crazy/dumb things you did in childhood/teenage years

[Donkey Lips]

on a bet i tried to eat 100 buffalo wings, fueled by a broke kid's need for money and adrenaline i somehow made it to 70, by the end i was trying as hard as i could not to throw up as i chewed, i hard to force myself to keep going, until i finished the 70th one and actually fell out of my chair, a crowd had gathered around and i just lay there with them all around me and the manager told me i had to get up but i couldn't, it was like i was in some sort of waking coma, i couldn't move.?  eventually i could get up and i didn't shit for more than a week.

It's a gift to be able to eat like this.


Wassup.

[rawbertson.]

last night i skated home and bombed a hill and took a piss at the same time it is actually a great feeling, although i forgot my keys at my friend's house and had to walk back up to get them, and then his gf ended up just giving me a drive home anyway.

[BuddyPal]

one time i took a short cut and walked through a janky trailer park and some meth head said he would give me $100 to slash his girlfriend's tires. he told me to come at night and then he tried to give me this big ass hunter's knife so i could do it.

[Grubby Mits]

When i was 12 me and my friend were in the changing rooms at school during rugby practice (we went to fuck about and slide in the mud so we were chilling or something) and he dared me to shit on the floor. I was so hungry for respect i dropped my shorts in a second and took a fat dump right in the middle of the floor. My other friend walked in on this and thought it was hilarious. Later i felt bad so i took someone's shoe and knocked the shit into the corner under a bench where it seriously stayed for about a week. I'm pretty sure we pissed on people's clothes too, but that's for another time. I was a terror.

[Schteven]

In high school I once poisoned my economy teacher with Ritalin. I dumped half a tablet into his coffee during a lesson. I just wanted to check if he would react, and it just seemed like something out of the comics or something, that I had to try. Well, actually, I first said to my classmates I could do it, and they dared me to do it. One guy even offered me 10 Euros. I did it. One person distracted the teach and I walked to the front of the room pretending to throw something in the bin, and something in the coffee. It was just 15 minutes before class was over, so I didn't actually see his fully response/space out. He did seem to become more distracted/uneasy.

When I got home my parents got a phonecall, the director was asking for me. I confessed, went back to school, apologised to the teacher. He was actually a pretty cool guy, which only made me feel worse. But he kinda forgave me or whatever, he just wasn't as nice for a while. The punishment I got was pretty fucking weak, I had to help out the janitor for one hour after school for one week. And the janitor was also pretty nice guy, so in the end I just helped him a couple of times with getting the thrash bags and the dishes. A ridiculously low punishment, considering Ritalin is a type of hard-drug and if that teacher had heart conditions or whatever he could have had an attack and died.

And that dude still owes me 10 Euros.

[bentmode]

i used to have an affinity for destruction. i particularly liked to use medium size boulders. this lasted up until a few years ago when i failed trying to shot put a rock through the local american apparel.

[the whompler]

hid in the bushes and shot a neighborhood kid a couple times with bee bee gun. which got my dad in trouble with the cops. and another time we dumped a hockey duffel bag FULL of olives off a freeway overpass and made the news. i ran with a shitty bunch for a little bit

[pugmaster]

ran-off in an ecuadorian's vag after watching "no country for old men" drunk
 


I also believed my first gf when she told me the first 3 times she "thought she was pregnant" ahahhahaha

[verbal ham]

all throughout my childhood years the neighborhood kids and i would spend days just playing tag.
anyway, one particular day we were playing  and we were trespassing into all the nearby apartment buildings, i started to get the feeling that i would have to take a dumpp soon..but i didn't wanna go back home to take care of business, caught up in the game  ya..anyway i wonder off into the laundry room of an apartment building.
i noticed this rag on the floor and decided to take a shit there..i didn't even hesitate really, just got straight to it...afterwards, this urge comes over me to smear my remains all over the wall,,and once again, i didn't hesitate to..later, after all is said and done i show my friends what i had done and simultaneously one of the tenants happens to be dropping by..this woman, an old woman, walks in...horrified ..screaming and making threats to call the police
..for some reason i thought i would have to take a lie detector test, and for the first time within the whole situation i felt, well...bad.

