Awkward Sexual Experiences

[PTDK]

One time in high school this girl wanted to get down, so we went to my house when my dad wasn't going to be home for a bit. Started goin at it.  Everything was fine and shit and we finished then we got dressed. We walk up stairs and my dad is standing in the kitchen with a shit eating grin on his face. We were embarrassed as fuck so she says an awkward hello, then pretty much runs out. There was about 2 minutes of me just standing in the kitchen with my dad. Him just sitting there eating a fucking apple, me just standing there not knowing what to do with my hands. When he hears her drive off he just stands up shakes his head walks to his room and goes to sleep........never spoke a word of it again.

[PTDK]

Another time when I was about 14 my girlfriend (not the same girl as above post) at the time's mom was driving me home from a movie. Said girlfriend was wearing a skirt and whispers in my ear that she wants me to "Fingerfuck" her. I proceed with such request. When we pull up to my house her mom puts the car in park and turns the engine off. Turns around and says "Never disrespect my car like that again (In the angriest voice I have ever heard)......Have a nice night!(In cheery voice)" I never called her again and avoided her at school like the plague. She got pregnant from some dude 2 years later.

[GISM]

^I used to do the same every time I got driven home by my girlfriend's parents when I was 15. I don't know how they never noticed because eau de vagina was definitely lingering by the time I was home. Same girl moved to an apartment. Her parents were never gone and we couldn't hide in the room so we'd be heavy petting and finger banging in the open around the corner from the parents watching tv.

[jimi420]

ive been with many vaginas and even explored the asshole and have never ever found anything aside from a string. gnarly, yes, but enough of a warning sign to avoid anything below the clit. chicks are pretty clean usually...you sure it was shit? did it taste like shit?

and along with the tasting like shit subject, you guys ever wonder if maybe it doesnt taste like it smells? sometimes food smells weird and tastes great. never eaten shit, so i guess ill never know.

It's not that bad.

Have any of you ever had sex with a girl while she was asleep? She was my girlfriend so it's alright, but one day i woke up with a boner and decided to just go for it. I hope i'm not alone in doing this.

[Omamori]

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ive been with many vaginas and even explored the asshole and have never ever found anything aside from a string. gnarly, yes, but enough of a warning sign to avoid anything below the clit. chicks are pretty clean usually...you sure it was shit? did it taste like shit?

and along with the tasting like shit subject, you guys ever wonder if maybe it doesnt taste like it smells? sometimes food smells weird and tastes great. never eaten shit, so i guess ill never know.

[close]

It's not that bad.

Have any of you ever had sex with a girl while she was asleep? She was my girlfriend so it's alright, but one day i woke up with a boner and decided to just go for it. I hope i'm not alone in doing this.

Your not alone, I've done it a few times.

[skate_bored]

ive never done it. i want to a lot. i dont think my girl would be down but with her it fucking depends on the day. freak on tuesday prude on wednesday ya know? ive definitely woke up to her sucking my dick a few times...that rules except for having to focus on cumming and not peeing.

[pollutedvision]

One time I got really really drunk off Jack Daniels and I was hooking up with two girls, when they pulled off my pants I wasnt hard, so one of them tried to jerk me off and get me hard, It wasnt happening. First time I ever experienced Whiskey dick, embarassing. Good thing I dont know any of you.

[saucy ragu]

One time I got really really drunk off Jack Daniels and I was hooking up with two girls, when they pulled off my pants I wasnt hard, so one of them tried to jerk me off and get me hard, It wasnt happening. First time I ever experienced Whiskey dick, embarassing. Good thing I dont know any of you.

Worst time to get whiskey dick, and I get it quite often. You gotta power through that shit when you got two women on your shit homie!

