Awkward Sexual Experiences

[alrightythen]

This girl I know down the street came to my house because she was bored. I was the only one at my house (thank god). We were talking about stuff, somehow got horny and she decided to give me a hand job. We were about a minute into it then I look out the window and they were 3 kids about 12 years old looking through the window. Adding insult to injury THEY WERE MY LITTLE BROTHERS FRIENDS. I closed the blinds and we went off into another room. I took me about 2 minutes to forget the whole thing and get my hard back on. I'm 100% positive they told my little bro.

Edit - This was a week ago.

soo, did they?

[bo bice]

this happened to me a few years back. not that crazy or awkward, but still weird. i was with this girl for a couple months, and our entire relationship consisted of sex and alcohol only.  in fact, the first time we hooked up (and the first time we met), we were both so drunk that the following morning, between the two of us we couldn't figure out how we got to my place, and spent literally three hours searching for my car before finding it. not my proudest moment. and of course I didn't wrap it up. just a night full of good decisions. anyways, a couple weeks later, we're at my house again, and again we're falling-over drunk. we'd been fucking for what seemed like hours and I was getting bored/tired/ready to pass out. i ask here if she's ready to finish, and while still thrusting, she drops her voice an octave and demonically grumbles "Finish Him" and then sorta half-giggled.  through my inebriated state I formed one coherent thought : "did this girl seriously just reference mortal kombat during sex?" what the fuck.  then I ripped her head off and shouted "FATALITY!"  only kidding, but the rest is true. 

[jeremyrandall]

this happened to me a few years back. not that crazy or awkward, but still weird. i was with this girl for a couple months, and our entire relationship consisted of sex and alcohol only.  in fact, the first time we hooked up (and the first time we met), we were both so drunk that the following morning, between the two of us we couldn't figure out how we got to my place, and spent literally three hours searching for my car before finding it. not my proudest moment. and of course I didn't wrap it up. just a night full of good decisions. anyways, a couple weeks later, we're at my house again, and again we're falling-over drunk. we'd been fucking for what seemed like hours and I was getting bored/tired/ready to pass out. i ask here if she's ready to finish, and while still thrusting, she drops her voice an octave and demonically grumbles "Finish Him" and then sorta half-giggled.  through my inebriated state I formed one coherent thought : "did this girl seriously just reference mortal kombat during sex?" what the fuck.  then I ripped her head off and shouted "FATALITY!"  only kidding, but the rest is true. 

HOLY SHIT that's funny!!  That girl sounds awesome.

[frisco]

This one's not as bad as a lot that have been posted, but still....

So I'm helping my gf watch the house of her grandma, (how many dudes hope it'll be a granny fuck story?) cause he grandma is out of town for a couple of days (sorry bros). Apearrently the neighbourhood is kinda sketchy, neighbours might steal shiot and whatever.

In the evening we're starting some nice touchy/feely/getting hot foreplay. At a certain moment my girl starts to get down on me, sucking my dick. I love it when she takes initiative. But after a few minutes she gets a phone call. Her grandma. She has to awnser, cause else grandma will get worried. So after a few things said (i don't know what, they speak russian) my girl goes into sucking my dick and talking on the phone, like making the "hmhm uhu"  sound to grandma. It was kinda akward, but at the same time pretty fucking awesome.

similar story, my exs phone rang but it was on the end of my bed so she leaned forward to get it, she starts talking to her friend while bent over so i gave her a bit of surprise sex, she was not happy at all, she hung up the phone and was so pissed

[jimi420]

My girl was giving me a blowie while she was taking a piss and she choked and sprayed all over my legs. She kinda just smiled at me and finished her job.

[Donkey Lips]

That's weird to me. Not bad, I mean if you're into it that's great. People are into some weird shit.

