Cohenshattuck, first I’d like to say that middle school is a tough time for every kid. They have an innate urge to separate themselves out into rigidly determined social strata. And they can be really, really MEAN!
If you’ve ever observed a group of goats (which I highly recommend), you’ll probably notice that they are constantly testing one another to see exactly where they stand in relation to the other goats.
So if you were to somehow speak with the goats, when you looked into their frightening, indifferent, rectangular pupils and asked where they fit in, they’d probably know exact rank. And then they’d probably pee on their own face. Goats love doing that and I have a very strong suspicion that you do as well.
So I guess what I’m saying is that you may need to find an adult you can trust, might be a guidance councilor, possibly your youth pastor, wipe all that urine off your face, and let them know what you’re feeling.
I know when I was your age, my friends and I would have a little “GUYS ONLY rap session”. We’d all sit backwards on our chairs in a little circle and just, you know... kick it and let each other know where we were at. Nothing crazy, just guys talking real “guy” stuff.
It’s been really cool relating with you and I hope this answered your question.