anyway thats that, i must've been about 10/11 years old and i had no shame

[tangar]

i will add more later but reading the ninja star one on the last page reminded me of one. this was maybe 5 years ago or so. so i was technically adultish, but we were at my homies drinking and he was like the most irresponsible human ever but somehow got his own trailer(i dont live in one). so we are playing darts on his porch/front yard and i somehow convince one of my friends (can't even remember who at the moment) to stand in front of the dart board and i swear to him i can throw the dart onto the board just above his head. so i huck the fuckin dart trying to throw it extra high to make sure i don't hit him at all. but instead the fuckin dart hovers slow motion and hits the dart board right above his head seriously parting said homies hair. shit was crazy. the look of shock on his face was pretty damn epic and im sure the look of shock on my face was even gnarerer.  another time at the same house i was trying to hit moths with darts for like an hour and finally i hit one in a half inch space inbetween a wall crease type deal and a small pipe running along the wall. that was pretty rad.

[wireless skateboard]

- its not really anything bad, but when i was in 2nd grade i used to steal tons of mechanical pencils and other things i thought were cool from everyone, just walking by their desks and shit and swipe it when i walked by. if anyone ever said something i would just be like "oh its your's? it was on the floor" or something and give it back
- used to kick soccer balls at our garage, instead of any other wall, and eventually broke the windows out


i cant think of anything else right now but i guess i never really did anything that bad.

[tonitonne]

One time I was buying groceries and I was farting and it smelled really bad so I figured I had to poop and went into the bathroom. I sat down but almost fainted becaise the farts were so stinky (smelled like cat food and onions). I prepared myself to crack the bowl in half purely based off smell alone, this was going to be some major destruction. I let loose and feel my bowels fully empty (half in pain half relieving) and the smell that followed can't be explained. I can try though. It was like a mixture of the cat food onion smell mixed with pizza that had been sitting out for a week with hot sauce poured on it that was lit on fire and extinguished with vinegar. Lastly, I get up to look at what  i've just expelled out of my asshole (everyone does that right?) and chuckle. I reach over while looking at my creation to grab some tp from the little metal box on the wall only to imediately start panicking. That's right. Public toilet massacre and they didn't replace the tp. So there I am just standing there with my south pole pants around my ankles with poop all over my asshole wondering what the fuck i'm gonna do. I get the bright idea to take off my underwear and use them as a wiping substitute, great works fine. Then, I decide im going to flush them so i flush the poop first because there was just so much of it. As soon as I flush I see the water level rising and start freaking the fuck out. Mind you my pants are at my ankles still. I hurry up and wipe the best I could and throw the underwear in the overflowing toilet hoping it would stop while i'm trying to pull my pants up. Shit water starts fucking pouring out all over the floor as i'm backing up towards the door tightening up my belt thinking "god damn what the fuck have I done?". I bust open the door and everyone is looking at me. They know. I don't know if they smelled the farts/poop or if they could tell by the look in my eyes. Neither. It's the shit water flood pouring out from underneath the bathroom door behind me. As I'm speedwalking towards the exit I hear an employee scream and then I turn around as I'm walking out the door only to see they opened the bathroom door and my underwear are floating down the shit water river like some kind of poop stained noahs ark. Never eating a chocolate milkshake and spaghetti before shopping again.

[adumb]

In my early high school years, I ran with a crowd that was kind of a mix of skaters and like wanna-be gangster kids. Not the best crew looking back on it. Mind you we lived in the 'Burbs, but we would always hang out n skate n cause trouble in this kind of lower-income neighborhood that was close to us. Street cred I guess.
Anyway, one night one of these shithead "friends" of mine lifted a big ol bottle of gin from the local store. Next on the agenda, chug that shit like the teenage idiots that we were. Now it was time to wander the neighborhood hammered drunk, looking for trouble.

This is where it gets really fun for your boy

This super hard street gang and myself happened upon a house party going on, and some people at the house started yelling gang shit at us, so of course our dumb asses start yelling back. And none of us were actually in a gang, we just thought we were hard.
At some point somebody yelled the wrong thing, and a bunch of actual gang bangers come barrelling out of this house and corner a few of us. Some body took a swing and it was on, FOR THEM, as they proceeded to pummel me for a good few minutes as my dickhead crew ran away and left me to defend the honor of the gang. Didnt happen.
I got knocked unconsious and beaten up pretty badly, almost got my ear ripped off, broken nose and eye swollen shut.

Worst part was getting picked up from the hospital by my dad and having to listen to his shit the whole way home, as Im all lumped up and concussed. He made me go to school lookin like that too.