This isn't that awkward but a rawbertson story just reminded me of this girl who used me for her first beej experienced. In high school, one of my study hall advisors was a supreme weirdo and wanted me to date her daughter that was like 2 years younger than me. I dated the girl for a few weeks and she wanted to do the deed. I'd had a few beej's before so I knew how things went. She on the other hand, had no fucking idea what she was doing and did this lame 'suck the tip slowly' thing for about 40 minutes. It was actually so fucking boring I had to tell her stop trying. Broke it off with her a few days later because you can't date a girl who can't take a dick. Her Mom has since hated me for fucking ever.

So fast forward a few years to present day. A friend of mine from high school met up with the same girl and banged her a few times. I told him how terrible she was at giving head and he mentioned that she knew it. Apparently when I dumped her, she knew it was because she was awful at giving head. He said she's one of those chicks that gags herself and deepthroats insanely hard now. Glad to hear I helped her find her flaws and improve them.

[jimi420]

That's weird to me. Not bad, I mean if you're into it that's great. People are into some weird shit.

not into it at all. it was her idea to give me a blowie while she was peeing and i wasn't about to pass up a bj.

[saucy ragu]

That's weird to me. Not bad, I mean if you're into it that's great. People are into some weird shit.

This isn't that awkward but a rawbertson story just reminded me of this girl who used me for her first beej experienced. In high school, one of my study hall advisors was a supreme weirdo and wanted me to date her daughter that was like 2 years younger than me. I dated the girl for a few weeks and she wanted to do the deed. I'd had a few beej's before so I knew how things went. She on the other hand, had no fucking idea what she was doing and did this lame 'suck the tip slowly' thing for about 40 minutes. It was actually so fucking boring I had to tell her stop trying. Broke it off with her a few days later because you can't date a girl who can't take a dick. Her Mom has since hated me for fucking ever.

So fast forward a few years to present day. A friend of mine from high school met up with the same girl and banged her a few times. I told him how terrible she was at giving head and he mentioned that she knew it. Apparently when I dumped her, she knew it was because she was awful at giving head. He said she's one of those chicks that gags herself and deepthroats insanely hard now. Glad to hear I helped her find her flaws and improve them.

I'm usually into the slower, more sensual ones. More relaxing and she's making it all about servicing you, but I can definitely see some problems with that if she's new to the game. That experience reminds me of this dude in high school that was in our group of friends, but no one liked him, yet he had some mystical power with women. Not a handsome kid by any means either. He was dating a notorious slut who I'd assume whose dicksucking skills were on par with the hose of an Oreck vacuum, with those soft little bristles. So he's got it made, but some random girl hits him up to hang out, and goes over her gramndmother's house. She then tells him she's never gone down on a guy before and felt that he'd be good for practice. He complies, and she's not that great. But instead of bouncing, he tells her what to do: swirl your tongue around the top, lick the shaft, don't just take in the tip. Sounded pretty awesome, and then his girlfriend found out and then they had sex. The motherfucker. I know it's not that awkward, my bad.

[Narcissus]

this happened to me a few years back. not that crazy or awkward, but still weird. i was with this girl for a couple months, and our entire relationship consisted of sex and alcohol only.?  in fact, the first time we hooked up (and the first time we met), we were both so drunk that the following morning, between the two of us we couldn't figure out how we got to my place, and spent literally three hours searching for my car before finding it. not my proudest moment. and of course I didn't wrap it up. just a night full of good decisions. anyways, a couple weeks later, we're at my house again, and again we're falling-over drunk. we'd been fucking for what seemed like hours and I was getting bored/tired/ready to pass out. i ask here if she's ready to finish, and while still thrusting, she drops her voice an octave and demonically grumbles "Finish Him" and then sorta half-giggled.?  through my inebriated state I formed one coherent thought : "did this girl seriously just reference mortal kombat during sex?" what the fuck.?  then I ripped her head off and shouted "FATALITY!"?  only kidding, but the rest is true.? 

Dude, if you're done with her, I'd sure like to take a crack at her. Liu Kang that azz. Call her Sonya and shit.