[tobey]

i got one from last weekend

so me and this girl are guess "fuck buddies", we dont hook up we just fuck and then dont talk till the next week. well this weekend my friend and i went to this party in the city on the way back she hit me up and said wanna fuck?

so my friend is wasted and passed out in the car when im driving home with a couple of beers in me, so when i pick her up she notices that she cant sit in the passenger seat. me and her talk and says when are you droppin him off and i said i cant he has to crash at my place. she is bummed but im not.

i park somewhere close to my house and said ight lets do it, she looks at me and says im not fucking you while your friend is in the car, i pull my pants off and as soon as i do that she takes off her shirt and starts sucking my dick while im in the back seat and my friend is in the front seat. she goes down on me for like 5 minutes to get me hard and i look up and my friend is just looking at me in the weirdest/funniest fucking way ever. as soon as i see him i burst out laughing, she stops and saw him noticing us and right away puts her shirt back on and gets out of my car and walks home.

I look at my friend and he looks at me and we both just start laughing extremely hard and went back to my place and drank a couple more beers.

[skateboardnorth]

My friend told me a really awkward one.  He picks me up one day to smoke a joint and seems all messed up.  I ask him what's up and he's like, dude the worst shit happened this weekend, and proceeds to tell me the story.  He was seeing this super hot blonde and finally had the chance to bang her,so they went at it for a bit and he noticed mid way through that the condom he was wearing was GONE.  He didn't know what to do so he banged her for awhile and then went home.  The next day he gets a call from her that was along the lines of "what the fuck!!  I pulled your condom out of my vagina this morning"  She was furious and broke up with him.  I felt bad for him because that situation would have been just as awkward if he had told her what happened during the sex.

Now one of my own:
I was dating this chick for about a month and all we did was fuck when we hung out.  She lived with her family, but had the entire basement apartment to herself.  So one morning after a full night of sex we are both sleeping naked only to wake up with her mom standing at the foot of the bed with the phone, which we didn't hear ring.  So the first time I met her mom I was naked with her daughter.  Later on when they talked she seemed cool about it, she said "at least he's cute".  It was awkward but awesome.

[fappingking]

okay so heres mine

this was when i was like 13 or something anyway i was with my first like pretty serious girlfriend and my parents were out so i was going to sneak back to my house and meet her there she agreed to give me head so i was like FUCK YEAH! Anyway so i get there and the dude that was taking care of me (friend) his mum like freaks out and calls my mum and says that ive gone back to my house and my mum calls me and says get all your shit and your going back to your friends, anyway i didnt end up getting head...that day it was actually a few weeks later when i was high

[Beeda Weeda]

i used to fuck this chick in my last year of college, she was prety much a butterface with real tits that looked like they were fake, and she had daddy issues and loved to fuck. basically she used to sleep at my parents house, i'd sneak her in because you could get into the basement from the garage. I didn't want to introduce her to my parents becuase i didnt really like her and planned on breaking up with her sooner or later. I used to wake up to her crying in the middle of the night about some bullshit I never cared about.
anyways, one night she must have been tired of sleeping at my paretns house and not meeting my parents, so she goes upstairs in the mniddle of the night, and puts her purse  on the kitchen table. I wake up an dmy mom is like who is amanda? she ends up meeting her tha tmorning.
basically I dumped her 3 days later.

[daddy]

i used to fuck this chick in my last year of college, she was prety much a butterface with real tits that looked like they were fake, and she had daddy issues and loved to fuck. basically she used to sleep at my parents house, i'd sneak her in because you could get into the basement from the garage. I didn't want to introduce her to my parents becuase i didnt really like her and planned on breaking up with her sooner or later. I used to wake up to her crying in the middle of the night about some bullshit I never cared about.
anyways, one night she must have been tired of sleeping at my paretns house and not meeting my parents, so she goes upstairs in the mniddle of the night, and puts her purse  on the kitchen table. I wake up an dmy mom is like who is amanda? she ends up meeting her tha tmorning.
basically I dumped her 3 days later.

What a stupid bitch.