I learned my lesson pretty quick, and re-signed from the suburban street gang. Immediately noticed an improvement in my skating and relationship with pretty much everyone.

A few years later, one of those kids stole a cop car and ended up in a shoot out with the cops. He's still in prison.

[Razortail Credit Card]

When I was sixteen I ventured into hard drugs for the first time and I took an ecstasy pill at a house party. I went catatonic, stared at a tv that was not on for hours on end and sat staring so long that I eventually pissed myself and that brought me out of it. I took off all my clothes except for my piss soaked boxers and walked around at this chill kickback talking to people like nothing had happened. I had just spent the last three hours staring without saying a word and then was just like hey sup to people knowing that I had just scared the living shit out of all of them. As a young man this was my first indication that I might suffer from some kind of mental illness. When I woke up the next day my keys were in the microwave

[therealnod]

When I was sixteen I ventured into hard drugs for the first time and I took an ecstasy pill at a house party. I went catatonic, stared at a tv that was not on for hours on end and sat staring so long that I eventually pissed myself and that brought me out of it. I took off all my clothes except for my piss soaked boxers and walked around at this chill kickback talking to people like nothing had happened. I had just spent the last three hours staring without saying a word and then was just like hey sup to people knowing that I had just scared the living shit out of all of them. As a young man this was my first indication that I might suffer from some kind of mental illness. When I woke up the next day my keys were in the microwave

This is perfectly normal for your first time doing x

[Ricky Vaughn]

[Razortail Credit Card]

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When I was sixteen I ventured into hard drugs for the first time and I took an ecstasy pill at a house party. I went catatonic, stared at a tv that was not on for hours on end and sat staring so long that I eventually pissed myself and that brought me out of it. I took off all my clothes except for my piss soaked boxers and walked around at this chill kickback talking to people like nothing had happened. I had just spent the last three hours staring without saying a word and then was just like hey sup to people knowing that I had just scared the living shit out of all of them. As a young man this was my first indication that I might suffer from some kind of mental illness. When I woke up the next day my keys were in the microwave

[close]

This is perfectly normal for your first time doing x

There was a lot of hard alcohol involved too. Some jungle-juice type concoction

[therealnod]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

When I was sixteen I ventured into hard drugs for the first time and I took an ecstasy pill at a house party. I went catatonic, stared at a tv that was not on for hours on end and sat staring so long that I eventually pissed myself and that brought me out of it. I took off all my clothes except for my piss soaked boxers and walked around at this chill kickback talking to people like nothing had happened. I had just spent the last three hours staring without saying a word and then was just like hey sup to people knowing that I had just scared the living shit out of all of them. As a young man this was my first indication that I might suffer from some kind of mental illness. When I woke up the next day my keys were in the microwave

[close]

This is perfectly normal for your first time doing x

[close]

There was a lot of hard alcohol involved too. Some jungle-juice type concoction

That explains the urination, the x explains everything else.

[therealnod]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

When I was sixteen I ventured into hard drugs for the first time and I took an ecstasy pill at a house party. I went catatonic, stared at a tv that was not on for hours on end and sat staring so long that I eventually pissed myself and that brought me out of it. I took off all my clothes except for my piss soaked boxers and walked around at this chill kickback talking to people like nothing had happened. I had just spent the last three hours staring without saying a word and then was just like hey sup to people knowing that I had just scared the living shit out of all of them. As a young man this was my first indication that I might suffer from some kind of mental illness. When I woke up the next day my keys were in the microwave

[close]

This is perfectly normal for your first time doing x

[close]

There was a lot of hard alcohol involved too. Some jungle-juice type concoction

[close]

That explains the urination, the x explains everything else.

I remember my first time. I stared at a tv too, but it had a video of a hot air balloon playing. After it kicked in hard I walked out and spent about 45 minutes hiding in some bushes (trying to figure out what in the actual fuck was happening). Then I walked around and got lost for about an hour. Finally made it back to the party and talked to my friend's girlfriend for hours and she massaged my scalp. It was better than sex.

[TheLurper]

I broke into a limo, stole the alcohol, broke the bottles of alcohol behind the bowling alley. This was dumb.

But, the stupidest thing I ever did was hang out with people in their 20/30s who were down with HS kids doing drugs at their homes. This was not a good choice. When my friends were going to Juan's or Chris's I should have sat those nights out.