[Magic Pizza]

Expand Quote

this happened to me a few years back. not that crazy or awkward, but still weird. i was with this girl for a couple months, and our entire relationship consisted of sex and alcohol only.?  in fact, the first time we hooked up (and the first time we met), we were both so drunk that the following morning, between the two of us we couldn't figure out how we got to my place, and spent literally three hours searching for my car before finding it. not my proudest moment. and of course I didn't wrap it up. just a night full of good decisions. anyways, a couple weeks later, we're at my house again, and again we're falling-over drunk. we'd been fucking for what seemed like hours and I was getting bored/tired/ready to pass out. i ask here if she's ready to finish, and while still thrusting, she drops her voice an octave and demonically grumbles "Finish Him" and then sorta half-giggled.?  through my inebriated state I formed one coherent thought : "did this girl seriously just reference mortal kombat during sex?" what the fuck.?  then I ripped her head off and shouted "FATALITY!"?  only kidding, but the rest is true.? 

[close]

Dude, if you're done with her, I'd sure like to take a crack at her. Liu Kang that azz. Call her Sonya and shit.

Whatever you do, just remember not to invoke the babality...talk about awkward.

[TMZ]

these stories are soo intriguing!
ok sooooo...
the other day, me and my female friend of 4 years were volunteering, amongst other high schoolers, to decorate for homecoming. a couple hours into it, we decided to rest near a set of stairs. we then began to play wrestle as she tried to remove my glasses. after an estimated 4 minutes of tumbling around the floor, she sat up on top of me and laid her hand on my crotch. i became excited and my fellow class mates were very aware.. in a sudden act of embarassment, i sat up and began to passionately kiss my best friend. she accepted and we kissed for a decent amount of time until i felt the attention had moved else where. this event has left me in the happiest relationship i've ever had!

[saucy ragu]

these stories are soo intriguing!
ok sooooo...
the other day, me and my female friend of 4 years were volunteering, amongst other high schoolers, to decorate for homecoming. a couple hours into it, we decided to rest near a set of stairs. we then began to play wrestle as she tried to remove my glasses. after an estimated 4 minutes of tumbling around the floor, she sat up on top of me and laid her hand on my crotch. i became excited and my fellow class mates were very aware.. in a sudden act of embarassment, i sat up and began to passionately kiss my best friend. she accepted and we kissed for a decent amount of time until i felt the attention had moved else where. this event has left me in the happiest relationship i've ever had!

That's pretty wild, and something I would always wish would happen to me in high school. Good for you.

[TMZ]

Expand Quote

these stories are soo intriguing!
ok sooooo...
the other day, me and my female friend of 4 years were volunteering, amongst other high schoolers, to decorate for homecoming. a couple hours into it, we decided to rest near a set of stairs. we then began to play wrestle as she tried to remove my glasses. after an estimated 4 minutes of tumbling around the floor, she sat up on top of me and laid her hand on my crotch. i became excited and my fellow class mates were very aware.. in a sudden act of embarassment, i sat up and began to passionately kiss my best friend. she accepted and we kissed for a decent amount of time until i felt the attention had moved else where. this event has left me in the happiest relationship i've ever had!

[close]

That's pretty wild, and something I would always wish would happen to me in high school. Good for you.

it is very wild saucy! nothing like that has ever happened to me, ever. i'm so glad i'm an awkward cat. thanks bud!

[cheep]

when i was in high school, i had a girlfriend who was best friends with the girl i had dated before her... We were all hanging out at my girks house watching a movie, and she pulls my dick out and starts sucking it.  All of a sudden, she looks over at her friend, who was my ex, and asks if she wants to suck it a little.  Of course she says yes.  So now i have both of these girls sucking on my dick, one sucking one licking the shaft and shit, switching off, rubbing on eachother... And all of a sudden her mom opens the door.  Ive never pulled my pants up so fucking quick.                                                                     another awkward experience happened about 7 years ago as my marrige was falling apart... My wife and i had decided to have an open relationship... Basicly so she could fuck this friend of mine, but fuck it, i took full advantage of it.  We were out at the bar with some friends, and i end up playing a game of pool with this 40 something year old woman.  By the end of the night

