First and foremost I want to express what somethingmustbreaknow stated:
DON'T DO IT!For me, I have thought about suicide regularly starting in middle school. My grandfather gave me a BB handgun and during that period of time I frequently staged how I would take my life with a handgun.
Later on suicide ideation decreased in high school and when I started adulthood. I started skating and started humping.
It ramped up again during graduate school and when I graduated from graduate school and my biological mother reached out to me for the first time and I learned that I was a product of rape and that was the reason why I was adopted. Long story short, that information was difficult to deal with even though I knew I was adopted from about 5 years of age.
Then I pursued an advanced degree. High amounts of stress coupled with unresolved mental issues I should have sought professional help with lead me to start thinking about suicide again. I should be totally honest and state that I didn't entertain these thoughts in the sense of carrying out the act. I had 2 small dogs, of course 1 was a Pug, and I could never off myself and leave them high and dry. Then they both died while I was still in the process of finishing my degree.
The best way I can describe my current relationship with suicide is that it is sort of like a fantasy. What I mean by that is I think about suicide how I think about winning the lottery. Maybe you have done this when you buy a lotto ticket and imagine what it would be like to have 330 million dollars or whatever. Rather, I think about all the crap I wouldn't have to deal with. But...................
I have a niece and nephew who are both shit out of luck if I die. They were in the foster care system last year and their parents are worthless so I can't leave them high and dry.
No matter what, we all die.
Just ride it out for the long haul.
If you are experiencing the
DARK DARK DARKNESS of depression, there are so many people here and elsewhere who are more than happy to talk with you and to listen to you. SLAP has a lot of shitty posters and stupid threads, but actually SLAP is a welcoming place for authentic individuals.
Seek outside council before you make any brash decisions.
If nothing else, start fucking around with your (1) trucks, (2) wheel size, (3) board shape, and (4) wheel base measurements to find that "perfect" setup. Don't leave this world without finding out what 1/8th of an inch difference does in any one of those aforementioned areas (e.g., items 1-4).