[Gray Imp Sausage Metal]

Making a birthday mix tape for a friend and wanted to get all those ridiculous pictures to put in the linear notes (think 16 page mini-fold out) because he was the king of mix tapes.
Had just about finished it but wanted that one final pic so I stole my dad's magnum 44 replica, drove out to the local gun club with some friends in the middle of the night, threw taco/ salsa sauce all over the gun club sign and then took pics of my mate with the gun in his mouth looking like he had committed suicide in front of said sign. I had just turned 18, guns are/ were highly illegal in Australia and I have a vague collection of me flashing the gun outside of the car as we were driving away past a few people in the night. The guy driving was also a maniac so he would always get pulled over by the cops for driving like a mad man. Luckily that night we made it home safely because we would have been fucked had we have gotten caught.
I've probably got a few more...

[mj23]

The dumbest thing I did was my friends and I stole a whole damn trampoline. We spotted one in an unfenced yard, got a crew together, went late at night, and just carried it thru the neighborhood to another friend’s yard. We got away with it too. I guess we kinda figured it was such an absurd thing to be doing that nobody would think we were actually stealing it.

[somethingmustbreaknow]

The dumbest thing I did was my friends and I stole a whole damn trampoline. We spotted one in an unfenced yard, got a crew together, went late at night, and just carried it thru the neighborhood to another friend’s yard. We got away with it too. I guess we kinda figured it was such an absurd thing to be doing that nobody would think we were actually stealing it.

https://youtu.be/8esOhxbPttc?t=101

[manysnakes]

When I was little, there was a show on Nickelodeon where someone put a key into a mountain wall which opened up the hidden golden city of El Dorado. I got it in my head that I could find this city myself, so I found my mom’s keys and stuck one of them into a light socket.

[Gene_Harrogate]

When I was little, there was a show on Nickelodeon where someone put a key into a mountain wall which opened up the hidden golden city of El Dorado. I got it in my head that I could find this city myself, so I found my mom’s keys and stuck one of them into a light socket.

Hey that's a good way to find the emergency room!

So when we were kids, my cousins and I would always get together at my grandparent's house who had a big creek that ran through the woods nearby.  It was pretty slow moving, so in the winter months it would freeze over.  We made it a game to "Test the ice" sending one or maybe multiple of us to walk out as far as we could go before it would start to crack..  Never told my parents about that one.

[doublesteveburger]

my tubby ass 5 year old self and my friend Oscar with a terrible stutter both climbed a tree and chucked a cinder block onto our neighbors car, smashing their windshield to bits

we both ran home but we lived in a trailer park so it wasn't that hard to find us


to this day I don't quite know why we did it but something tells me miguels moms car definitely deserved it

[sacking rails]

skateboarding

[mj23]

skateboarding

this is also a dumb thing many of us do in our adult years

[Resident Jeff]

Expand Quote

When I was little, there was a show on Nickelodeon where someone put a key into a mountain wall which opened up the hidden golden city of El Dorado. I got it in my head that I could find this city myself, so I found my mom’s keys and stuck one of them into a light socket.

[close]

Hey that's a good way to find the emergency room!

So when we were kids, my cousins and I would always get together at my grandparent's house who had a big creek that ran through the woods nearby.  It was pretty slow moving, so in the winter months it would freeze over.  We made it a game to "Test the ice" sending one or maybe multiple of us to walk out as far as we could go before it would start to crack..  Never told my parents about that one.

When I was about 6 my old man took me down to the snow for the first time. At some point when were down the bottom of the slopes I was hanging out with this 4-5 year old kid, running around throwing snowballs and shit. We see an abandoned plastic toboggan in the middle of this frozen river, so I tell the kid to go grab it. I must’ve figured it was a shit idea, I dunno.
So kid walks out onto the ice and fair enough, it cracks and the poor little cunt falls in about waist deep. Screaming begins and the adults run over to save the day. I forget how they even got him out but he was fine, probably a bit cold.

Not really that crazy, but I imagine it could have gone very differently.

Thanks Dad!

[Mean salto]

One time in 9th grade I was dying to take a piss at the end of the school day but for some reason all the toilets were locked so I had to hold it. Then walking home I thought I was gonna piss myself so I just took my dick out and pissed while I was walking for like ten minutes.