[cheep]

By the end of the night shes kissing on me and rubbing my cock at the bar, and the wife was cool, so i took her home with me.  Fucked her all night and she fell asleep in the bed with me.  The next morning, my wife come in the bedroom and sees her laying there naked, and the first thing she says to me is "wow, she has an incredible ass"  she did... Body like a 25 year old

[Bobbito]

^^^^that's awesome

I recently remmebered this story from my freshman yr of college. First off, that year sucked because I was having the complete opposite of a typical freshman college year. When you'd typically to get fucked up all the time and slay random girls, I was standing out in the freezing cold til 2am valet parking rich people's cars. This one friday or saturday night, I get back to my dorm and go to the floor below and meet up with one of my roomates. A bunch of us were just chilling in this common area talking about shit when my roomate and I and this chick I sorta had met before started talking about relationships between the two sexes.
          Long story short, I ended up walking up to this girls room to watch TV and she started hinting at hooking up right away so I said fuck it. I wish I could lie and say I was kind of drunk and this girl was a babe but in fact I wasn't and she was a little thick but I said fuck it cause I'd been on a loooong dryspell. I fingered her a little then tried to get her to beej me but she didnt wanna cuz her roomate was on the other side of the room. I figured fuck it, I'll eat her pussy and maybe she'll be nice and blow me which worked great but eating that pussy was not my best of moments in life. I ended up getting head and nutting on her mouth and all over her hands while she was still under the covers and had to search around in the dark for paper towels to give her so that kind of started the awkwardness. She then cleaned up and got back into bed and tried to cuddle up with me so I did for like 20 minutes for the sake of it.
         It got really awkward when she realized that the whole time she thought I was sleeping, I had in fact been slowly sliding my arm out from beneath her because I was starting to realize how gross this chick really was. So I fully get up and out of bed and the second I step off the bed she pops her head up being like where are you going just spend the night here. I had to make a bullshit excuse like it was too hot in that room but I'd see her the next day and just bounced the fuck outta that room. Went straight for the bathroom and rinsed my mouth out for like 5 minutes. Anytime I'd see her after that, I'd be on the avoiding tip all the way. Also, her hot roomate who was into gay dudes and guidos drunkenly called me out on that night a couple times but I just found it hilarious.

[Diogenes]

I recall when I was like 16 I went bowling with some friends and we all get really fucked up drunk. Drunken bowling = depressingly poor.
So myself and my girl decide to go for a quick one in the disabled toilets as I had previously spotted them as a prime dogging spot.

So I'm lying on this filthy piss ridden toilet floor as she writhing on top of my half erect/half whiskey-dick and shes facing the wall, I'm facing looking over her shoulder at the door. Some father and his kid open the door (which we had drunkenly forgot to lock suffieciently) and is like WHOA! Well...actually he was completely dumbfounded and silent. He closes the door and probably cant fathom the words he is going to tell his son. I keep going as I am getting that drunken false alarm that your just about to come (in other words you can kind of feel your dick again for a split second) and she hasnt even realised what had happened anyway, I tell her to "get off me a second, I gotta check if the door is locked", so slyly I go and lock the door PROPERLY this time, I get her on top of me again, this time on top of the toilet seat, we're fucking for like 10 mins, and I hear this awful cracking noise beneath me, I stand up and low and behold the toilet seat had broken.... Fair enough, Why should I care? Next up, security starts banging at the door, we look at one another in panic. Quickly, quickly, quickly get dressed, fuuuuck.
Sweet, Im dressed, now what the fuck did I do with that condom? I try to think but in the confusion of the angry shouts on the other end of the door, I prepare instead to face the music/overgrown fists of a security guard. I open the door and get all sorts of outraged babble as the man from before stands with his hands by his hips. Naturally at 16 years of age, my first thought is to be like "What!? That's bullshit, we weren't having sex". Poor move son. The security man points out that my trousers are on inside out to and points towards one of my etnies where a bloodied remainder of what I assumed was a condom lay hanging over the edge of my shoe. Needless to say we were quickly removed from the premises where I then had to listen to my girlfriend bitch at me for not telling her someone had walked in.
My only defense was "You didnt tell me you were on your period"
Good times.

