Author Topic: jokes (Read 32829 times)

nice weather · « **Reply #210 on:** October 18, 2009, 06:09:41 AM »

lol, I walk into a bar, bartender asks: why the long dick?

EastCoastLove · « **Reply #211 on:** October 18, 2009, 08:19:15 AM »

what does Michael Jackson and the tortoise have in common?

they both got there before the hare.

PFIASB · « **Reply #212 on:** October 18, 2009, 08:28:55 AM »

what do you call a mexican getting baptized?
beandip

what did osama order from pizza hut?
2 large planes

brent · « **Reply #213 on:** October 18, 2009, 10:16:22 PM »

how do you find will smith in a blizzard?

just look for the fresh prints

Cas4Lyfe · « **Reply #214 on:** October 18, 2009, 10:48:08 PM »

Quote from: brent on October 18, 2009, 10:16:22 PM

how do you find will smith in a blizzard?

just look for the fresh prints

/thread

/forum

trafficjam · « **Reply #215 on:** October 18, 2009, 10:51:24 PM »

Quote from: Yo Mr. Hapredingli on October 18, 2009, 06:09:41 AM

lol, I walk into a bar, bartender asks: why the long dick?

HAHA

Newspeak · « **Reply #216 on:** October 19, 2009, 12:29:43 AM »

Storm Troopers 9/11 LOL

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=64215598

Narcissus · « **Reply #217 on:** October 19, 2009, 09:00:02 AM »

What do an Eskimo and a Ziploc baggie have in common?

They both like a tight seal.

robasheep · « **Reply #218 on:** October 19, 2009, 05:12:58 PM »

Quote from: Kev. on September 30, 2009, 04:44:43 AM

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's a really obscure number, you wouldn't know it.

I have the first pressing of that light bulb

brent · « **Reply #219 on:** October 19, 2009, 06:17:25 PM »

what kind of sea food does sean connery refuse to share with anyone?

shellfish

ASSHOLES and ELBOW GREASE · « **Reply #220 on:** January 19, 2010, 03:08:46 PM »

What did the five fingers say to the face?

Slap!!!!

raul · « **Reply #221 on:** January 24, 2010, 03:23:01 PM »

When's the only time you smile & wink at a black guy?

When you're aiming a rifle at him.

ASSHOLES and ELBOW GREASE · « **Reply #222 on:** January 24, 2010, 10:01:44 PM »

A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender asks why do you have a steering wheel on your crotch? IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!

rawbertson. · « **Reply #223 on:** January 25, 2010, 09:46:17 AM »

the invisible man went to the doctors office and told the nurse "i have an appointment with the doctor can you let him know im here?"
she buzzed him up, "Doctor, the invisible man is here."
Doctor: "Tell him I can't see him right now."

bakingsoda · « **Reply #224 on:** July 07, 2010, 10:55:44 PM »

A bear and a rabbit sit down at the same tree in the woods to take a shit.
The bear turns to the rabbit and asks "excuse me sir, do you have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?"
The rabbit replys "no sir, actually I don't."

So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.

ice nine · « **Reply #225 on:** July 08, 2010, 01:31:44 AM »

why was the inkblot sad?

cause her dad was in the pen and she didnt know how long the sentence would be!!!!!!!! hell yes

saucy ragu · « **Reply #226 on:** July 08, 2010, 07:42:28 AM »

Oh awesome, I was just thinking of this thread and couldn't find it in Classic Slap, where I was sure it would be.

Magic Pizza · « **Reply #227 on:** July 08, 2010, 09:37:53 AM »

How do you know it's bedtime at Doug Brown's house?

The big hand covers the little hand.

chuck d · « **Reply #228 on:** July 08, 2010, 11:56:39 AM »

a drunk man is walking down the street late one night when he sees a cop.

he goes up to the cop and slurs, "they took m'car!"

the cop asks, "what?"

the drunk man says, "they took m'car!!"

so the cop asks, "where was the car last seen?"

the drunk holds out his hand and says, "right here at the end of this key."

so then the cop, now a little irritated, says, "okay well you're going to have to go down to the precinct and file a report, but before you do that," the cop points at his crotch, "you might want to zip up your pants!"

the drunk looks down and growns, "oh man they got m'girl too!"

H8R part 4 · « **Reply #229 on:** July 08, 2010, 12:03:51 PM »

sarah jessica parker walks into a bar, the bartender looks up and says, why the long face?

baconeggandcheese · « **Reply #230 on:** July 08, 2010, 03:04:06 PM »

Quote from: chuck d on July 08, 2010, 11:56:39 AM

a drunk man is walking down the street late one night when he sees a cop.

he goes up to the cop and slurs, "they took m'car!"

the cop asks, "what?"

the drunk man says, "they took m'car!!"

so the cop asks, "where was the car last seen?"

the drunk holds out his hand and says, "right here at the end of this key."

so then the cop, now a little irritated, says, "okay well you're going to have to go down to the precinct and file a report, but before you do that," the cop points at his crotch, "you might want to zip up your pants!"

the drunk looks down and growns, "oh man they got m'girl too!"

hahaha

kevbo999 · « **Reply #231 on:** June 09, 2011, 08:25:21 PM »

What's cold, long, slimy and smells like pork?

Kermit the frog's finger.

Justis · « **Reply #232 on:** June 09, 2011, 10:20:21 PM »

a guy walks into a bar

ouch

a dyslexic guy walks into a bra

whats the difference between jews and boyscouts

boyscouts come back from camp

im awful

LIVEfromthe3one5 · « **Reply #233 on:** June 12, 2011, 11:30:40 PM »

An old joke my dad told me a long time ago which somehow stuck with me

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are a dollar fifty, deer nuts are under a buck!

Reev · « **Reply #234 on:** June 13, 2011, 03:19:24 AM »

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.

And then I saw her face.

BraveUlysses · « **Reply #235 on:** June 13, 2011, 04:47:05 AM »

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick down someones throat.

finknoos · « **Reply #236 on:** June 14, 2011, 05:48:24 AM »

why doesn't chris have beef?

because chris has lamb.

*hangs head in shame*

svilleantigo · « **Reply #237 on:** June 14, 2011, 10:27:19 AM »

guy's dog won't stop barking, day and night, so he takes it to a vet. vet picks it up, looks in its ears, shines a light in its eyes. vet says to the guy "i'm sorry sir, i'm going to have to put your dog down." guy says "oh my god, why, is he sick?" "no, because he's fucking heavy."

PBODY · « **Reply #238 on:** June 14, 2011, 10:51:21 AM »

saw that one coming

brycickle · « **Reply #239 on:** June 14, 2011, 11:03:35 PM »

A narcissist, a choke artist and a black guy walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What's up LeBron?"

Author Topic: jokes (Read 32829 times)

trafficjam

Newspeak

ASSHOLES and ELBOW GREASE

raul

ASSHOLES and ELBOW GREASE

kevbo999

BraveUlysses

PBODY