Maybe this thread isn't the best place to air this grievance but maybe it is.
My penis is a prick. I have noticed that when I walk past a mirror, window or some other reflective surface it always checks itself out. Even worse, if I wear sweatpants or go jogging in loose shorts I hear it talking mad shit. Sometimes we'll just be sitting around and it'll start pointing at things and bragging that is bigger without even realising how insecure it sounds. "Hey you see that apple over there? I am bigger than it. At least twice as big." Shit like that, totally unprovoked. Then I fire back with "Yeah, but look at that bowling pin, you're way smaller." and it gets all "Pffffffft...it's cold and shit." and I am just like "Whatever, man."
Sometimes my penis is chill but most of the time it's a dick.