Another bad one was with the same girl actually, I used to stay in my grannies house when me parents would go on holidays and shit.
So I would have her house free every friday night when she went to Bingo. So Im again fucking this girl when I think I hear the front door close, I wait a second, and no noises are heard...just keep going. Seconds later my granny opens the door to see her grandsons ass pumping into his underage girlfriend ON HER DINING TABLE may I add. She leaves without a word and we pull up those trousers faster than they came down. I run out and apologise profusely, she laughs it off when my girlfriend leaves, tail between her legs.
Gotta keep in mind though my granny is pretty awesome, she used to grow weed for me.

[Bobbito]

I recall when I was like 16 I went bowling with some friends and we all get really fucked up drunk. Drunken bowling = depressingly poor.
So myself and my girl decide to go for a quick one in the disabled toilets as I had previously spotted them as a prime dogging spot.

So I'm lying on this filthy piss ridden toilet floor as she writhing on top of my half erect/half whiskey-dick and shes facing the wall, I'm facing looking over her shoulder at the door. Some father and his kid open the door (which we had drunkenly forgot to lock suffieciently) and is like WHOA! Well...actually he was completely dumbfounded and silent. He closes the door and probably cant fathom the words he is going to tell his son. I keep going as I am getting that drunken false alarm that your just about to come (in other words you can kind of feel your dick again for a split second) and she hasnt even realised what had happened anyway, I tell her to "get off me a second, I gotta check if the door is locked", so slyly I go and lock the door PROPERLY this time, I get her on top of me again, this time on top of the toilet seat, we're fucking for like 10 mins, and I hear this awful cracking noise beneath me, I stand up and low and behold the toilet seat had broken.... Fair enough, Why should I care? Next up, security starts banging at the door, we look at one another in panic. Quickly, quickly, quickly get dressed, fuuuuck.
Sweet, Im dressed, now what the fuck did I do with that condom? I try to think but in the confusion of the angry shouts on the other end of the door, I prepare instead to face the music/overgrown fists of a security guard. I open the door and get all sorts of outraged babble as the man from before stands with his hands by his hips. Naturally at 16 years of age, my first thought is to be like "What!? That's bullshit, we weren't having sex". Poor move son. The security man points out that my trousers are on inside out to and points towards one of my etnies where a bloodied remainder of what I assumed was a condom lay hanging over the edge of my shoe. Needless to say we were quickly removed from the premises where I then had to listen to my girlfriend bitch at me for not telling her someone had walked in.
My only defense was "You didnt tell me you were on your period"
Good times.

Another bad one was with the same girl actually, I used to stay in my grannies house when me parents would go on holidays and shit.
So I would have her house free every friday night when she went to Bingo. So Im again fucking this girl when I think I hear the front door close, I wait a second, and no noises are heard...just keep going. Seconds later my granny opens the door to see her grandsons ass pumping into his underage girlfriend ON HER DINING TABLE may I add. She leaves without a word and we pull up those trousers faster than they came down. I run out and apologise profusely, she laughs it off when my girlfriend leaves, tail between her legs.
Gotta keep in mind though my granny is pretty awesome, she used to grow weed for me.

The night after I lost my virginity, the same chick and I left a movie early to go fuck in the coed bathroom. I had her in the sink with her thong to the side, almost ready to nut, and there's someone at the door. She leaves first then I follow like 3 seconds later to see a random kid standing at the door looking really confused. Fuck him but whatever I think I still got some later on. Oh and speaking of losing my v card to this chick, we fucked on a gravestone...

