Tomorrow's the one year anniversary of losing a girl I dated for 8 months to a heroin overdose from a relapse that happened while I was visiting home, so that's been fucking with me. Also dated this cool international Colombian girl I met on tinder for 5 months. She was into all the same stuff as me (lil ugly mane, memphis rap, tagged, had a bunch of tattoos, down to watch regular youtube videos for hours, could actually make me laugh). I started not feeling super great in the relationship as she could be kinda cold and distant, and I'm pretty affectionate, so I thought about breaking up with her for a while. Also found out she had a thing with some kid prior to us meeting who I hated and beat up in a fight. Shit fucked with me pretty heavy and made me question who she was and our relationship. I eventually fucked around and started messaging some girls, she never found out but initiated breaking it off with me 2 months ago. Still think about her all the time. I knew the relationship needed to end but something about the fact she initiated it, and the fear that I'm not going to find a girl as cool as her anytime soon has been taking its toll on me. I'm hoping I'll be good once I get back to college and have stuff to keep me busy, but I don't know. C'est la vie.