[Beeda Weeda]

even my mom was like "what a loser"

[Foray]

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i used to fuck this chick in my last year of college, she was prety much a butterface with real tits that looked like they were fake, and she had daddy issues and loved to fuck. basically she used to sleep at my parents house, i'd sneak her in because you could get into the basement from the garage. I didn't want to introduce her to my parents becuase i didnt really like her and planned on breaking up with her sooner or later. I used to wake up to her crying in the middle of the night about some bullshit I never cared about.
anyways, one night she must have been tired of sleeping at my paretns house and not meeting my parents, so she goes upstairs in the mniddle of the night, and puts her purse  on the kitchen table. I wake up an dmy mom is like who is amanda? she ends up meeting her tha tmorning.
basically I dumped her 3 days later.

[close]

What a stupid bitch.

haha

edit: all I really have to add is that I once bailed halfway through getting top from some junior slut under the stairwell of my dorm building in college.  she lived next door to me.  i moved out shortly. 

(hope my gf doesnt see this lol)

[Beeda Weeda]

my buddy once got drunk as fuck and told me a story about fucking his ex gf, he told me he fucked her, pissed on her tits, and shit on her chest.

I was blown away, still see her around to this day, she's a sexy hot redhead with pill problems.

[steve_lurkle]

I was at my friends apartment for a party and we were all drinking and shit, and there was this girl there that had been definitely dtf all night. So my friend winds up passing out on the floor in his room, so me and this girl thinking he is completely out and not waking up go in there and start fucking on his couch, and I finish off on her face and got some in her eye, but she wasn't pissed or anything, she cleaned up and went home and I went to sleep on the couch. When I woke up the next morning my homie is smiling at me and I ask whats up, all he says is "dude you got it in her fucking eye, that was epic!" and high fives me. I felt oddly disturbed by this.

[Frank the Rabbit]

I was at my friends apartment for a party and we were all drinking and shit, and there was this girl there that had been definitely dtf all night. So my friend winds up passing out on the floor in his room, so me and this girl thinking he is completely out and not waking up go in there and start fucking on his couch, and I finish off on her face and got some in her eye, but she wasn't pissed or anything, she cleaned up and went home and I went to sleep on the couch. When I woke up the next morning my homie is smiling at me and I ask whats up, all he says is "dude you got it in her fucking eye, that was epic!" and high fives me. I felt oddly disturbed by this.

[Doogie Howser Ph.D.]

Cool story bro

[fappingking]

this is my friends one.
i got head listening to gwar.
that is all.

[William Jefferson Clinton]

Not really much for  me to contribute to this thread.lol

[jildo]

I fooled around with my ex girlfriend on some christian rock band lead singer dude's floor one time.

That's awkward enough I'd say.

[saucy ragu]

I fooled around with my ex girlfriend on some christian rock band lead singer dude's floor one time.

That's awkward enough I'd say.

"WITTTH LEEEEGGGGGGSSS SPRRREEAADD OPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNN!! I WIIIIILL FUCK YOU! LAY YOU ON THIS RUG, AND HIT IT FROM THEEEE BAAAAAACKK!"

[chickengeorge]

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I just remember my tongue stumbling upon the wrong hole during a 69

[close]

there is no wrong hole.

you always gotta lick the penny they love that shit spit in a girls ass and theyll love you forever at least in my experiences this has been the case

[ontheswarm]

these are some awesome stories hahaha

ok so i go to this party the other day where the mom is there and is cool with everyone drinking my older friend whos 23 decides to hit on the 50 year old mom and spit some game and i sit back with the homie and just laugh and dont think anything of it i leave and go home and pass out.....turns out after i left he starts making out with her hardcore he goes straight to fingering the ass hole and she says "how'd you know I like that shit?" and hes like whatever he starts to notice a smell and immediately has to stop and go to the bathroom to wash his hand her asshole smelled so fucking bad but hes a little horny fuck and doesn't care and justs wants his nut goes back in the room and starts fucking her but he gets whiskey dick and can't cum and she finally is getting tired and she falls asleep they stop he is like hell no fuck this and just beats off for i think a hour he said and when he finally has to cum jumps on top of her rodeo style wakes her up and just cums all over her tits she goes to the bathroom and dips out low key style turns out she does advertising for the shop i ride for