[vihreekerma]

she used to grow weed for me.

[nice weather]

I once met two girls at a bar and got invited to their place. We hung out for a while drinking when one of them started talking about sex and shit, threesomes and how she never had an orgasm from sex. I go "o rly" and since she had bigger tits than the other, I groped them and we started making out real awkwardly and I think she tried to give me a dry foot job. Girl 2 fell asleep in the meantime and I was bummed I ruined the threesome vibe.
Then we went back to girl 1's house where she mentions again how she has such a hard time to come from sex rather than masturbation, to which I must've replied with a witty "lol I'm definetely not one to change that" and we ended up never having secks. I passed out happy with my self-irony.
pretty anti climatic story huh? zang.

[Bobbito]

I once met two girls at a bar and got invited to their place. We hung out for a while drinking when one of them started talking about sex and shit, threesomes and how she never had an orgasm from sex. I go "o rly" and since she had bigger tits than the other, I groped them and we started making out real awkwardly and I think she tried to give me a dry foot job. Girl 2 fell asleep in the meantime and I was bummed I ruined the threesome vibe.
Then we went back to girl 1's house where she mentions again how she has such a hard time to come from sex rather than masturbation, to which I must've replied with a witty "lol I'm definetely not one to change that" and we ended up never having secks. I passed out happy with my self-irony.
pretty anti climatic story huh? zang.

Im having a hard time coming from this story rather than masturbation.

[SZA]

I recall when I was like 16 I went bowling with some friends and we all get really fucked up drunk. Drunken bowling = depressingly poor.
So myself and my girl decide to go for a quick one in the disabled toilets as I had previously spotted them as a prime dogging spot.

So I'm lying on this filthy piss ridden toilet floor as she writhing on top of my half erect/half whiskey-dick and shes facing the wall, I'm facing looking over her shoulder at the door. Some father and his kid open the door (which we had drunkenly forgot to lock suffieciently) and is like WHOA! Well...actually he was completely dumbfounded and silent. He closes the door and probably cant fathom the words he is going to tell his son. I keep going as I am getting that drunken false alarm that your just about to come (in other words you can kind of feel your dick again for a split second) and she hasnt even realised what had happened anyway, I tell her to "get off me a second, I gotta check if the door is locked", so slyly I go and lock the door PROPERLY this time, I get her on top of me again, this time on top of the toilet seat, we're fucking for like 10 mins, and I hear this awful cracking noise beneath me, I stand up and low and behold the toilet seat had broken.... Fair enough, Why should I care? Next up, security starts banging at the door, we look at one another in panic. Quickly, quickly, quickly get dressed, fuuuuck.
Sweet, Im dressed, now what the fuck did I do with that condom? I try to think but in the confusion of the angry shouts on the other end of the door, I prepare instead to face the music/overgrown fists of a security guard. I open the door and get all sorts of outraged babble as the man from before stands with his hands by his hips. Naturally at 16 years of age, my first thought is to be like "What!? That's bullshit, we weren't having sex". Poor move son. The security man points out that my trousers are on inside out to and points towards one of my etnies where a bloodied remainder of what I assumed was a condom lay hanging over the edge of my shoe. Needless to say we were quickly removed from the premises where I then had to listen to my girlfriend bitch at me for not telling her someone had walked in.
My only defense was "You didnt tell me you were on your period"
Good times.

Another bad one was with the same girl actually, I used to stay in my grannies house when me parents would go on holidays and shit.
So I would have her house free every friday night when she went to Bingo. So Im again fucking this girl when I think I hear the front door close, I wait a second, and no noises are heard...just keep going. Seconds later my granny opens the door to see her grandsons ass pumping into his underage girlfriend ON HER DINING TABLE may I add. She leaves without a word and we pull up those trousers faster than they came down. I run out and apologise profusely, she laughs it off when my girlfriend leaves, tail between her legs.
Gotta keep in mind though my granny is pretty awesome, she used to grow weed for me.

