^Smell Good, to what do you owe your impressive understanding of scottish ned dialect?
My football fandom began as a young lad growing up in England, where refusal to participate in games during lunch break and recess was generally punishable by ostracization from the peer group. I didn't know shit about the professional leagues when I first moved there, but being immersed in the culture of football and the explosion of media hype following the advent of the premier league, I quickly became obsessed. All of my friends at school (barring the ubiquitous glory-hunting Man U "fans") supported the local team, Ipswich Town, who were mostly shite and played in the first division (now championship) for the majority of my time there. They did make a brief, exiting but ultimately pointless foray into the premier league just before I moved away to Canada, though.
From pretty early on I was a Liverpool fan, mostly due to the appeal of Michael Owen, who as many of you know was touted as the next big thing at the time. One of my strongest memories from that era is watching him score that amazing solo goal against Argentina in the '98 world cup, only for Beckham to get himself sent off a few minutes later like a twat. Also, my family once owned Marcus Stewart's old garden shed (points to anyone who knows who the fuck that is), a gift from our neighbour who was doing some landscaping work for him at the time.
Back in North America skateboarding began to gradually take over my life, and with the lack of available games on TV and people to play with, I lost interest in football for a few years. Back in 2010 I started watching again, but without holding any particular affinity for one team. Now I just consider myself a dispassionate observer/football connoisseur, though realistically my fandom serves mostly as a distraction from the crushing banality of existence (yay sports!)