another story that recently happened to me....I took this girl out to dinner that Ive been fucking for a couple months now were on the way home and shes a little younger and is always horny and she starts rubbing my dick im down whatever so I start rubbing on her vag and shes loving it and is getting all wet but then I start fingering her and I start noticing this smell and its stinking up my whole car biggest turn off for me immediately got soft my hand smelled like the dirtiest vagina like she hadn't showered in a week stopped talking to her because of this I also fingered a girl i met in cali and her shit smelled so bad I couldn't even fuck her the smell was unbarrable

last one I gotta go to sleep so I can get some filming in tomorrow I'm about 14 years old hooking up at my gf at the times house in her room she just got out of the shower prime to say the least shes giving me the old fashion and Im fingering her and I'm bout to lose my virginity and bam the front door opens (forgot to mention my mom and her mom are out at dinner and were supposed to be gone for a while) her mom doesn't like boys in the house when shes not there so she motions for me to run and hide in the closet and I do so I'm like fuck how am I going to get out of here so we plan to just go ahead and I leave when her mom goes to sleep which turned out to be forever anyway my mom won't stop calling me and it's a sunday night so I had school in the morning so I just end up telling her the truth and to just let it be and please don't call her mom and everything will work out and I'll make it home safe......well we all know that of course mom worries but anyway finally after her mom passes out at like 1 am I run down the stairs run out the front door and I'm thinking im home safe I just got my self out a situation as im walking down her street I see my mom's car I walk up to it and shes on the phone with her mom telling her what happened when I fucking made it out safe I had to drive back to her house and all four of us had the biggest talk and it took a couple months for me to be able to come over again that relationship ended shortly after and now she got implants and looks like a fucking orange barbie so maybe things happened for a reason

[Hercules Rockefeller]

holy crap, use some punctuation for gods sake. that was annoying to read.

you?re annoying.

[overheated]

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I fooled around with my ex girlfriend on some christian rock band lead singer dude's floor one time.

That's awkward enough I'd say.

[close]

"WITTTH LEEEEGGGGGGSSS SPRRREEAADD OPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNN!! I WIIIIILL FUCK YOU! LAY YOU ON THIS RUG, AND HIT IT FROM THEEEE BAAAAAACKK!"

SLAP brilliance right there.

[Goblinshark]

Ok so this happened to me a few months ago. I met this girl off of OKC, we go to this bar and have a drink and she seems chill. Kinda Irish looking chick. We go back to her place and I show her some music for awhile and then we start making out and clothes come off yadayadayada. I guess she must have been kinda fat and lost hella weight because her skin was super droopy and she kinda lay there while i was fucking her. I guess I got her off but she was like putting no effort into it and i was getting sore after half an hour and I'm like will you give me oral? She was like "I don't like to do that" and she tries to give me a handy (she wanted me to wear the condom but I was like fuck that) with her hand upside down and twisted around in the most awkward illogical position ever. She hammers at my dick for a few minutes and I make her stop when my balls start to throb and I'm like I'll do it myself. I've done that before and its usually cool as long as the girl is at least touchin on me or something. By now the music has stopped so I'm basically jackin it while shes sitting there watching in silence. Super fucking awkward. I asked her where i should cum and she said "a condom" but I didn't want to waste another on this frigid bitch so she gave me some tissue. After a few minutes of awkward fapping I accidently on purpose blew my load all over her tits. I know that sounds like a DICK move, but she had it CUMMING!  My balls hurt for like a week after though. I think a chimpanzee would have figured out a proper hand job before she did

[Mackattack]

Chimpanzee never would have tried the Boston Backhand...

[saucy ragu]

You did the right thing.