Hold the fuck up. . . . .Oisin?

[snickers]

My girl was giving me a blowie while she was taking a piss and she choked and sprayed all over my legs. She kinda just smiled at me and finished her job.

She's a keeper.

[CyaLaterByeBye]

this happened to me a few years back. not that crazy or awkward, but still weird. i was with this girl for a couple months, and our entire relationship consisted of sex and alcohol only.?  in fact, the first time we hooked up (and the first time we met), we were both so drunk that the following morning, between the two of us we couldn't figure out how we got to my place, and spent literally three hours searching for my car before finding it. not my proudest moment. and of course I didn't wrap it up. just a night full of good decisions. anyways, a couple weeks later, we're at my house again, and again we're falling-over drunk. we'd been fucking for what seemed like hours and I was getting bored/tired/ready to pass out. i ask here if she's ready to finish, and while still thrusting, she drops her voice an octave and demonically grumbles "Finish Him" and then sorta half-giggled.?  through my inebriated state I formed one coherent thought : "did this girl seriously just reference mortal kombat during sex?" what the fuck.?  then I ripped her head off and shouted "FATALITY!"?  only kidding, but the rest is true.? 

The best kind of relationships. My last two have been like that... When it gets too serious it's usually not too hard to break things off.


Good story, that last line had me pissing myself!

[Jay E-Quails]

these stories are soo intriguing!
ok sooooo...
the other day, me and my female friend of 4 years were volunteering, amongst other high schoolers, to decorate for homecoming. a couple hours into it, we decided to rest near a set of stairs. we then began to play wrestle as she tried to remove my glasses. after an estimated 4 minutes of tumbling around the floor, she sat up on top of me and laid her hand on my crotch. i became excited and my fellow class mates were very aware.. in a sudden act of embarassment, i sat up and began to passionately kiss my best friend. she accepted and we kissed for a decent amount of time until i felt the attention had moved else where. this event has left me in the happiest relationship i've ever had!

I saw you in a teen romance movie

[finknoos]

A few years ago I nailed a girl I met at some bar. Stumbled to her place and thought things were vaguely familiar, but just figured it was one of those Life-repeat dejavu moments. Next morning I realized how I knew the place. A friend of mine pointed out her house and said that's where his new girl lived. A few weeks later both of them met up with me and some people at small diner, and I sat directly across from her. Fast forward to now, they're engaged and she calls me when he's out of town to try to get me over. When I don't she usually breaks into tears and swears we can't ever tell anybody. It's more hillarious than anything actually. She was not good enough to risk a repeat.

Dude thats your mate shes engaged to, tell him to get the fuck outta there!!!

[jerry seinfeld]

Well this one time...I'm not sure how you pronounce it...I believe it's menage a trois......

We decided to wear costumes, I wore my superman suit.

Faster than a speeding bullet.

[burm]

Expand Quote

A few years ago I nailed a girl I met at some bar. Stumbled to her place and thought things were vaguely familiar, but just figured it was one of those Life-repeat dejavu moments. Next morning I realized how I knew the place. A friend of mine pointed out her house and said that's where his new girl lived. A few weeks later both of them met up with me and some people at small diner, and I sat directly across from her. Fast forward to now, they're engaged and she calls me when he's out of town to try to get me over. When I don't she usually breaks into tears and swears we can't ever tell anybody. It's more hillarious than anything actually. She was not good enough to risk a repeat.

[close]

Dude thats your mate shes engaged to, tell him to get the fuck outta there!!!

For sure, if you're his friend, act like it

[Donkey Lips]

Isn't my job to educate the dude. Like all men, he'll find out for himself if the chick doesn't change her ways. All I can do is my own shit.

[finknoos]

Isn't my job to educate the dude. Like all men, he'll find out for himself if the chick doesn't change her ways. All I can do is my own shit.

If theyre engaged and shes hardcore hitting on you, at least tell him what shes doing, shes a slut cancel the wedding!!

NEVER let your boy marry a ho