. I don't know...

[DaleSr]

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Honestly, I've been stressing that my sperm is becoming less fertile as I get older. I want to have children and I'm worried that due to my age, I'm already becoming infertile and my sperm isn't as healthy. It's fucked to think and feel like this. It's the responsibility of the man as much as the woman. I don't know why I'm talking about this here...

[close]

get some that shit frozen, my brotha! spermsickles to share with the right lady 

But for real, man, I've wondered for a long time if I'm sterile or have weak sperm. I used to have way too much unprotected intercourse to have not knocked someone up. I don't know...

I certainly feel this. But it works out since my partner can't have kids

[Mean salto]

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Honestly, I've been stressing that my sperm is becoming less fertile as I get older. I want to have children and I'm worried that due to my age, I'm already becoming infertile and my sperm isn't as healthy. It's fucked to think and feel like this. It's the responsibility of the man as much as the woman. I don't know why I'm talking about this here...

[close]

get some that shit frozen, my brotha! spermsickles to share with the right lady 

But for real, man, I've wondered for a long time if I'm sterile or have weak sperm. I used to have way too much unprotected intercourse to have not knocked someone up. I don't know...

[close]

I certainly feel this. But it works out since my partner can't have kids

I don't want/have never wanted kids but the fear in the back of my mind is one day I will and it will be too late/won't work.
Also the as far as the too much unprotected I definatly feel like one day they will be like oh you have some super std that's infected your brain. I've done a million tests because I get obsessive and never even had an sti. But (soz possible tmi) every once in a while I'll randomly piss blood. Also done every test and they will just be like nah youre all good.

[Mean salto]

American sports. Every other year I think I have an open mind and give them a try and always the same result. Baseball is sooo fucking boring. Americans talk shit on cricket (and don't get me wrong I also hate cricket) but it's at least got shit going on.
Basketball I like but there's so many games a day I can't keep up even just watching highlights gets tedious it's so repetitive and they score too often. Weird complaint yes but it makes the goals a bit less meaningful
Worst of all is American football. This has no doubt been said to death but that shit is borderline embarrassing can anybody even catch a ball? They all cheer and carry on when they do something that would get them laughed off the field in rugby.
Really wish some sort of different soccer existed not futsal but just slightly smaller/faster games that scored more. Like 9a side on a 80x40 field. Game 50 mins long. Add ten if a draw

[Bunk Moreland]

This fucking tree in front of my house. It drops these clusters of cherry like things and i have to spend 20 minutes every weekend sweeping the shit off the sidewalk and out of the road. I can’t skate in front of my own home because of this shit. I built a box right when we moved in and it’s just a home for black widows now. I can’t even park under it because the pterodactyls that live in it shit all over the place. Fuck this tree so much.

[realbasedgod112]

my dad gave me a santana shirt he got at a concert decades ago last year, and i made the mistake of letting my (now ex)girlfriend keep it for a while for when we couldn't spend time together
she dumped me some time ago, and my attempts to get the shirt back have proved fruitless.

its extra shitty because he's been feeling (physically) shit lately, and i thought getting the shirt would hopefully get him pretty stoked for a change.

[Uh Oh]

my dad gave me a santana shirt he got at a concert decades ago last year, and i made the mistake of letting my (now ex)girlfriend keep it for a while for when we couldn't spend time together
she dumped me some time ago, and my attempts to get the shirt back have proved fruitless.

its extra shitty because he's been feeling (physically) shit lately, and i thought getting the shirt would hopefully get him pretty stoked for a change.

Fruitless how?
Send a message explaining how the shirt means something to you and ask her to mail it (and send her the money to do so) if she has qualms about meeting or dropping it off.

[realbasedgod112]

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my dad gave me a santana shirt he got at a concert decades ago last year, and i made the mistake of letting my (now ex)girlfriend keep it for a while for when we couldn't spend time together
she dumped me some time ago, and my attempts to get the shirt back have proved fruitless.

its extra shitty because he's been feeling (physically) shit lately, and i thought getting the shirt would hopefully get him pretty stoked for a change.

[close]

Fruitless how?
Send a message explaining how the shirt means something to you and ask her to mail it (and send her the money to do so) if she has qualms about meeting or dropping it off.

shes just completely unwilling to cooperate, i'll try what you said and see what happens

[Uh Oh]

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my dad gave me a santana shirt he got at a concert decades ago last year, and i made the mistake of letting my (now ex)girlfriend keep it for a while for when we couldn't spend time together
she dumped me some time ago, and my attempts to get the shirt back have proved fruitless.

its extra shitty because he's been feeling (physically) shit lately, and i thought getting the shirt would hopefully get him pretty stoked for a change.

[close]

Fruitless how?
Send a message explaining how the shirt means something to you and ask her to mail it (and send her the money to do so) if she has qualms about meeting or dropping it off.

[close]

shes just completely unwilling to cooperate, i'll try what you said and see what happens

I’m sorry to hear that. Keep your head up, buddy.
I’ll keep my eyes peeled for a Santana shirt next thrift gauntlet I run.

[Mean salto]

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my dad gave me a santana shirt he got at a concert decades ago last year, and i made the mistake of letting my (now ex)girlfriend keep it for a while for when we couldn't spend time together
she dumped me some time ago, and my attempts to get the shirt back have proved fruitless.

its extra shitty because he's been feeling (physically) shit lately, and i thought getting the shirt would hopefully get him pretty stoked for a change.

[close]

Fruitless how?
Send a message explaining how the shirt means something to you and ask her to mail it (and send her the money to do so) if she has qualms about meeting or dropping it off.

[close]

shes just completely unwilling to cooperate, i'll try what you said and see what happens

[close]

I’m sorry to hear that. Keep your head up, buddy.
I’ll keep my eyes peeled for a Santana shirt next thrift gauntlet I run.

Best of luck.
And sorry to sound like a dick but you have to learn from this. Never bring anything you can't live without. I've lost hundreds of jackets, shirts, DVDs. It's just tax